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What seemed weird when I visited your country
Ben:
Having spent much of my life in countries where haggling is usual, it doesn't bother me at all. My daughter, even less so.
I don't tip in UK because (a) I don't find it makes any difference at all to service (b) I'm strongly opposed to the persistent attempts to introduce it as a scam by the owner (c) I'm just a skinflint
I tip in US because that what you do there
I usually follow the expat line that pestering Kemo Sabe fir baksheesh will get you nowhere, full stop.
GarandMarine:
--- Quote from: Akima on 03 Jun 2014, 20:31 ---
--- Quote from: Method of Madness on 03 Jun 2014, 19:21 ---Wait, why do you object to someone telling you their name? I'm pretty sure it wasn't your intention, but your post really comes off as "why is the help telling me its name?" in the worst possible way :|
--- End quote ---
Yes, I suppose it does :-(. I carry reactions based on my ancestral culture, which is much more formal and hierarchical than you are probably used to. Within the family, we refer to each other by our titles, not our names. I call my father "Father" (as is common in the West too, of course, although it might be "Dad"), but he calls me "Elder Daughter". Ones personal name is for close friends, so when a random stranger in a professional setting seems to want to assume the status of a friend, it feels intrusive, fake and manipulative. It's not a "the help" status thing, I think, because it grates in the same way when superiors in the workplace insist on using my personal name, and expect me to do the same to them. The boss is not my friend either.
--- End quote ---
I have similar issues with this though my family doesn't really use titles. (Dad's still "sir" though. Mom's just Mom.). It bothers me when my boss or boss's boss want me to call them by their first names. I usually settle by calling them "boss" or something similar with a more informal feel then sir or ma'am. Like chief. It's a work around, but one that frustrates me. My part time staff are sure as shit not calling me by my first name. I'm your employer, not your buddy. If you're full time that might change.
Method of Madness:
See, I kind of find it funny, because people who know me to pretty much any degree call me Eric. But my closest friends? Those are the ones that call me by my last name! Also, I find it depressing when someone says that "x is not my friend" in a context where you don't have a reason to dislike x. Why isn't x your friend? Why can't they be your friend for a little while? Not having everyone be your friend to some degree by default sounds like an awful way to live.
So Akima, do you expect people to call you just by your surname, or do you wish them to add "Ms." in front of it? Because calling someone by just their surname seems extremely familiar, but that's probably how you feel about just using a given name.
LTK:
It can vary within countries as well. I was so surprised to hear a girl I knew address her mother with the formal personal pronoun, which is usually used for unknown elders or teachers and the like. At university everything's back to being informal, though.
Neko_Ali:
The boss/friend dynamic can be difficult for people to separate, at least in the US. I mean, I never had a problem with it.. Work and leisure time are separate things. Some of it is cultural stereotyping. It's all over media, the adversarial relationship between employee and employer. The latter of which doesn't want to be there and does the least possible to get by, while 'the man' is trying to force extra onto you. It's a horrible work ethic that has to much basis in reality. When you have bosses who are friends, then the theory goes they are supposed to let you slide and get away with more, which just makes things bad all around. So the typical thing is, 'I am your boss, not your friend.' to avoid any accusations of nepotism.
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