And to start this of, I'd like to mention, that if I were a greek god, my name would be Testicles.Sheeee-it! That's my line! I created a Greek ancestor when I was in my 20s and getting tired of the same old jokes on my last name. At Ellis Island, the ancestor, I said, was told that Testicles would not be acceptable in America. The jokes ended about then, but probably because those around me were growing up.
Nice try dough.
You guys just have no patients.True, but my impatiens is red, white and pink.
Did you guys hear about the dyslexic guy who walked into a bra?
Indeed. There'll be the devil to pay for that pun.I've always wondered why Satan never played for the Devils.
Are clerical garments surplice to requirements?
Not if they're trimmed to the right size with a miter saw.I suppose that would enable you to cope (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cope).
Not if they're trimmed to the right size with a miter saw.I suppose that would enable you to cope (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cope).
Probably Lenin towards impaling him.Not with all the appeals. It's a Stalin tactic.
But Ron is the keeper. His position is unique. Unless he ever played chaser, because that is the only position were there are three players playing it.
Is there a morel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morel) to this story?
Titanic, even.Oh come on! You're not even Troying!
Madness?You rang?
I can't smell it, but maybe I'm in de-Nile :claireface:I'll bet you're actually just se-nile.
Keema therapy.Oh.
It's ClaireDoge!
EDIT: ...oh. I hope I'm reading too much into this joke.Me too, hence my reaction :(
Let's Get This Straight From The Start, these puns were meant to be about band names, not song titles, any Misfits who refuse to follow these 15 Steps will be The Unforgiven.
Let's Get This Straight From The Start, these puns were meant to be about band names, not song titles, any Misfits who refuse to follow these 15 Steps will be The Unforgiven.
The most Deviant of the Transgressors will also be locked in an Iron Maiden, and the necks of any Survivor s will meet The Sword.
Comfortably Numb?
Oh dear, What I've Done.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/v/t1.0-9/10606288_10152582197853737_8903804657588767828_n.png?oh=9dfc36ba9803257185eb286735796a1a&oe=5500453A&__gda__=1426877551_9ae03e903de311a18f0c6cf64858a400)
No need to have a Tantalum over them though.
Whoever said this line of puns was a good idea was telling a Li.
Don't tell my mom, but for xmas I got her the Sherlock soundtrack, but since she doesn't know how to use iTunes, I had to buy the Cd.I wish you wouldn't use white text, it makes it Ni impossible to see.
I wish you wouldn't use white text, it makes it Ni impossible to see.
C-c-c-com-bo-beaker!Fixed that for U.
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/a49a8730304a219ec067b38b2a077342/tumblr_mscgd2Xo9w1sgs7r9o1_500.gif)Keep your Apple. I'll stick with Windoge (http://windoge.com).
Quiz: What do these two have in common?Anyone who doesn't get it, should have the balls to sack-up and admit it.
Anyone want some dessert? Pyrite?
GROAN
This morning it occurred to me: "What do vaginal thrush, and the rising sun have in common?"(click to show/hide)
Sorry, am I being obtuse?
Some people's trains of thought are far too linear. There's no need to be irrational, after all.
I don't know weather I can come up a suitable reply to that.
I got a stony silence from my friend when I suggested the movie adaptation could be called "The Soylents of the Lambs".I am jealous. If I didn't elicit at least a groan with such an excellent pun, I would feel I'd been fleeced.
Puns.So just stop at diez, amigo.
Not even once.
I'd argue that given the 11 or so different pronunciations of 'ought' in the English language whittling it down to a syllable with only two saves some confusion so you don't end up saying doonuts or duffnuts or, God save us, dupnuts.
(http://i.imgur.com/FnooNVf.jpg)
How dare you pan Dora's box.
It won't be over until we all agree it's over... by mutual accord
Certainly nothing worth getting high strung over, in any event.
Plenty of punning weft to do.
So you think it's spinning out of control?
Oh, great, then you'll make the puns shoot off like rockets into spaaaaaaaaaaaaace!
