I've already had to learn basic woodworking and metalworking since moving in here, and now I can add electrical engineering to the list, which was a little more of an iffy process since I was risking more than a power tool accident, namely frying a €400 washing machine, the fuses, and maybe myself. The reason I couldn't simply plug it into a wall socket is that I'm supposed to install it in the bathroom, which has a special pullcord-connection for safety reasons, with the humidity and all. Of course, nobody told me this. When I ordered this thing I even paid extra for installation service, and when the guys came to haul it in they were like "cord's too short, can't connect this" and left. Paid them for nothing and still couldn't wash.
Following the advice of people on the internet, I decided not to simply power the washing machine with an extension cord from the nearest wall plug because that might have started a fire or something, and went about doing things the proper way. I first bought a few meters of cable, stripped the ends, and then noticed I had no idea how to connect bare wires to the part where the power cable connects to the washing machine. So I had to learn about terminals and crimping, which is hard when you sort of know what those things are but not the actual words for them. Bought a box of 100 terminals for the three I needed, and attached them.
Then it was just a matter of connecting the stripped wires on the other end to the pullcord-connection, which was much more difficult than it had to be, because I had to turn off the power so I wouldn't electrocute myself in the process. Fortunately that blood-loss-induced bout of stupidity from earlier didn't last, otherwise I might have forgotten to do that. But that did mean I had to connect three wires to a socket that was practically against the ceiling with no light except from that of my phone flashlight. It was a bit of a pain in the ass.
Nevertheless, I got it done, and before flipping the power back on I double-checked whether I connected the brown and blue wires properly, because one's supposed to go on the bit labeled L and the other on the N. Turns out I did mix this up and I connected them properly. I don't know what would have happened if I connected the phase wire to the neutral connector and powered it on, but I'm guessing something would have gone 'pop'.
TL;DR: I now have a washing machine and I didn't electrocute myself, hooray!