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[Lines]

Jodie, I think you'll be able to skate soon enough, but I don't think you'll be able to smash bitches. :c But at least you can wear your wheely shoes and not get squishy?

[jodizzle]

Our next bout is in March.  If I have to miss that one too I am stabbing the girl who broke me!

[Lines]

I would stab her, too. I mean, that's the spirit of derby! There must be stabbings for breakings!

[David_Dovey]

I hate to say this Jodie dear but it probably will be months? The collarbone is a notoriously poor healer






don't stab me

[Barmymoo]

dammit guys I don't want to do this shit alone, I need someone here to help me do all the stuff that's apparently necessary for leaving uni, like packing up my entire life in one day, and emailing or visiting every single person I've ever made a commitment to do something for (and my word are there a lot of those) and coordinating things when all I want to do is sleep for weeks and weeks. I don't even want to get out of bed but thankfully I have friends who force me to get up so that I am actually able to do some of this stuff.

WHY AM I HAVING TO DO THIS WHEN I AM SO TIRED.

[Eris]

I wish I would get over this whole "get so nervous about going to work that I feel like I am going to vomit" deal. I would actually like to eat something today, but just thinking about that makes my stomach roll. I am only working for 3.5 hours today, I have done two full 8 hour shifts where nothing went wrong, and I won't be working by myself anyway, so there shouldn't be anything to worry about!


Stop making me feel ill, brain!

[tania]

i have a 20 page paper due in about two weeks. the professor i am writing the paper for is out of town indefinitely due to a death in the family. while i completely sympathize, this is also pretty lousy timing because he's been out of town all month and i don't actually know what i am supposed to be writing about and i desperately need him to go over this paper and tell me i am doing the right thing because these guidelines are really vague, except obviously he can't do that, and time is running out fast and i pretty much have to start writing no matter what except i also don't want to write a 20 page paper and find out at the last minute that i now have to rewrite that paper because i did it incorrectly so essentially the last four days have been possibly the world's most pathetic demonstration in writing anywhere from 12 to 14  hours a day of pure nothing. i really hope i get some kind of extension on this.

[tania]

also it has been raining all month which presents a sort of struggle re: fitness because i have to consistently check hourly weather patterns to find 60 minute spots here and there of mild to no rain where i can get in a good run. all day it has been raining pretty hard but a little while ago it got a lot lighter and i got super excited because i thought maybe it had finally stopped raining for the day and i spent the last 45 minutes frantically drying my rain-soaked running clothes with a hairdryer because i don't have a real clothes dryer only to find upon finishing that it is raining really hard again. you suck, vancouver

[BrittanyMarie]

i am a little bit surprised your school doesn't have some sort of free fitness facility for students. running indoors is at least preferable to not running, right?

[tania]

it does, but there's a bunch of reasons why i really dislike the gym at school (takes me an hour to get there and another hour to get back home, gym is always super packed except for the wee hours of the morning, cardio machines are limited to 30 minute intervals due to aforementioned busyness whereas i like to run for at least an hour) so i try not to use it for anything except a last resort. tomorrow's supposed to be clear so i guess i'll make it up then.

[A Wet Helmet]

I've been making chili and drinking Gulden Draak all day.   Honestly, I should never bitch about my life, like, ever.

[snalin]

I would stab her, too. I mean, that's the spirit of derby! There must be stabbings for breakings!

To those of you who get the reference, I'm going to blatantly rip of Games Workshop and make Blood Derby right now.

I've long ago realized that I'm a hopeless fanboy at times, so it came as no surprise to me that I loved Towers of Midnight. I like the pace this series has towards the end (both in the actual books, and in the releases). I'm going to be sad when this is over, WoT has been a central part of my reading experience since... ever (remember that I'm only nineteen, I was born 16 days after the second book had released). With Ensemble Studios (Age of Empires) having closed down years ago, this is the only piece of culture that has been with me for as long as I can remember, other music, books, movies and games has passed by , or I can remember discovering them for the first time. I can't remember anything more than vague recollections from discovering the magic world of Randland, and after some time "early 2012", what'll be the release of a okayish series ending to most of you will be the ending of the last part of my childhood. It'll be missed.


