THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: blaha 41 on 21 Feb 2008, 13:26
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the quick question: assuming you don't have genital herpes, would you consider having casual sex with a person who has told you that he/she has genital herpes?
edit: I am in no way thinking about having sex with her. i'm just amazed that she said other healthy people have had sex with her knowing she had herpes.
the context
- became close friends with a girl/woman (she's 32).
- she wanted to sleep with me... i said no and told her it was b/c i wasn't mature enough to handle extended casual sex (i'm 26 if it matters...though the reason was that I'm just not attracted to her). she was upset, but we continued to become even better friends.
- during a serious conversation a week ago or she mentioned that she had genital herpes.
- last night she asks me to have sex with her, and i reply, "I... uh... can't really can I (because she has herpes and i don't)"
- she then tells me that it (herpes) hasn't stopped anyone else before... meaning at least three people she's friends with have had sex with her knowing that she has herpes... which just totally blew my mind.
Do people normally knowingly have casual sex with people with herpes? the entire concept just blows my mind. i just spent an hour googling herpes, and it still sounds like a dumb idea to sleep with people who have it.
disclaimer: this is my first new topic and I've probably screwed something up already, but this is the only place i can really talk about this since it involves a friend.
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I'm just not attracted to her
Given this point, I'm confused why you're even asking. Are you considering pity sex or something?
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From the commercials I've seen on television it's okay as long as they're not having an outbreak, but I'm guessing it can still spread pretty easily before there are any physical signs to warn you.
But, as Joe pointed out, if you're not attracted to her you really shouldn't be worried about it.
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Why do you want advice from us? We're the internet! Ask a real life friend!
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Just do it
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Um, no? Sure, sleeping with someone I'm not even attracted to is worth catching a life changing disease for.
Hell, its about on line with getting her pregnant.
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Just fuckin' do it
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Oh, what the fuck.
That's it. I quit.
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Incidentally, your description indicates that she first propositioned you well before mentioning the herpes. Given her previous duplicity, perhaps you shouldn't give much weight to her claim about others not being fazed by the herpes.
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Dude, aren't you slightly fazed by the fact that you almost slept with someone with herpes without knowing they had herpes?
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Common adverse drug reactions (≥1% of patients) associated with valaciclovir therapy are the same as for aciclovir, its active metabolite, and include: nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, anal leakage and/or headache. Infrequent adverse effects (0.1–1% of patients) include: agitation, vertigo, confusion, dizziness, oedema, arthralgia, sore throat, constipation, abdominal pain, rash, weakness and/or renal impairment. Rare adverse effects (<0.1% of patients) include: coma, seizures, neutropenia, leukopenia, tremor, ataxia, encephalopathy, psychotic symptoms, crystalluria, anorexia, fatigue, hepatitis, Stevens-Johnson syndrome, toxic epidermal necrolysis and/or anaphylaxis.
Ask your doctor if once-a-day Valtrex is right for you.
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It would seem to me that the general consensus is 'not a great idea'. Sounds like she has her fair share of problems and it's best you don't get involved. Whether she had herpes or not, sleeping with her was always a going to be a bad idea.
Why would you even need to ask this? Are you jus' taking us for a ride?
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I feel like I have herpes just from reading this thread.
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When in reality it's from your sinning.
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Incidentally, your description indicates that she first propositioned you well before mentioning the herpes. Given her previous duplicity, perhaps you shouldn't give much weight to her claim about others not being fazed by the herpes.
that's why i came here to ask if what she said was likely to be true based on other people's experiences because to me what she said sounds crazy.
Dude, aren't you slightly fazed by the fact that you almost slept with someone with herpes without knowing they had herpes?
i didn't almost sleep with her... i gave her a flat "no" the first time. herpes or no herpes i'm just not into her at all like that.
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If you're not into her, why are you agonizing over it? You told her no, if she propositions you agian, just set her straight --you're not interested, it's not going to happen.
And for the reccord: according to the Valtrex commericals, it's still possible to pass along the herpies virus when you have no sign of an outbreak. So...just don't do it unless you're totally into the person, I guess.
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Or if you're just really okay with getting herpes
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Well, personally, if I'm going to get an STD, I'd like something a little more "exciting" then Herpes, thanks....
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If I get an STD I at least want it to be something that's eventually named after me.
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Well, personally, if I'm going to get an STD, I'd like something a little more "exciting" then Herpes, thanks....
See now me, I tend to feel that the less debilitating the disease, the better.
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I can't imagine how horrible it would be to catch a disease called "whipstitch". It sounds painful.
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Has anyone here ever actually heard of condoms?
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There's an appropriate Achewood for this, I just know it.
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Has anyone here ever actually heard of condoms?
Condoms are not completely effective against preventing herpes. Without getting too graphic, it depends a lot on where exactly the herpes outbreaks are occurring. It's a greatly reduced risk of course, and if it is someone you really love then herpes isn't really all that bad, but the OP already pointed out that he isn't attracted to this woman.
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What makes you think we haven't heard of them??
I don't think that condoms protect from herpes, seeing as how it can spread to areas outside of the condom-covered areas.
(goddamn, people...you're too fast!!)
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Hmmm...to out of context sig quote Joe, or not to out of context sig quote Joe...I do so like my current sig.
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Now that's just horrible.
