THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => ENJOY => Topic started by: not a pimecone on 14 Sep 2006, 21:13
-
A lot of you guys seem to like Futurama and Homestarrunner, and other cool and funny stuff like that. So what is your favourite hilarious quote from a cartoon, movie, TV show, stupid/funny person etc.?
For example,
Black Books:
Customer: "You know, I'm probably getting a lot of second hand smoke from you."
Bernard: "It's ok, just by me a drink sometime..."
Futurama:
Bender: Of all the friends I've had, you're the first!
Futurama:
Bender: I have to drink to keep my fuel cells charged...
Fry: So what's with the cigars?
Bender: They make me look cool...
Homestarrunner:
Strongbad: Where have you been? I saw you walk past like 5 or 6 times...
Homestar: Oh, I doubt it. I drove.
Strongbad: You don't even have a car!
Homestar: Yeah, you're probably right...
Ok, that's all I can think of right now...
-
Just to let you know, we have already had this thread, but... you're new.
Futurama
Nixon: "Get those bums!"
Bender: "Well, we're boned!"
Leela: "Can't we get away in the ship?"
Prof: "I suppose it is technically possible, though I am already in my pajamas."
Early Futurama (first episode)
-
Black Books:
*bernard is in the bath*
Bernard: MANNY! Where's my toast!
*one of those arm things pops into the bathroom with toast on it*
By the way, i called my hamster Bernard after the Black Books guy ^.^
-
Bernard: "Manny, do you have a tower of soup for me?!"
(Manny triumphantly brings Bernard a tower of soup)
Bernard: "What's this? Where are the turrets? It's RUBBISH!" (flings soup)
Bernard: "My oven can cook anything. My oven can cook... BITS OF OVEN!"
-
"Ficht ihr nicht mit der Raketemensch!"
Or whatever the exact quote was. It made me laugh a lot.
-
Heh, more Black Books fans huh?
Bernard: "You know what you are? A beard with an idiot hanging off it."
"Oh the songs, Jim. Ohh! They'd melt your face!"
I'd pay good money to find that in .gif or t-shirt form.
Lastly, one from Dylan Moran that has alway made me chuckle:
"I love what you've done with the place, but this place is a prison, essentially, as much as you all like to deny it. I've seen insects with kneepads and you live approximately three quarters of a mile away from the sun." - On Australia :)
-
Eris and I just had a gabbly conversation full of black books quotes. Here's some of the highlights:
I can't even get a refund because it's full of bloody spoons!
FLAKE FLAKE FLAKE FLAKE FLAKE
I ATE ALL YOUR BEES
Fucker
My coordinates are... BOOKSHOP!
What other grown man makes soldiers from his runny egg and divides them into rank?
Don't touch the colonel! It'll upset the rest of the men...
I'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It's amazing I'm here at all.
She thinks I'm some sort of reclusive genius. She's going to very dissapointed when she discovers that I'm a reclusive wanker
No! No! You're my summer girlfriend - you don't get angry. You throw your hair back and laugh as we bicycle around the Cotswolds in a taxi. You flick the cherry off the pie and only eat the cream because that's what Aunty Nibs used to do
"There's nothing wrong with my mind!" "You're wearing an accordian."
-
Classic Simpsons:
Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called... "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."
Lionel Hutz: Oh no, we've drawn Judge Schneider.
Marge: Is that bad?
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Lionel Hutz: Well...if you replace the word "accidentally" with the word "repeatedly" and the word "dog" with "son"...
Lenny: Hey Einstein, put down your reading. It's lunchtime!
Homer: Ah, you go ahead.
Lenny: Hey, you don't want to eat? What did you do, get one of those stomach staples?
Homer: As Tolstoi said in Quotable Notables, "Give me learning, sir, and you may keep your black bread."
Monorail operator 1: Hey, can't we just turn off the power?
Monorail operator 2: No such luck. It's solar powered.
Monorail operator 1: Solar power! When will they learn...
And a few Ralph Wiggums:
Me fail english? That's unpossible!
I bent my wookie!
I'm a brick!
Yay, sleep! That's where I'm a Viking.
-
Homer Simpson: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
-
Simpsons again:
Jebediah Springfield: A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man!
Mrs. Krabappel: I never heard that word "embiggens" before I came to Springfield.
Ms. Hoover: I don't understand why! It's a perfectly cromulent word!
