Reminds me of a joke...
Many years ago, a rather dapper fellow went into a lingerie store - high collar, bowler, spats, the whole deal. The clerk asked if she could help him, and he said he wanted to purchase a brassiere for a lady friend.
"Certainly, sir; what size?"
"Seven and three eighths."
"I'm sorry, sir?"
"Seven and three eighths."
"I'm afraid that's not a brassiere size, sir. How did you come by that number?"
"Why, I measured it myself!"
"May I ask how, sir?"
"With my hat, of course!"
[crickets]