THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Is it cold in here? on 08 Aug 2013, 20:08
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"I'm so scatterbrained I lost track of my own liver", said Tom, disorganized.
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"I never felt so square", said the root
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"There goes my hat!" said Tom off the top of his head.
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"There's a hole in my head?" asked Tom, absentmindedly.
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"I thought I heard a voice talking about my breasts," Marigold said cannily.
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"I'm back," said Tom, swiftly.
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My flowers won't grow, said Tom lackadaisically.
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"The exorcist destroyed my best friend, and now that Prohibition passed I can't even drink to forget!" said Tom, dispirited.
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"I most definitely will find that Wolf." said Tom, showing dogged determination.
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"I am definitely your type! Face it!" said Tom boldly.
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His wife was staring at the toaster. "It's browning, Elizabeth, bear it!" Bob said poetically.
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^^^
Well worth the stretch.
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"We all groan at puns when the reach this stage.", Akima sighed theatrically.
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"You're a font of wisdom for these times," said the courier, seriphically.
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"What on earth is going on in this thread?" queried May, confusedly. :?
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A series of American adventure fiction for children in the early 1900s featured a character named Tom Swift. The form of humor named after him pairs up an adverb with a quote that fits it. For example, "It was YOUR job to change the light bulb", Tom said darkly.
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"What on earth is going on in this thread?" queried May, confusedly. :?
"This thread is thoroughly tangled!" said May with a snarl.
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"Barmymoo broke up with me!", said Tom, dismayed.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Swifty
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:D
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"I had never heard of Tom Swift, but I saw the pattern", observed Akima heuristically.
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"Look in the box!" said Schrödinger, cattily.
Inspired by today's Google doodle.
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"I can't see where the cat is and where it's going," said Heisenberg uncertainly.
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"You failed to make a point", said Tom bluntly.
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"Really, I though I made it clear", said Tom pointedly.
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"I wonder if we should maybe go camping", said Tom tentatively.
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"I'm feeling a bit sick," Tom said coughingly.
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"I'm stupid, a real dunderhead!" Tom said, redundantly.
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"I've never liked fishing", Tom carped.
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"I've always preferred Lamb" said Tom sheepishly.
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"All in favor? All opposed? The neighs have it," said Tom, hoarsely.
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"Should we put a stop to this?" Asked Tom haltingly.
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"I think that frog I just licked was poisonous," croaked Tom.
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I love that one.
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"Is it cold in here?" Tom said, moderatingly.
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"Could be him just playing around" Tom said gamely.
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"This is so cool!" Tom ejaculated excitedly.
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Ew.
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Way back in the day, it was a synonym of 'exclaimed' when used as a dialogue modifier. And yes, Tom Swift "ejaculated" a lot of lines.
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Just as "intercourse" was used for "conversation".
I guess someone could have ejaculated while engaged in intercourse...
Puns related to Oktoberfest celebrations in Oxford:
I really need to confront my fear of German sausages...
...but I fear the wurst!
When I ordered my sausage I had to wait. The chef told me
"The wurst is yet to come"
The little Brats are the Wurst
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"I am very hungry," rumbled Tom.
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Way back in the day, it was a synonym of 'exclaimed' when used as a dialogue modifier. And yes, Tom Swift "ejaculated" a lot of lines.
Yes, of course, but there's only one way that's a pun, hence the "Ew".
I stand by it.
Just not in it.
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Someone needs to do a Claireface with the Oktoberfest puns.
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I'm told there's a German-style café in London with the slogan "Our wurst is the best".
Look, I didn't think those up...
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Kat and I live just down the road from, and are frequent customers of, The Wurst Bar
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Well, there is a local Franchise here called Fritz's Wieners *Shrug*
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"Guŕncháng (灌肠), one of the Chinese words for sausage, also means enema", Tom choked.
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"I'll have the kielbasa", Tom mustered.
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"BBQ or Mustard?" Tom asked saucily.
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"Secret stadium sauce from Miller Park," Tom said with a whisper.
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"Cleaning mirrors is something I could see myself doing", Tom reflected.
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"They don't make cars or carnauba based sealant like they used to.", Tom waxed nostalgically.
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"What on earth is going on in this thread?" queried May, confusedly. :?
Are Swifties strictly a US thing?
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Pretty much, yeah.
It's also generational since Tom Swift as a literary character is almost forgotten now in the U.S., almost nobody under the age of 50 knows of him.
The only reason I know of him is because I read the entire Young Adult section in a very outdated small town library when I was a kid, they had (almost) the entire Tom Swift Jr. (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Swift,_Jr.) series, which I ate up like popcorn.
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"Carrie Nation visited my saloon", said Tom, dispirited.
EDIT: "I have to concentrate hard to make a camping trip work", said Tom intently.
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"I have the right to defend myself!", Tom shot back. <-- I'm not sure if this one fits the rules.
"I will make the incision here.", Tom said cuttingly.
"There is no moon tonight.", said Tom darkly.
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"Be careful, that thing is sharp!" said Tom pointedly
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"I have the right to defend myself!", Tom shot back. <-- I'm not sure if this one fits the rules.
Impressively.
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"This amputation will go smoothly", said Tom disarmingly.
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"I've shaved my head," Tom stated baldly.
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"I've got a Mustang now!" He said with a gallop in his step.
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"I've just been run over" Tom said flatly.
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"Build a bridge and get over it," Tom advised archly.
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"I think ED has weakened my sense of humor," ejaculated old Tom, seminally. "It gets limper by the year."
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"You call this a musical?" asked Les, miserably.
My wife just sent me a bunch of these.
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"Chewing tobacco is disgusting," Tom spat.
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"It feels like she just tore it out of my chest" said Tom, disheartened.
"These are my new breeding hens" said Tom, cockily. (Yes - I steered away from the obvious, here!) :)
"But I want MORE ferment grape!" Tom whined.
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"The flood washed away my bobsled track", said Tom, deluged.
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Bonus points for the pun, but that's a slippery slope...
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"E...ever...y..b..bone... in...m...my...bo...dy...sh...sh...shattered..." said Tom, disjointedly.
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"Those geese are really noisy," Tom cackled.
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"This place... hasn't seen an update... for over a fortnight," Tom too-weakly observed.
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"Every time I visit Paris I jump off a bridge!", said Tom, inSeine.
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"I didn't know that La Paz was in its own country", said Tom, obliviously.
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"I don't know if these plants are poison ivy but I will run through them anyway!", said Tom, rashly.
"I'm so glad those metal bars kept me from falling into the storm drain", said Tom, gratefully.
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"That's a beautiful tap," Tom gushed.
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"That's a big opening," Tom yawned.
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Tom Swifties Written By An Author Willing To Go To Any Lengths To Make A Tom Swifty Thus Resulting In Constructions That Often Require More Work For Readers Than For The Author (http://nothings.org/writing/swifty.html)
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Necro, but I thought this was a good one.
"I can't find my snakes again!", said Cleopatra, exasperated.
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"Build a bridge and get over it," Tom advised archly.
"Get over it", 厚目眠子 abridged.
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Beautiful!
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"Mind your step coming down the stairs!" said Tom, condescendingly.
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"Let me get you another drink," Tom replied.
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"I don't understand this matter," said Tom darkly.
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I just searched and it looks like this thread does not yet include the ultimate, perfect, Swiftie. The original Tom Swift was always building something.
"I'm building my own starship", said Tom, enterprisingly.