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There oughta be a law!

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Welu:
I hope this is different enough from the Vitriolic Letters thread. A place discuss peeves and what rules you would put in place if you had the power to do so.

My first example:
Ear/headphones should be mandatory if you intend on listening to anything through a phone/MP3 player/computer in an area where there are other people, such as public transport or classrooms where music is allowed. Forgetting or lack of supplied ear/headphones is not an excuse

Edit: Title changed because this one is better.

Barmymoo:
"Inside voices" or whispering must be used for all conversations taking place outside private residences after 11pm, unless the location in question is a public venue in which noise is expected (such as a club or pub). Shouting in the streets or corridors of communal residences is not permitted and should be punished by temporary removal of vocal apparatus after sunset for repeat offenders (I wish this were actually possible).

TheEvilDog:
Quietly chewing should be mandatory. There are few things more offputting or disgusting to me than hearing someone eating from across the room.

VonKleist:
The rules for speaking should go for making public phone-calls too. Also they should be as brief as possible and no private disgusting or inappropriate information shall be passed ("YAh, I´ve got this really big thing to tell ya! I´m pregnant and I don't know wether it´s X's or Y's").

Goddamnit, people. Have a little dignity.

nekowafer:
Oh my god chewing noises. And just general mouth sounds. Keep that shit quiet, keep as much of your food and spit as possible in your own mouth, for the love of my sanity. Also, no speaking with your mouth full of food, if at all possible. If you must talk with anything in your mouth, please try being polite and covering your mouth so I do not have to see whatever is in there.

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