THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => ENJOY => Topic started by: Aceandcups on 06 Apr 2008, 23:40
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Uwe Boll has said that he will stop making movies if one million people petition him with fake signatures. Let me remind you that he was behind Blood Rayne and a lot of other bad movies that mock video games.
http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html (http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html)
So, spread the word.
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Signed.
Only 950,000 more signatures to go!
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I only did it for the lulz.
Uwe Boll remains an inspiration to me. Through his seminal works I can rest assured that no matter how hackneyed my prose may be, there remains a slim chance that I could become a script writer someday.
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Uwe Boll makes god-awful movies but I'm sure he really enjoys what he does. Afterall, making unbearable crap must be nice. There's no pressure and he gets to work with really crummy special effects. I don't really care if the guy makes movies or not since I won't be seeing anything of his in the future. He's terrible but I wouldn't want him to stop making movies. Besides, his career is proof that anyone can make it in the movie biz.
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I was ready to post something snarky about this being internet bullshit but apparently Boll has said something to this effect (http://film.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,,2271690,00.html), at least according to The Guardian. If Boll does retire, though, it's going to be less because of the petition and more because of the change in German tax law that allowed him to make money from films which resulted in massive losses (http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2008/01/uwe_bolls_movies_will_soon_loo.html). No word on whether the German legislator responsible for the change in law was a Dungeon Siege fan, but I think it would be safe to assume, yes.
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Is there a "Save Uwe Boll" petition I can sign? I would rather have one man continue to make silly, harmless movies than see the dumb rage of a million nerds actually make a change.
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Harmless?
The movies always result in a net loss. Has a single one of his films made positive figures in the box office?
Basically, someone is losing money somewhere and it's not him and it's probably not the actors in his movies. Think of all the homeless people that are created because of his god-awful movies.
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I have it on good authority that Uwe Boll signed a seal with the devil whereby every one of his movies will be released, but in return he has to rape a puppy and murder 100 baby penguins. It's true!
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The movies always result in a net loss. Has a single one of his films made positive figures in the box office?
There's a reason for that.
according to wiki:
Boll is able to acquire funding thanks to German tax laws that reward investments in film. The law allows investors in German-owned films to write off 100% of their investment as a tax deduction; it also allows them to invest borrowed money and write off any fees associated with the loan. The investor is then only required to pay taxes on the profits made by the movie; if the movie loses money, the investor gets a tax writeoff.
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I retract my previous statement in that case. If people are being forced to contribute their hard earned money to his "endeavors," than Boll is far worse than I thought.
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No, they're not being forced to; they're doing it entirely voluntarily, knowing that the result will lose money, because the German government implemented the world's worst plan to bolster the the German film industry.
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Is it just me, or is this the exact same plot as The Producers?
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It's a little more sophisticated since here they're getting a tax rebate whereas in the Producers, Max Bialystock just didn't have to return the capital from the old ladies he
AAAH IMAGES OF UWE BOLL SEDUCING OLD LADIES BURN IT WITH FIRE
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Is there a "Save Uwe Boll" petition I can sign? I would rather have one man continue to make silly, harmless movies than see the dumb rage of a million nerds actually make a change.
You can start one, but I don't see why you would want to. You call it dumb rage from a million nerds, but that's not entirely true. NO ONE likes his movies, they get panned universally BY EVERY CRITIC. Tell me one critic (who can be trusted) who has given ANY of his movies a good review. It's just that the nerds are the ones the most outraged by this because they've played the video games that he's butchering. It makes sense. If people were making a movie where Madonna was played by a giraffe with buck teeth the only people complaining would be Madonna fans, because they're Madonna fans. The rest of the people know the movies are terrible but don't really care about Madonna. If you're just seeing the rage of the nerds against him, you need to open your eyes a little wider.
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The issue isn't close enough to my heart to actually create a counter-petition, although the massive backlash something like that guarantees might be fun to see.
I didn't mean to suggest that the man's films aren't lousy by all standards, or to actively defend him as a decent filmmaker or anything. Now that I think about it, the fact that he actually went and suggested it himself pretty much invalidates my point. I guess it just jumped out at me as one of those instances where you imagine what people might accomplished by redirecting the energy they spend complaining towards something more constructive.
Also, I didn't know about the exploitation of the tax loophole. If more of the signers are concerned about that than him characterizing Blood Rayne's tits incorrectly, then: damn, sorry I underestimated them.
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I remember reading in the "Metro newspaper" about Uwe boll, it stated that because of his net loss on his movies, he was having to lower budget sizes thus he would have to hire lesser known actors and use cheaper special effects. So his movies will just get cheaper and cheaper until he files bankruptcy.
