Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT

WCDT strips 4361-4365 (Sep 28th to Oct 2nd 2020)

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Dandi Andi:
Today's comic was absolutely fantastic. There's a lot of really subtle character growth for May and Marigold both here. I love it.

Thrillo makes the excellent point that May has been through some heavy trauma. She has clearly developed some very unhealthy behaviors to deal with that. She's got a whole lot of baggage and that shit takes time to put down, no matter how nice people are to you. There is no magical switch for May to flip to go from being abrasive and rude to being kind and considerate. You don't just decide "I'm going to be nice from now on" and then suddenly you are. Behavior doesn't work that way. It takes time and practice. We have seen moments with May where that time and practice has paid off. This, believe it or not, is one of those times.

May's relationship with Dale is a complex and difficult one. What Dale is offering May is effectively a holding space. May has a lot of trauma to work through and it is going to take time. Her behavior isn't going to change quickly and Dale recognizes that. He's OK with that. He's not OK with being abused, but he understands that he's going to have to regularly assert his boundaries and that May is going to cross them sometimes. As long as May is willing to respect his boundaries and correct herself when she crosses them, he's willing to forgive her and give her the space she needs to practice being a more respectful person. That's how their relationship began. Dale established boundaries and refused to let May disrespect them. When she agreed to respect those boundaries, he turned the glasses back on and let her have space. It's a delicate balancing act of offering both forgiveness and accountability. It's space for someone to make mistakes, but they have to own them and fix them.

This kind of relationship is hard. It takes a lot of emotional work from everyone involved. Not everyone is prepared to offer that space to people and nobody is obligated to. Dale is in a place emotionally where he can. He's very comfortable establishing and defending his boundaries. But that's a skill that Marigold did not have when May first entered their lives. That's why Dale was so adamant that May be kind to her. Marigold wasn't in a place emotionally to hold space for a recovering bully. Dale was willing to take on that emotional work himself, but wasn't going to impose it on Marigold. But we can see Marigold demonstrating an ability to assert her boundaries with May here in panel 2. May made a mean spirited joke and Marigold confidently shut that shit down. May doubles back in panel 3 asserting that she wasn't being malicious and makes the joke again from another angle without the disparagement. I think it's pretty clear in the change in Marigold's demeanor that this time the joke was accepted as intended. He reaction went from "Don't insult my interests" to "Why yes, I DO have some really tacky nerd shit to subject you to" in the span of a panel. That's because May's joke changed from "Your tacky nerd shit is worthy of derision" to "I can pull off whatever look to throw my way". Now, leading panel 3 with a simple "sorry" would have vastly changed the tone of this strip, but May is still a work in progress.

It's perfectly fine to dislike May. I sure do. It's also OK to be critical of her behavior. I think everybody is. Dale and Marigold definitely are. But this is also an opportunity to recognize May's growth and to practice empathy. Fiction is wonderful for that. With zero stakes, it's an opportunity to see vastly different people and, if not relate, at least understand. I think we can all give May the same space the cast has done and be critical of her behavior while showing her empathy and giving her room to grow.

Tova:

--- Quote from: Reaver on 02 Oct 2020, 19:43 ---...You don't think "If you are going to be mean to me, I am not going to give you anything"  is Marigold being upset and represented as upset, despite the words literally coming out of her mouth are "If you're going to be mean"?????

--- End quote ---

Correct. Because inherent to the word "banter" is the idea that the words coming out of your mouth are not to be taken literally.

It's entirely possible that it was not banter. I'm just offering up another interpretation.

At least two people have commented on the tonal shift from panel two to panel three. However, if you look at the whole comic through the lens of friendly poking/banter, then the shift between those panels is a lot less incongruous.

Edit: I also recognise that the line between banter and bullying is very fine. Both sides have to be positively engaged with it to qualify as banter. There used to be a lot of "banter" at Coffee of Doom, but those incidents have been reintepreted as bullying more recently. That probably reflects on Jeph's evolving attitude towards that kind of joking around (and society's more broadly).

Tova:

--- Quote from: Dandi Andi on 02 Oct 2020, 21:28 ---That's because May's joke changed from "Your tacky nerd shit is worthy of derision" to "I can pull off whatever look to throw my way". Now, leading panel 3 with a simple "sorry" would have vastly changed the tone of this strip, but May is still a work in progress.

--- End quote ---

Sorry to double post, but I wanted to add that this is a good point. In the early days of that kind of joking around, it's advisable to make sure that both people are comfy with it. And a simple "sorry" followed by carefully watching Marigold's reaction would have told May a lot.

I dunno if May's social skills are quite up to that yet, though.

Gnabberwocky:

--- Quote from: Dandi Andi on 02 Oct 2020, 21:28 ---Now, leading panel 3 with a simple "sorry" would have vastly changed the tone of this strip, but May is still a work in progress.

--- End quote ---
Just the word "sorry" can turn any conversation around. I know far too many people who say something rude, get called on it, and instead of apologizing, cling desperately to the opinion that what they did was okay rather than admit any wrongdoing.

You could argue that what May did in that third panel was worse than saying nothing. She said something rude, Marigold called her on it, but instead of apologizing, she essentially twisted the conversation to make it seem like Marigold got riled up over nothing. It would have been an equally acceptable response for Marigold to tell her that yes, actually what she said was mean, and she needs to realize that.

Gyrre:

--- Quote from: hedgie on 02 Oct 2020, 10:21 ---She probably hasn’t even been in that chassis for 24 hours of coming time. We’ll have to see if it changes her once the “high” has worn off.

--- End quote ---
I'm guessing whatever Marigold produces, it'll knock May for a loo-loo and kick her out of jerk-mode.

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