So, my mum called me tonight. Normally I would groan and wihinge about how annoying it is, but she said she'd had a really bad week so I sucked it up.
My Aunt had a stroke a few days ago. She was supposed to have surgery to clip a brain aneurysm on thursday, so it was a week too late. There wasn't any paralysis, which is a massive relief, but she is having trouble with language. She's not hearing words, not being able to find the right words, saying something when she thinks she's saying something else. She is also having trouble with short term memory; getting to the end of sentences and having forgotten what was at the start of them. That is really awful because words were her thing. She has been an editor of a newspaper, did speech writing when she was younger, it was always such a big part of who she was that she was good with words. Now she can barely read.
It could be a lot worse. She could have had paralysis, or been in a coma (like her mother was when she had a stroke), or could be dead. It is just so devastating because of how close it was to her surgery date. It also makes this whole family history of aneurysms thing much more real. Mum was freaking out a little, imagining that she was next. Her aneurysms (she has two very small ones) were caught very early, so she has been told not to worry about them, so I reassured her of that. Now I am starting to worry about myself; I am not really a high risk of strokes (apart from the strong family history), but maybe i will get checked soon just in case.
This feels much more real than when my other aunt had a stroke, maybe because I am closer to Anna. Also the thought of losing my words makes me so terrified. I don't know how I could deal with that. I was telling ben about the conversation and started getting stressed about it so we watched a dvd to distract me, just like I talked to mum about my life to distract her. It's funny how something as simple as that can help. It's also funny how things like that remind me how similar I am to mum in certain respects. All in all, I am going to have a lot to think about tomorrow when I am bored at work.