We just need to wait for a couple more movies and were sorted!
Although, statistically he might hit a blockbuster
Wait.. lets not even think about that.
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I remember reading in the "Metro newspaper" about Uwe boll, it stated that because of his net loss on his movies, he was having to lower budget sizes thus he would have to hire lesser known actors and use cheaper special effects. So his movies will just get cheaper and cheaper until he files bankruptcy.
We just need to wait for a couple more movies and were sorted!
Although, statistically he might hit a blockbuster
Wait.. lets not even think about that.
The issue with that theory, though, is that his latest film had a lot of big name actors in it. Ray Liotta? Jason Statham? Burt fucking Reynolds?
I can't think of anyone in any of his other movies that is leading person material off the top of my head.
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Ben Kingsley?
Anyway, this is as ridiculous as those anti-scientology protests. If you're going to internet petition a bad filmmaker out of the business, make it Paul WS Anderson, who makes the same sorts of films as Boll but minus the trainwreck appeal, just flat-out awful films.
Or better yet, get Brian De Palma the fuck out of Hollywood.
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I totally didn't realize he was in BloodRayne because I never saw the piece of shit.
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I love Uwe Boll movies, not the movies themselves but the rage of the fans. Truly there is hardly any group more odious than franchise fans.
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Uwe Boll: he's a real DOCTOR!
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If you're going to internet petition a bad filmmaker out of the business, make it Paul WS Anderson, who makes the same sorts of films as Boll but minus the trainwreck appeal, just flat-out awful films.
Hey.....when I was 12 I liked Soldier.....but now it's kind of campy. But yeah...wow...the dude made AVP? That man should be shot, shot and destroyed. He's also responsible for the heinous Resident Evil films? Wow.....uh.....wow. AND DOA, tell me, how do you take something as great as DOA and make a shitty, shitty film off of it. Worst casting choice ever...it has that girl from My Name Is Earl in it...playing one of the leads....eugh. Well, thanks for showing me who's making these terrible films, I'll take my anger that used to be directed at Uwe Boll at him now.
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Uwe's response to the petition:
“Look, I’m not a F**king retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business… or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look in my movies you will see my real genius,” Boll said in a video statement. “You have to really wake up and see me what I am, the only genius in the whole f**king business.”
He also urged his 'true fans' to start a 'pro-Boll' petition in anger.
Fool. Signed. For the lulz.
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Why cant we just break his legs like a regular angry mob?
The internet never pulls through in the end.
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“You have to really wake up and see me what I am, the only genius in the whole f**king business.”
Talk about an ego-trip there. I wonder if he just nailed his own coffin lid shut there.
I mean wasn't it known this man challenged any critic of his work to a boxing match!? And as a runner up prize, you got to be an extra in the film?
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Guys there is no way you can even compare WS Anderson to Uwe Boll. For a start Anderson made Event Horizon, which was not that bad whereas Uwe Boll made all his films. Anderson is probably one of my favourite directors, at least with his films I am always guaranteed that I will laugh and clap my hands.
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For a start Anderson made Event Horizon,
Best scene in that movie in my own opinion, when they walk through the ship. Lightning occurs and on the walls you see all the crew remains. This is a lovley introduction to the movie!
But just to continue I think Uwe is feeling quite insecure that so many people dislike his interpretation, im sure there are people out there who do, there must be. Just when he says that he is the only director that is any good, it simply seals his fate in the history books.
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I don't blame Ben Kingsley for a lot of things, but this reminds me of Bob Hoskins doing "Super Mario Bros."
Maybe Ben and Bob were just bored, and who are we to stop well-versed actors like them from signing up for these horrible movies.
The trailers for Dungeon Siege were pretty entertaining, though.
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I just don't get how you can defend Uwe Boll. I don't even really care about all the franchieses in the movies he's made. It's just that they are terrible movies.
The only reason this man is even able to make films is because of this weird loophole in German tax law, anyway. He shouldn't be making movies. Plain and simple.
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http://www.petitiononline.com/bollsave/petition.html
Alright, I found the Save Uwe Boll petition. 28 signatures and counting. Make the right choice, guys.
edit:
here is a different one (http://www.petitiononline.com/uwelive/petition.html) with about 1,000 more signatures.
Also, thanks to this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWqCNmfJ1hY), "I like Uwe Boll as a person" just passed "messing with those who hate his movies" as the primary motivation for my support.
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I found the Save Uwe Boll petition. 28 signatures and counting.
I'd say personally about 50% of these votes are just to mess with the people voting against it. Like the above posts.
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AND DOA, tell me, how do you take something as great as DOA and make a shitty, shitty film off of it.
