Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT

WCDT Strips 3811-3815 (20-24 August 2018)

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BenRG:
In Marten's defence, I bet that he thinks that he's doing the right thing. Claire has been talking to him about her anxieties before and he's been doing his best to reassure her that he believes in her and that he doesn't think she has anything to worry about. By acting as he does in this strip, he's just failing to pick up that what Claire is trying to say has changed slightly.

One of the big problems is, of course, Claire has been hiding just how badly this is affecting her from... well, just about everyone. I think that Pintsize only knows because she tossed him! That said, Marten should be more aware of Claire's mental and emotional health. When they first met, she was on medication for anxiety and mood swings and things like that don't just 'go away' because you're in a stable and happy relationship!

TheEvilDog:
Okay, before the torches and pitchforks are broken out...

A relationship is a two way street. Both sides need to communicate and actually say something is wrong. After all, no one has true telepathy (...yet). So people will default to the old "I know you'll do great".

Is that helping Claire right now? Probably not, but Marten hasn't done anything wrong here, yet. He's trying to be a good boyfriend, giving his girlfriend the encouragement he thinks she needs. I mean, stressing about exams is a common thing to stress about and most of the time, people just need that encouraging word.

The problem would be if Claire kept trying to talk to Marten and he just keeps saying encouraging things, without taking the time to actually listen to Claire's problems and fears, then talking through them with Claire.

Remember, Marten is a decent person, but he can't read people's minds and instantly solve their problems.

Annemoon:

--- Quote from: Castlerook on 21 Aug 2018, 00:33 ---So people will default to the old "I know you'll do great".


--- End quote ---

That is the worst though. :') In general, you should just never respond like this. Because it means your not actually listening.
First "awww, man/honey tell me more about it" and afterwards you can say something like "I'm really sure you'll do great, absolutely, I've seen you put in the work, but I can totally understand why you are so upset about it."

So definitely some downpoints to marten. She *is* clearly trying to talk.
This might be the moment that pintsize is going to shine by giving him some "gentle" reminder though :P that might be funny

Annemoon:

--- Quote from: Annemoon on 21 Aug 2018, 00:44 ---First "awww, man/honey tell me more about it" and afterwards you can say something like "I'm really sure you'll do great, absolutely, I've seen you put in the work, but I can totally understand why you are so upset about it."

--- End quote ---

btw, if you are interested, my take on how to calm someone down/listen: (from a person who struggels with anxiety, so I would know)

- first you let people vent, let the stress out a little. Also so you can see what's bothering them most - what is the thing that is stressing them out specifically
- you *do* give some positive response, they are talking themselves down *hard* at the moment, they need to hear some positivity HOWEVER, this is the hard part - you have to make it specific, you have to stress it, because otherwise they won't believe you. It would sound too generic. You have to word it in a way that gives them a feeling that it's your actual response to this, and give them one or two solid reasons behind this reasoning.
- important next step; acknowledge their suffering. If you don't, they'll feel like you're just waving away their struggles, you have to acknowledge their feelings of discomfort. This let's them know you see what they are going through, you are there, and it also makes your previous encouragement more believable. Even though you see how bad it is, you do believe in them. .etc.

AlliedToasters:
Initially I was with all the people saying "Claire just needs to communicate better," but honestly, looking at the strip, Marten asks Claire how her day is and immediately dismisses her response. He's being inconsiderate, IMO.

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