I keep meaning to avoid this thread, but I think I'm hooked.
it's amazing the path these puns take.
i mean, you couldn't planet.
... Are you implying that puns are Time Lords? Comet me, bro
Yeah, it doesn't help when they dwarf you.
Obi quiet, you, those puns are just fine. It doesn't Fett the Star Wars theme, but I find your punning capacacity QUITE Enterprising!
Obi quiet, you, those puns are just fine. It doesn't Fett the Star Wars theme, but I find your punning capacacity QUITE Enterprising!
Defiant of you to trek in that direction. Much as I like this turn, I hope we don't Klingon too long.
I'm lost (IN SPAAAAAAAACE!)
Maybe it was up to you to propel it forward all along.
I'm having trouble with this topic so my approach is to just flap about and wing it until something takes off.
Why did Google Car switch from MD5 to SHA512?
They wanted to reduce collisions.
Is that something to crow about?
I was going to make a Larry Bird pun, but I wondered if that'd be a cardinal sin.
Quit raven, you tit.
I can hardly swallow these puns.
Wren will it end?
I'm not storking you, but owl follow you henywhere.
You could try puffin your chest out.
But just remember that toucan play at that game.
Their might be some competition from another cockatoo.
I can never do that. I'm to chicken.
chaospersonified seems to be a bit of a quackpot.
*i will never stop making pubs
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
SOCRATES, HIMSELF, WAS PERMANENTLY PISSED...
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away;
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!
"Friday is payday. Saturday is play day. Sunday is pray day. We're trying to make Monday the 'all health breaks loose' day," said Sid Lerner, a former advertising executive who founded the Monday Campaigns.
Would a bookshelf of poetry be a folio outbreak?
Would a bookshelf of poetry be a folio outbreak?Be careful when reading books about undercooked meat. They're E-collated.
a poorly timed pun can make someone appear to be a right goose.Just so long as you didn't look up when they flu over.
Would a bookshelf of poetry be a folio outbreak?Be careful when reading books about undercooked meat. They're E-collated.
The NFL had an electronic football game a few months ago, and to distinguish it from next year's game they're putting letters after the name. It was the E-Bowl A.a poorly timed pun can make someone appear to be a right goose.Just so long as you didn't look up when they flu over.
Would a bookshelf of poetry be a folio outbreak?
I'll warn you now, keep Shakespeare off the shelf; he's kinda reckless with the spear. He'll probably knock the whole thing oeuvre
Would a bookshelf of poetry be a folio outbreak?Be careful when reading books about undercooked meat. They're E-collated.
The NFL had an electronic football game a few months ago, and to distinguish it from next year's game they're putting letters after the name. It was the E-Bowl A.a poorly timed pun can make someone appear to be a right goose.Just so long as you didn't look up when they flu over.
Now you're just trying to doctor the Thread.
The puns have their cold grippe on this thread.
Shall we set up some Wards?
Perhaps we should ping Guy Fieri to this thread to examine for conjunctivitis. :roll:
the bird puns were coot
the medical puns RN endless source of amusement
but I'd like tobiko-ing back to sushi puns
the bird puns were coot
the medical puns RN endless source of amusement
but I'd like tobiko-ing back to sushi puns
Oh, WELL DONE!
the above statement is not very punny.
nagano do that again.
A tip of the kappa to you.
Sashimi is the raw fish sort of sushi, yeah?sashimi is usually served as thin slices without rice. (or with rice in a separate bowl as a type of side dish)
Ayu! Stop pretending you can't hirame.
I'll show myself out. :claireface:
Are you sure such a shift is prudenchilada?
Last time I asked for butter in a Mexican restaurant the waitress said, "Butter. Por qué?"
I got nuttin'
Guess I'll just have to si where this goes..
*sigh* Only dropping in for entertainment, porque estoy un pocito a burrito.
