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Re: Blog Thread IIIa : Look Who's Blogging Now
Patrick:
Yesterday I found out that a good buddy of mine passed away on the last day of July. Heart attack at the age of 58. He was still serving parole for a 20 year sentence on alcohol-related charges and would've been completely free about 2 weeks after he died. I was just about to give him a call, I wasn't sure why I hadn't run into him downtown. Now I know.
I really wish we'd been able to start a band like he wanted. Only reason we didn't while he was alive was because of the question, "Well, where the hell can we play? My parole restricts me from playing in any place that serves alcohol." Music kept him going though, he played bass and sang blues like a motherfucker. And he was always incredibly supportive of my playing. We'd play the Allman Brothers together.
I feel like shit, the last time I saw him was maybe a week before he died. He was driving his welding truck to a job and passed by my apartment as I was on my way to get job applications. He waved and drove off to that day's welding job. One week later he was gone and I was none the wiser.
I guess the reason I feel the most shitty about it is because he wanted me to play guitar on some original songs he'd written so he could give the recording to his sons and his daughter. Never even got the chance, either he was busy or I was busy. Now nobody gets to hear the songs he poured his love into. I only ever got to hear the one, and I count myself lucky, but what a damn shame.
Zingoleb:
Aw, man, Pat. That sucks. I'm so sorry.
--- Quote from: Ptommydski on 17 Sep 2010, 03:23 ---
--- Quote from: Ptommydski on 14 Sep 2010, 10:33 ---Zingoleb, why don't you kill literally everyone you know? I can't help but think you'd be doing the world a massive service.
Just planting seeds here.
--- End quote ---
--- End quote ---
I've considered it. But on a more serious note, I've been having this sort of struggle wherein I feel like I have two options - A) Go somewhere more liberal and accepting, or B) Try to make this place more accepting. A would obviously be the easier route, but I know I'm not the only person who hates it here - probably half my high school was pretty liberal, whereas the rest of the people around here are staunchly conservative - so it feels like I'm just leaving a problem for other people here. So with option B, how do I go about even changing that? I don't even know. Like, I could start some kind of LGBT support group? The nearest one is an hour's drive away. I still have no idea how to do that, though, really, and trying to find out on-line isn't helping. I feel incredibly stuck in terms of trying to help, and I feel like a coward running away.
Lines:
A support group sounds like a really good idea! If you want to start one, post an ad on Craigslist and put up a few flyers in liberal friendly areas where you think LGBTQs would see it. I would recommend the first place be in a public place, like a coffee shop or something and if you're worried some dumbass is going to come and try to cause problems, ask a the police if they could have someone be there just in case. (The uni club that organizes the drag shows I was in always has a cop come by to be in the bar area just in case something happens. Nothing major ever has, but still it's a good precaution to have if you feel it's necessary.) If you want to make change, the best way is to get everyone together so you aren't fighting a battle by yourself.
However, down the road, if you don't feel like this is making any progress it may be best for you to move to an area with good support. It may leave this town the same, but at least you'll be in a more accepting community, which makes a big difference for some people.
Jimor:
Patrick, condolences, that really sucks. One thing you might see is if he left any notes or scratch recordings of those songs and see if you can record something of them anyway. Even if they don't match his vision, I'm sure his family would appreciate having something like that.
Ed, A is probably the more realistic option. Get to a place where you can get your shit together and start leading a life that will make you happy. If you want to explore option B, though, see what the library or community center requirements are for a meeting, and give it a try. Maybe see if you can get a speaker on LGBT issues from a larger city nearby that might already have a support group or organization. You'll get a good idea of what level of support/opposition exists, and if nothing else, any people who do show up will at least meet some folks with common issues to talk with, even if you do end up leaving later.
On the home front, my uncle is finally moving out of my mother's place this week. For somebody who keeps telling other people what a nightmare it is living with her (after he basically lied about everything going on in order to get the invite for "a short visit", and really, the only "problem" is that my mother isn't much of a talker, so he's bored and unwilling to entertain himself, or help out around the house, or say "thank you"...), he sure is dragging his feet about getting into the senior apartment he's renting. We took him to IKEA for some household items, and I helped build the furniture he had ordered there last week, so hopefully by Monday he'll finally be gone.
Lines:
I am moving Sunday and my kitty is staying with my mom. I am not happy about this. It may be better for him in the long run, but it sure sucks for me.
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