Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT

WCDT Strips 4316-4320 (27-31 July 2020)

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Reaver:

--- Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 29 Jul 2020, 09:55 ---It is easy, right or wrong, to read her communication choices as reflecting contempt for those around her.

The Gottman research on relationships found contempt to be toxic and death to relationships.

Anyone who has lived with someone contemptuous is going to react to May. Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?

--- End quote ---

Why'd I just start drooling everywhere? D8

Gnabberwocky:

--- Quote from: N.N. Marf on 29 Jul 2020, 01:44 ---
--- Quote from: Gnabberwocky on 28 Jul 2020, 21:15 ---
--- Quote from: N.N. Marf on 28 Jul 2020, 20:33 ---Was Marten's anger appropriate?

--- End quote ---
I think it was. Marten actually addresses that in panel three of this comic. He shouldn't have had to encrypt anything, because he told Dora not to look, but she did anyway, and that's what led to the breakup.

--- End quote ---
I'm familiar with that page---it doesn't address the appropriateness of Marten's anger. Marten having encrypted his data would not have precluded Dora's attempt to invade Marten's privacy, but that's as contemptible. The fact that an unauthorized person can look at the data if it's not encrypted is the exact reason to encrypt it. How much was his anger enhanced by the Dora having some of his private data? But that question won't get us closer to knowing whether Marten's anger was appropriate. Was there a response that could get to the same result, without the unnecessary pathos? If so, Marten has anger management problems. Sure, his anger management problems are pretty slight---he's quite a chill dude---but this riled him up.
In his place, I might get angry, too. That emotion might come up. But, in his place, I'd rather not get angry; instead, simply ending the relationship. (I mean entirely. Dora would become no more than a person behind the counter of a café I go to sometimes.)

--- End quote ---

I'm sensing that people are sick and tired of this argument, so this will be my last post on this front.

Until that last fight, Marten had done nearly everything right. Almost every previous conflict they'd had was set up by Dora and always ended up with Marten finding a way to calm her down or Dora having guilt feelings. It's likely that yes, there was a better way for Marten to handle that, but in a heated situation with the full pressure of a strained relationship on his shoulders, I think he reacted about as expected. This is an odd analogy, but imagine you're being pushed around and taunted every week for a year by the same person. Eventually, you give up and punch them. That's not the best, most levelheaded thing to do, but it's appropriate within the situation and they deserved it.

(Just so you know, if you post a response to this, I won't answer. It's not because I don't like you, it's because this argument has been going on for too long and we're saying the same things over and over again.)

jwhouk:
Oh, wait - this is the Breakup Thread argument all over again, isn't it?

Don't do that. I have a streak of threads started since then that haven't been locked due to argument levels.

Bottom line is that Dora screwed that relationship up and Marten moved on. Things are Better Now.

Tova:
Yes, if it feels like people are sick and tired of that argument, then that is the reason. It has reappeared many times in these threads, and tends to produce more heat than light.

BTW the common assertion that "Marten is the comic's punching bag" may or may not emotionally feel true to you, dear Reader, but it implies rather strongly that only bad things happen to Marten, or all of the bad things that happen in the comic (or at least the vast majority) happen only to Marten. Neither of those ring true to me. Maybe at one time? But not now.

Gnabberwocky:
Comic has arrived.

The whole point of the drive was so that May could get a new body, and I think that's at least where the majority of the funds should go, but May brings up a couple interesting points. Does someone else need it more than she does? Almost certainly, but May too is in a shitty situation and should be able to escape it. Does she "deserve" it? No more than a privileged child "deserves" a birthday present, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't get it.

Also, is that the reason she was so averse to the charity drive from the start because she felt she didn't deserve it? If that's the case, I think she needs a therapist, because she has some deep-seated self-worth problems.

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