My favorite will always be Mr. Burns' old-timeyness:
Burns: You there! Fill it up with Petroleum Distillate and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste!
Burns: No, No! I thought, I'd, um, chauffeur myself tonight? I mean, how hard can it be? I'm sure the manual will indicate which lever is the velocitator and which the deceleratrix, hm?
-
The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh...
Donny: I am the walrus.
The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say...
Walter: That fucking bitch...
The Dude: Oh yeah!
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!
Donny: What the fuck is he talking about, Dude?
Jesus: You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.
The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
Jesus: Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Walter Sobchak: Eight-year-olds, Dude.
One of my favorite films.[/quote]
-
Two related jokes (guess the theme):
Futurama:
Robot Devil: And they keep touching me...in places
Fry: Yeah they get around alright.
Family Guy:
Peter: Why did the dinasours die?
Museum guy: Because you play with yourself at night.
-
Haha! A sampling of styles and wit!
Rocky: Bullwinkle, do you know what an A-Bomb is?
Bullwinkle: Sure, a bomb is what some people call our show.
Rocky: I don't think that's very funny.
Bullwinkle: Neither do they apparently.
Rocky: Bullwinkle, did you forget the plot again?
Bullwinkle: In a word, you said it.
Rocky: That's three words.
Bullwinkle: I'm a heavy tipper
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meatwad: This one time I rent me a pressure washer, start my own business called "Meatwad Pressure Washing." But then I's told, "You got to have a license for that." I said, "License? I ain't even s'posed to be in this country!" And then he got all mad.
Carl: I'm certainly not gonna sign for any more packages with the word "Congo" written in blood.
Master Shake: I got rid of my teeth at a young age because... I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gwendolyn: In matters of utmost importance, style, not sincerity, is the vital thing.
Lady Bracknell: To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both looks like carelessness.
Jack: Good heavens, I suppose a man may eat his own muffins in his own garden.
Algy: But you have just said it was perfectly heartless to eat muffins!
Jack: I said it was perfectly heartless of you under the circumstances. That is a very different thing.
Algy: That may be, but the muffins are the same!
-
Here's one from Snatch.
Boris: Heavy is good. Heavy is sign of reliability. And if it doesn't work you can always hit him with it.
-
For those of you who dont know Quads! your missing out... (Sure its old, but i like it)
Reilly: I dunno if i'd be comfortable with you being, as my mother used to say
*Puts on high pitched voice* one of those homosexuals
Spalding: Look, number one, i'm a pro, two, we're all homosexual, and you haven't got any sensation in your arse anyway
Reilly: Hmm, fair enough, your hired
(Reilly = Recently cripped quadraplegic
Spalding = Big gay Australian carer/nurse)
-
Black Books;
Fran: So what's it like then? The fags and booze.
Bernard: Well, to be honest, after years of smoking and drinking, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...
Fran: [Nodding, smiling] Yep...
Bernard: You know, just sometimes, in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that four hundredth glass of cornershop piss at 3am, you do sometimes look at yourself and think...
Fran: [Still nodding] Yep...
Bernard: ... this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
Gerald: [To Bernard] Oh, you remember Jimbo, don't you?
Bernard: I'm not sure... [to Jimbo] What do you do?
Gerald: No, he's our son.
Bernard: Oh thank god. I thought you had a disease! Oh, this is a child!
Fran: Okay, if I told you that the walls of my flat were actually moving in, would you think I was strange?
Bernard: No, I'd ask you to come round and look after my small children.
Fran: Look, if you don't believe me you can come around tonight and we'll watch the wall!
Manny: Don't be ridiculous, we'll be staying in and watching the thermometer tonight. Won't we, Bernard? Eh? Eh? Won't we?
Bernard: I don't know, it's an impossible choice. Walls, thermometers, I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.
-
Another One from Snatch:
"What in the hell is that?!?"
"This is a shotgun, Soloman."
"That is a fucking anti-aircraft gun, Vincent!"
Some favorites from Aqua Teen:
"Try working the belt without these: the instructinons."
"I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!"
"Man, why doesn't it work on him?"
"Because those are Loverboy lyrics, Err. And Loverboy has always sucked."
"Shake told me to go in the freezer 'cuz there was a carnival in there. Ain't no carnival in there, it's a damn freezer! I got freezer burn and I got pushed up against a chicken..."