I'm not so sure what surprises me more: that there was a DOA movie or that someone is surprised that it sucked. I had honestly never heard of it, although as far as I could tell the franchise had always just substituted fanservice for depth anyway.
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I'm pretty sure I'd rather see Mel Gibson stop making movies before Uwe Boll.
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I was hoping that Passion had killed his career. No such luck.
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But just to continue I think Uwe is feeling quite insecure that so many people dislike his interpretation, im sure there are people out there who do, there must be. Just when he says that he is the only director that is any good, it simply seals his fate in the history books.
I watched the Resident Evil movies, all in one sitting... I have a friend that loves them (also, true story, his favorite movie of the last few years is 10,000 B.C.). He and I don't exactly have the same taste, needless to say. He's a well-enough meaning guy, but yeesh. I think if Uwe Boll stopped making movies, he would probably never see another movie.
I personally don't particularly care for his movies, but since I don't care I wouldn't bother to sign a petition. I'd just spend that time telling you guys what I won't be doing.
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Is there a "Save Uwe Boll" petition I can sign? I would rather have one man continue to make silly, harmless movies than see the dumb rage of a million nerds actually make a change.
There's something very wrong with this post and I hope you realise what it is.
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dunno if this has been posted here before:
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/feature-articles/behind-scenes-uwe.php?page=2
one of the writers on Alone in the Dark documenting the writing process with Boll's input. Hilarious.
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There's something very wrong with this post and I hope you realise what it is.
Are you suggesting that it's possible to be TOO correct? Because if so, yes, I just might be guilty.
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I'd also like to remind you kids that Raging Boll was one of the finest events for our generation
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Is there a "Save Uwe Boll" petition I can sign? I would rather have one man continue to make silly, harmless movies than see the dumb rage of a million nerds actually make a change.
There's something very wrong with this post and I hope you realise what it is.
Actually, I think I've changed my mind on this whole Uwe Boll thing. I want him to keep making movies. His movies are truly harmless, the video games he bases them off aren't amazing games in the first place. Who actually played Bloodrayne? How many people actually played Alone in the Dark? The man makes bad films out of bad videogames. But he's hilarious, I like the guy, he says exactly what he wants to say and doesn't take crap from anyone. I'm not going to see his films, but I think I'd rather sign the Save Uwe Boll petition.
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Are you suggesting that it's possible to be TOO correct? Because if so, yes, I just might be guilty.
Actually, I'd much rather see nerd rage get things done than stew in between graphics cards, D&D books and Iron Maiden albums.
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But just to continue I think Uwe is feeling quite insecure that so many people dislike his interpretation, im sure there are people out there who do, there must be. Just when he says that he is the only director that is any good, it simply seals his fate in the history books.
I watched the Resident Evil movies, all in one sitting... I have a friend that loves them (also, true story, his favorite movie of the last few years is 10,000 B.C.). He and I don't exactly have the same taste, needless to say. He's a well-enough meaning guy, but yeesh. I think if Uwe Boll stopped making movies, he would probably never see another movie.
I personally don't particularly care for his movies, but since I don't care I wouldn't bother to sign a petition. I'd just spend that time telling you guys what I won't be doing.
Uh dude, the Resident Evil films were not directed by Uwe Boll. Indeed the man had nothing to do with them! They were all written by Paul WS Anderson but only the first film was directed by him. Apocalypse and Extinction were directed by Alexander Witt and Russel Mulcahy respectively. I'm not saying these were great films, far from it, but they were not in any way connected to Boll and it showed because they were watchable.
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How many people actually played Alone in the Dark? The man makes bad films out of bad videogames.
Me, for one. Alone in the Dark is the template for all survival horror games and is actually a pretty fuckin' good masterpiece of early PC gaming, one of the few games that pull off a foreboding Lovecraftian story well. Not that I actually care in regards to Boll's movie, but I will take offense at the notion that AitD 1 or 2 are bad. (The rest I don't care about.)
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Uh dude, the Resident Evil films were not directed by Uwe Boll. Indeed the man had nothing to do with them! They were all written by Paul WS Anderson but only the first film was directed by him. Apocalypse and Extinction were directed by Alexander Witt and Russel Mulcahy respectively. I'm not saying these were great films, far from it, but they were not in any way connected to Boll and it showed because they were watchable.
Aw, dang. Why oh why didn't I imdb before I posted?
...sorry. Forgiveness please?
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I think I might just be in the minority of people who really and honestly enjoy the films of Paul WS Anderson. Honestly he is one of my favourite directors.
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On the topic of that Raging Boll event, it was hilarious only the casual observer, and anybody who read first hand accounts of the people involved would realise that really, it was just about Uwe Boll wanting to beat the shit out of some of his critics. Say what you will, I think that's an asshole thing to do, since his critics are actually right to dismiss his movies and his methods.
