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You think you know Metal?

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blindsuperhero:

--- Quote from: Robbo ---So what Metal and so called Metal have you listend to then, just so I know where you're coming from. Yes, I know I've seen you throw a few names around before, but ya know.
--- End quote ---


Oh crikey, I'll try and remember. Ermm, firstly the usual 80's stuff you might hear in a rock club: Metallica, Iron Maiden, Guns 'n' Roses, Motorhead, all that. Some Slipknot, if that counts, Soulfly I think (this is back in the late 1990's here), maybe Slayer. Ermmm, some ridiculous troll-related stuff on the Forced Listening thread - 'Sigh' and 'Sargeist' (they all seem to begin with 'S'). Oh, I can't remember. Also, (presumably) non-metal stuff that I didn't like for the same reasons I don't like metal, such as Funeral For A Friend and Planes Mistaken For Stars

a pack of wolves:
If anyone feels a little confusion as to just what the hell grindcore or goregrind is, there's a pretty good rundown here: http://www.traumatizedzine.com/grind.htm

Robbo:
Thanks for the effort to drag names up.

Metallica are average at best.
Iron Maiden are classic and Hallowed Be Thy Name is the best Heavy Metal song ever damn you.
GNR are just over liked Rock.
Slipknot are Nu Metal that really really wants to be Goregrind.
Soulfly are just a Nu Metal to the core.
Slayer have their good moments, but nothing beyond their classics.
Sigh are brilliant.
Sargeist I don't know.
FFAF just down right suck.
PMFS just dont have anything to do with Metal.

So yeah, not the best run down of Metal ever and fairly limited as well.

Johnny C:

--- Quote from: KharBevNor ---[specially noted for its humour -John] I, really, love metal only slightly less than my own left testicle

1: i) "Metal is all screaming/growling etc."

2: i) I've noticed lots of indie people seem to like Mastodon, Isis and sometimes Opeth.
ii) Ayreon
iii) Melodic Death Metal
iv) Opera metal
v) Polka metal

3: i) Commercial 'metal' (which is nine times out of ten not actually metal) often appeals to the lowest common denominator of it's teenage audience with lyrics about angst, violence, etc.
ii) There are joke metal bands: The black metal band Sportlov sing entirely about evil winter sports (grim snowball wars, the dreaded figure-skaters of Satan, etc.), Satans Penguin's dedicate tracks to themes such as the ultimate victory of Gargamel over the Smurfs.
--- End quote ---


I'll respond to these in the order I've taken them out.

1: i) Oh, of course there's a lot of variety. The problem is, SO MUCH of metal is "HRURR" that it really just grinds on one's nerves after a while, or at least the nerves of one who likes it when his music has audible, middle-C-and-beyond notes and its frontmen sing, dammit. But I will concede that metal does have a lot of variety, once you burrow past the incredible number of derivative, sound-alike bands. (more on that later.)

2: i) Yeah. What can I say, it's good tunes. Plus Isis sits comfortably next to Mogwai on playlists I make.
ii) Yeah. Ayreon are possibly the best metal band ever (besides, you know, Sabbath and early Priest and stuff). They are actually beyond words to try and describe. Well, no, they're not beyond "FUCKING XTREEM" but it's hard to get much deeper than that. Unfortunately I've run across bands that try desperately to sound like Ayreon and fail, and that's never pleasant.
iii) ARGH ARGH ARGH. I can't stand MDM. It's everything I hate about metal, wrapped up, packaged neatly, and presented to me in one genre. Hooray!
iv) Opera metal is one of the best things to ever happen to metal. Seriously, it totally makes sense: the grand musical wankery that is metal mixed with the grand musical wankery that is opera! And the best part is, opera metal is always a sterling example of either what metal could sound like at its most amazing and grandiose, or what opera would have sounded like had it been invented by angry, morbid white kids in the 1970's who were obsessed with Hammer horror movies! A vote for opera metal is a vote for free America.
v) Oh my GOD it actually exists? I told one of my friends that it would be the coolest genre ever - a bunch of goth kids in black leather lederhosen jumping around with one playing an electric accordion somehow hooked through a deathmetal distortion petal. Please tell me they work in the tuba somehow.

3: i) Reading that, I've... I've just... I've become so numb. I can't feel you, there.
ii) You have not divulged the existence of these bands sooner? Why? Are there more like them? Can I invite them to my home and have them tell me why they're so awesome?


In summary, I like metal when it stops wanking and being unlistenable.

a pack of wolves:
None of those bands can beat my mate's band LBW. They're grind, and play in full cricket whites. Mint.

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