-
"I will have you boy, even if it must be by robbery!" - Uncle Monty in Withnail & I ... so many good lines, including most everything Danny the Dealer says.
"Will there ever be a boy born that can swim faster than a shark?" - Gareth Keenan, The Office
"Kicked the brown door in, painted it white on the way out!" - Nathan Barley bragging about a conquest that never actually happened, Nathan Barley
"Tell them I hate them!" - Prof. Farnsworth sees the Unka Lunkas, Futurama
News Anchorman: You must be very appreciative of this woman. She's like the mother that lifted the Volkswagon off her child, except you are the Volkswagon and the child is the child in all of us!
Jay: What are you talking about?
News Anchorman: I don't know. I was hired for my looks.
- after Jay is rescued from a fire by his make-up artist, The Critic
"He is not Ganesh! Ganesh is graceful!" - A wedding guest exposing Homer, The Simpsons
Can't pick one line from This Is Spinal Tap... that'll do for now.
-
YOU'VE BEEN READING MY BLOG
-"Zarf," All My Children
-
Snatch:
He's the get away driver? What the FUCK can he get away from?
one of my favourite simpsons quotes:
Marge: Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: I think I'm blind.
Office Space:
Michael: I told those fudge packers that I liked Michael Bolton's music!
-
CUSTOMER: Those books over there. The leatherbound ones.
BERNARD: Yes, the complete works of Charles Dickens.
CUSTOMER: Are they real leather?
BERNARD: They're real Dickens.
CUSTOMER: I have to know if they're real leather because they have to go with a sofa. Everything else in my house is real. I'll give
you 200 pounds for them.
BERNARD: Are they leatherbound pounds?
CUSTOMER: No.
BERNARD: Sorry, I need leatherbound pounds to go with my wallet.
-
"Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking on in there?"
-
Southpark season 10, episode 8,
Butters: i don't play world of warcraft
Cartman: butters you said you're on your computer all the time
Butters: but i'm playing hello kitty island adventure
Cartman: butters, go buy WoW install it on your computer and join the online sensation before we all kill you.
-
ZAP: So the toilet seat is like the uncle or something?
-
Sealab 2021:
"I knew this day would come... dopplegangers!"
"Nice try doppleganger. Save it for queen Dopplepopolis"
-
Futurama Season 1, Episode 7 "My Three Suns"
FRY: This is just like the story of The Grasshopper and the Octopus! "All year long the Grasshoper kept burying acorns for winter while the Octopus just mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came and the Grasshopper died and the Octopus ate all his acorns. And also he got a race-car!" Is any of this getting through to you?
-
This is from Firefly. I thought this scene was soooo funny when River trys to "fix" Shepard'a bible
Shepard: What are we up to, sweetheart?
River: Fixing your Bible.
Shepard: I, um… What?
[Pan over to River, who works on a book with pens, brushes, and loose pages.]
River: Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics… doesn't make sense.
Shepard: No, no. You - you can't...
River: So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem.
Shepard: Really?
River: We'll have to call it "early quantum state phenomenon". Only way to fit 5,000 species of mammals on the same boat.
. . .
Shepard: River, you don't… fix the Bible.
River: It's broken. It doesn't make sense.
-
Saved.
-
Boondock Saints is FULL of quotable lines...
"I'll tip her!"
"Wyatt FUCKING Earp!"
and other great Rocco-isms...
as well as my favorite scene in the whole movie,
"Well...it certainly illustrates the diversity of the word..."
-
One of the best quotes ever from Futurama:
Zap: It was almost the perfect crime....except you forgot one thing: rock crushes scissors...but paper covers rock...and scissors cuts paper! Kiff...we have a conundrum.
Kiff: Ughn....
Zap: Search them for paper! And bring me a rock!
-
Futurama
Ambassador of the Neutral Planet: If I do not survive, tell my wife "Hello."
And again,
Ambassador of the Neutral Planet: All I know is my gut says maybe!
-
"Its a beige alert"
-
My one need to be seen.
(http://img280.imageshack.us/img280/4194/familyguyaverageretardedcreationistpv1.png)
-
Invader Zim
ZIM: I have a MIGHTY NEED to use the bathroom facilities once again!!!!
-
Boondock Saints has so many good ones.
"why dont you make like a tree....and get the fuck out!?!?!?"
-
My favorite Homestar one.