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A condom is not necessarily enough to protect the rest of you from herpes. Still, it's probably* safe to sleep with someone who has herpes unless they're presently having/just had/about to have an outbreak. Herpes is something you can have and not know about, because it manifests as sores and only shows up periodically. Unless there are actual visible sores, it's unlikely that it'll transmit, but it's never a completely safe thing to do.
I'm assuming the sores would make it actually painful to have sex, so it should be easy enough to avoid.
At any rate, I would not condone sleeping with a person who has herpes on a casual basis anyways. I can see how some people might do it, but I wouldn't. If I was seriously into a person, and they were upfront and we were careful about it, I would consider it, but for a casual thing, just don't.
Amusing anecdote: Shortly after I first fooled around with a lady with no clothes on, I got jock itch, which is basically athletes foot except on your jock. Basically, I'd just got back in town, started going to the gym after class, and didn't shower right away afterwards. I then proceeded to spend the next little while freaking out because I thought it could be herpes and I thought it might be jock itch and I didn't want to call this girl (who is regularly 3000 Km away from me) and say "so, uh, hey, do you have herpes?" until I realized I could just head down to Student Health Services on campus and get that shit looked at. The sores didn't break or 'ooze' which was a good thing, and it responded nicely to an anti-fungal so I am OK.
Maybe that was too much information, but I think it's hilarious in hindsight.
Oh, also, new dude, what the fuck is with this thread? Asking strangers who you have no reason to expect to have expertise on a subject about something like this? Dude. Manda is probably right on this one.
*Probably means we are not entirely certain
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i didn't almost sleep with her... i gave her a flat "no" the first time. herpes or no herpes i'm just not into her at all like that.
That is not the point. The point is she didn't tell you you had herpes whilst propositioning you with sex the first time and you don't seem all too bothered by that.
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Seriously man, you ask for help on /b/ about this sort of thing.
Not only do I not really plan on ever sleeping with anyone that old (Doubt I will live long past 30 tbh) but just, a nasty STD transferred by contact? I am pretty sure know I wouldn't bone anyone if I knew they had an STI. Maybe I am just weird but in all honesty it's up to you, just don't make the wrong choice. Is herpes not viral like a cold sore anyways?
Suppose it might feel like your rubber is ribbed...
:-D
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Good lord people, I'm so tired of everyone jumping on new people any time they try to start a thread. When did everyone turn into such assholes? Is it an automatic right now when you hit 500 posts?
If you'd actually paid attention to the question, he was asking if anyone thought sleeping with someone with herpes was ok, or if LIKE HIM, they thought it was a terribly bad call no matter what.
This is an interesting topic for conversation, because it involves sex and gross stuff, and everyone likes that.
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That is not the point. The point is she didn't tell you you had herpes whilst propositioning you with sex the first time and you don't seem all too bothered by that.
Give the guy some credit. He may have started the thread, but assume he isn't a complete idiot. He just isn't presenting himself very well, is all.
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And there was me assuming the internet.
Ok, lets assume he isn't a complete idiot, but he still gave no sign to us that he was in some way disturbed by this. And the fact that they were still close enough for her to proposition him last night indicates that he can't have made that big a deal out of it. Is this making sense? I think I need more sleep.
Good lord people, I'm so tired of everyone jumping on new people any time they try to start a thread. When did everyone turn into such assholes? Is it an automatic right now when you hit 500 posts?
No one jumped on me. Everyone here seemed perfectly civilized and non-assholeish.
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Maybe that was too much information, but I think it's hilarious in hindsight.
I have a similar story. When I first started using condoms with spermicidal lubricant I got a rash that I was afraid was herpes. Turns out I'm allergic to spermicide; I'm fine so long as I was it off right after.
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Is herpes not viral like a cold sore anyways?
Cold sores are herpes.
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The most hilarious but tragic tale involving an STD I heard was a guy who was giving a girl oral sex and somehow he got his eye in the way, and caught chlamydia in his eye.
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I do not believe anyone when they say anything about chlamydia and eyes. I have heard those stories too many times.
The best one I heard, though, was of the strippers in a sketchy bar putting a dude's eyeglasses inside, then back on his face and contracting it that way.
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(http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/7892/21558pv5.jpg)
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Oh man, that is just...
Where did that come from?
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I do not believe anyone when they say anything about chlamydia and eyes. I have heard those stories too many times.
Guess he caught it from the chlamydia fairies, then.
What the hell is that picture?
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okay, as soon as anyone says anything about any type of genital... difference... a big, giant red flag should go up that warns you not to even think about going there...
and I say difference as in STD, not like, a third testicle.
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BB, do you actually actually know and trust the fellow in question? Because I have heard many people who knew a guy who got chlamydia in the eye. It is very easy for one person to invent the story and then pass it on to so many people.
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Internet.
I think if you're going to have sex you should be as safe as possible (duh). As people have said, herpes is hard(er) to catch when it's not flaring up, right? I guess that might be an acceptable risk, if you wear a condom, but depending on the circumstances I probably wouldn't do it.
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It is very easy for one person to... pass it on to so many people.
Not unlike chlamydia itself.
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It's the gift that keeps on giving!
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Tommy has no problem with giving away sexual diseases, but keep your fucking hands off of his Slint shirt.
Also, seriously. Perfectly reasonable idea behind it that got somehow misinterpreted. It's like the worst game of Telephone ever played, except you could just scroll up and read the question to make sure he's got it right. Don't bite the new folks!
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Cold sores are herpes.