I know how que is pronounced; I've spent time in Guatemala, Mexico, and Spain. I wasn't sure if YOU knew. I've never heard of Parkay. That was my mistake. I've heard more Matamoros spanish than I care to learn
Warning: I will eat burritos, regardless of size (Put that last bit through Google Translate)
I know how que is pronounced; I've spent time in Guatemala, Mexico, and Spain. I wasn't sure if YOU knew. I've never heard of Parkay. That was my mistake. I've heard more Matamoros spanish than I care to learn
...and that's where you lost me. What's "Matamoros Spanish"? I know a Trio Matamoros, but I don't think they ever did margarine commercials. :clairedoge:
Warning: I will eat burritos, regardless of size (Put that last bit through Google Translate)
Derp. I'm quite rusty. I was aiming for "I am bored", but ended up with making a pun on "I am boring/dull". Time to stop trying to make puns in languages that I haven't studied in 16 years.
Actually, according to the Oxford Spanish Dictionary, it would work the first way. Giggle Translate mucks things up quite often.
More the specific verb than the conujugation.
Don't let this linguistic diversion cinco the thread. A nueve of puns could wash over us at any moment!
Well, at least it isn't a Latin Lesson.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAfKFKBlZbM
That's not a very Venice thing to say.
But he had the Gaul to say it.
Garumphf
Oh, you basstard, are we back on fish?
You're right. Okay... breathe deeply... and exhale... Ohm...
Try a doctor, first. They might find a Curie for that Crick in your neck, if you're lucky
T'each his own I guess.
Noted
It's a studied response
Iwishicouldkern.
This thread shall be sans discussion of the typeface that shall not be named.
This thread is fontastic.
Impact? Seriously? Get with the Times. There's a lot of New fonts that aren't so old that the Romans were probably using them.
Font puns are very much to my Palatino. They are the Futura of this thread.
Sorry, I'm having a bit of trouble hearing you. Covered in LaTeX, after all.TeXnology puns, eh? I excel at those, or my name isn't Bob!
Helvetican think of some more puns
Sorry, I'm having a bit of trouble hearing you. Covered in LaTeX, after all.TeXnology puns, eh? I excel at those, or my name isn't Bob!
*sighs*
This thread is full of Dingbats.
Actually, dingbats is the proper typographical term for graphics used in typesetting. Webdings is just a typeface of dingbats. You'd know that if you would read a Bookman.
Things are getting a bit Cuckoo here.
Got you Crowing too.
Keep this up and you'll have us in stitches
What did i do when i wanted to see what gullible means? I looked it up! :claireface:
How did I escape Iraq?
I ran.
Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.
Why did the bartender push his wife off a cliff?
tequila
Every one of you has a little of me in your heart.
PS You should see a cardiologist about that.
Why are there no knock-knock jokes about freedom?
Because freedom rings.
An engineer, a physicist and a statistician are building a cannon to hit the target.
The engineer misses by 5m. The physicist misses by -5m. The statistician yells "BULLSEYE!".
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender tells him "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here". He doesn't react.
-I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
-When chemists die, they barium.
-Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
-How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
-I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
-This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
-I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
-I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
-They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
-PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.
-I posted 10 puns on an online forum hoping one would make the users laugh but no pun in-ten-did!
He's just fission for compliments
There is that, and he's not being a little boy about it.Are you calling me a fat man?
Either one would fit in a Bockscar, so I wouldn't necessarily take offense.There is that, and he's not being a little boy about it.Are you calling me a fat man?
Ow,ow,ow, I was cutting a block of wood and it slipped, a Sawtooth caught my knuckle and now I'm bleeding.
there's your Trinity.The Carrie, the Anne, and the Moss?
there's your Trinity.The Carrie, the Anne, and the Moss?
Introducing something neo! I like it! It seems unreal!I'm always up to my tricks! <--- Works better in an Australian accent
A bit CONventional
Ow,ow,ow, I was cutting a block of wood and it slipped, a Sawtooth caught my knuckle and now I'm bleeding.
I'm sure that's a sharp pun, but it's going straight over my head. Like, I'm sure it cuts right to the core, but I'm ignorant. I'd ask for an explanation, but unless you could work in a woodworking pun, I'd feel like you were off-topic
You're all coping better than I expected with this.
I just find their whole outlook so... Puritanical, you know?
