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Re: Whatever, Let's Have A Goddamn Blog Thread, But Try And Keep It Reasonable, pt B

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Dazed:
Hey there Blog Thread,

So I have a very good lady friend, who I have a rather serious crush on. She is aware of this, but she has a boyfriend who she's apparently very happy with. We're still good friends, and very cool with hanging out around each other. It still sucks though, I just get really depressed after I see her. I really dig her as a friend, but it's sort of painful having to deal with a perpetual sense of rejection. Blugh, I really don't think I'm explaining this well, and just sort of rambling. Anyway, I was hanging out at her place last night, and when I was about to leave I found that there was a sheet of black ice covering, quite literally, everything. So I was kind of trapped in Somerville, wound up crashing at her place, slept like shit, feel like shit now, and really just wish things were different for once.

~James

Also, oh my, I've been sigquoted. What an honor, thank you internet.

0bsessions:
Don't start a relationship with a friend before the age you imagine yourself potentially settling down at. It may seem like a simple matter of "I adore this person as a friend, obviously it'd be a great relationship," but it is about the most volatile thing one can get involved in. That feeling of depression and slight resentment you might have (Not towards anyone in particular, just the "wish things were different" part) is only going to get worse if you ever date her and things don't work out. It's something good enough friends can get over, eventually, but it's just so very ill advised.

My honest to god advice to you is to just start dating around. It sounds shallow, but it's the best way to take your mind off of her. Mind you, don't just start fucking people, that'll make it worse (Nothing sucks worse than the feeling of utter self contempt you get thinking about someone while someone else is sleeping next to you).  If you find someone cool, you'll almost undoubtedly spend less time with your friend, but the awkwardness will also disappear.

Emaline:
Man, Dazed, I know what you mean. I was dating two guys during the same time(by dating I mean, as casually as you could use the word. We went on dates, we hung out, we made out. They all knew about each other, and everybody was fine with it, we were all doing the same thing.), and I kind of developed feelings for both of them. I told each of them, and was rejected by both. One wasn't ready for a relationship, and the other didn't feel the same way about me. I was fine with it, I mean, given the circumstances, it was completely understandable, and I had no reason to really be upset. It was hard for awhile, but I got used to it.

One of the guys sort of faded away, and we don't talk so much anymore. The other guy  is one of my best friends. He is like a big brother to me now. He recently started dating(seriously) this lady, and I wish him the best. Seriously, dude is a cool guy.

But yeah, I will second the advice and say date around. Don't sleep around, but go out on dates with people.


Also, Blarg thread,

They turned the water back on! I peed and brushed me teeth! I feel cleaner!

Dazed:
Done the dating around thing a little bit, I don't know why, but it just doesn't work for me. I've had relationships with friends that have worked out fine, even once they ended. The whole casual dating scene just has no attraction to me. I'm stupid that way.

0bsessions:
The point of casual dating in this instance is to try and find something that sticks.

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