Strong Bad: I didn't know you shaved.
Homestar: Oh, I don't. It's cinnamon.
-
"You can't just have your characters state how they're feeling! That makes me feel angry!- Robot Devil, Futurama
"I can hardly keep my eyes open.."
"I can hardly keep my pee-hole open.." Michael Ian Black and Michael Showalter, Stella.
"If you don't start making sense right now I am takin' out my weiner and I will SMACK YOU DOWN." Michael Ian Black,Stella.
"Fine mister ZOOKEEPER.. we'll go back to our CAGE." Michael Ian Black, Stella.
One more.. "I haven't laughed that hard since my last BUSSINESS TRANSACTION!" David Wain, Stella.
-
From Firefly
Mal, sitting naked and alone on a rock in the desert
"Yep, THAT could have gone better!"
-
Also from Firefly
River's trying to eat something tied to a stick with string
"This food is problematic"
-
Simpsons:
"Aw, I wanted a peanut!"
"Dad, my basketball's stuck on the roof!"
*Homer shoots basketball; falls to the ground and deflates*
*points gun back at ceiling*
"want me to get the cat down?"
"No thanks!"
Braveheart:
"We make spears... twice as long as any man."
"But some mean are longer than others."
"Ah, your mum been telling stories about me again, then?"
"Yes, Father, I'll ask him! The Almighty says, 'Stop changing the subject and answer the fuckin' question.' "
"The Almighty says he can get me out of this situation, but he's pretty sure you're fucked."
Snatch (again):
"Look, boys, the deal was you bought it as you saw it. I've helped you as much as I'm gonna help ye."
"I think-..."
"I think ye best be off while ye still got the legs to carry ye."
"Nobody-..."
"Nobody brings a fella like ye with 'em unless they're tryin' ta say something without usin' words."
"Look, Mickey, we'll sell you back the caravan and we can just be off."
"What the fuck would I want with a caravan that's got no fuckin' wheels?"
-
If you havent watched Avatar, it can be hilarious:
Aang: "Wait! My friends need to suck on those frogs!"
Sokka: [hunting a cute baby animal] You're awfully cute. But unfortunetly for you, your made of meat.
Katara: You've been hallucinating on cactus juice all day, and now you lick something you find stuck to the wall of a cave?
Sokka: I have a natural curiosity.
Sokka: [while hallucinating] Drink cactus juice! It'll quench ya!
[runs around]
Sokka: Nothing's quenchier!
[while doing 'the worm']
Sokka: It's the quenchiest!
-
"They need to create a new, all purpose medication, and call it.. FUCKITOL. 'I don't feel anything, I don't want to do anything, Fuckitol.' " Robin Williams.
"The only way that marijuana is a perfromance enhancing drug is if there's a big fuckin' Hershey Bar at the end of the run." Robin Williams.
"Michael Ian Black: I'm gonna PIG out." (Making dumb animal puns.)
"David Wain:Well, can you be a DEER and help me out with this?"
"Michael Showalter: Hey, have you guys ever touched a dog's balls?"
(Silence)
"Michael Showalter: I.. I thought we were talking about animals." - Stella.
-
well technically this is off a radio serial (the goons) but...
There should be a law against trains blowing off steam while people are wear kilts!
-
fifth element:
Korben Dallas: Good thing for me it's not loaded.
Mugger: [giggles] What do you mean it's not loaded?
Korben Dallas: You have to... push that yellow button to load it.
Mugger: [pauses, then laughs hesitantly]
Korben Dallas: Take your time.
Police: Are you classified as human?
Korben Dallas: Negative, I am a meat popsicle.
Mr. Kim: You are fired. Oh.
Korben Dallas: Well, at least I won lunch.
-
Futurama: [Al Gore is playing Dungeons & Dragons]
Al Gore: I'm a 10th level Vice President.
-
"Stop, please... the spirit is willing but the flesh is... spongy and bruised..." Zapp Brannigan
"You mean "Wanna-bang-go!" Quagmire
"Damn you vile woman!" Stewie
"I've got a present for you. I'll give you a hint. It's in my daiper and it's not a toaster!" Stewie
You gotta love that little guy aintcha!
Joe
-
Family Guy
Peter: "How about that side-boob? Do you like that side-boob? You shouldn't, because that's my side-boob."
-
Malcolm Reynolds, Serenity
"We might run into some turbulence and then explode."