[/quote]
From my understanding, they don't really work the same way. And my understanding is drawn from the fact that I dated a girl for two years who got cold sores regularly (once every couple of months i guess is regularly) on/around her mouth, and I am happy to say that I am cold sore and herpes free. Apparently she got them since she was little, and her dad gets them too. Which leads me to believe they were passed on somehow. But this thread has done a good job of making me feel like kissing that girl was a sketchier decision than I initially thought. I'm rationalizing by saying that she was/is a pretty foxy* lady.
*Foxy as in good-looking and not looking like a fox. Just so I am differentiated from you internets and your furries.
Edit: My quote got messed up, but give me a break. At least I didn't quote tunnel.
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perhaps you've just never had an outbreak! that's not uncommon. good for your immune system. but really, they are related. there are two types of herpes viruses: one is associated with cold sores, and another with genital herpes, but both of them can afflict either kind of mucous membrane.
anyways the answer to this thread is don't have sex before marriage!
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To the best of my knowledge, cold sores are not a permanent condition, whereas genital herpes is. One can lead to the other, allegedly, if you engage in oral sex with someone with cold sores, said cold sores can transmit to genital herpes.
On the other hand, this could very well be one of those sex urban legends. I myself am not willing to try and find out first hand, though.
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perhaps you've just never had an outbreak! that's not uncommon.
Thank you for undermining my confidence. 100,000 will die for your mistakes here today.
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I get cold sores. I have herpes! Though I haven't gotten one in a few years, so maybe it is actually a passing thing.
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Never had a cold sore. CLEAN! (Also, I can't remember if cold sores are permanent or not. You may not break out, but I can't remember if that means that the virus is actually gone or not. I know people confuse them with canker sores, which are not permanent.)
Sleeping with someone you know who has an STD is ALWAYS A BAD IDEA. It doesn't matter if she's not having an outbreak, there is still the possibility that you can get it. And from what I learned in health and human sex class, it's not like the commercials - even if you are on medication, you will never happily ride a bike while having an outbreak. Even if you are using forms of birth control, those aren't fool proof, so the best way to make sure you don't get an STD is to just not have sex with someone that you know does.
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health and human sex class
I support the title of this class due to its specific title. It implies to me that somewhere in the curriculum is a health and giraffe sex class.
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maybe they forgot the e? It would mean there could be a kinkier version of it
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To the best of my knowledge, cold sores are not a permanent condition, whereas genital herpes is. One can lead to the other, allegedly, if you engage in oral sex with someone with cold sores, said cold sores can transmit to genital herpes.
On the other hand, this could very well be one of those sex urban legends. I myself am not willing to try and find out first hand, though.
Genital herpes are just cold sores on your genitals. Cold sores are just herpes on your mouth. They're both permanent conditions. Once you have herpes, you will always have herpes in you. You may not ever have an outbreak, but you will still have the virus laying dormant inside you.
Two main strains are herpes are simplex 1 and simplex 2. 1 is commonly found orally while 2 is commonly found genitally, but both can infect any area. You can have herpes on your eye.
You can receive genital herpes by receiving oral sex from someone with cold sores, and vice versa.
According to the CDC, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 8 men have genital herpes. It is likely that it male-to-female transmission is easier than female-male transmission. It is likely that someone with herpes doesn't know they have herpes.
Transmission is far less likely between outbreaks than during.
What do they teach kids in school these days anyway? Jesus.
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health and human sex class
I support the title of this class due to its specific title. It implies to me that somewhere in the curriculum is a health and giraffe sex class.
Health was one class, human sexuality was a different class. The latter was the one I took in college and was definitely the more interesting of the two. Maybe somewhere there is a giraffe sexuality class! You never know.
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To the best of my knowledge, cold sores are not a permanent condition, whereas genital herpes is. One can lead to the other, allegedly, if you engage in oral sex with someone with cold sores, said cold sores can transmit to genital herpes.
On the other hand, this could very well be one of those sex urban legends. I myself am not willing to try and find out first hand, though.
Genital herpes are just cold sores on your genitals. Cold sores are just herpes on your mouth. They're both permanent conditions. Once you have herpes, you will always have herpes in you. You may not ever have an outbreak, but you will still have the virus laying dormant inside you.
Two main strains are herpes are simplex 1 and simplex 2. 1 is commonly found orally while 2 is commonly found genitally, but both can infect any area. You can have herpes on your eye.
You can receive genital herpes by receiving oral sex from someone with cold sores, and vice versa.
According to the CDC, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 8 men have genital herpes. It is likely that it male-to-female transmission is easier than female-male transmission. It is likely that someone with herpes doesn't know they have herpes.
Transmission is far less likely between outbreaks than during.
What do they teach kids in school these days anyway? Jesus.
This is mostly true, I think. However, according to my gynecologist, who may or may not be full of shit, simplex 1 doesn't always "take" if you were to get it in the genital region (i.e., your immune system generally destroys it). I gathered from what he said, although I'm still not clear on it, simplex 1 tends to clear up on its own more often than simplex 2 ever will, like the way there are some kids who manage to get rid of HIV infections somehow.
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I would not do this ever and I don't understand why anyone else would. Perhaps if you fell in love with someone and it turned out they had it that could be a different story, but casual sex with someone that has a rather easily-transmittable and incurable STD doesn't sound like a good idea at all.
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It's pretty much a bad idea.
Of course, if you're really into russian roulette, then it's a good idea.
But only if you're really into it.
