Fun Stuff > CLIKC

Suddenly, gamers everywhere got slightly more slothful!

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Switchblade:
Just needs a few adjustments, I think.

like:

/beer (instant booze delivered to your door)

/workout (the game freezes and books an appointment at your local gym. it then refuses to play again until you've done an hour's exercise)

/makeover (hoses you down, sets you up with a blind date, and contacts "queer eye for the straight guy", before self-destructing the computer so you can never play again.)

/monkey (for obvious reasons)

/sleep (for late-night marathons when you're too wired on energy drinks to sleep afterwards. Kicks you off the server, and then displays a psychedelic, hypnotic pattern of colours guaranteed to send you off to peaceful slumber. Configurable options for this command includes a selection of Enya tracks for added insurance.)

/espresso (for an instant caffeine injection.)

/morgue (contacts the coroner's office. Automatically activated if the server has been left active for a week with no activity.)

/911 (calls an ambulance in so you can be treated for those pressure sores on your butt. assuming they can get you away from the keyboard.)

c1utch:
yea wow, i thought it was just another penny-arcade satire.  imagine my horror upon clicking the OP's link.

8-o

Abattur:
You know, the command /beer would rock. Very, VERY much.

tmpafford:
Don't forget

/sex where Monica will visit.  No need to stop playing.  She can fit under the desk.  At lease she used to fit.  Now she is like HUGE.  

Maybe

/sex Pamela?
/sex Demi?
/sex Girl Next Door?

Wildonnie:
It's true, but all /pizza does is link you straight to the Pizza Hut website, where you can order online, just like you always can.  You're all right in /beer being way better.  Hey, Pizza Hut should use this for a new tagline:

Pizza Hut, Catering to Your Fat Ass in the Gaming World as well as the Real World!

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