Topic: QC Captions Vol. 140 (Read 8612 times)

iduguphergrave · « **on:** 10 Nov 2013, 15:44 »

Good evening! Let's do it:

Enjoy!!!

cesium133 · « **Reply #1 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 15:56 »

I guess I'll try the "random quote" thing...

Emily: ...So when I realized he was using the Alphabet Trick on me, I was like "that's right, spell my name, bitch!"
Marten: Hah! I woulda been like "sure thing, baby, just lemme get this condom on and I'll do it in Morse code."
Momo: I don't think that would be very enjoyable. Even if you did my full name, it'd just be a few seconds of arrhythmic thrusting and then you're done.

edit -- another one:
Emily: Oh, I-- I'm sorry, I...
Marten: Will you be my new mommy?
Momo: Today just keeps getting better and better.

Zebediah · « **Reply #2 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 16:03 »

A random caption from #1102:

Emily: Wait a minute, am I giving you a pep talk about girls? What the fuck?
Marten: Welcome to Bizarro World. Let's all grow some goatees.
Momo: I can't, I'm a girl.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #3 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 17:05 »

Emily: I'm getting myself modified so my hair color changes when you press my belly button.
Marten: Go for it! What colors are you getting?
Momo: Another case of the privileged appropriating my culture.

DSL · « **Reply #4 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 18:48 »

EMILY: "Alright, alright, Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck, Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy?"

MARTEN: "If I could only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy-Pez. Cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it."

MOMO: "I knew that $64,000 question was rigged. No way anyone knows that much about opera."

Mmeaninglessnamee · « **Reply #5 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 21:15 »

Now I want to try a random caption too. This one ended up fitting sorta-well with Marten's pose and expression. (from the last panel of 396)

Emily: Fiscal responsibility is boring. I demand instant gratification.

Marten: Instant gratification? Okay, just gimme a second to limber up and get naked.

Momo: I'll help! Initialize vibration mode!

jwhouk · « **Reply #6 on:** 10 Nov 2013, 22:55 »

Emily: "You'd EMPLOY a violent psychopath?"
Marten: "This is the US Government we're talking about."
Momo: "Point taken."

(#750, last panel)

Mr_Rose · « **Reply #7 on:** 11 Nov 2013, 01:44 »

Emily: "Have you noticed that Momo's speech bubbles are all straight edges and sharp corners?"
Marten: "Yeah, I reckon it's because she's such a square."
Momo: "One: that was terrible, five for the pun jar please. And two: it's because my voice is synthesised you jerks."

DSL · « **Reply #8 on:** 11 Nov 2013, 05:59 »

The pun jar cannot be defeated.

Thrudd · « **Reply #9 on:** 11 Nov 2013, 12:28 »

Of course it can't since it has no feet but it is open to review since it is a jar.

[owie]

FunkyTuba · « **Reply #10 on:** 11 Nov 2013, 13:45 »

Emily: Robo-Hovercar!
Marten: Hobo-Rovercar!
Momo: Even if he's a hobo robot with a car, I'm STILL not making out with him!

Skewbrow · « **Reply #11 on:** 11 Nov 2013, 14:02 »

Emily: "... so Claire and her brother are secretly transformers. I think we should be nice to them and not tell anybody. She told me she even had problems figuring out who she is."
Marten: "I think she knows who she is all right. It's just the war within."
Momo: "Marten. Please."

~~RightInTheSquishyParts~~ · « **Reply #12 on:** 11 Nov 2013, 18:34 »

Em: "I'm ex-miltary, they trusted me with all kinds of secrets and I didn't tell a soul."
Ma: "Ex-military? Is that why you decided to give peas a chance?"
Mo: "I really regret not having that head-cannon module installed."

techkid · « **Reply #13 on:** 12 Nov 2013, 03:23 »

Emily: "I still don't get why 'Give peas a chance' is still a thing."
Marten: "Don't worry about it. Check out 'War and Peas', it's a pretty good read."
Momo: "I am going to get that Tolstoy piece off the shelf, and club you with all 1,225 pages of it."

~~cesariojpn~~ · « **Reply #14 on:** 12 Nov 2013, 04:37 »

Emily: So, Momo could shoot eels in her previous body? How far?
Marten: We never knew cause of a little technicality.
Momo: I told you never to mention that. Ever.

Thrudd · « **Reply #15 on:** 12 Nov 2013, 11:02 »

Emily: So, you sacked the cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker?
Marten: The second cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker I've sacked since the sixth sitting sheet slitter got sick.
Momo: Why am I stuck with Tweedledum and Tweedledumer?

~~RightInTheSquishyParts~~ · « **Reply #16 on:** 12 Nov 2013, 11:18 »

Em: So is it just me or did the coffee taste a bit humpy today?
Mar: Eh, more than likely just a large spider got caught in the roaster.
Mo: Stay off of youtube if you value your sanity -- good GOD Pintsize.