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I am sure we can all agree that purposefully swabbing your dick in herpes is a bad idea
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Call me old fashioned, but the term casual sex has always sounded wrong to me anyway. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to get laid, that is on the top priority of things for me to do in my life, but casual sex with someone you hardly know has never felt like people are going for the right idea. This may be due to my inexperience but I've heard relationships before sex were the preferable choice. Or maybe I'm just a prude.
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update: she sent me an email while i was out tonight saying that, because i said that "i wouldn't even consider sleeping with you b/c you have herpes," we are "done" as friends.
yeah this sucks.
so far i've only read through the CDC's literature on it, wikipedia's article on it that ODDLY positioned herpes as "NO BIG DEAL," and talked to my friend's dad who is a GP who said "yeah, it's just a skin disease, but you'd be dumb to expose yourself," but apparently i haven't done enough research and i have to talk to HER doctor friend about it.
i would rather not ever knowingly expose myself to herpes, and SOMEHOW this obviously makes me the bad guy.
whoa... multiple capped phrases... i must be really worked up :-o
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Tell her that it's okay, there was no way in hell you were going to sleep with her anyway.
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HA, oh man. I like this one.
But on the serious note, it doesn't sound like you guys were that great of friends if something like this gets in the way so easily, sounds like she was looking for something different than being a friend.
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Yea I'd say that if her reaction was that poor then she is probably not someone who you should spend a lot of time associating with. That is not a very fair reaction on her part. Because not wanting herpes is basically the normal reaction to them.
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Yo man what's her number?
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Knowingly sleep with someone who has genital herpes?
Not in a million years.
I'm fairly well-adjusted in most respects, but I will admit to having a phobia of catching skin diseases. Herpes just freaks me out far too much. Hell, I'm ashamed to admit that I won't buy food from a place where one of the serving staff has cold sores. Even if I really liked the infected person, my wang would be far too busy trying to hide somewhere behind my kidneys to perform.
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It is likely that it male-to-female transmission is easier than female-male transmission.
This is the case with damn near every STD, due to the fact that women's mucous membranes are exposed. It's easier for the badness to get in through there that regular skin (unless you've got a cut/scratch on your dick somewhere.)
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From the commercials I've seen on television it's okay as long as they're not having an outbreak, but I'm guessing it can still spread pretty easily before there are any physical signs to warn you.
But, as Joe pointed out, if you're not attracted to her you really shouldn't be worried about it.
It seems this comment has pretty much flown under the radar, but I feel that it deserves attention because it is wrong wrong wrong, if not in theory then most definitely in practice. First of all herpes is spread through direct skin contact through an infected person. So, to feel safe about this, you have to be sure that first, there are no infected cells anywhere on the person's genitals (not going to happen unless you have a microscope, a lot of time to waste, and your partner doesn't remind you removing their bits, and if you're not sure of that you have to be sure that there is absolutely no chance that there is any kind of abrasion on their skin "down there" whatsoever. Even ones so small that neither party can feel them.
It is likely that it male-to-female transmission is easier than female-male transmission.
Also, because it is transmitted through skin contact and not fluid exchange, there is a smaller gender discrepancy than with most other STIs.
In conclusion. A silly risk to get to touch a lady you seem none too thrilled about touching.
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Has anyone here ever actually heard of condoms?
Our minds think the same way. :|
To the original poster: If you don't fancy her, don't shag her. Pretty simple really.
Besides, no one wants to end up with their dick looking like its got barnacles.
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update: she sent me an email while i was out tonight saying that, because i said that "i wouldn't even consider sleeping with you b/c you have herpes," we are "done" as friends.
yeah this sucks.
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i would rather not ever knowingly expose myself to herpes, and SOMEHOW this obviously makes me the bad guy.
She should have taken a hint the first time and really she should have told you about the herpes the first time. And the second time, she basically went, "I still think we should have sex, but oh yeah, I have herpes! Surprise!" and then got mad when you gave her the obvious answer of no. She's stupid if she thinks that you would sleep with her while you didn't want to in the first place and don't want to get an STD. Holy crap, she is not a good friend whatsoever. You are not the bad guy.
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I dated a guy once for half a year only to find out from his ex-girlfriend that he had herpes. I was SCARED SHITLESS. I've gotten tested twice since then, just to make sure, and luckily have managed to keep clean! But this is after half a YEAR of lots of unprotected (minus bc, buit what's that gonna do?) sex. Obviously, we broke up after that, and I've been told that if I wanted to I could have pressed charges for him not telling me, but I'm not sure if this is true. Bottom line? Well, I guess there are a couple:
1. People are NOT as honest as they should be about this stuff. Be careful.
2. It IS possible to have quite a bit of sex with an infected person and end up safe if they're not broken out, although I still would NOT recommend it unless you're really commited.
3. Don't date douchebags. Unfortunately, there's only so much we can do about that.
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Holy shit I'm back indeed! Just took a two year vacation, s'all.
edit: upon posting this, i reviewed my profile and I actually registered on this forum two years ago TODAY. shit son, that was magical. happy forum birthday to meeeee.
