Maybe you could just go to a decent hairdresser and ask them to tidy the hair up a little. The style of it suits you, it is just a little unruly at the moment is all.
As for these people telling you the heavy lip colour is a bad idea, I have no idea what these miscreants' problem(s) is/are. It is a pretty good idea, and looks nice as is, but for my mind the colour needs slight tweaking for it to be perfect. I am not sure if the lighting in your room is throwing off the tones, and I'm not 100% on this, but I think perhaps it should be a little darker to match your hair more? Darker red, I mean, like more toward a maroon colour.