Platypodes · « **Reply #17 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 00:07 »

Em: B-but why hasn't the maintenance department ever done anything about the bibliodons?
Ma: Well, they tried, but when the last bunch of exterminators they hired got ripped to shreds, a lot of books got ruined by the spattered blood, so...
Mo: If all the interns end up afraid to go into the stacks, you can be the one to do all the shelving.

cesium133 · « **Reply #18 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 07:55 »

Quote from: techkid on 12 Nov 2013, 03:23

Emily: "I still don't get why 'Give peas a chance' is still a thing."
Marten: "Don't worry about it. Check out 'War and Peas', it's a pretty good read."
Momo: "I am going to get that Tolstoy peas off the shelf, and club you with all 1,225 pages of it."

Sorry.

iduguphergrave · « **Reply #19 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 16:05 »

huhfsuefhsurfkufgfgfusd MOVING ON

cesium133 · « **Reply #20 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 16:09 »

Marigold: All he did was hold my hand. That's all.
Hannelore: So, uh, that makes you a woman of a small speck of interstellar dust?

Zebediah · « **Reply #21 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 16:14 »

Marigold: Are you so interested in my alleged love life because you genuinely care about me as a friend or because you're a shameless voyeur?
Hannelore: ...Can it be both?

cesium133 · « **Reply #22 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 16:22 »

From a random comic (1450)

Marigold: Dude, what the hell were you thinking?
Hannelore: I hoped it would make my "gauss-rifle cock" idea seem more reasonable in comparison.

DSL · « **Reply #23 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 16:52 »

MARIGOLD: "A hot flash? You're not OLD ENOUGH for hot flashes."
HANNELORE: "You don't know how long I spent in that cryo tank!"

EDIT/ADD -- Guess I'll try this random thing.

MARIGOLD: "You know, I was wondering why he was still single, but now I think I understand."
HANNELORE: "He's like an incontinent kitten. Endearing, but you don't want it on top of you."

~~RightInTheSquishyParts~~ · « **Reply #24 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 17:30 »

Hanners: I'm glad to hear your quest to become completely unattractive is going so well. All you need now is a good case of head-lice. You'll be all set!
Marigold: Being filthy is way hardcore!
EDIT: #248

Schmee · « **Reply #25 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 18:09 »

Mar: I... I might've touched his weiner.
Hanners: GASP

WAYF · « **Reply #26 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 18:22 »

Hannelore: Marigold, he was TRYING to FLIRT with you.
Marigold: Well, he wasn't very good at it!

DSL · « **Reply #27 on:** 13 Nov 2013, 20:08 »

Well, I'll randomize some more.

MARIGOLD: "I had no idea zero-g badminton could be so strenuous."
HANNELORE: "It's quite a workout!"

Oh wait, this one:

MARIGOLD: "Are ... are you trying to grab my ass?"
HANNELORE: "What? Being your friend doesn't grant me ass-grabbing privileges?"

Storel · « **Reply #28 on:** 14 Nov 2013, 01:40 »

Hmm, it's harder than I thought to find a good caption in a random comic.

Well, let's try this one:

Marigold: OH MY GOD YOU ARE GONNA BE SO HOT WHEN YOU GO GRAY
Hanners: blergh

DSL · « **Reply #29 on:** 14 Nov 2013, 06:48 »

What the hell, why not?

MARIGOLD: "Is she always this ornery?"
HANNELORE: "Pretty much. Faye is like an alcoholic porcupine. Prickly and reeking of booze."

No, THIS one:

MARIGOLD: "Man, I knew Faye and Angus were a thing, but knowin' they're sleeping with each other ... really hits it home. I really am genuinely happy for them, though. That feels good. I mean, I didn't think I WOULD be jealous or resentful or whatever, but it's nice to know for sure that I'm not that kind of [girl]. I'm glad I didn't get all weird about Faye 'cause I'm single [for] now. It's great that we really are just friends and -- "
HANNELORE: "WOULD YOU PLEASE TURN DOWN THE INTROSPECTION I AM TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP"

jwhouk · « **Reply #30 on:** 14 Nov 2013, 07:10 »

MARIGOLD: "I might say the same thing about you."
HANNERS: "No way, once you get past my smirking remarks you have to negotiate the spike pit, and after the spike pit is the laser cave."

(Random Strip is Random)

Dr. Desperate · « **Reply #31 on:** 14 Nov 2013, 09:12 »

Going the random route produced this quote from way back in comic 802. Not inappropriate, I thought.

MARBEAR: Actually, googling my name would be okay. I use an alias for...nevermind.

HANNERS: I...want to know, but at the same time I have a strong suspicion that I really, really DON'T want to know.