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talked to my friend's dad who is a GP who said "yeah, it's just a skin disease, but you'd be dumb to expose yourself,"
Note that this is essentially what I said. I should totally be a doctor. yeah
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I dated a guy once for half a year only to find out from his ex-girlfriend that he had herpes. I was SCARED SHITLESS. I've gotten tested twice since then, just to make sure, and luckily have managed to keep clean! But this is after half a YEAR of lots of unprotected (minus bc, buit what's that gonna do?) sex. Obviously, we broke up after that, and I've been told that if I wanted to I could have pressed charges for him not telling me, but I'm not sure if this is true. Bottom line? Well, I guess there are a couple:
1. People are NOT as honest as they should be about this stuff. Be careful.
2. It IS possible to have quite a bit of sex with an infected person and end up safe if they're not broken out, although I still would NOT recommend it unless you're really commited.
3. Don't date douchebags. Unfortunately, there's only so much we can do about that.
Um, I don't understand the situation at all, not having been there and all, but was there any indication in this situation that maybe she was not telling the truth? I mean, did he admit it? Or do you only have her word and a blank STD test result for yourself?
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I'm gonna give the guy the benefit of the doubt and assume he was asking the question on a purely academic level.
That said, no I would not.
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OH SHIT I HAVE GENITAL HERPES IN MY FACE
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Um, I don't understand the situation at all, not having been there and all, but was there any indication in this situation that maybe she was not telling the truth? I mean, did he admit it? Or do you only have her word and a blank STD test result for yourself?
No, he admitted it. He said he had only broken out once, and actually I felt kinda sorry for his ex because it was right when they started dating and he blamed her for "giving it to him" although she had never had an outbreak. Until I convinced the girl to get tested, she was just assuming that she DID have it, at least that she got it from him, and she hadn't gotten tested yet, but miraculously we both came out clean.
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Maybe somewhere there is a giraffe sexuality class! You never know.
I believe that usually falls under the title of Animal Husbandry, most land-grant/agricultural colleges offer it!
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From the commercials I've seen on television it's okay as long as they're not having an outbreak, but I'm guessing it can still spread pretty easily before there are any physical signs to warn you.
Medical advice from TV commercials? Or you try...say a doctor, free clinic, reputable website, etc. Just an idea though.
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Um, no? Sure, sleeping with someone I'm not even attracted to is worth catching a life changing disease for.
Hell, its about on line with getting her pregnant.
What? No, it isn't. It's a kind of annoying but totally not life threatening skin disease that there are treatment options for, which no one will ever notice in public. The biggest ramnification of having herpes is that now you have to tell people you have herpes before you sleep with them, which shouldn't be that hard unless you're doing something otherwise weird like sleeping with total strangers. Oh, and maybe a few people will reject sex with you because of it. Big deal. Having a little blister on your dick is hardly on par with getting someone pregnant.
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Medical advice from TV commercials? Or you try...say a doctor, free clinic, reputable website, etc. Just an idea though.
I wasn't claiming that they were the authority on the subject, just pointing out what they have to say on the matter. Note that I also gave a flaw of the commercial.
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I once knew a girl who got herpes. She would sleep with guys and then tell them about it after the (f)act and, unsurprisingly, they were pretty unhappy about it. She has recently moved to another state to live with her boyfriend of about 5 minutes. I'm pretty sure she hasn't told him yet. All in all I am just glad this girl is now further away from me than she was before.
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That's almost as bad as people who go around deliberately infecting random partners with AIDS.
..Well alright, not quite so bad. But still quite an asshole-ish thing to do.
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Having a little blister on your dick is hardly on par with getting someone pregnant.
On the other hand though, pregnancies can be made to go away. Herpes is with you for life.
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On the other hand though, pregnancies can be made to go away.
That is easily one of the worst ways you could have said that.
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I dunno. I kinda liked the dark and foreboding overtone.
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That is easily one of the worst ways you could have said that.
I think it's the most tasteful way I've seen abortion referred to on the Internet to date.
Although to be fair, that's because I'm a horrible person.
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Between having to have an abortion (assuming that's what I'd choose to do) and having a couple of treatable blisters every now and then, I'll take the latter, thanks.
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I think it's the most tasteful way I've seen abortion referred to on the Internet to date.
"Fetus from my genitals? Me, not from my genitals.
"Look, here's the funny thing. I don't know you, yet I have hired a variety of men to create a certain sort of relationship with you.
"What? Oh. A death relationship."
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Besides, no one wants to end up with their dick looking like its got barnacles.
Dude that is Genital (http://www.wartcream.com/genital%20warts%20_and_%20herpes%20treatment_files/genital-warts-2.JPG) Warts (http://www.chestersexualhealth.co.uk/pics/infectpics/warts1.jpg).
Herpes (http://www.herpes-terminator.com/images/f2jpg.jpg) Simplex 2 (http://www1.lf1.cuni.cz/~hrozs/skin/suherp1mi.JPG) is far more painful and far less treatable.
NSFW, dudes.
Between having to have an abortion (assuming that's what I'd choose to do) and having a couple of treatable blisters every now and then, I'll take the latter, thanks.
Burn yourself until the skin blisters a couple of times on your dick or in your vagina with a butane lighter every 6 weeks or so and then reassess your opinion.
Dudes I do not have herpes. This is what the lady from the health center told us when we had the building-wide program on safe sex.
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When did this thread become "Would you rather have herpes or abort a baby?"
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When did this thread become "Would you rather have herpes or abort a baby?"
When bbqrocks said that contracting herpes was about on par in terms of badness with knocking someone up.
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I was more hoping someone would jump to the next step and answer the same question but with a cleverly-placed "why."
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The next step from abort a baby is....
If you chose not to abort the baby, would you give it up for adoption or not?
