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Fun Stuff => BAND => Topic started by: pcp on 21 Mar 2006, 18:54

Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: pcp on 21 Mar 2006, 18:54
So a friend of mine, whose been in various adventure metal bands over the years, came to me with possibly the greatest idea I've ever heard: he and I are going to out-Dio Dio.  We've long talked about how most modern music is missing a major, key, nay essential and necessary ingredient--references to Tigers.  Lines like "ride the tiger / you can see his stripes but you know he's clean" are sadly lacking from otherwise very pleasant music.  I was thoroughly dissapointed by the fact that Belle and Sebastian's early album, "Tigermilk" hardly did those majestic beasts much justice...

After much recreational drug use, we've hammered out a few details.  The point of the entire song is that a medieval village is under attack from mythic dragons, who have broken their thousand-year-truce not to screw with them.  One brave soul is chosen among many to climb the highest mountain in the land, and venture deep within the palace of the mother-spirit, to catch a tiger and drink it's milk.  Yes, that's right, our song presupposes that drinking the milk of the regal tiger will grant one immortality.  The villager is urged by a gryphon to travel to the mountain, explaining:  "deep within the palace of the mother-spirit, lies the passion of the tiger and the secret of its milk."  After drinking the tiger's milk, with much difficulty in obtaining it, the villager forms a bond between humanity and the tiger race, and the final song of this over two-hour long concept album (featuring kick-ass "Eruope" style synth intros that go nowhere for ten minutes before some crotchety old English guy relates the history of the village and of tigers and dragons) is titled "Riding Tigers into Battle."

I'm thinking it's going to be the best album ever not released.  If everyone could listen to it, people fighting to "world peace" would be out of a job.  Just wanted to let y'all know.

Cheers,
pcp
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: pcp on 21 Mar 2006, 18:55
Also, we're thinking of adding something in about how if you make a White Russian with tiger milk instead of half-n-half you'll be drunk for the rest of your life.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Bastardous Bassist on 21 Mar 2006, 18:57
Rhapsody has probably already played that DnD campaign and is currently writing an album about their exploits.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: pcp on 21 Mar 2006, 19:03
Yeah, but did they specifically mention drinking the milk of the tiger?  'Cause that's our bread-n-butter!
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Bastardous Bassist on 21 Mar 2006, 19:05
I don't know.  It's pure supposition, but I would seriously not be at all surprised.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: rive gauche on 21 Mar 2006, 19:45
Is milk even that good for you?
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Hat on 21 Mar 2006, 22:09
Wait, so are you talking about a single song, or an entire concept album?

Because I am liking the idea of a concept album based on this, but I think you could take it a step further.

I am talking concept album TRILOGY, guys.

Album 1: Dragons invade, man climbs the mountain for the milk of the tiger, defeats the dragons.

Album 2: The man becomes corrupted, his mere mortal blood cannot contain the pure essence of tiger, and he begins to mentally and morally decay, ruling the landscape from his throne room, destroying all who would oppose him. Meanwhile, a young boy is raised by the tigers. The climax of this album would be an epic and traumatizing tale of how the boy was run down by the tyrants steeds, and left in a comatose state, to be nursed by his tiger mother

Album 3: The tigers wage a furious and bloody war on mankind, and many casualties are lost. The tyrant cannot be defeated by the tigers though, as their milk runs through his veins. Only a man can defeat the king, but no man is brave enough. No man.... has the heart of a tiger... Except one boy, who is in a coma. The kings daughter escapes the castle, to flee her arranged wedding to some ugly lord dude, and stumbles across the sanctuary the tigers have placed the boy in. Her kiss wakes him, and after some dirty tiger sex, he rises up and kills the tyrant in an epic and glorious battle.


Basicly, its the plot to Dragonheart, with Tigers instead of Dragons, with a bit of the Princess Bride and Snow White thrown in for good measure.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: pcp on 22 Mar 2006, 16:17
Hat, I'm going to talk to him about this as soon as possible.  Although, I think it would be best if an entire album were dedicated to the filthy tiger sex scene.  You know, for the kids...
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Kai on 23 Mar 2006, 14:12
This is quite possibly the BEST FUCKING THREAD EVER.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 23 Mar 2006, 15:06
i know for a fact this guy would buy that album. then i would burn it from him because i'm poor (thats my buddy johnny. his favorite word is "manowar" do the math)

Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Bastardous Bassist on 23 Mar 2006, 15:48
Quote from: Hat
I am talking concept album TRILOGY, guys.


Holy crap.  How Wagnerian, and since Wagner=power metal GOD, hellz yeah!
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: pcp on 26 Mar 2006, 15:59
Okay,

Sorry for the absence--but I've seriously been laying down some tracks for this project.  While I don't take it completely seriously, it is an awesome creative experience.  We even have a box of Tiger Milk bars from the eighties that my friend picked up from a novelty store on Woodward in Detroit.  We set it up on a little stool while we play--you know, to keep it real.  Will let you guys know when it's finished.  We already have a bitchin' ten-minute long synth-heavy dark section that hardly goes anywhere.  And then suddly there's a flourish and the beating of wings, as the mythical gryphon swoops down to carry the villager to the top of the mountain.

Also, "Riding Tiger's Into Battle" is currently getting it's bridge/spacey section worked on.

