Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Things People Assume About You
LeeC:
people always assume I am happy and have friends... :psyduck:
LTK:
People sometimes assume I'm a foreign student like my friends, since I mostly hang out with non-Dutch fellow students. I put some effort in speaking English without a Dutch accent, so I don't mind. :-D
nekowafer:
People assume I'm some tough person, because of my piercings. The truth is that bugs make me squeal with terror and I hate needles.
Carl-E:
People assume I'm hard working. Actually, I'm pretty fucking lazy. And a procrastinator.
I'd better get some grading done...
The Seldom Killer:
People assume I'm clever/smart/intelligent etc. As in above average.
This has actually gone on a long time, since I was in school and in a way it fucked me up for quite a while. A lot of expectation was place on me to do things and achieve things mentally and academically etc. Thereafter when I didn't, I was construed as failing, not applying myself, letting myself down. I was also letting others down by not living up to what I was expected to be capable of. Of course when I heard all of this from parents, teachers, friends and other mentors I naturally believed it. No surprise really, it's what children do. So I tried harder. And failed harder. And the cycle perpetuated.
Of course I kept on believing that I was clever and had a hard time understanding why I was always failing, fucking up and getting nowhere. I got into this nasty pattern of being told I was smart, trying to operate at that level, failing, getting frustrated and depressed that I couldn't seem to be good at anything, self sabotaging.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, it took me a long time to work out that I simply wasn't smart and the reason people think I am is because I'm quick, mentally speaking (physically I'm a lumbering oaf). Trouble is, quick just gets you to the same point a bit faster than most people. Doesn't mean that point is any more right or insightful or enlightened. And then comes that moment when you're wrong, or ignorant or foolish and people trot out that cliche "C'mon, you're smart, you should know this already".
I'm not bad at spin either, telling people what they want to hear. It doesn't help though, so I try to do that a lot less.
It took me a while longer to get to a point where I was happy with who I am as well. Probably happier than I've ever been before, certainly more at peace.
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