Fun Stuff > MAKE

I'm a writer, but I like talking too.

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Loki:
To be honest, I didn't really like the -ame rhymes, and there are a few points where making the verse one syllable long or shorter would improve it for me, but I absolutely dig the "fill it with a hole" image.

Masterpiece:
Good rhymes are something that I still haven't figured out properly. I mean, I like them and all, but one stanza in my songs / poems always goes -ay -okay and so on.

Masterpiece:
So I tried turning this into a song...

Asterus:
Well, rhymes are something of a habit for me. At some point, it just clicked to the point where I rarely have to reword lines to go for another end word. Then again, I have a constant fear that this will become an actual habit, and I'll start repeating words. That, and I've been somewhat... creative with sentence structures on occasion.
Nice work with the vid ^.^. Wish I could sing -_-

Masterpiece:
Mister Medicine Man

Goodbye Irene
the cutest girl I’ve ever seen
Is there anything
I could've done to hear you sing?

Here comes the medicine man
saying stuff like “we’ve done everything we can”
and tries to save it with a deadpan joke
but all he does is choke

Does it really pain you to say that you have had it rough?
Do you really think that you have given her enough?
You say that life is tough.

But what have you done today?
Refused her treatment anyway
cause of politics and laws that you control

Mister Medicine Man
acts like he’s saving the world
but even if you could
I don’t think you would

To have or not to have
I think it’s weird that it’s the first thing you ask
It’s as if insurance cards mean hope -
you’re a fucking dope

Who gives you the right
to decide who lives and who just might
my little girl was putting up a fight
but thanks to you she died.

Does it really pain you to say that you have had it rough?
Do you really think that you have given her enough?
You say that life is tough.

But what have you done today?
Refused her treatment anyway
said her chances are so slim that there’s no point

Mister Medicine Man
stop trying to save the world
cause even if you would
I don’t think you should

To live or not to live
is that really all you can give?

=========

I also made a song of this.

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