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The OCD Soapbox

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Phelix:
It's oddly relieving to read so many other people's quirks. I wouldn't say I have bad OCD, but I definitely get bad cases of it when I'm stressed.

Holidays are horrible. I clean to gain control. Hell, there've been a few times where my mother deliberately upset me to set off a cleaning binge. Gah... those were pleasant. In regular life, if I start to feel out of control, if I start to worry or stress, I rearrange furniture. One week last year I completely rearranged my bedroom five times. My roommates didn't complain until I completely rearranged the common furniture.

At work, I cannot work until I get my desk into my pattern. I share a desk with two other people, so when I'm not there, they use the desk and usually leave it however they feel. I can't handle that. Whenever I get there after they've used my desk I have to clear the desk and start fresh. I file their things, I toss their trash, I wipe the desk with antibacterial cleaner, I spray the keyboard with canned air and then wipe the desk again, and then wipe the keyboard and mouse down, as well as the phone. At that point, I start setting up my pattern. I pull out my pen, my note pad, my files, and set them in their proper places. It completely freaks me out when someone uses my pen and puts it away incorrectly. I'm sure they use it when I'm not there, but I know when they put it away in the wrong spot. If I find my pen, or god help me, my files, in the incorrect location I have to disinfect them and then figure out who used them. Not so much the pen, but the files... I track down who used them, why, and make sure they know where the files belong. The worst thing is when someone takes my pen. Think Office Space and the red stapler. At the end of the day I put everything away in its proper space and do my best to make sure that the station is clean and ready for whomever uses it next.

Today, that general office need for order extended to our supply closet. I spent about two hours reorganizing a three by three room. I moved 70% of the things in the closet, wiped 90% of them down with disinfecting wipes, and removed and trashed about 20% of the things. It all started because someone left a box of pens in the wrong spot, which lead me to putting them in their proper location, where someone had misplaced felt tip pens, whose proper location was taken up by highlighters... and it went on. There are twelve shelves in our closet, I ended up relabeling most of them.

Gah... thinking about it now, and it looks crazy from the outside... let's just hope my supervisor likes the changes I made.

Anyhoo... I'm done rambling now about my crazy tendencies. Thank you all for sharing yours... it helped me. :)

piccolo14:
It's interesting that someone drew a correlation between Asperger's Syndrome/Autism and OCD. I'm diagnosed Asperger's (albeit very, very mild), and have always demonstrated obsessive and compulsive tendencies. I always just chalked it up to being highly neurotic. I might even have OCD, I don't know. However, since everyone else is sharing their quirks, I may as well.

I demonstrate certain compulsions, such as constantly checking the locks (This is the one; I'm constantly checking the doors and windows, and even the vents, to see if a thief or assailant could get in, to the point where it often keeps me up at nights; More on this below), and checking the burners. I crack my fingers constantly, have to have the lights at a certain brightness level, I bite my nails ridiculously short, at first signs of the slightest growth (and violently, vigorously attack hangnails), and I organize relentlessly.

My organization has been a bit of a problem. It only manifests in certain situations, usually revolving around entertainment, such as books, movies, and games. My desk is an absolute mess, but my video games and books are organized alphabetically by author/director/developer, and alphabetically by title, unless it's a series, which the series title is filed alphabetically, and the individual books/games/movies are organized by chronology of events (The Kingdom Under Fire games really threw me a loop; I traded them in without hardly playing them as a result), and all discs have to be rotated to the proper position (Text has to be upright). This pisses the hell out of roommates, as I'll refile their games and such, but it bothers me greatly when they aren't organized just so. However, that's the easy part to deal with. Whenever I go into a store's Electronics or Books section, I have to reorganize their products. I have to make sure every CD is level with every other CD, they're all pushed against the back of the case or hook, and alphabetized. This actually got me in trouble when I worked for Walmart, as they have a specific "zoning" system, which inconveniently requires everything to be pulled forward on shelves and and hangers. Blech.

The compulsions are fairly mild. With the exception of causing problems at work (I've mostly worked retail; See my comment on Walmart, as it goes for a decent few chains), it hasn't really affected my life very negatively, save for a few bloody cuticles and pissed off roommates. In fact, I can name one situation where the organizational compulsion helped; I once worked a temp receptionist gig at a place that had me reorganize their files. They loved my work. The real problems that I've had are the obsessions. See, I can deal with just the compulsions, but when I get obsessed, it usually revolves around a paranoid fantasy which makes me question whether it's not something a bit more serious than just OCD or Asperger's.

The first one I remember was The Dog. I once had a daydream as a child that a hulking, growling, slavering, beast of a Pomeranian was gonna break through my second story window and eat me. Typical childish nightmare, right? Nope. This fecking Living Monolith of a rat-dog stayed with me for six years, until we moved. Every night, Dad had to check to make sure the blinds were down and the curtains drawn, so the damned creature couldn't see me. I realized it was completely ridiculous, but it still kept me up nights.

After we moved, I was fine for a few years, save for the one obsession that never passed, an insane, crippling obsession with looking for signs of rejection and affront, that dominates my days, keeps me up nights, and has led to homelessness, job abandonment, and abandonment of friends and family (All based on paranoid delusions regarding each situation). However, I have my own suspicions regarding that, and very few of them have to with OCD. That's always been there, ever since I was a toddler. I didn't get my next real "obsession" until I was thirteen or so. That was when I played Resident Evil 2. Zombies were everywhere for two years, and I had to barricade my bedroom door and draw the blinds, and get up and check them every so often. I got over that one, and a new one crops up all the time, with each year or two usually yielding a new obsessive fantasy. Most of which revolve around locking and barricading my door and keeping the blinds and curtains drawn.