In regards to my real life - I've just learned the last thing we'll learn in programming before the exams, namely writing and reading stuff from files, instead of having everything embedded inside the code. I've realized lately that the old Greek philosophers would've loved programming - especially Pythagoras and the rest of the "everything is maths hurrf durrf" crowd - programming is pure applied logic, a world that unlike our own is completely knowable, perfectly understandable, because we created it. Of course, they would probably be unimpressed with video games and would tell me to go achieve greater understanding by programming directly onto the hardware (they would love this guy), but it's still a good feeling to know that I'm working on something that can never, ever be challenged as something that's irrelevant, not real, or simply not science. It's safe, and warm, and fuzzy. When my code doesn't compile or run, it's because of logic, stuff that can be found, and fixed. There are no problems that I cannot, with time and patience and willpower, figure out. I think this'll be a good life. Unless, you know, shit like this doesn't become more common, although it seems that that's a real possibility. Then I'll have regretted skipping the army, although I'm afraid shit like that'll come from the army before it comes from anywhere else.

[jhocking]

they would love this guy

That reminds me of Castle Turing from Diamond Age.

[StaedlerMars]

Actually, there are, and always will be, bugs in your compiler, so it's possible that what you write doesn't work just because your compiler has a bug. I don't know the exact number but apparently there hasn't been a proven correct compiler since the late 80s.

[snalin]

well, yes, sure, but that's a bug, and it can be fixed. Unlike any of the other subjects that interested me (politics, religion, sociology, etc.) where certain truths isn't possible.

[BlahBlah]

just use ML for everything yeah

[Alex C]

I hate to say this Jodie dear but it probably will be months? The collarbone is a notoriously poor healer

Yeah, it's one of those bones that's a bitch to immobilize. Football players who break their collarbones are generally out for 10-12 weeks minimum, and they're the sort of people who will quite happily tackle someone while having their arm in a cast.

[Slick]

Jodie man I know what is like to have this injury that is keeping you from doing that thing that is what you love. Biking through knee-pain did not do me any favours, though, so I hope you can be the best at not disturbing your bones so you can get back at it as quick as possible.
What helped for me was to spin it in my head as 'not biking and instead doing stretches and glute exercises will make me such a better cyclist later oh man this is such great stuff I am doing I am going to be the best at this because I am doing my exercises and not doing things that aggravate my knees even though I really want to'.

[Jace]

I own a car now.

[scarred]

pics or it didn't happen

[JD]

Some of our incoming mail gets sent to Botswana, then gets redirected to us. It's really weird.

[Jimmy the Squid]

So my brother's drinking has gotten really bad lately. I haven't seen him sober for the last few days and this is keeping in mind that we work together. He's basically become a massive alcoholic and I really don't know what to do about it. Now that I think about it he's always been a heavy and near constant drinker, it's just that when he was really overweight he could absorb that alcohol really easily and he was always a very high functioning drunk. Now that he's lost about 40kgs (90lbs), he still drinks the same amount that he used to but he'll be falling down drunk extremely quickly. I've tried to talk to him and I know that he's really depressed but he refuses to do anything to help himself because he thinks that his problems are stupid and irrelevant. Our dad is trying to get him to go see a psychologist (which I think is a great idea) but my brother just keeps being an arse about it and avoids the issue. It shits me because everytime he gets drunk at my place he ends up crying and telling me how much he loves me and how he'd kill himself if I wasn't in his life and how he respects me so much and I know it's all bullshit because if he actually respected me then he would fucking listen to me even occasionally instead of constantly acting like a cunt bucket.
It's getting to the point where I don't want to spend any time with him because even when I invite him over to play video games or watch movies he has to hit the liquor store before hand and drink an entire bottle of scotch and a six-pack of beer in a night. The one time I took the bottle away when he went to the toilet he spent half an hour slurring at me about how if anyone ever took his drink away he would beat them to death but that he wouldn't this time because we're brothers. He found the bottle and finished it after I went to bed.