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Or you could just keep it. I have had my share of pregnancy scares, and I can say at this point that contemplating keeping it is not as terrifying as it seems initially. Sure, your lifestyle will change, but it isn't the end of the world. People do it every day.
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PS I would not keep it anyway
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Or you could just keep it. I have had my share of pregnancy scares, and I can say at this point that contemplating keeping it is not as terrifying as it seems initially. Sure, your lifestyle will change, but it isn't the end of the world. People do it every day.
I now see a VOID stamp on this post
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Hey, the general estimate is that the earth can hold about 10 billion, right? It ain't full yet, bitches!
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We can make more room by euthanasing the very very old and those with terminal diseases. Though the latter would be like saying "if we all start walking to the shops instead of driving, we'll save the world!"
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I see this thread is continuing its high standard of boarding.
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Hey, man, I am just trying to encourage people to look after their sexual health with education (http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/DP/2007/05/images/150_img.jpg).
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Dang I thought that was gonna be another picture of disgusting genitals.
I... I think I'm disappointed?
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Well, Dovey, I was going to go with this (http://www.lockeext.com/Body_Louse.jpg), but I like the notion of sitting down with my six-year-old siblings and my mother to be lectured on the Wonder of Sex by my bow-tie-sporting dad better.
Edit: SCABIES (http://depts.washington.edu/nnptc/online_training/std_handbook/gallery/images/scabiesrash2.jpg)
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Hey is louse the singular of lice?
That is just making a whole lot of sense to me and I'm surprised it never occoured to me before.
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Best of all, there definitely aren't enough people on this planet already.
I'm personally doing my part by planning to never die.
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Hey is louse the singular of lice?
That is just making a whole lot of sense to me and I'm surprised it never occoured to me before.
Yes, like mouse and mice...pubic mice
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and house and hice! OH WAIT
FUCK YOU ENGLISH
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the quick question: assuming you don't have genital herpes, would you consider having casual sex with a person who has told you that he/she has genital herpes?
edit: I am in no way thinking about having sex with her. i'm just amazed that she said other healthy people have had sex with her knowing she had herpes.
the context
- became close friends with a girl/woman (she's 32).
- she wanted to sleep with me... i said no and told her it was b/c i wasn't mature enough to handle extended casual sex (i'm 26 if it matters...though the reason was that I'm just not attracted to her). she was upset, but we continued to become even better friends.
- during a serious conversation a week ago or she mentioned that she had genital herpes.
- last night she asks me to have sex with her, and i reply, "I... uh... can't really can I (because she has herpes and i don't)"
- she then tells me that it (herpes) hasn't stopped anyone else before... meaning at least three people she's friends with have had sex with her knowing that she has herpes... which just totally blew my mind.
Do people normally knowingly have casual sex with people with herpes? the entire concept just blows my mind. i just spent an hour googling herpes, and it still sounds like a dumb idea to sleep with people who have it.
disclaimer: this is my first new topic and I've probably screwed something up already, but this is the only place i can really talk about this since it involves a friend.
Herpes is only contagious if there is an outbreak at the time. That said use a rubber and you should be safe. I'd probably still shy away unless she was smoking hot though.
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Herpes is only contagious if there is an outbreak at the time. That said use a rubber and you should be safe. I'd probably still shy away unless she was smoking hot though.
yeah, that's basically what my doctors said. "medically, i have to say ___, but yeah you'd be an idiot if you slept with someone with herpes you didn't want to maybe marry."
edit: the more i think about it, the crazier it sounds for her to expect me even to consider having a one night stand with her. darn, i've probably totally lost a friend.
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Yeah, a friend who really has no qualms about you getting genital herpes. A friend who was willing to actively deceive you by keeping that information from you the first time she propositioned you. A friend who got all offended the second time that you said you didn't want to sleep with her, even though your reason that time was based on your obviously selfish desire to not have herpes on your cock.
Give me this woman's number. Life is not hard enough. I want her to be my friend.
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You can have herpes on your eye
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Yeah, actually, apparently that's pretty common in kids? I am not sure how or why, but yeah.
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Infants, most likely. Mom might be having an outbreak when she's giving birth and not be aware of it. Et voila! Children with herpes on just about any body part!
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thanks mom
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So uh..where are these people with herpes on their eyes? And are they terribly horrific and gross? Because I've never seen that.
I AM GREATLY FASCINATED.
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PLEASE DON'T POST PICTURES, AUGH.
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Because I've never seen that.
Why would you WANT to?! Ugh! And yes, please no pictures!
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WARNING: DO NOT CLICK (http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/IMPO/CHATNOIR~Chat-Noir-Posters.jpg)
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Herpes infection of the eye, especially in children, generally only has one outbreak and is pretty easily diagnosable because it is very distinct. A cool thing about herpes is that actually, if you get infected in one place with either simplex, you cannot reinfect yourself anywhere else in your body because you build up antibodies to it. So I think it would be awesome if there were drugs to suppress outbreaks entirely, and then you get "vaccinations" like the old smallpox vaccine - one sore in one out-of-the-way spot and then you never have to deal with it again.The world would be cured of herpes!
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Behind the ear would be a good spot, unless you're bald or have ears that stick out but hey outbreaks don't tend to be very very frequnt.
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So if you get cold sores (facial herpes) you cannot get genital herpes? That's a pretty big plus for those people unfortunate enough to have gotten it on their face.
