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Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning

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Welu:
I've discovered that I love telling people I kept my name after getting married. I thought it would be more frustrating dealing with the assumptions but confidently saying, "My name is [Name]." Keeps getting this slightly taken aback response, where people are clearly confused and/or disapproving but can't/won't say anything outright damning.
I don't usually like making people feel awkward or weird but there's something satisfying about being assertive about who I am.

I tend to get the same questions.

Why?
Why not? I like my name.

What name will your children have?
We're not having children. (Gets a bonus taken aback response)

How?
This is the most confusing. I just... Didn't change my name.

But what does your Partner think?
Not that it really matters because it's my name, but they completely support me.

I personally prefer the symbolism that we are two separate people who have chosen to be together. I can understand the idea of wanting to become one or symbolise being family, but I didn't feel the need to change my name to feel like we are family.

All that said it might be an issue when we're on holiday with my brother. That might lead to more confusing situations being with one person who has the same name but I'm married to the person with the different name. I guess it'll just be more chances to say, "Actually.... 8-)"

War Sparrow:
Is that really a thing? People ask that?

I mean, sure most of the people I know changed their name, but it's not that uncommon not to. Possibly it's the Quebecois influence. I just can't imagine asking something like that.
Good on you for sticking to your guns.

pwhodges:
In 1969 my first wife would have kept her name if she'd liked it - but she disliked it, so she changed.  In 1992 we never even considered the possibility of my second wife changing her name.

It appears that the (UK) banks are finding difficulties as they attempt to make money-laundering harder.  One man who changed his name to his wife's had particular difficulties - and his employer even refused to honour the change.  Another woman had changed her name, but still used her old name professionally (a common thing, I'd suggest), but her bank said they were no longer prepared to accept payments in two names.

Cornelius:
This is always somewhat puzzling for me, as changing your name when getting married, is very much the exception over here. As in, I can't think of even one person having done so.

Welu:
In the five marriages, including mine, that happened in my social circle in the past year, three the wife changed name, one both partners went for double-barrelled surname, and we're the only to keep our names.

I find a lot of people I've met tend to say they support keeping your name or both partners taking both surnames, but for some reason they have to change their name because the tradition applies to them. It's ultimately each person's choice, but tradition still has a strong influence.

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