Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT New Year's Week 2012 (Jan. 2-6, 2091-95)
ilikefishfood:
--- Quote from: Wagimawr on 06 Jan 2012, 14:24 ---
--- Quote from: ilikefishfood on 06 Jan 2012, 04:16 ---The girl is screaming for him to give her some sign that he really cares!
--- End quote ---
You mean like, I dunno, ASKING A QUESTION LIKE THAT?
It might be a stereotype but blast it, lots of men don't do "signs" very well.
--- End quote ---
I guess not...
It's wrong, I know for us to do this to men...but it's like you want the guy to ask, "Why're you down?"
Of course, initially you'd say, "I don't know," (*siiiiiiiiiigh*) and if he didn't totally give up at that point, you'd spill the beans and probably say more than you meant to.
I have no idea why we do this! I suspect it is uncertainty about his feelings, and in this case...Padma tested the waters with the "Wish I'd met you a year ago' thing...and that didn't go so well. If I was her I might be pretty mortified, thinking I'd totally embarrassed myself.
When I was younger I'm pretty sure I totally have acted the way Padma is!!! My partner says I'm better now at saying what I want. But I think it's because I'm secure about how he feels about me.
Tova:
"I want to tell you
My head is filled with things to say
When you're here
All those words, they seem to slip away
...
Sometimes I wish I knew you well,
Then I could speak my mind and tell you
Maybe you'd understand."
akronnick:
Neither of them is doing anything wrong.
Both are trying to protect themselves and the other from getting hurt.
Given the situation, and the expectations at the beginning of this...whatever it is, they're both doing the prudent thing.
The thing is, sometimes, by doing something other than the prudent thing the payoff can be much greater for both partners.
The situation that Marten and Padma find themselves in is like an inverted Prisoner's Dilemma.
For both of them to get what they both seem to want, at least one of them is going to have to take a risk and open their mouth.
Vista:
--- Quote from: ilikefishfood on 06 Jan 2012, 16:10 ---It's wrong, I know for us to do this to men...but it's like you want the guy to ask, "Why're you down?"
Of course, initially you'd say, "I don't know," (*siiiiiiiiiigh*) and if he didn't totally give up at that point, you'd spill the beans and probably say more than you meant to.
--- End quote ---
It's reasonable to have this reaction if you're insecure about the relationship.
However, in my estimation, while it may not be wrong per se, it will be a problem the culprit of the mind game is creating. The disservice one does to one's partner (and, by extension, oneself) by not being clear sort of disqualifies one from a stable long-term relationship. I.e., until one can accept one's own insecurity without letting it dominate important interactions, the relationship will probably not be stable.
Of course, stability isn't necessarily the most important aspect of a long-term relationship, whatever the common wisdom is. I'd say this is because there are plenty of other "problems" that can jeopardize stability.
haikupoet:
--- Quote from: ink slinger on 06 Jan 2012, 11:00 ---
--- Quote from: haikupoet on 06 Jan 2012, 10:33 ---Easy solution: "Padma, I don't mind if you're bad company. I love you."
Well, not that easy, for obvious reasons...
--- End quote ---
God no. That is a terrible solution, especially because we have no reason to assume that it's even true. Sure, he is infatuated with her, but does he love her? I think that's a bit too much, too soon. Also: she's still leaving, so all that does is make her feel worse about it.
--- End quote ---
Well, yeah, there's that. But that just makes it more difficult...
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