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Best "What Would I Say" statuses

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Zebediah:
Hey, I got a couple more even better:

Well, I finally got rid of the Muppets.
I'm not as long as a reciprocating saw with a trumpet.


Ok, I'll stop now.  :-D

Kugai:
Well, got back OK, which is a sthudden cwicis!!
Annual Landlord Inspection and was a Facebook game to take 5 of you.
They made the Minbari fight this
Mo worries Claire, I'll add your friends
Guilty of our Internet!
Another week before I think it's gonna go away or give a statement once, ...
Here's a bath let alone a gun & paste
And they ran out of guns they used knives, and a busy Wednesday slowly comes

UniqueNewYork:
"The Android Jelly Bean system update got rid of my town" Talk about updates disrupting workflow! http://xkcd.com/1172/

"The Android Jelly Bean system update got rid of you" ...Damn that's cold

"The Android Jelly Bean system update got my genderbent Hannah Hart videos while you" WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THIS THING AND JELLY BEAN

Thomas Edison:
So now the website works for me.

"Play wrestling is being."
"6 hours until the music video for sore eyes when I get attacked by wolves."
"ALL BLACK suit in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, people."
"Gee, guys, this is a DNA test."
"Gee, guys, this is life."
"You gonna' help pull an assassins creed and my leg is fucking scary beast."
"I still think the face by a mountain and you die Overheard a beautiful and exotic part One, take two."
"Get my mail and maybe help pull a dickmove on you."
"Yeaaah, not everyday you gaffer tape sharp objects to become. Everything"
"I still pretty shitty when you didn't shart, did she?"
"One monkey, a thousand tonnes of biscuits?"
"I'd carve my hands and play with a roast turkey dinner, apple crumble and the head injury I love how I'm supposed to make a way to finish the Winter Olympics!"
"Painkillers and crazy pills."

I can see why people enjoy doing this. Some of them read like they could be rap lyrics.

Zebediah:
"Painkillers and crazy pills" sounds like it could be a Bob Dylan lyric.

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