He's also arranged to try out for my band on tuesday (we have been lacking a rhythm guitarist for like, a year now) and frankly I want to turn him down regardless of how good a musician he is because I don't want to spend time with him anymore.

[Slick]

You know what blows? When depressed alcoholics talk about wanting to kill themselves. Man that fucking blows. Blows huge.

edit to strike unnecessary remarks

[snalin]

And then you should dump him to get the point across. As in "you're not going to be a part of my life as long as you are drinking". That would probably be the best thing for both of you.

[Slick]

not that in any way are we here to tell you how to deal with your personal life of course.

[Patrick]

Dude, Slick-James, from personal experience and from talking to my psychiatrist, you don't have half a goddamn clue what you're talking about. Saying things like "You're a fuckup and you should sack up and deal with your shit before it becomes impossible" does absolutely NOTHING to help. And to be honest? After 3 years of that same shit from you, from my meat-life friends, and from some others on the forums, it only made my depression worse. I wound up attempting suicide and going to a mental hospital ER and got put on suicide watch in a room full of absolute crazies for the longest night of my entire life. And it wasn't anybody's fault here, and not the fault of my meat-life friends, but it definitely did not help. And it will not help Squiddy-James's brother.

So hey, people, a word of advice. If you don't understand the reasons people feel suicidal, and if your only advice is "Sack up", don't give advice. Because you know what? You're doing it wrong. You don't understand what is happening in the minds of suicidal people. When you're suicidal, you don't think the way normal people do. You don't think, "Hey, this is a simple problem. All I have to do is ________ and everything is gravy!"

Instead, your inner monologue says nothing but, "Fuck. Fuck man! I can't do anything right. I mean yeah this one thing I did turned out okay but everything else in the world is completely wrong. Totally, completely wrong. And there's nothing I can do to fix it, because there's just more things that will go wrong. And the only way I'm ever going to be at peace is if I am dead and gone forever."

If you are not trained in handling suicide, you shouldn't give advice on handle suicide. Sure, YOU may feel confident you're giving good advice. But man, fuck you, that's gambling a lot. That's gambling with a human life. Squiddy-James's brother may be handling his problems in exceedingly poor ways, but his life is one worth saving.

Go find some real resources to help yr brother with. Don't ask some dude online who doesn't know what he's talking about.

[allison]

Coming from a family of alcoholics, Jimmy, I can only tell you that you can't try and fix this. It will only make you hurt worse. You can tell your brother how you are feeling, and that you want to support him in getting better, but he has to make the step himself. He will only get help once he wants help. We will be here to support you through it too. Sorry you're having a rough time, I wish I could say something more useful.

[Slick]

I never meant to say that saying sack up is what would fix it. What jimmy said right there reminded me a lot of some things which prompted my reaction.
In retrospect I have no desire to say anything too coloured from my own experiences.

[Graphite]

Patrick, as a person who has been suicidal, can you make any suggestions about things friends/family/doctors said that helped you get on the way to recovery? A really wonderful guy from uni committed suicide recently, and everyone was pretty deeply devastated, and it would be good to know what kinds of things might help friends who are feeling that way, apart from the obvious "I really care about you, and don't think you're a hopeless fuckup, and would like to see you get help". (Also, would it have helped you if a friend had - after asking you for permission - made an appointment for you at a counsellor and made sure you got there?)
Jimmy, that sounds like a deeply awful situation. I hope your brother gets help really soon.