Cheers,
pcp
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Kai on 26 Mar 2006, 16:02
I will honestly pay for this.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: KharBevNor on 26 Mar 2006, 16:31
So will I, but only if there are ridiculous, ball grabbing yells and awesome solos.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: pcp on 26 Mar 2006, 17:16
Don't worry, there will be plenty of ball-grabbing yells and rip-tastic virtuouso-masturbatory guitar shredding.

Oh, and, not to mention, add to the mix MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE-STYLE RAP!  Imagine one hand signifying adventure metal, and another hand representin' hardcore wrestler-hip-hop, and the two of them coming together in a tightly-knit double-super-fist of justice and live-action-regal-fantasy circa the Flemish renassaince...  I just came in my fucking pants.

Cheers,
pcp
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: pcp on 26 Mar 2006, 17:18
(http://www.kalyx.com/store/images/40039.jpg)

That's right...
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Kai on 26 Mar 2006, 19:41
OH SHIZ I'VE SEEN THOSE
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: DannoHung on 28 Mar 2006, 16:15
Dude, this is going to be the greatest album trilogy in the History of Ever.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Nemba on 06 Apr 2006, 04:27
This looks to be fucking awesome. Keep it up. I will buy this, no matter how much it would cost to send it here.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: pcp on 13 Apr 2006, 17:09
UPDATE:

Alright, I've been working on the album here and there with a friend of mine.  So far, between the two of us, we're working on over 20 side-projects in the Detroit Metro area.  It gets a little tiring, taking into consideration that both of us have full-time jobs, as well.

Anyway, the friend has a "band" that he did with Garageband called "Corner Fury Hug" which is pretty awesome--he wrote a song about the movie "End of Days."  It kicks.  We're still writing it and doing some sparse recording.  We'll probably get down to brass tacks in June.  Thankfully, the concept hasn't had any major changes in the last month, so that's cool.

Thanks for the support!

Cheers
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Trollstormur on 13 Apr 2006, 17:52
How did I miss this concentrated AWESOME?
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Hat on 16 Apr 2006, 01:51
I am so damn interested in this, but you haven't answered the most vital question:

How many vocal tracks are being layered in harmony?

This is quite possibly the most important question EVER
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Oli on 16 Apr 2006, 12:38
HOLSY SHIZZNIT!

TIGER! MILK! ALBUM! TRILOGY!

HAGLALGLALGALALGLA!

:-):-)!

Albums like this are the klind of metal I enjoy. I don't listen to metal like this enough!
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: pcp on 17 Apr 2006, 17:29
We're thinking of a 6 to 10 part harmony for several sections.  It's going to blow people's minds.  WE'RE actually not sure if we can take it, so we're going to start off with six, and possibly move our way up to ten parts in the bridge of "Riding Tigers Into Battle."

pcp
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: E. Spaceman on 17 Apr 2006, 22:40
Quote from: pcp
We're thinking of a 6 to 10 part harmony for several sections.  It's going to blow people's minds.  WE'RE actually not sure if we can take it, so we're going to start off with six, and possibly move our way up to ten parts in the bridge of "Riding Tigers Into Battle."

pcp


I demand a full choir of satanic gregorian monks to sing it.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Hat on 18 Apr 2006, 03:07
Quote from: pcp
and possibly move our way up to ten parts in the bridge of "Riding Tigers Into Battle."



Oh man, I just climaxed my pants.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: öde on 18 Apr 2006, 07:57
I've had it with these motherfucking tigers in this motherfucking battle!

Yes, it needs a Samuel L Jackson line in it.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: KharBevNor on 18 Apr 2006, 10:10
Quote from: pcp

Oh, and, not to mention, add to the mix MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE-STYLE RAP!  Imagine one hand signifying adventure metal, and another hand representin' hardcore wrestler-hip-hop, and the two of them coming together in a tightly-knit double-super-fist of justice and live-action-regal-fantasy circa the Flemish renassaince...  I just came in my fucking pants.


Have you heard Hulk Hogans album?
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: BeoPuppy on 18 Apr 2006, 10:32
Quote from: KharBevNor

Have you heard Hulk Hogans album?


You're kidding right?
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: KharBevNor on 18 Apr 2006, 10:48
(http://sydlexia.com/imagesandstuff/hulkamania/hulkrules.jpg)

(http://sydlexia.com/imagesandstuff/hulkamania/hulkrulesback.jpg)

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000008PE1/104-6122793-4598358?v=glance&n=5174

Simultaneously one of the best and worst albums of all time.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Inlander on 18 Apr 2006, 17:37
"Stop stealing our fucking bandwidth."  Hehehe.
Title: Dio Was On To Something (Tigers)
Post by: Kai on 18 Apr 2006, 17:41
Quote from: KharBevNor
Quote from: pcp

Oh, and, not to mention, add to the mix MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE-STYLE RAP!  Imagine one hand signifying adventure metal, and another hand representin' hardcore wrestler-hip-hop, and the two of them coming together in a tightly-knit double-super-fist of justice and live-action-regal-fantasy circa the Flemish renassaince...  I just came in my fucking pants.


Have you heard Hulk Hogans album?



I TOTALLY OWN THAT


Although I was pretty heartbroken when I realized it didn't have his theme song.


I AM A REAL AMERICAN