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QC Forums Mix-Tape Exchange 2: Response Thread.

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Praeserpium Machinarum:
Mine is send, I can only pray that Robbo doesn't rip apart, screaming something about an indie kid conspiracy!

 purely friendly poking mate,
another thing is I wrote coercive in the letter when I meant cohesive, and I have no idea what coercive means

KharBevNor:
Still no response? I've been anticipating the review of my CD ever since my internet went offline!

Abattur:
Oh damn, this sounds interesting.

KharBevNor:
The guys of finntroll are extremely hilarious (I have drank with them once, good times).

KharBevNor:
..................................................awesome.

*bows down*



...Dan, pleeeeease review my mix? Puh-ritty please?

MilkmanDan:
My track by track review.

1. Celtic Shit. Like watching the start of Lord of the Rings where they show what a bunch of wonderful, good-time people the hobbits are with dances and pubs and stupid feet. On constant loop for a million years. Or that bit in Titanic, where they go to that random dance that shows what a bunch of wonderful, good-time people all the shitty 9th class passengers are. For a million years. I imagine Mägo De Oz are a bunch of wonderful, good-time guys. Almost as much of a wonderful good time as I would have stabbing them again and again with their own fucking fiddles. Seriously the worst instrument ever. (tied with the accordion)

2. This is a joke, right? Those are the worst lyrics I've ever heard, and the 'heavy metal' riff is fucking hilarious. You know in films where some little kid decides to learn guitar, and buys a teach yourself guide called something like 'MEGA METAL ROCK POWER', and then the guide turns out to be full of three blind mice, and shitty folk tunes? Yeah? Well that's what this song is like, but after the kid has been learning from nothing but that book for  3 years, and still thinks he's playing METAL SHREDDING RIFFS.

3. As you so succinctly put it, this song sums up 'viking'. That saves me alot of time bandying abut terms like 'terrible', 'pathetic', 'worst song I've ever heard'. I can just tell you that the song sums up viking, and you can work all of that out yourself.

4. Jesus Christ, we're back in Lord of the Rings. DVD deleted scene I guess, because I don't remember some crack-addicted warbler and a drunken Irish twat vomiting onto microphones over the flute-driven 'The road was long, and lo!' soundtrack. Watch out for hilarious 'heavy' section at about 2:30. No wait, 2:30 onwards. Awesome. "SOMEONE! HAS STOLEN! MY GUINESSSSSSSSSS! RUHHHHHH!" is roughly what he's singing. Probobly. God I hate the Pogues. They're worse than U2.

5. The singer sounds like he recorded his lines while frolicking with fauns. However, it is a live performance, and I guess they could have toured Narnia. However, the guitarist has found himself a tab website. Well, a tab. Well, a riff. Just the one. It's alright, the first 200 times.

6. THE BEST FEMALE SINGER/SONGWRITERS IN THE WORLD EVER VOLUME 2,674! THIS RECORD ISN'T AVAILABLE IN SHOPS! ORDER NOW AND WE'LL SEND YOU A SECOND VOLUME CONTAINING THE ACTUAL MUSIC FREE. PLAY THEM TOGETHER AND YOU MIGHT GET A SONG! ORDER NOW! ONLY £2.30, PLUS £17.99 P&P.
Seriously, she sings, someone hits a tambourine about twice, and there is a bit of guitar, once. Where the fuck is the music? I've got nothing against accapellas, but don't try and pretend it's a real song.

7. Like watching a terrible local ska gig. Except the 14 year olds didn't know anyone who played horn instruments, so they got one of their parents to play accordion instead. Also, they didn't know anyone who could sing, but I guess they just decided to ignore that issue.

8. This track was fucked. It played about 10 seconds, then broke, then played a bit more, then broke. Etc. maybe that's deliberate, as you did say it was avant-garde. Given that, without the skipping, it was identical to every other rubbish metal track, that could well be the answer. They've breathed new life into the genre. I especially liked the silent parts.

9. This track only plays the first second on constant loop. This is disappointing, as it was apparently going to be instrumental.

10. This song doesn't even play that much. Dude, I think your CD is fucked.

11. Broken

12. Broken

13. Broken

14. Plays -0:01 to 0:00 on constant loop. It's a club banger.

15. Broken

16. Played until 0:18. Then got stuck. When I say 'played', I mean 'broke and skipped'. Still, a step in the right direction.

17. Broken

18. Broken

19. Slightly less broken. Only slightly. It's sounds like a really scratched record and skipped everything between 0:19 and 2:10. Then it skips back to the beginning.

20. Completely fucked. It just skips back to 19, and then plays that song even worse than before.

In conclusion, your CD is broken. It doesn't look scratched, so maybe your burner is fucked. Also, I'm ill, and in a bad mood. I think it's unlikely that there is any mood I would want to listen to this CD in, but this sure as hell isn't it. I might have put things slightly more politely if I wasn't pissed off and emptying two pints of mucous an hour into boxfulls of tissues.
Also, QHD, I am going to send you a CD, but I'm not making it until I feel less shitty.

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