Blog thread, on Thursday I'm going to be a simulated patient at my uni! I will be pretending to be a woman with a mild learning disability who wants to go on the Pill, and also a person who has taken amphetamines at a party and is still affected the next day. I am pretty nervous about the second one because I have never to my knowledge seen a person in real life who's under the influence of amphetamines for a prolonged period, so I will need to maybe watch some youtube and ask some people who have been to more parties incorporating drug use than I have.
In a couple of weeks I will have the much more fun role of a jail nurse, of the Nurse Ratchett stripe, at a jailhouse-themed Christmas party. Random acting jobs are awesome.

[tania]

there's no universal answer that applies to all suicidal people, but a good ground rule is to NEVER assume you can just jump in and fix their problem. while i am sure you might have the best of intentions, patrick is right in that, no offense, you probably have no idea what the fuck they are going through or how they are feeling, especially since a lot of it is probably the result of extreme irrationality and cognitive distortion - not to trivialize suicidal people or call them crazy, it is just really important to understand how badly severe depression can utterly fuck up your perception of reality.

in my experience from counseling, however, the most common factor in extremely depressed people seems to be loneliness or a perceived lack of understanding in some form or another. therefore, before you do or say anything, you need to establish some sort of rapport based on understanding and acceptance. before you can do that - and this is important - shut the fuck up and let them talk. that's it. withhold any and all desires to intervene and take control over their lives and instead be completely and utterly open and caring and nonjudgmental. you might think you know what is going on in their lives or what is best for them but actually you have no fucking idea so you better just be quiet and let them explain it to you instead. once you have enough information and you feel like they can trust you, if you feel ready you can then take the next step and try to come up with an action plan that might prevent any sort of immediate risk. one technique we used to use was to ask, with absolutely no pressure whatsoever, if we could draft up an agreement where the client agreed that they wouldn't kill themselves that night and that they would agree to come in again the next day to talk some more instead - no trying to control their lives, no telling them what's best for them, no threats, just listening and support followed by a simple contract that we could both agree on. cooperation and respect and understanding are absolutely key, trying to control their lives or tell them you know what's best is NOT okay. honestly, depending on the situation it might not even be a bad idea to ask someone who seems like they're at risk if they've been thinking about suicide, because sometimes people who are thinking about it really do want help but are just scared to bring it up for fear of judgment or the aforementioned interventions. it really depends on the individual.

[Lines]

I am the worst student ever oh god why did I procrastinate on this paper so long UGH it's just a freaking first draft and it makes me want to claw my face off WHYCAN'TIJUSTFINISHTHEDAMNCONCLUSION I have to email this in an hour. Fuck.

[Elizzybeth]

one technique we used to use was to ask, with absolutely no pressure whatsoever, if we could draft up an agreement where the client agreed that they wouldn't kill themselves that night and that they would agree to come in again the next day to talk some more instead - no trying to control their lives, no telling them what's best for them, no threats, just listening and support followed by a simple contract that we could both agree on.

Not to cast aspersions on you, of course, but it's worth noting that my mother attempted suicide (took, like, 40 sleeping pills) after signing one of these contracts with her therapist and after promising my dad (who had stayed home from work to be with her for a week) that if he went to work she would not kill herself.  She was under the care of both a psychiatrist and a therapist; she was on "suicide watch"; she was seeming more with it than she had for the previous two weeks.

If someone is determined to commit suicide, sometimes it is impossible to prevent and you cannot feel guilty about it.  This does not mean that you cannot gently encourage someone to get the help they need.

Also offering my sympathy, Jimmy.

[Patrick]

I can't really give any advice on how to get Squiddy-James's brother the help he needs. Only reason I'm alive still is because my already-drunk ass told my friend what I was doing and she called the police and gave them my address. One thing you can do is be real with him. Tell him you don't understand why he feels the way he feels about his life, but that you're his brother and that you want to help him get on track for a happier, better life. A life that he feels is worthwhile. One he can be proud to call his own. You'd be surprised what can happen when you wax poetic when offering help.