I just find their whole outlook so... Puritanical, you know?
Sure, but some pine for the days when a young settler could take a break and play with his mutt under an elm or a mulberry... they think it was the acme of human existence.
So there will be no thanks giving from you for the pilgrims?
Bit Sharpe though
At least we're not going to make an outlaw out of you and send you far north.
Silent hill, huh? I'm guessing I'm imprisoned nearby, then. Do I get a Playstation?
That's no the gameboy
I heard he was bit Crazy...
Well, at least you're not going round in circles
If your house is cold, eat Mexican food. Use it fajitas.
If your house is cold, eat Mexican food. Use it fajitas.
The internet is a wonderful place. 24 hours a day, seven days a week, you can use it to groan loudly at a pun made by someone on the other side of the world.
These days the world really is like a disappointing fish and chips.It's covered in oil, leaves a bad taste in your mouth, and makes you want to vomit?
It's just a small plaice.
Pugelism, eh? Yer crucian for a bruisin. Hit me with your best shad. I bet you can't even leave a shiner on my cheek or bruise on my chinook.
Looks at both of you with a Sergeant Major face.
So if the image of the old woman in a chair were done in wood instead of oil, would we call her Whittler's Mother?
Well, at least she gives a fig.
Don't give up hope, Kugal; something will turnip.
Did you hear about the group of west coast ride sharing aficionados and lobbists who had their vacation in Southeast Asia ruined when real Sarin gas was accidentally used in a historical war reenactment causing massive civil unrest which lead to the flipping over of the only multi-person vehicle in the country?
The newspaper headline was "California Über Allies's Holiday in Cambodia ends in Chemical Warfare, Riot and destruction of a Police Truck"
:facepalm:
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/204/500103721_4aae8d436a.jpg)
Are we doing punk-themed stuff now? I wouldn't want to X out the possibility for FEAR there could be chances for more than I know, but I don't know if we could keep that up for long before we clash...
Well I'll be Damned. I'm sure there's a Killing Joke in there somewhere, unless someone gets touchy about their Public Image or otherwise ends up in a Jam.
Whyayeautta .............
Cerberus!
From Greece to Italy, I see you're Roman around quite a bit! Who are you, Alexander? Here to Hellenistic Period and back with you!Quite an odyssey you take in your quest to hector each other. Are you going to keep troying until you've dragged the conversation to Paris?
From Greece to Italy, I see you're Roman around quite a bit! Who are you, Alexander? Here to Hellenistic Period and back with you!Quite an odyssey you take in your quest to hector each other. Are you going to keep troying until you've dragged the conversation to Paris?
The puns that launched a thousand ships...
So you're saying that it's your Achilles heel?
Quoteso two sisters inherit a ranch. they decide to work on it a bit and after a while realize that they need a bull in order to help them around the place. so they gather together all the spare money they have—around four hundred dollars—and one sister looks at listings online and finds a man a while away who’s got a bull to sell. she decides that she’ll travel down to see him alone and tells her sister that she’ll send a telegram so that the sister can drive down with their truck if they are able to get the bull.
so the sister eventually reaches the man who’s selling his bull and asks what his price will be. he says, “listen. I won’t take a dollar less than three hundred and ninety-nine dollars.” so the sister agrees and pays him the amount, leaving her with one dollar. then she goes to the post office and asks to send a telegram back to her sister to let her know that she’s got the bull so her sister should come and pick them up. but when she asks the person at the counter, they tell her that the telegram costs a dollar per word. the sister only has one dollar so she picks a word carefully and sends the telegram.
what word does she pick?(click to show/hide)
(http://41.media.tumblr.com/aeac379351fb7ecc284f11e386ec763d/tumblr_nod3kdi7GP1tv0pt7o1_1280.jpg)
That's because you weren't in charge.
Aaaand the Thread comes to a crashing halt.
I'd make a comment about Puffy Pants, but that'd be just cruel.
That post was a bit out of range.
Maybe we should try a different mode.
Before you could only buy high ohm resistors. Now you have to legally swear you'll resist getting high on ohms.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CFtn0xqWYAAqkeW.jpg:large)
I just prefer to see the larger picture and be stout about it.