Skewbrow · « **Reply #32 on:** 14 Nov 2013, 09:31 »

Not entirely random

Hannelore: "My karaoke was a hit. Just like this random comic caption thing on the forum."
Marigold: "Typical hipsters. Always jumping on the latest trend."

DSL · « **Reply #33 on:** 14 Nov 2013, 10:02 »

MARIGOLD: "You guys have hired people with some unusual names."
HANNELORE: "You mean funny names?"
MARIGOLD: "Yes. For example, Who's running the cash register, What's running the espresso machine, and I Don't Know is roasting beans down in the Spider Zone."
HANNELORE: "Stop. Just stop."

DSL · « **Reply #34 on:** 14 Nov 2013, 15:17 »

Quote from: Skewbrow on 14 Nov 2013, 09:31

Not entirely random

Hannelore: "My karaoke was a hit. Just like this random comic caption thing on the forum."
Marigold: "Typical hipsters. Always jumping on the latest trend."

I'll have you know, good gentlebeing, I was hating things for being popular long before it got all popular.

Carl-E · « **Reply #35 on:** 14 Nov 2013, 18:28 »

The only difference between a crank and a hipster is age...

Skewbrow · « **Reply #36 on:** 14 Nov 2013, 21:19 »

Duly noted.

Quote from: Carl-E on 14 Nov 2013, 18:28

The only difference between a crank and a hipster is age...

One of my former gradute students is in the habit of picking on me. Part of the game is for us to feed each other, so (as he has called me an aged hipster occasionally) I confided to him that Carl-E's comment hit uncomfortably close. His reply was that "You are such an easy/large target that it is near impossible to miss you."

Border Reiver · « **Reply #37 on:** 15 Nov 2013, 03:45 »

Now get off my lawn!

jwhouk · « **Reply #38 on:** 15 Nov 2013, 04:10 »

HANNERS: "I don't know how to - "
MARIGOLD: "JUST NOD YOUR HEAD AND PRETEND TO CLICK THINGS"

(Randomness)

Thrudd · « **Reply #39 on:** 15 Nov 2013, 06:40 »

HANNERS: I want you to randomly change the quote, so that we are not followed.
MARIGOLD: Randomly? Gee I don't know.
HANNERS: Trust me, you excel at random.

Loki · « **Reply #40 on:** 17 Nov 2013, 00:25 »

Quote from: Zebediah on 13 Nov 2013, 16:14

Marigold: Are you so interested in my alleged love life because you genuinely care about me as a friend or because you're a shameless voyeur?
Hannelore: ...Can it be both?

Nice callback!

questionablydiscontent · « **Reply #41 on:** 17 Nov 2013, 11:33 »

Quote from: DSL on 14 Nov 2013, 06:48

MARIGOLD: "Man, I knew Faye and Angus were a thing, but knowin' they're sleeping with each other ... really hits it home. I really am genuinely happy for them, though. That feels good. I mean, I didn't think I WOULD be jealous or resentful or whatever, but it's nice to know for sure that I'm not that kind of [girl]. I'm glad I didn't get all weird about Faye 'cause I'm single [for] now. It's great that we really are just friends and -- "
HANNELORE: "WOULD YOU PLEASE TURN DOWN THE INTROSPECTION I AM TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP"

The Marigold quote's not bad... The "really are just friends" could refer to Angus, and being "all weird about Faye" could be envy of Faye for having a relationship with Angus... I could see how it fits. Sort of.
My random comic (1669) produced a similar type of if-you-think-about-it-it-kinda-fits-sorta-kinda-if-you-squint-your-ears result...
Except the questionable relevance is for Hannelore instead of Marigold.

MARIGOLD (to Marten): Come ON, Marten, get in here and stick your cock in me already!
HANNELORE (to Marigold): Christ, woman, we're tryin' to have a moment of friendship here! You can have his cock in a minute!

So I guess Marigold is trying so hard to get out of the "moment of friendship" she's... uh (I stammer because I'm a virgin)... asking Marten for sexual favors?

KOK · « **Reply #42 on:** 17 Nov 2013, 12:06 »

I just can't imagine Hannelore saying "Christ".

questionablydiscontent · « **Reply #43 on:** 25 Nov 2013, 12:11 »

It is pretty out-of-character. But imagine she's Hannelore's twin sister with a bad southern accent.

Thrudd · « **Reply #44 on:** 25 Nov 2013, 12:51 »

MARIGOLD: Pull it out already!
HANNERS: Here in the shop?

(click to show/hide)

DSL · « **Reply #45 on:** 26 Nov 2013, 08:25 »

MARIGOLD: "Get yer mind out of the gutter. We microwaved space hot dogs in the space microwave and I couldn't find the tongs."
HANNERS: "You touched his food? EWWWWW."

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: QC Captions Vol. 140 (Read 8612 times)