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Author Topic: QC Captions Vol. 85  (Read 16648 times)

iduguphergrave

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QC Captions Vol. 85
« on: 21 Oct 2012, 07:59 »
PARTY! Nothing says party like a banana hammock:



Enjoy!

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MillionDollar Belt Sander

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #1 on: 21 Oct 2012, 10:24 »
CLAIRE:    You mean that's mechanical too?!  How did--

CLINTON:  New hand, random porn encounter, improper calibration.  I don't want to discuss it further.
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Carl-E

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #2 on: 21 Oct 2012, 10:31 »
OK, thread's over. 


We have a weiner!
« Last Edit: 21 Oct 2012, 10:40 by Carl-E »
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When people try to speak a gut reaction, they end up talking out their ass.

MillionDollar Belt Sander

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #3 on: 21 Oct 2012, 11:49 »
Well that was easy.   See ya'll Wednesday.    8-)
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #4 on: 21 Oct 2012, 12:07 »
Claire: "OMG, there's a brain slug on your back!"
Clinton: "Hmmph, I'm not falling for that one again."
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #5 on: 21 Oct 2012, 12:33 »
Claire:  "Where did you get those?"

Clinton:  "Your drawer."
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Pilchard123

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #6 on: 21 Oct 2012, 13:09 »
Clinton: I don't see why you can comment. You're not a guy.

Claire: No, but even I know the potato goes in the front!
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Skewbrow

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #7 on: 21 Oct 2012, 14:04 »
Claire: "Put on some sunblock will y'a! We're redheads. We get sunburnt easily. Remember what your bottom looked like after that trip on Lake Erie in '96?"
Clinton: "Giving these brand new photovoltaic melanocytes a test run first. Gimme your vibrator. I'll recharge the batteries for you. May be you won't be so uptight then?"
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DSL

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #8 on: 21 Oct 2012, 16:11 »
Quote from: Skewbrow on 21 Oct 2012, 14:04
Claire: "... Remember what your bottom looked like after that trip on Lake Erie in '96?"

That would have been zebra mussel rash.
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Sorflakne

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #9 on: 21 Oct 2012, 22:05 »
Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 21 Oct 2012, 10:24
CLAIRE:    You mean that's mechanical too?!  How did--

CLINTON:  New hand, random porn encounter, improper calibration.  I don't want to discuss it further.
Wow.  Thread over in the first reply.


Claire: How can you wear that??!
Clinton: How can you not?  It's like wearing nothing at all.
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WAYF

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #10 on: 21 Oct 2012, 23:02 »
...Nothing at all!... NOTHING AT ALL!!
(Stupid Sexy Clinton?)

But I agree, MDBS just knocked it out of the park.
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Vurogj

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #11 on: 21 Oct 2012, 23:30 »
Again, applause to MDBS. When I had a peek at work I thought about a callback to myself, but no way, this one's done.
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FunkyTuba

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #12 on: 22 Oct 2012, 00:23 »
85 is a damn lot of these things.
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Spiff

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #13 on: 22 Oct 2012, 01:44 »
But we haven't heard the whole conversation:

Claire: "Your pants certainly don't leave much to the imagination."

Clinton: "Actually, since my last upgrade, they do."

Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 21 Oct 2012, 10:24
CLAIRE:    You mean that's mechanical too?!  How did--

CLINTON:  New hand, random porn encounter, improper calibration.  I don't want to discuss it further.
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DSL

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #14 on: 22 Oct 2012, 04:45 »
CLAIRE: "You're nothing special. I know another guy with an artificial hand named Smith ... "
CLINTON: "Oh yeah? What'd he name his other hand?"
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Pilchard123

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #15 on: 22 Oct 2012, 11:18 »
I'm reckoning panel one or four could make for some interesting stuff as a caption contest.
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FunkyTuba

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #16 on: 22 Oct 2012, 12:07 »
Hard to beat... so I'll just riff instead:

Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 21 Oct 2012, 10:24
CLAIRE:    You mean that's mechanical too?!  How did--

CLINTON:  I asked rudely for a banana smoothie.  I don't want to discuss it further.

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Skewbrow

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #17 on: 22 Oct 2012, 14:26 »
More riffing the wiener:

Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 21 Oct 2012, 10:24
CLAIRE:    You mean that's mechanical too?!  How did--

CLINTON:  New hand, random porn encounter, improper calibration of the autonomous mode.  I don't want to discuss it further.

