Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT: 2816-2820 (20-24 October 2014) Weekly Comic Discussion Thread
sitnspin:
--- Quote from: de_la_Nae on 19 Oct 2014, 23:22 ---
--- Quote from: Krald on 19 Oct 2014, 21:51 ---
There's nothing wrong with thinking someone is hot. And martin may of said it was alright, but he sure didn't think it judging by his talk with steve later. Either way it was a shitty spot for tai to put a very passive person in no matter what.
--- End quote ---
Fuuuuuuuuuuck Marten on that one.
Time moves at the speed it needs to move in this strip; sometimes fast, sometimes slow. There is little solid understanding.
That said, when you no longer have a relationship, you have little legitimate say anymore. Sorry.
Tai and Marten talked several times, both jokingly and not, on Tai's attraction to Dora. Both before and after his and her's breakup. Both before and after Tai finally made a move on Dora.
Frankly, because Tai loves Marten, she kept a look out for his feelings way more than she needed to on the matter. Because Marten no longer had any stake in that part of Dora's life.
I've been on both sides of this, and I haven't always handled it well. But the truth is at a certain point if you spend all your time waiting for others to be okay with your decisions, then you'll never get to make any decisions. I don't remember Tai's exact words, but her sentiment finally of 'Screw waiting, we're going for it' was right.
And you'll remember that Marten, the one your argument indicates is the centrally hurt party by her actions, wishes her godspeed.
Anyway, that one's been rambling in my head for a while, had to finally chime in.
--- End quote ---
My thoughts exactly. I never understood the whole "you can't date a friends' ex" thing. It is ridiculous and it is basically saying that a person's ex is their property and dating them is like stealing from them. Let's make this clear: You don't own anyone, people are free to making their own decisions and form whatever relationships make them mutually happy. You don't get to a say in who they date. Once the relationship is over, you no longer get to have any input. Dating someone's ex is not "putting them in a shitty spot". They are your ex, it no longer concerns you.
I want my friends to be happy, I wouldn't think to stand in their way if being together makes them happy. Tai asked Marten if it was okay first, which is far more than she had any obligation to do.
Having a plethora of "options" should in no way impact someone's decision to pursue the person they have feeling for. You like who you like, the fact that you could date someone else instead doesn't change that.
As for today's comic, good job Marten, you are doing it right. A friend is there for you and supportive without needing to know why.
aphanisis81:
--- Quote from: sitnspin on 20 Oct 2014, 04:18 ---
--- Quote from: de_la_Nae on 19 Oct 2014, 23:22 ---
--- Quote from: Krald on 19 Oct 2014, 21:51 ---
There's nothing wrong with thinking someone is hot. And martin may of said it was alright, but he sure didn't think it judging by his talk with steve later. Either way it was a shitty spot for tai to put a very passive person in no matter what.
--- End quote ---
Fuuuuuuuuuuck Marten on that one.
Time moves at the speed it needs to move in this strip; sometimes fast, sometimes slow. There is little solid understanding.
That said, when you no longer have a relationship, you have little legitimate say anymore. Sorry.
Tai and Marten talked several times, both jokingly and not, on Tai's attraction to Dora. Both before and after his and her's breakup. Both before and after Tai finally made a move on Dora.
Frankly, because Tai loves Marten, she kept a look out for his feelings way more than she needed to on the matter. Because Marten no longer had any stake in that part of Dora's life.
I've been on both sides of this, and I haven't always handled it well. But the truth is at a certain point if you spend all your time waiting for others to be okay with your decisions, then you'll never get to make any decisions. I don't remember Tai's exact words, but her sentiment finally of 'Screw waiting, we're going for it' was right.
And you'll remember that Marten, the one your argument indicates is the centrally hurt party by her actions, wishes her godspeed.
Anyway, that one's been rambling in my head for a while, had to finally chime in.