Also, Slick-James, I would like to apologize for my very blunt delivery in my last post. It was dickish and uncalled for, although on the bright side of it, I apparently delivered my message really clearly. As explanation, I'd like to say that I'm very sensitive on the topic, and I feel like it's my responsibility to set the record straight. I'll also add that I'm no more qualified to give advice on helping suicidal people than you are. Also, as many of you know, I get carried away. With everything.

DEAR BLAG,

Oh god work sucked. Got asked last-minute if I could stay until 1am (I was scheduled for 530p-830p). Got stiffed on getting a lift from a friend, so I had to literally sprint the two miles there, since my bike's still got a detached front wheel that I can't fix with one hand. Got stuck with shitloads of manual labor, despite it being common knowledge at work that my wrist is fuxx0red. Then I couldn't get a ride home from anybody. And to top it off, my girlfriend's in Berkeley visiting her mom and sister, so I get no snuggles tonight. All of the above will repeat tomorrow, as I've been asked to work from 730p to 2a.

On the upside, the fact that I'm getting double the hours I usually get means that I will have a decent paycheck this time. And everybody's got double hours (and then some!) on the week before Black Friday. And this doubletime shit is gonna last until early January. If all goes well, I'll be able to afford a used car by year's end. And that's without the assistance my mom's offering for that.

Downside to that is that I'll basically not see my friends or my girlfriend until January. But every last one of them is going to be going through the exact same thing. So there's really not much to be done about that, just let work occupy my mind and get whatever time I can with my buddies until the world slows down again.

Love,
Me!

[Eris]

Oh jimmy, that is really shit. I know how you are feeling and it is shit and I don't know what to say that could make you feel any better.


Hug?

[Barmymoo]

I just got some information sent to me about taking a year off uni and it seems to be saying that I should be returning at the start of next year (yay!) but that I'll have to pay for that term's fees myself because Student Loans are only prepared to pay for the nine terms that my degree is meant to last. This contradicts what I've been told by other people, so I am going to have to look into it more closely - whilst hiding it from my parents, because this is not going to change the fact that I need to leave, but they would worry and stress about it. I do have enough money to pay for that term, but it is a fairly large amount of money so it's a bit irritating that I'd have to pay it up front. Ah well. I guess I'm discovering how much my health is worth to me?

[schimmy]

I have a friend who dropped out of one uni part way through his second year, and started a new degree at a different university. He's told me (and a few other people - including my mother who works in HE - have agreed with this) that the student loans company will, providing you're doing normal three year degrees, give you loans for a maximum of four years. So he's in the position of having to pay for one of the years of his new degree upfront. I guess you'd be in that position, too?

Still, things could be a hell of a lot worse. Another friend of mine is studying his whole degree in England, but he's from Lithuania, and as a result has to pay every year up front, with no help at all from the student loans company. God knows how anyone can afford to do something like that.

[Barmymoo]

The thing is I'm not dropping out, or changing unis - my uni is disregarding the four weeks of term I've completed of this year, and I'll do the remaining two years as usual. So in total I will only be at uni for four years, including this year. I've also heard that SL will give you loans for four years if you're doing a three year degree so it sounded weird that I'd have to pay for one year myself.

However, I went to ask the accounts manager of my college who says that she doesn't think that's the case at all - the SL have already paid for this year and will just ask for two terms' worth back, and I'll have to repay the extra term's loan with the rest as usual. I hope that's the case...

I'm now doing some last-minute panto props hunting. I've been rather left out of the loop since I'm not technically involved any more, and the girl who has taken over is very competent and is currently organising things tidily, but I still feel a bit responsible for things getting done. I just need to focus on the things I've said I'll do and not worry about the other things!

[Scandanavian War Machine]

oh hey guys what did you do over the weekend? yeah, that's cool, I guess. Oh, me? I puked for 12 hours straight! it was way cooler than whatever you did.

that was the first time I've been legitimately and extremely sick without my mom there to take care of me. It was horrible.