Stewie Griffin, Family Guy
"It's not that I want to kill Lois, it's just that I want her not to be alive. Anymore. Sometimes I wonder if all women are this difficult. Then I think: Wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual?"
Superman, Family Guy
"Yeah, a hooker made a crack about me being faster than a speeding bullet and I broke her in half."
-
(From Futurama)
Lila: We have to save two of every animal and put them on the spaceship
Bender: Why two?
(Lila whispers why to Bender. Bender laughs.)
=PPPP
-
Oh and from Lois & Clark:
Lois (to Clark): All right, maybe somewhere very deep inside me is some eensy-weensy, microcosmic-although highly unlikely-possibility that I feel some sort of unmotivated, complete unrealistic attraction to you.
-
Aqua Teen again
Frylock: "Wait, I hear something!"
Master Shake: *far off* "...gold!"
Frylock: "He's alive!"
Meatwad: "damn it."
MothMonsterMan: "Look, I just want you to turn on the light."
Shake: "I do not have the blood you seek!"
Dr. Weird: "Gentlemen... Behold... CORN!"
Steve: "Well, I am pretty hungry-"
*corncobs impale Steve*
Dr. Weird: "Muahahahahahaha!"
Dr. Weird: "Gentlemen, behold... MORE CORN!"
Steve: "..."
Dr. Weird: "This time, it'll be DIFFERENT!"
*Steve walks up to the corn and is impaled again*
Dr. Weird: "Muahahahahahaha! IT'S NOT DIFFERENT AT ALL, IS IT STEVE?"
-
jack - jack of fables
"get that shocked look off you face just because she's an insane killer dosn't mean i wasn't going to sleep with her"
the goons
of course it's a mole jsut look at that sign around it's neck
hmmm... mole L-I-O-N...mole L-I-O-N
so what does it say
(from distance) LION!
-
Someone else quoted Robin Williams, and I thought of another one:
"The Canadian dollar is called the Looney. How can you take an economic crisis seriously?
'the Looney is down today'
'(Daffy Duck impersonation) oh, how sad for you!'"
-
Bill Bailey is my favourite comedian. This, in my opinion, is the best metaphor evar. It could only be better if it involved unicorns. (Slightly paraphrased, from the Cosmic Jam DVD).
"And then a thought hit me, like a sponge thrown at an old Albanian man on his way into town to discuss the irrigation plan that will bring his village prosperity so that one day the young boy who threw the sponge at the old man can fly to Weston-super-Mare for an irrigation conference."
That was not even the funniest part, but it is the only part I can remember (it was three am, me memory gets a tad fuzzuzzy at that hour).
-
Most dialogs and scenes are great, so I'll pick only the IMHO best.
Daria:
Helen (to Daria): We tell you over and over again that you're wonderful and you just... don't... get it! (slams fists on table) What's wrong with you?!
Daria: Don't worry. I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake.
Jake: I'll say!
Daria: I have low esteem for everyone else.
Jane: This is just like a high school.
Daria: You know, I get the feeling we'll be saying that all our lives.
St. Patrick's Day: It only seems like high school. Actually, it's much worse.
Jane: *That's* what we'll be saying all our lives.
Marina - Daria? What about your goal?
Daria - Um, I don't have any.
Marina - Oh, come, Daria. You must have some goal.
Daria - My goal is not to wake up at 40 with the bitter realization that I've wasted my life in a job I hate because I was forced to decide on a career in my teens.
Helen - Daria, did you take a career aptitude test?
(Daria hands paper to Helen)
Helen - A mortician?!
Daria - Hey, it's not my fault. Neck model was already taken. (looks at Quinn)
Helen - "Your lack of interest in personal interaction makes you an ideal candidate for working with the dead."
Daria, have you given any thought to your career plans?
Daria - I guess I'll just wait around for people to kick the bucket.
Helen - I can't believe you're not more ambitious.
Daria - You want me to kill people to drum up business?
Christopher Titus:
According to the Los Angeles Times, 63% of families in America are now considered dysfunctional. That means that... I'm in the majority! It's the people with the mom, dad, brother, sister, white picket fence, those people are the *freaks*!
Be normal, and the crowd will accept you. Be deranged, and they will make you their leader.
Every great man was thought to be insane before he changed the world. Some never changed the world. They were just insane.
My dad's full of encouragement and support. It just feels like abandonment and neglect.