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So if you get cold sores (facial herpes) you cannot get genital herpes? That's a pretty big plus for those people unfortunate enough to have gotten it on their face.
i am so not a doctor, but that sounds totally wrong. (b/c simplex 1 and simplex 2 are completely different).
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Wrong, they are not completely different genital herpes (HSV2) is medically a condition no different to that of facial herpes (HSV1).
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I'm pretty sure that having oral herpes doesn't preclude you from getting genital herpes at all though -- I mean, it seems like that would be like thinking that a rash on your arm will prevent you from getting one on your leg.
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one sore in one out-of-the-way spot and then you never have to deal with it again.The world would be cured of herpes!
So I guess i should try to get herpes on my junk then. I mean, I wouldn't want to get it somewhere like my eye where other people are actually going to see it.
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Condoms are your armour in that situation.
Having said that, this looks like one of those "you've got it, you're stuck with it forever" things. All things considered, that'd be enough to cause me to say "no thanks, I'd rather not" even if it means not getting any.
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Condoms are your armour
BAND NAME.
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Dudes do you not read threads at all? It has already been mentioned that there are two different strains, and if you have simplex 1 it does not preclude you getting simplex 2. Simplex 1 tends to infect the oral tissues, just like simplex 2 generally infects genital areas, but you can get either anywhere, I think. However, if you already get cold sores from simplex 1then you cannot get re-infected with simplex 1 ever again because your previous infection and the antibodies you gain from it last the rest of your life. This is why I think vaccinating like smallpox would be awesome.
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Well, you can't get re-infected if you've already been infected with a certain simplex of herpes, because you never become UN-infected. Herpes sticks around in your body forever. That's why people get shingles--the chicken pox virus (yes, that's herpes too) stays in your blood and when your immune system is weakened or if you're just really unlucky it'll come back in the form of shingles. Anyway, once you are infected with either simplex 1 or 2 it can come back at any point during your life. Most of us already have herpes simplex one. A lot of people got it when they were kids. Simplex one isn't as much of a strict STD as you might think it is. I guarantee you that a large portion of you reading this have herpes simplex one and haven't even really thought about it or realized it. And yeah, it'll always be there, but odds are you're not going to be broken out a lot. If you happen to have a cold sore breakout you're supposed to shy away from oral sex, but that's about all a doctor will tell you about that one. Most people won't have issues with simplex one because it's a relatively harmless disease.
That's about the gist of what the doctors told me. But one last thing: people spout more bullshit about herpes thinking they're telling the truth than almost any other disease. You would not BELIEVE the things I've heard (and checked against the doctors to be sure) spoken with utter faith by people I know. So I guess I'm saying be careful where you get your information (that warning includes listening to me--i could be mistaken about some of this information). Take truth from doctors only.
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Hell, even doctors are known to spout incorrect information sometimes.
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TRUST NO-ONE.
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What it takes to get this forum to stay on topic for three pages...
Also, guys, can you imagine how annoying it would be to get herpes in your nose?
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That's why people get shingles--the chicken pox virus (yes, that's herpes too) stays in your blood and when your immune system is weakened or if you're just really unlucky it'll come back in the form of shingles.
My parents were once told by a doctor that I might be immune to chicken pox. This came up after both my older sister and younger brother caught it and my parents attempted to get me infected for the sake of avoiding getting it later in life (When it can cause much more severe complications, I'm told). How would this affect me herpes vulnerability-wise?
This may seem like a joke, but it's something I have never thought of before and am outright curious about.
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I've never had chicken pox either, so that is a good question.
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i know i should avoid linking to wikipedia pages, but everyone ignored what i said on the bottom of page one so hopefully this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpesviridae) helps.
the strain of herpes that causes chickenpox/shingles is distinct from the two types we've been talking about so far in this thread. thus, i doubt it would give you any immunity. also, i have a feeling that if it did, it would be pretty obvious, right? lots of people had the chickenpox when they were little, yet lots of people still get cold sores. just a guess though.
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The thing that I'm wondering on is the fact that, according to a doctor, I may actually be immune to chicken pox. Not the usual, hey I caught it and it's in my blood stream forever thing, as I know how that kind of infection works due to the periodic relapses of mono I have. My parents outright shoved me in a room with my chicken pox infected siblings at the age of five for a week in an effort to infect me and it didn't take. If I'm immune to what is apparently one strain of herpes, could I potentially be immune in general? Note, this doesn't mean I'm going to run out and fuck prostitutes for the sake of a testing phase, it's just something to think about and maybe ask my doctor next time I go in.
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update: she sent me an email while i was out tonight saying that, because i said that "i wouldn't even consider sleeping with you b/c you have herpes," we are "done" as friends.
It sounds a lot like she was just insecure that you didn't find her attractive, so to preempt that conclusion, she told you she had an STD so she could mark you up as a guy who didn't want to expose himself to herpes rather than a guy who didn't find her attractive.
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Herpes is only contagious if there is an outbreak at the time. That said use a rubber and you should be safe. I'd probably still shy away unless she was smoking hot though.
These are lies.
LIES!
It is unlikely that you'll contract herpes from someone who isn't having an outbreak, but as has been mentioned several times in this thread already, outbreak or not, herpes is contagious.
Also, a condom isn't sufficient protection against herpes transmission. Any skin to skin contact can transmit it, so if you're wearing rubber undies, you'll probably be ok. This has also been mentioned before in this thread.
