Fun Stuff > CHATTER
Re: Whatever, Let's Have A Goddamn Blog Thread, But Try And Keep It Reasonable, pt B
Sox:
Credit ain't where credit due and it's gettin' like an old pair of socks that are becoming shaped like my feet. Some people hate their socks, some people don't even have their own and they borrow other people's. I got socks I'm comfortable with though. Sometimes I'll wear two different pairs for extra comfort and insulation. You gotta mix them carefully though. Put the synths on first, y'know, you could destroy your feet if you're not careful.
I like to think I'm pretty good at socks, but I guess it doesn't actually help me much.
benji:
--- Quote from: KvP on 16 Jan 2009, 20:45 ---Also, I guess I should outline exactly why I've been so bummed lately. Basically my best friend told me that she was going away and that soon I would not see her. She's been a mentor to me, the best friend that I've ever had and the reason why 2008 was the best year of my life. Everything that is good in my life at this point, I owe to her. And she's leaving me. She told me "In every hero's story, the teacher has to die." which was pretty hokey, and I told her so, and I told her I do not want her to die. Yesterday I just sat in bed and cried. Today has been less bad, but I'm depending on the support of my other friends, who I wouldn't know, incidentally, without my best friend.
And part of it was that she was a lot different this time. She was very cold, and blunt, and more than once she made me feel ashamed of myself, by belittling her role in my recent personal progress and scoffing when I told her that what I wanted to focus on in my Poli Sci major was gay rights. She accused me of only caring about it because she and my other friends are gay. I am genuinely enraged by this, like I have to earn my fucking stripes. Like I should not care because I've never fucked a man. It angries up my blood. She's never done this to me before, she's always been supportive and encouraging.
When I first told my mother about my best friend, she told me that eventually she would tire of me and my flaws, and cast me away. I didn't believe her. Maybe I should have. It fucks me up. It really fucks me up.
--- End quote ---
Ok, maybe I'm out of line offering advice like this, but damned if you don't need some. A friendship is a relationship between equals, but you've put your entire life on this girl. It doesn't sound like friendship so much as hero worship. She's probably just exhausted from being on your pedestal so much. And of course she's leaving. She has to live her own life. But she'll let you in to that life, even if you're at a distance, if you start treating her as a human being instead of as an idol. Right now, you've become convinced that you only own your failures and that your successes are all hers. If you had successes in 2008, that's great. Your task for 2009 should be learning to count your own successes and not attribute them to other people. She may have helped you get where you are, but everything you did belongs to you and if you can admit that to yourself, you'll be a lot happier. What's more, she'll be happier because she'll a friend instead of a worshiper, which means that she'll have someone she can go to for love and support when she's feeling the need for it, instead of always having to be the one doing the supporting.
öde:
Excellent post, benji.
Patrick:
Idunno, man, I tend to exaggerate stuff when I'm paralyzed by feeling lost and confused. Which seems to be what's going on. I know I am kindof a hypocrite saying this, but let's not be so quick to judge. The guy's losing somebody he cares about. When my grandpa died, I hadn't even seen him for a year and a half, and if the subject comes up, I -still- talk about him like he was the second Messiah.
öde:
It's an awkward time for sure but those feelings can shit you up if you don't get over them.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version