Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT January 9-13, 2012 (2096-2100)
Dust:
--- Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 13 Jan 2012, 17:06 ---For what it's worth...
After reflection I feel Martin did the right thing.
--- End quote ---
He's right, for the wrong reasons.
Tormuse:
--- Quote from: pwhodges on 13 Jan 2012, 16:07 ---It seems my simple three-line scenario that seems to me to explain everything just didn't have enough words* to be satisfying - judging by the walls of text that continue to appear, and the listings of who blew off whom and when and who was playing what game and what everyone's obligations were.
* Or blame. Clearly I didn't assign enough blame to be acceptable.
--- End quote ---
There are quite a few people here who would also like to be the "voice of reason" here. I'd say yours just got lost in the shuffle. :) (Besides, everyone wants to get their viewpoints in because complaining is therapeutic!) :lol:
--- Quote from: Vista on 13 Jan 2012, 13:58 ---2. In fact, she told him this was a short-term deal, and hasn't hinted at otherwise.
--- End quote ---
Did she ever actually say that? I don't think they ever did have such a conversation. I got the impression that they've just been doing this stuff together without actually discussing the implications of it. And the fact that she decided to stay longer seemed to imply that she was considering a long-term deal with Marten. (or at least, that's how Marten seemed to interpret it)
--- Quote from: Vista on 13 Jan 2012, 13:58 ---In contrast, Marten blew off Padma when he had nothing better to do--and he didn't--and may never see her again. He acted like an asshole towards someone who should have been a friend first, because he didn't get what he wanted. (I understand that he didn't consider her a friend first, and I find that sad.)
--- End quote ---
I think I have a different definition of the word "asshole" than you do. To me, the word implies malicious intent and/or carelessly hurting someone for no reason. I didn't get the impression that Marten did what he did to be malicious toward Padma or that he didn't give any thought about her feelings, more that he felt that she was leading him on and hurting him and he was trying to stop her from hurting him further. Obviously, he didn't handle it as well as he could have, but the "asshole" label doesn't really apply unless you have a different definition for the word.
DannicaJ:
--- Quote from: Tormuse on 14 Jan 2012, 01:49 ---I think I have a different definition of the word "asshole" than you do. To me, the word implies malicious intent and/or carelessly hurting someone for no reason. I didn't get the impression that Marten did what he did to be malicious toward Padma or that he didn't give any thought about her feelings, more that he felt that she was leading him on and hurting him and he was trying to stop her from hurting him further. Obviously, he didn't handle it as well as he could have, but the "asshole" label doesn't really apply unless you have a different definition for the word.
--- End quote ---
From Padma's perspective:
She knows the break-up is coming and it will suck. She doesn't know if Marten can make it better (this is supported by the remark in bed the last time they met). She might want him to prove to her that he can make her feel better. To come over without her asking. To prove he is as emotionally invested as she is. To make something better. But he doesn't. She does not see that she is being just as childish as he is. She just wants it to suck less. She wants to see that she's not just a stupid girl falling in love with the wrong guy. Who knows? Maybe she just panicked.
As the time winds down, she understands that he isn't going to come. She decides, against her earlier judgement, that she likes him enough to see him one last time. Despite not immediately agreeing with her that they should have been together longer, she thinks he deserves it. That they could have one romantic night, and leave on a good note. And then he blows her off, without giving a reason less nebulous that "I'm busy". Leaving her alone, not sure if he really cares, not sure if her worst fears are true or not. In that last act, he didn't behave like a boyfriend. He acted like a self-centered asshole.
This is just one possible scenario. It's doing the exact same thing as Marten did only earlier, because he triggered it with a stupid remark he didn't think about. Did Marten consider this? Not according to his conversations with the rest of the cast. He doesn't even understand his own reaction. It's a knee-jerk reply, which he can't rationally explain. So according to your definition, he carelessly hurt Padma for no reason. And is an asshole.
No one is saying Marten is a scumbag, looking to hurt Padma (well, a few are). Everyone should know he's too passive to do that. He felt unwanted when she didn't want to be with him, and that sucks. Thinking about her hurt him, so after a week of getting pushed away and trying to not think about her, he just acted on instinct. But he obviously didn't consider the fact that Padma could be just as hurt as he was.
That being said, it is kind of about time. He's been trying to please everyone since the comic began, and this is the first time he didn't (even when he broke up with Dora, he did it because she left him no option to make things better). He did it clumsily, and mishandled it terribly. But it's a step on the right path. He did something (without understanding why) because HE WANTED TO DO IT. Good for him. People shouldn't be nice all the time. That world would be hypocritical and disgusting.
I'm still wondering why Faye's blatant disregard for Marten's feelings when he's been on edge for so long isn't getting more attention though.
blacksinow:
I'm going to say some things that were likely discussed previously, so bare with me, okay? I think Martin is worried about being hurt, and he had just gotten out of a relationship that had almost devastated him. I think what SHOULD have happened, is the interference from his friends. Sometimes, you CANNOT let people who are passive aggressive make these kinds of decisions final. Sometimes, you have to do it for them, I know because I'm also very passive aggressive. If Faye had went over there, instead of expecting Martin to do the right thing, and talk with Padma herself, I think things may have been better. It is further likely that he had seen the signs of the relationship prematurely ending before they had left, or had interpreted them as such.
I know some are going to think this makes little sense, but in the end, Faye, Padma, Martin, they were all responsible for what had happened. Padma may have wanted Martin to go to her, but she made it worse by pouring gasoline on the fire and avoiding him by using shitty excuses. It is Martin's fault for not saying anything, hell, it would've been better if he had asked for Faye's help. And it is Faye's help for realizing that he really needed someone to drag him over there. Good friends do that, even if they know you aren't going to like it at first.
I can't believe anyone had thought this would go great when Padma blew him off the first time. I had almost seen it coming a mile away...
lepetitfromage:
--- Quote from: sitnspin on 13 Jan 2012, 21:24 ---Why are people acting like Padma treated Marten badly? Or "used" him? She behaved in a way consistent with the parameters established at the beginning of their involvement. They were not dating, they were not boyfriend and girlfriend. They were two adults who decided to hook up temporarily. There was no emotional obligation. "OMG, she wanted a booty call after not talking for a week!" The whole relationship has been one long booty call. That was the point.
Both misread the others intentions.
--- End quote ---
Thank youuuu, I've been thinking this same thing all along.
Fun last minute fling+Rebound+lack of communication= This will not end well
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