What Cesium sed. Now I'm starting to get a grep on this whole pun thing.
A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation.
“I think it’s raining,” says the man.
“No, it’s snowing,” replies the woman.
“How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!” exclaims the man. “Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?”
“Definitely raining,” Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile. “See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
I protest. These ball puns are absolutely foul.
You're just chicken.A line drive got sent toward me, but I managed to duck.
What do you get when there's no more coffee?(click to show/hide)
Oh, this topic is still around?
There's Nutella-ing how long it'll last
Whisky?
Well, that's that sauteed then
There's a lager issue there I think.
Just vamp it up then
What about Simple Minds?they're naughty by nature.
With all that traveling, I just hope his Motorhead don't blow up
With all that traveling, I just hope his Motorhead don't blow up
If it does I can swap it with a Apollo440 c.i. v8 for him.
I'd prefer a Range Rover
i can dig that.
If you do it with a digger, it won't be done dirt cheap.
Well, Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite, You Never Give Me Your Money. But, Here Comes the Sun.
And, in The End, Her Majesty's a pretty nice girl.
Y'know, I like the Beatles, but something in their music always felt buggy, you know? They were great, so you know, I let it be, but their later stuff felt weird.did it feel weird Within You Without You?
Maybe I'm amazed at such a post...maybe.
It doesn't matter Who you use.
Only if we use the Black Keys.
That was a Green Day indeed
Not really a pun, but I've always wanted to have three dogs and call them "come here", "stay" and "Fuck off".
Only an inbread would find that funny.
You Kneaded to take pictures
If you find a good recipe and sell it, you'll make plenty of dough.
Just so long as you remember to Baguette and store it in the Fridge
What is the most dangerous mountain on Earth?
The Antimatterhorn.
Just so long as you remember to Baguette and store it in the Fridge
Oof, that sounds cool, but don't you agree, storing it in the fridge makes it get stale faster?
(https://scontent.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/11046883_1114703795223936_3996959718884199937_n.jpg?oh=a6563bb9cf9162dd08e90c2fbe8e0f22&oe=56587048)
(https://scontent-lga1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xap1/v/l/t1.0-9/s480x480/10301122_833995469962225_5566337295664007836_n.png?oh=e48050d26e3c454afe8aca88d7499537&oe=567807F0)
Are we all going to crow about these bird puns? I'd pay a double eagle not to have to listen to that.
I'd pay a double eagle not to have to listen to that.
I'd pay a double eagle not to have to listen to that.
You can't expect results from such a poultry sum.
Well I'm not happy that you guys are poaching my puns. In fact I'm getting a bit steamed.
I guess you're right. I've been kind of hard boiled lately. Life just isn't over easy you know.
What do you get when you cross a Dragon Ball character with cattle?
A Vegeta bull! :clairedoge:
Put a steak in it.
(https://scontent-lga1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/11873628_1341699759192807_901194215253718413_n.jpg?oh=ef578413b73dab8561aaec4293e33c7c&oe=5639B904)
http://imgur.com/gallery/3zadW
Enjoy.
It'll never get anywhere if it doesn't get visibility.
I wonder if someone will come up with a Cornia one
I wonder if someone will come up with a Cornia oneI'm sorry to lecture you as if you were a pupil, but that should be "cornea". It is important to get these things retina forum like this.
I wonder if someone will come up with a Cornia oneI'm sorry to lecture you as if you were a pupil, but that should be "cornea". It is important to get these things retina forum like this.
Well if you don't want to keep going on, I suppose I could turn a blind eye to it.
There's an episode of Doc Martin in which one of his patients, feeling fatigued, self-treated for anemia when in fact she had the opposite problem, sky-high and symptom-causing ferritin levels.
In other words, trying to treat her problem, she made it worse.
Isn't it ironic?
These puns are good, but I hope we don't plateau.I think any suggestion we've plateaued isthmus taken.