--- End quote ---
My thoughts exactly. I never understood the whole "you can't date a friends' ex" thing. It is ridiculous and it is basically saying that a person's ex is their property and dating them is like stealing from them. Let's make this clear: You don't own anyone, people are free to making their own decisions and form whatever relationships make them mutually happy. You don't get to a say in who they date. Once the relationship is over, you no longer get to have any input. Dating someone's ex is not "putting them in a shitty spot". They are your ex, it no longer concerns you.
I want my friends to be happy, I wouldn't think to stand in their way if being together makes them happy. Tai asked Marten if it was okay first, which is far more than she had any obligation to do.
Having a plethora of "options" should in no way impact someone's decision to pursue the person they have feeling for. You like who you like, the fact that you could date someone else instead doesn't change that.
As for today's comic, good job Marten, you are doing it right. A friend is there for you and supportive without needing to know why.
--- End quote ---
I don't think it's as simple as Krald puts it, but I think you're maybe oversimplifying too. Sure, it's not WRONG to date someone a friend used to date, but I think it's reasonable to say that by doing so, you're basically saying "I'm willing to risk your comfort and our friendship in order to be with this person." It basically prioritizes the romantic relationship over the friendship one.
But there are so many factors. How long were they together? How serious was it? What was the nature of the breakup? Who dumped whom? Is your friend basically over it and getting back out there, or drowning him/herself in whisky and listening to The Cure every night?
Krald:
--- Quote from: aphanisis81 on 20 Oct 2014, 04:34 ---
I don't think it's as simple as Krald puts it, but I think you're maybe oversimplifying too. Sure, it's not WRONG to date someone a friend used to date, but I think it's reasonable to say that by doing so, you're basically saying "I'm willing to risk your comfort and our friendship in order to be with this person." It basically prioritizes the romantic relationship over the friendship one.
But there are so many factors. How long were they together? How serious was it? What was the nature of the breakup? Who dumped whom? Is your friend basically over it and getting back out there, or drowning him/herself in whisky and listening to The Cure every night?
--- End quote ---
All i was stating was it was pretty douchy for her to leap on dora the moment she was free, mostly since it was a Dora freak out break up, not hey this just isnt working out, despite marten saying it was a joint decision it really was not. Never said she couldn't date her, just let the poor guy who got kicked out of the relationship not see one of his friends all over his ex within like, weeks.
ASB84:
Generally speaking, I think it's at least a contentious issue among groups of friends, even if it's not an outright taboo. I think if you were to hook up with a friend's ex pretty much right after a break-up, it's basically confirming that "Yeah, I've fancied your significant other for some time now", and seemingly implies - whether it's actually the case or not - that you've been waiting for things to fall apart so that you could make your move. It's kind of a lousy way to feel about a friend's partner, and not particularly considerate of their feelings or your friendship with them.
sitnspin:
--- Quote from: aphanisis81 on 20 Oct 2014, 04:34 ---I don't think it's as simple as Krald puts it, but I think you're maybe oversimplifying too. Sure, it's not WRONG to date someone a friend used to date, but I think it's reasonable to say that by doing so, you're basically saying "I'm willing to risk your comfort and our friendship in order to be with this person." It basically prioritizes the romantic relationship over the friendship one.
But there are so many factors. How long were they together? How serious was it? What was the nature of the breakup? Who dumped whom? Is your friend basically over it and getting back out there, or drowning him/herself in whisky and listening to The Cure every night?
--- End quote ---
Obviously there are nuances and extenuating circumstances, and every situation is slightly different, but on the whole I still stand by my analysis. It's also reasonable to say that if you are willing to prevent your friend from dating your ex you are saying that your comfort is more important than their potential happiness. I can only speak for myself, but like I said I wouldn't want to stand in the way of my friends' happiness and I'd not expect them to need or request my permission. I stand by my position that preventing, or attempting to prevent, a friend from dating your ex is a selfish asshole move and reeks of entitlement.
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