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Forming a new band

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idontunderstand:
I'm sitting down to write this without any idea quite what I want to say, so bear with me. Or not.

I've recently moved out of my university city of Lund, to Halmstad, which is about two hours further north. This is problematic for a number of reasons, but of course kind of unavoidable. Now, we had to split my band, since we were three people and there was no reason for them to keep going without me. The problem I want to address here is therefore: How do you go ahead and form a new band?

I've always been the kind of person who's more into working together with someone rather than using them as sidemen to play my songs the way I've pictured them beforehand. I already know what I sound like, I don't think it's very interesting to just project my style or whatever onto others. I may have a bass line, a lyric, a melody or something, and we'll write something together using that as a basis. On the other hand I want some level of control, in the sense that I don't want to be stuck playing something which I think sucks or just isn't my thing for some reason. Can I afford to be picky? Probably not. Am I satisfied playing cover songs and occasional Guns n' Roses ripoffs written by some guitar playing turd with no interest in doing something even slightly interesting or original? Nope.

The guitar player in my former band was the kind of person I could imagine playing with until the day that I die. We connected on the level where we were usually able to just sit down and play without knowing what we were going to do, and come up with an idea within 2 seconds. It was like that from the first time we played together until the last. It was sort of once-in-a-lifetime I guess.

Y'all, do you have a musical soulmate? How did you meet? I need a project and I need someone to play with. Or maybe I should try something else, like learning how to program some fucking drums and do everything by myself. How do you do it? Which do you prefer?

Head full of problems.. no single way of expressing it. Maybe I'm just venting. I'm 26 years old and I play bass by the way, also handling singing duties whenever needed. I'll be crawling up the walls within weeks unless I find some kind of project again where I'm living now.

Answer any of my questions or just rant away like me..

Melodic:
Step one is finding people with mutual interests, and the easiest way to do that is to go to shows you enjoy and just start talking to the people you meet there. Everything else—logistics, playing styles, personalities—will sort itself out, or not, once you start playing with someone again. It sounds like you're just anxious to get a new project started, so don't worry about all the little details and go meet someone that plays.

blaha 41:
Going at it solo would be better than whining about it wouldn't it?

THAT being said...

I understand how you feel so much that I'm learning keys just so I can have another way I might be able to fit myself into a band. I think my next way to find bandmates will be to start hitting open mics playing some originals I wrote on the keyboard and letting people know "I'm looking to join a band."

idontunderstand:
It's QUITE possible that I'm overthinking stuff. But I'm reluctant to just play with people for the sake of it, I've tried that before and it didn't work out for me, it just ends up with me being stuck with bands I don't really like. But then I guess there's no other way.

Melodic:
For the love of God avoid open mics. Seriously, you're asking for all KINDS of trouble trying to find bandmates at a forum like that.

OP, just be honest with yourself and the people you play with about what you do, and do not, want to play. Bands can be a sum of their parts (and a sum of those influences) or they can be one guy leading around a group of musicians, it's up to you.

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