Also, it caused me to miss the new episode The Walking Dead which is really lame.

[valley_parade]

I mowed the lawn and raked leaves, Dan.

Only slightly better than throwing up. Though, I have had the sniffles today.

[Lunchbox]

that was the first time I've been legitimately and extremely sick without my mom there to take care of me. It was horrible.

The first time you experience this, it is the saddest thing.
I hope you feel better!

[Lunchbox]

Also hey guys,

I have been doing my Christmas shopping online, I am totally set for my Mum and my boyfriend and my grandparents and his parents. Hopefully. If they eventually get here. Woo! This is way easier than dragging my ass out to the shops, why didn't I do it before?
Now I just have to find something for my brother. What do unemployed loser 23 year olds like? Also, what should I get for his 2yo baby boy? I have never bought a baby presents before and that kid seems to have way too many toys.

I also don't think our house has a Christmas tree. We had one last year but then we moved and got rid of a lot of stuff. I don't want to buy a new one because they are expensive but I need somewhere to put my presents!
What do you guys do for Christmas decoratings?

[Ladybug]

For your brother, perhaps some video game if he likes those? My brother is 19, and he's dead set on getting the new Assassin's Creed and Call of Duty: Black Ops, and it's been impossible to get him to come up with other things he wants, except "shirts". My 22 year old brother asked for power tools, an aeropress, a juice maker and twin-tip skis, which probably doesn't help because they're all pretty expensive, I'd assume.

I was going to suggest some merino wool clothes for the kid, but I guess that won't be very good given that there's most likely not snow in Australia atm, like there is here. Kids often have way too many toys, so perhaps a kids' book or some piece of clothing?

[A Wet Helmet]

Yeah, my new job only pays once a month so I had to go shopping early.  I've got everything except what Santa will be getting the sitting in boxes behind me right now. Most of it from Amazon.  It's the best feeling.

[tania]

what should I get for his 2yo baby boy?

my sister has a son now too. i bought him some threadless onesies. i guess it's not really a real gift for a baby since he's too young to appreciate how cute/awesome he looks in them, but my sister seemed pretty happy.

[David_Dovey]

I think I am legitimately going to and cut down my own Christmas tree this year


and/or buy this

[Lunchbox]

Aw dang Tania! Those are so cute.
I think he is in regular clothes now though, it looks like they have those too! With convenient '2Y' labeling. I wonder how accurate that is.

[Eris]

There are normally sizing charts to show how big the sizes actually are. On the topic of christmas, I realised recently that I still haven't finished mum's present, and I have to get it framed at some point too. Ack! I also have to work out what to get my dad, and ben, which is going to be hard.

Unless ben decides to love his marbles we probably aren't going to decorate for christmas in our apartments, which doesn't bother me in the slightest!

[Lines]

Blog thread, I pumped out a paper and nearly killed myself making a plaster carving this morning (that was due this afternoon!) but it's over and my class thought my carving project thing was pretty cool so yay! But I am turning into a coughy mcwheezy face and that's not good. (Now is really not the time to get bronchitis.) :c I have an exam Wednesday and my kids' art show is Saturday and I have to not be a coughy mcwheezy face for Harry Potter Saturday afternoon! I will be attacked by fans more avid than myself. (I mean, I'm a pretty big fan, but some of those fans are scary and stuff and I don't wanna die.)

[Lunchbox]

Threadless shopping done! I think that's everyone? I guess I'll get some sort of game as well for my brother. I think he has a 360 but I've no idea what games he already has. Oh well. I can annoy someone at EB tomorrow.   

[squawk]

so whenever wikipedia has the banner at the top of pages that are like Appeal From Jimmy Wales, i just take the background image URL and post them on my friend's facebook wall

neither of us know why i do this
but they crack me up
and confuse the shit out of her







the idea of jimmy wales being funny to me is probably due to this, ryan north's doing