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MillionDollar Belt Sander

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #18 on: 22 Oct 2012, 17:07 »
Might as well play along, eh?    8-)

Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 21 Oct 2012, 10:24
CLAIRE:    You mean that's mechanical too?!  How did--

CLINTON: Robo-Hand and I were playing a game of Hide The Sausage that went horribly wrong.

 :-D
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WAYF

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #19 on: 23 Oct 2012, 00:37 »
Did you just win TWICE, with a kicker to your OWN caption?
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #20 on: 23 Oct 2012, 04:05 »
That's it - this thread needs a reboot - our friendly neighbourhood expensive powertool has not only won the thread he's made it impossible to stop chuckling.

Well done.
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MillionDollar Belt Sander

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #21 on: 23 Oct 2012, 04:42 »
I seem to be some kind of creepy horrifying-groin-injury-humor savant.    This happens in conversation, in MMORPGs and tabletop RPGs.       Other writers have consulted me for ideas, believe it or not. (*) 







(*) LIES!
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #22 on: 23 Oct 2012, 04:51 »
You must have seen the machine belt injury story?

Probably more than once.

Do not follow this link if you are  squeamish:
http://www.snopes.com/risque/penile/scrotum.asp
« Last Edit: 23 Oct 2012, 09:19 by Is it cold in here? »
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MillionDollar Belt Sander

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #23 on: 23 Oct 2012, 05:03 »
Many times, in fact it was one of my standard "machine shop safety" training stories.   :)
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MillionDollar Belt Sander

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #24 on: 23 Oct 2012, 06:13 »
CLARIE:  So is there ANY part of you that's not "upgraded?"
CLINTON:   Asshole.
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iduguphergrave

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #25 on: 23 Oct 2012, 07:00 »
*sigh* You guys...



 :-P
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Border Reiver

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #26 on: 23 Oct 2012, 07:09 »
Marten:  "Can you believe how fast Million Dollar Beltsander won the first part of the week?"

Faye:  "Yes, it was an extremely humourous response not easliy topped."

Emily:  "What are you talking about?"

alt

Marten:  "How is it my responsibility to feed and water?"

Faye:  "You've seen my ability with a toaster."

Emily:  "So that was you.  You ruined a perfectly good body there."
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MillionDollar Belt Sander

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #27 on: 23 Oct 2012, 07:15 »
Martin:  MDBS should sit out the next round, just say'n.

Faye:  That ain't likely he'll drop in with some hilarious groin injury joke and it's over.

Emily:  I love groin-injuries.
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #28 on: 23 Oct 2012, 07:45 »
FAYE: "Repetitive groin injury?"
MARTEN: "It got caught in a belt sander."
EMILY: "Banana smoothie!"
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Is it cold in here?

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #29 on: 23 Oct 2012, 09:21 »
Faye: "Even for you that's s lame swimsuit."
Marten: "Hey, it's the same style my mother uses!"
Emily: "Anyone want a hand grenade?"
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #30 on: 23 Oct 2012, 09:50 »
MARTEN: "Look, I'm taking her off the pitcher's mound. She's been throwing cans of corn the whole game, and the other strip has been hitting them out of the park something positive."
FAYE: "She just needs to put a little pepper on it, is all."
EMILY: "Coming right up!"
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Ph2

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #31 on: 23 Oct 2012, 10:36 »
Marten: Can we at least her friend-spade?

Faye: Fine, but you have to take her to the clinic.

Emily: I like muskrats!
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #32 on: 23 Oct 2012, 11:01 »
Marten:  "A ritual for Dagon?  That's your answer for everything."
Faye:  "It's May Eve in Massachusetts and the lake's swarming with the larvae of the Deep Ones.  What do you think she's planning?"
Emily:  "Iä!  Iä!"
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #33 on: 23 Oct 2012, 11:20 »


Marten: I wish in the invitation she'd been more explicit than "a cookout" about this Iron Chef thing we're going to do.
Faye: <brandishes knife> I'm prepared.
Emily: Theme Ingredient: Muskrat! ALLEZ CUISINE!
« Last Edit: 23 Oct 2012, 11:30 by FunkyTuba »
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ChaosWolf

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #34 on: 23 Oct 2012, 11:58 »
Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 23 Oct 2012, 06:13
CLARIE:  So is there ANY part of you that's not "upgraded?"
CLINTON:   Asshole.

That an insult, or an explanation?
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MillionDollar Belt Sander

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #35 on: 23 Oct 2012, 12:05 »
Quote from: ChaosWolf on 23 Oct 2012, 11:58
Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 23 Oct 2012, 06:13
CLARIE:  So is there ANY part of you that's not "upgraded?"
CLINTON:   Asshole.