Here is a good webpage that answers who can get what in terms of herpes (http://www.healthcentral.com/genital-herpes/c/86/6903/hsv1-oral-sex).
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Good call
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What, this isn't on-topic? It's an evolving discussion, we can't stick to saying "no people usually do not sleep with people that has a known herpies infection" for one hundred and fifty replies. A thread doesn't need to consistently refer directly to the original post to be on-topic.
Actually, this thread is unusually on-topic. That was my point.
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What, this isn't on-topic? It's an evolving discussion, we can't stick to saying "no people usually do not sleep with people that has a known herpies infection" for one hundred and fifty replies. A thread doesn't need to consistently refer directly to the original post to be on-topic.
I disagree. The ultimate thread would start with a question, and then every post for the next 3 pages would consist solely of either "yes" or "no."
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I've never had chicken pox either, so that is a good question.
One of my mates got the chickenpox when she was in first year in college, and it can be quite serious apparently. It left some scars and everything. So, avoid sick kids, I guess? Also, Jon, maybe you got chickenpox but never got symptomatic? I don't know if this is possible or not, this is just a guess.
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late-period chicken pox is called shingles and it is fucking painful. Dave Letterman got it and was out of commission for awhile.
You want to get chicken pox early.
But don't take aspirin when you get it, otherwise you'll catch retarded. Fact.
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Guys, start using paracetamol instead, it doesn't come with the nasty "hemorrhaging of the bowels" or plain "internal hemorrhaging" side affect.
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I can't take ibuprofen because it will cause my stomach to haemorrage like a motherfucker.
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For those who don't know, ibuprofen and aspirin are both non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs or NSAIDs.
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Pshoo, shingles is not just for old people- my younger sister got it at age 15 or so, and it left a line of wicked scars perpendicular to her spine. She is 18 now and the scars are still very much there.
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Also for those who don't know, paracetamol is known better in the states as "acetaminophen" (tylenol).
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I had the chicken pox about a year ago. It was pretty bad, but not too bad.
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late-period chicken pox is called shingles and it is fucking painful. Dave Letterman got it and was out of commission for awhile.
You want to get chicken pox early.
Actually, shingles is caused by the chicken pox virus, but it's not the same disease. I got shingles last winter (and yes, DANG) but I had the pox when I was really little. It's like the old virus just comes out of remission or something.
They put me on Valtrex to get rid of the shingles - it worked, but I got not end of grief about it from my friends.
Best prevention against shingles is don't take immune system suppressing drugs while regularly staying up till 5 am to watch reruns of The X Files and MASH. That's my advice, anyway.
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I've never had chicken pox either, so that is a good question.
One of my mates got the chickenpox when she was in first year in college, and it can be quite serious apparently. It left some scars and everything. So, avoid sick kids, I guess?
Well, there's a strong possibility I have an immunity to it from what my doctor told me, but I am not going to go out of my way to get it. When/if I have kids and they get it, I will not be around them while they have it just to be safe.
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You could setup a camera so that you can monitor your kids from another room. That's what my dad did when my youngest sister was born; my other sister and I had chicken pox at the time, so we had to watch our new sister remotely on the television.
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That just sounds sad.
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Seriously though. The production values were terrible. No title graphics, no emotional music, nothing.
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That's what I was thinking; I'd of been really pissed because I was 5 when my sister was born, so there's no freakin' way you could convince me that I should be watching my sister in a nursery rather than Ghostbusters. No freakin' way.
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I think I might have had German measles at one point, is that also called rubella?
On a side note, is it not extrememly racist to name an illness after a race?
Anyway, that wasn't the point I was making. The point I was making is that following my outbreak of chicken pox whilst being a small child, I acquired a scar on the right hand side of my forehead, just above the place you aren't supposed to hit in case it makes your eyes fall out. I'm amazed it's the only one I got, I'm a scratcher when it comes to itchy skin conditions. Thankfully I've never acquired any STIs (although if I do start thinking I might, then I'll just have to go to my college reception and ask for a test... an idea which I find not only terrifying but also rather creepy. If I was going to discover I had chlamydia, the current illness of choice, then I believe I would prefer to do so via a doctor, not through a text message sent to me by the Student Services desk).
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I'm pretty sure it's named after the country or the region, not the people.
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Actually, it is a state of mind.
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According to todays comic, apparently faye has no problem with sleeping with people with genital herpes.
Hahahaha.
Haha.
:|
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I didn't LOL.
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I don't get it, but I also don't want you to explain.
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Sorry for the uppage, but I noticed that none of the prior responses touched on how she's feeling.
I have two friends who have genital herpes - both smokin' hot women who attracted the wrong kind of guy, who lied to them about being disease-free.
Both have serious self-worth issues as a result of it; one said to me, in tears, "No guy will ever want to touch me again".
From the very limited aspects of the tale you've given us, I don't feel like she's been a very good friend to you ... but if I try to see her acting within her own insecurities and emotional response to carrying this disease, she makes sense to me. Your "rejection" would have been more hurtful to either of my friends than it ought to be, logically, and especially if you used the very thing they're afraid of rejection for as a reason to reject them.
If you had a close, long-standing friendship, I'd think that you might have every chance of being able to approach her one or two weeks later and say, "Look, I miss your friendship, and I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'd like to talk about it."
On the other hand, if you had a growing-but-not-yet-solid friendship, its possible that she was more attracted to you than she let on; again, this might help to explain why she was more hurt by your interaction than you might have expected. In that case, maybe its best to let it go.