I can't wait to get my portion of officially nuked turkey from russia
So basically you're just fielding some farm puns
I know that you were sowing the seeds hoping for some farm puns, but would it go against the grain if someone posted other puns? Some just find them way to corny.
Borscht!!!
I suppose soup based puns was a bit specific. It's barley bouillon enough to float anyway. I roux the day I tried to go there. Miso sorry to get us into this stew, and also that I spoke brief Jar-Jar Binks for the sake of a weak pun. Ramen hot water now, I think, and I'm struggling to think of a new pun riff. Pho-ck.
It... It seems that CHEESE soups are a thing, would that brie cheddar?
I suppose soup based puns was a bit specific. It's barley bouillon enough to float anyway. I roux the day I tried to go there. Miso sorry to get us into this stew, and also that I spoke brief Jar-Jar Binks for the sake of a weak pun. Ramen hot water now, I think, and I'm struggling to think of a new pun riff. Pho-ck.
It... It seems that CHEESE soups are a thing, would that brie cheddar?
Edam, that would be Tasty
There's a Wisconsin joke somewhere in there, but I'd rather not badger anyone about it.
Don't (Saint) Croix me, Kiwi Breath...Steven's* got a good Point. We shouldn't be Racine to make Wisconsin puns.
Now we're just getting catty
How did the Australians get to Arrakis? They started a spice program.It was started by bogans, clearly.
(wonders if chaospersonified has an encore post lined up)
Do eating french fries make you Belgian?
Edit: Whoa, I just wiki'd fries and apparently "chips" only refer to steak fries, and not all types of fries like I'd assumed.
Well, I did have to choke that one out. I was at a Darth of ideas.
(https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xaf1/v/t1.0-9/12313862_765036113627421_271763544945522701_n.jpg?oh=dfa21b79b31d63eea952e9fbd4ba9c87&oe=57119936)
But before you post it take another minute and Maul it over.
But before you post it take another minute and Maul it over.
I've never before found such a wretched hive of pun and villiany.
Wire you saying that?
Today I learned that you should never believe an atom. They make up everything.
Today I learned that you should never believe an atom. They make up everything.I began a plan to lose weight. I want to be an atomizer.
Was Balaam an example of talking out of one's ass?
Indeed, since it's genesis was 32 pages ago and shows no sign of any end times.
Europe now has 1 GB of free space.
Fiat lux!God, please provide inspiration photons of people in their hour of darkness. Lumen.
Someone on Jeph's Twitter feed pointed out that if Hannelore did break into houses and alphabetize people's bookshelves, then that would be organized crime.
(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14449024_1402458986435043_985989496780657163_n.jpg?oh=5d692bfe8177db7c8ae378b2b14d4b32&oe=58AADD5D)
I sought the serif!
(https://scontent-iad3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/14449024_1402458986435043_985989496780657163_n.jpg?oh=5d692bfe8177db7c8ae378b2b14d4b32&oe=58AADD5D)Quote from: Not Bob MarleyI sought the serif!
From http://imgur.com/gallery/t5LaE:
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they might have died from Avian Flu.
A bird pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be vehicular impacts.
However, during the detailed analysis it was noted that varying colors of paints appeared on the bird's beaks and claws. By analyzing these paint residues it was determined that 98% of the crows had been killed by impact with trucks, while only 2% were killed by an impact with a car.
MTA then hired an ornithological behaviorist to determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate percentages of truck kills versus car kills. He very quickly concluded the cause: When crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out crow in a nearby tree to warn of impending danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could shout "Cah", not a single one could shout "Truck".
Here's some fresh ground coffee to wake up with:
(http://i.imgur.com/TTH6JJp.jpg)
I looked up both of them and I still don't get it, I'm afraid.
Quick question.
Does anyone have any Ygrettes about Game of Thrones finishing for a year?
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “you’re in here alot, are you an alcoholic?”
The horse ponders for a minute and responds “I don’t think I am”
And poof he disappears
This is where philosophy students start to snicker, as they are familiar with Descartes postulate, “I think, therefore I am.”
But telling you that first would be putting Descartes before the horse
I dislike the Blue's Point Tower.