That an insult, or an explanation?

That's for the reader to decide.    8-)
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jwhouk

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #36 on: 23 Oct 2012, 14:21 »
MARTEN: "Think we ought to tell her the secret?"
FAYE: "I dunno. I think the Riversmith incident is for those who've been with the comic for over 100 strips."
EMILY: "Oh, Mr. Mulholland already told me about Ms. Corsetto."
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #37 on: 23 Oct 2012, 15:45 »
Quote from: ChaosWolf on 23 Oct 2012, 11:58
Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 23 Oct 2012, 06:13
CLARIE:  So is there ANY part of you that's not "upgraded?"
CLINTON:   Asshole.

That an insult, or an explanation?

That's the joke. And well played, too.
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Vurogj

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #38 on: 24 Oct 2012, 00:01 »
Marten : Can I borrow a 20?
Faye : First Sven, now Steve? What is it with you and butts?
Emily : Diseased rhymes with siezed, squeezed and teased!
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #39 on: 24 Oct 2012, 10:50 »
Faye: "Can I tell Marigold about the gamecube swimming in the lake?"

Marten: "Only if you tell her about the snapping turtles, too."

Emily: "I call the big one 'Bitey'."
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #40 on: 24 Oct 2012, 17:47 »
Marten: ... So, how do you reckon the comic will end for you?

Faye: Oh, that's easy. I'm gonna burn your apartment down again, then I'm gonna move back down south.

Marten: Sounds like a cheery prospect. What about Hannelore?

Faye: She's probably gonna turn out alright, if only by necessity.

Marten: The necessity of her friends being even more messed up than her?

Faye:  Pretty much. She's got a hell of a coping mechanism. What about you, Emily? How d'you reckon it'll end up for you?

Emily: Oh, I'm going to be the one who snaps and goes on a psychotic rampage! It's so easy to tell that I've already started picking out my serial killer mask and my axe! I'll be a mad axe murderer!
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Kugai

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #41 on: 24 Oct 2012, 21:54 »
Faye:  "Muskrat!!"
Marten:  "Muskrat Muskrat *sigh*"
Emily:  "Beaver,"
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ChaosWolf

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #42 on: 25 Oct 2012, 00:00 »
Quote from: Kugai on 24 Oct 2012, 21:54
Faye:  "Muskrat!!"
Marten:  "Muskrat Muskrat *sigh*"
Emily:  "Beaver,"

Save a tree, eat a beaver.
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MillionDollar Belt Sander

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #43 on: 25 Oct 2012, 09:35 »
MARTIN:   Wonder where Dora and Tai are...
FAYE:  Wouldn't it be funny if they were delayed by a couple of old nudist-hippies after making a wrong turn?
EMILY:   Oh, I see you've met the Johnsons as well.  Nice folks.
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iduguphergrave

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #44 on: 26 Oct 2012, 06:13 »
Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 25 Oct 2012, 09:35
EMILY:   Oh, I see you've met the Johnsons as well.  Nice folks.

I see what you did there

Since I posted the second image earlier than usual, I think we could do with a bonus image:



Hooray!

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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #45 on: 26 Oct 2012, 06:19 »
Hannelore: Look, you're just a voice in my head. If I'm going to get close enough to them to kill them all, you need to keep quiet for a little while.
Voice: Keep quiet? Keep quiet!? That's it, I'm bringing back the rapping penis!
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #46 on: 26 Oct 2012, 08:38 »
Hanners:  "Of course I respect you.  How many invisible, flying men do you think I know?  And after last night.."

Invisi-dude:  "You could at least keep you eyes above my neck when you say that."
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #47 on: 26 Oct 2012, 10:01 »
HANNERS: "We must never, ever speak of what we saw at that older couple's house on the other side of the lake."
INVISIBLE FLYER AI: "Take down the Facebook photo album, then?"
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #48 on: 26 Oct 2012, 10:12 »
Hannelore: You could always go hang out with Spaceship, or even Station...
Flyer: They're still mad at me over the "talking moon" prank I pulled last week.
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Re: QC Captions Vol. 85
« Reply #49 on: 26 Oct 2012, 11:05 »
Hannelore: "Look, I know Station was working on getting you that holoprojector, but it won't work inside her house."
Stealth AI: "But she has an iPhone or iPad, right? I can use that, can't I?"
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Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46
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