I don't know if it's OCD or OC quirks, or some other variety of fecked-up, or a mixture of any two of the aforementioned, but I figured I'd bring it up, since I completely relate to Hannelore.

TheEternalN00b:
My twitch is when people refer to obsessive or compulsive tendencies as OCD. OCD stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It is a psychological disorder that was actually quite adequately defined earlier on in this thread. OCD should not be used as in the sentence: "Oh man, I am so OCD about my socks, they have to be organized in just this way."
For those of you who truly have to live with the disorder, my sympathies.

Trillian:
I am rather late in approaching this thread (as per usual as I have only been actively posting for two days), but I just wanted to say that I am really glad that someone actually decided to discuss this topic, and that there have been many helpful posts to broaden the general understanding of the condition.  Hanners is rad.  I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder at 12, and currently I smoke as well as have piercings and a tattoo.  OCD manifests itself in many ways, and different people have different methods of dealing with it.  I do like that Hanners does seem to be pretty consistent...at least I can identify with her.

As The EternalNOOb pointed out, it is kind of funny how many people think they have obsessive compulsive disorder based off of certain quirks they have in their daily behavior.  In my experience, everyone has some vaguely obsessive behaviors.  The point in which it becomes OCD is when you feel like you can't control it and it is enough to completely hinder your ability to function (for example, my family came home from a trip and my sister threw her dirty clothes in the laundry room without sorting them or putting them in hampers.  I went into my room and passed out from exhaustion, but shortly afterward woke from a dead sleep in a panic because I realized subconsciously what had happened.  I couldn't go back to sleep until I had done all of the laundry because it bothered me so badly.  In case you hadn't noticed, I am big on organization, and that everything has a place and it should go there dangit!)   I find it to be rather difficult to try and explain the disorder when so many people have a rather off-kilter version of the disorder stuck in their minds.

Anyway, I do agree that Hanners is fairly consistent with the reality of the disorder.  She has he quirks, and I love her for them.  :) 

Naoko:
I'm late to thread, too, as Trillian said - I finally made an account yesterday, after reading QC for over a year and sometimes stalking the forum.

Anyway, I agree with Trillian and Eternaln00b's posts - tendencies =///= OCD. I don't know anybody with serious OCD, but a lot of people I closely know do have some kind of compulsive/obsessive behavior.

Actually, I have a lot of compulsive behaviors. It doesn't affect my life (except for people staring/calling me weird), and it doesn't actually take up any time from my day, so it's not really OCD. Still, I feel really unbalanced if I don't follow them.

Does anyone else have a need to feel balanced, whether you have OCD or just an odd tendency? That's my main problem, though it really doesn't bother me. It's just little things like having to shut both doors of a cabinet or fridge at the same time. Or, I have to make sure my feet walk the same way. If one foot skids across the ground or slips, I have to do the same with the other foot. If one foot touches the ground toe first instead of heel first, I have to touch the ground toe-first with the other foot. It especially applies to cracks, where if my heel touches a crack, I have to touch the next crack with the heel of my other foot, but if I touch the crack with a different part of my foot, then I have to touch it with the other part on the first foot. And it goes on. Extremely confusing, but I do that most of the time. If I'm focused on something, I usually don't pay attention to the cracks or my feet, and I don't go back to correct how I step if I get to where I'm going, so it doesn't take up extra time. It's just kind of odd.

Oh, and if I turn in a circle, I have to turn back around the other way. Like when going up multiple flights of stairs, you're eventually turning in circles, so I turn the other way around after finishing a flight of stairs. Or when getting into a car, if sitting down would cause a circle, I'd have to turn around, and THEN sit down. Does that make sense to people? This is the only time that people actually notice anything, actually.

But, it doesn't bother me at all, and they don't take up any time. So it's really not a disorder because it doesn't actually cause any problems or anxiety. All it does is make me feel unbalanced or awkward for a couple of minutes, or until something grabs my attention. They're just very weird tendencies I have, and I've heard that they're a common compulsion for people who seriously have OCD. In the end, I'd rather keep my odd ways of doing these things, hahah. For those of you who seriously have a disorder, good luck to you.


--- Quote --- But then I also have a thing where I have to sleep with my blanket covering my head otherwise I feel like someone is going to stab me in the head or something. I keep telling myself that a blanket isn't going to provide much protection if someone IS going to try to kill me in my sleep but that doesn't really work. Oh well...
 I also have the other common obsession (or is it a compulsion?) where if I touch one side of my face or something, I have to touch the other side as well.
 I breathe funniily, too. Sometimes I breathe in time to a song that's in my head or if I breathe in, I have to breathe out the same amount of air. I don't even notice I'm doing it until suddenly I listen to myself breathing.
--- End quote ---

Hey, I do those same things, too. I taught myself some weird ways of sleeping when I was a kid, and now I can't change them. No matter how hot it is, I REQUIRE having a blanket covering me, and my feet MUST be entirely covered. Otherwise I get that same "someone is going to kill me in my sleep" thing. Uncovered feet = death? Hahah. Kind of weird.

And... Hanners is awesome.

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