I don't fail. I succeed at finding what doesn't work.
A crappy life is a great excuse to live a crappy life.
Always apologize first--it annoys the crap out of people.
Everyone should think for themselves. I learned that in a book I bought called "Everyone Should Think For Themselves".
"Losing builds character." You know who said that? A loser!
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry, and the world laughs harder.
Everyone has an enemy. It's why God gave us baseball bats. Well, He gave us trees, but we knew what He meant.
The only way to tell my Dad something is to write it on a note, and tie it to a brick, and throw it through a window. Of course, now Dad's armed with a brick.
We are brought into this world cold, weak, and helpless. Then it gets worse.
Passion, manners, and 80 ounces of beer will win the heart of any woman. And if it doesn't, you'll be too hammered to remember.
Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living. My dad said, "Booty - mmm mmm."
Christopher Titus: Bad news has never been broken gently in my family. Because, breaking it gently takes a few extra seconds. And who's got that kinda time? Hey, we maybe failures, but we are very busy.
(flashback)
Ken Titus: I got a little story I wanna tell you. Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a truck this morning!
Christopher Titus: All he does is mess with people's minds.
Ken Titus: You're right. I do.
Christopher Titus: See, you're doing it right now!
Ken Titus: No, I'm not.
Christopher Titus: Yes, you are.
Ken Titus: All right, I am.
Christopher Titus: Stop it!
Christopher Titus: What do you mean, "Dad is dead"?
Dave Titus: I think... dad is dead!
Christopher Titus: Not a lot of gray area here, Dave. Dead? Not dead? Is there a pulse?
Dave Titus: I don't know.
Christopher Titus: I have taken half a day off work. There better be a corpse! I mean... what makes you think he's dead?
Dave Titus: He's been in his room for four days now.
Christopher Titus: Right, and?
Dave Titus: Without getting a beer.
Christopher Titus: Oh, my God!
Futurama:
Leela: We're going to deliver this crate like professionals.
Fry: Aww, can't we just dump it in the sewer and say we delivered it?
Bender: Too much work! I say we burn it, then say we dumped it in the sewer!
Dr. Zoidberg: Now open that mouth and lets have a look at that brain. (Fry opens his mouth) No, not that mouth, the other mouth.
Fry: I only have one mouth.
Dr. Zoidberg: Really..?
Fry: Uh... could I see a human doctor?
Dr. Zoidberg: Now listen, young lady, I know everything there is about humans.
Bender: I refuse to fight! I'm a concientious objector.
Fry: A what?
Bender: You know, a coward.
Bender: Hear me, hear me! Stop eating Popplers! Stop eating them with honey mustard sauce. Stop eating them with tangy sweet-and-sour sauce. Stop eating the new fiesta Poppler salad. Stop taking advantage of the money-saving 12-pack. Stop enjoying Popplers on the patio, in the car, or on the boat. Wherever good times are had!
-
I'm going to chuck in some from films as well as TV, just as they occur to me.
Can you fashion some sort of rudimentary lathe?
Cubert: You're an idiot.
Fry: No I'm....doesn't!
Lisa (singing): How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
Homer: Seven!
Lisa: No, dad, it's rhetorical.
Homer: Rhetorical, eh...eight!
Lisa: Do you know what a rhetorical question is?
Homer: Do I know what a rhetorical question is?
And I have to agree with the early mention of Mr. Burns' old-timey slang, which is hilarious without fail.
-
One of my favorite movies of all time!
Jay and Silent Bob strike back:
Jay: Holy fuck, is that monkey waving at us? Oh, shit, It understood us! Maybe it's some kind of supermonkey. What if there's more supermonkeys up at that lab?
[shouts]
Jay: What if they're creating an army of them? Holy shit. It must be a conspiracy like in the X-Files... *Roswell* style! This little monkey could be the fuckin' damn dirty ape responsible for the fall of the human race. In this world gone mad, we won't spank the monkey- the monkey will spank us. And after the fall of man, these monkey fucks'll start wearing our clothes and rebuilding the world in their image. Oh and only those as super smart as me will be left alive to bitterly cry - *you maniacs*! Damn yous! Goddamn yous all to hell!
-
he pope burned alive today
pretty much everybody went home to their loved ones
i imagine to pray.
Idiots!
It's the end of the world we should be fucking
this is why i love powers