It has so many flaws.
I dislike the Blue's Point Tower.
It has so many flaws.
Kleptomaniacs always take things; literally.
Avoid diseases like the plague.
[15:25] <Mark_F> My band is called 1023MB. We haven't had a gig yet..
when cleaning your printer, gently place it in the tub and use proper Epson salts
From which metal should you never make bearings?(click to show/hide)
Did you hear the one about the arctic birds who ate an entire marijuana field?(click to show/hide)
What do you call it when somebody's kink is dressing up like trigonometric functions?(click to show/hide)
Seen on a billboard in Wisconsin: "To not eat beef would be a missteak."
when did the Japanese start eating eggs? a long たまご.
I came across a restaurant that served Arabic and Indian food. It was called the Taj Halal. I was tempted to go eat there just for that.There's a restaurant in North Sydney, at 88 West Street, named Eighty Ate...
Pretty sure this counts:
Who was the Greek god of getting in the way?
Obstacles.
The spokesperson.Rim-shot!
This bloody thread. :roll:
This bloody thread. :roll:
Hey, a good meat pun is a rare medium well done.
Confucius says:
It's good for girl to meet boy in park.
but it's better for boy to park meat in girl.
“you get a potion and the alchemist tells you ‘this potion will cure you’ and you're like 'hell yeah health potion’ and you drink it and turn into salami”
Don't have to be so rye about it mate.
Wry.
I went to a zoo and they only had one animal. It was a Shih Tzu.
I went to a zoo and they only had one animal. It was a Shih Tzu.
OT, but I've always wanted to breed Shih Tzus and Cocker Spaniels and sell the results as "shit-cocks".
pain staking would be driving a stake through the heart of a baguette also that so-called "pun" doesn't work at all when you read it out aloud nggghghhhhhhhh :psyduck:
Brute force is neither a solution nor a base for one.At least I'm not a mid-range computer + low-end pen.
I went to Southern California and had breakfast on the beach. It was the worst waffle I ever had: a sandy Eggo.
I felt I didn't know enough about excavating, so I got myself a digtionary.
I don't like trying new things, but I decided to try a pack of something that is not quite black tea. They shipped a case of it. It's bins oolong since I had tea that I like.Always assam to have something you enjoy.
Seen online:(click to show/hide)
Ah.(click to show/hide)
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What's that? You only accept positive numbers between zero and one under your square root symbol?Puns make me numb.
The WiFi password is LOWERCASE printed in upper-case... "Ceci n'est pas une pipe!"What's that? You only accept positive numbers between zero and one under your square root symbol?Puns make me numb.(click to show/hide)
If you gotta explain it, you know you've sylphed up.
More like a *groan* button, maybe. I think that’s what the Clairedog is for, though.
Longswords? I always think that Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA) missed out. They should have gone for Historical Ancient European Martial Arts or (HAEMA) for the blood magic.
Longswords? I always think that Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA) missed out. They should have gone for Historical Ancient European Martial Arts or (HAEMA) for the blood magic.
Longswords? I always think that Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA) missed out. They should have gone for Historical Ancient European Martial Arts or (HAEMA) for the blood magic.
No, the HAEMA is for when there's an accident and someone gets stabbed.
What is a pirate’s favorite letter?Okay, I have to steal that one.
You might think it's Rrrrrrrrrr, but their first love is the C
Did you hear that Russia made its own web browser? It's called Nyetscape.If you turn off the profanity-filter, it becomes Blyatscape.
I forget where I saw this. Might even have been here.
In Greek mythology, Chiron was a healer with the torso of a man and the lower body of a horse.
Did that make him the centaur for disease control?
Santa brought me an Apple Watch. It has an Activity app which tracks progress toward user-defined goals on minutes of brisk exercise, calories spent moving around, and how often I get up and move around.
It's on a circular display, so it displays circular progress bars. Meeting a goal is referred to as closing a ring.
I'd finished two of three daily goals and sent email to my computery friends that I was two-ring complete.
What is the study of Euros called?
Eurology.
when javascript finally dies she will be buried in the javascrypt