The idea that this petition is about the "dumb rage of a million angry nerds" is ridiculous. Are you implying that the vast majority of people into movies are nerds? I can understand the assumption that people who play videogames are nerds, but there's a thousands of people in the movie industry who hate Uwe Boll because the man has shown himself time and time again to be a complete asshole who knowingly waste millions of dollars to make crap movies he can still profit from. That's a lot of money.
The man made some shitty movies, wasting millions of dollars of tax money, knowing he would still profit, and when some people stood up and said "That's pretty bad conduct" he told them they were invited to a "boxing match PR stunt". He informed the ones who asked that they would receive training, lying to their faces, as he didn't provide training at all. He put them into the ring, with no experience and then beat the crap out of them. Casual observes ignored the 'asshole factor' and heralded the man as a genius, dismissing his critics as "angry nerds".
I don't care about his movies. I haven't even seen them. But there has been no evidence to suggest he's a nice man, or a smart man, yet there's plenty of evidence to suggest that he himself, is a very very "angry nerd".
I voted to stop Uwe Boll, because the man is a jerk.
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Who cares if Uwe Boll is an asshole? There are bigger assholes in the movie business who just happen to be more talented. This has nothing to do with him personally and everything to do with the movies he makes. Do we want Quentin Tarantino to stop making movies because he is, by all rights, a massive dick? What about Lars von Trier or Micheal Haneke? I'd bet you that the Hollywood lobby saps more money out of the US Government per year in pork and tax breaks than Uwe Boll will sap from Germany in the entirety of his career. Do we really want to say that Spiderman 3 or Evan Almighty was less of a waste of money than any of Boll's cheap stinkers because they came from investors instead of taxpayers? They weren't totally without quality like Boll's films, but they cost exponentially more. Both of those movies cost at least half a billion dollars put together. You could put a real dent in some global problem with that kind of money. To my knowledge, Boll's tax loophole has been closed. Huge, garish blockbusters will continue to be made long after Boll's imminent demise as a filmmaker, and they'll make his waste look like fuckin' peanuts.
Anyway, I don't mean to be too argumentative. Yeah, Boll is a dick (the statement he released with his "save Boll" petition was pretty indicative) but on the other hand, people who do have talent also tend to be dicks as well. If we resent certain "artists" because of their egos, can we love others in spite of them and be reasonably consistent?
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I can't think of any other 'artist' that used a boxing match as an excuse to assault his critics. This is an opportunity to give the man a much needed lesson in humility. I can't understand why people wouldn't approve.
And sure, most big budget movies suck and are a waste of billions of dollars per year. But the guys making those movies didn't say they'd stop if they had a million critics. Uwe Boll is being singled out simply because he basically asked to be singled out.
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It's not just that Boll is an asshole. It's not just that he's making money making terrible movies. It's not just that he give video games a black eye every time he makes a movie. It's not just that
It's that he thinks he's awesome (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWqCNmfJ1hY) while doing all those things.
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It's that he thinks he's awesome (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWqCNmfJ1hY) while doing all those things.
Yeah....but if you watch his movies...then you will see that he is a REAL genius...not like that idiot Michael Bay or Eli Roth.
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To be fair, those guys really suck as well.
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I don't care about his movies. I haven't even seen them. But there has been no evidence to suggest he's a nice man, or a smart man, yet there's plenty of evidence to suggest that he himself, is a very very "angry nerd".
oh darryl, why do you make it so easy to dismiss your arguments?
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Well, it is incredibly easy when people have an attention span as selective as yours.
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Does anybody really believe that Uwe Boll will stop making movies if a million people ask him to? I don't. But I do expect that it'd hurt his gigantic ego, and a little humility is a good thing. Maybe, just maybe, one million critics will make him reconsider his methods too. Again, by no means a bad thing.
Critics are not this hilarious entity that deserves to be ridiculed. That's just as ridiculous as saying somebody should stop making art because you don't like it. Critics are just as important as the artist.
On the very same subforums where a majority of people have said Nickelback are a huge joke that deserve rocks be thrown at them, people are saying that Uwe Boll critics be ridiculed and dismissed for wanting to show their disapproval of his methods. Infact, some of the same individuals that think it's okay to throw objects at bands think it's okay to support Uwe Boll to piss of people that don't like him. That's pretty astounding.
You read it here first people. The QC forums think it's okay to throw rocks at people, and that it's okay to ridicule people for being vocal about an opinion.
To summarise:
-Man uses questionable methods to produce cheap movies at the expense of other people in order to make a profit.
-People question methods and artistic merit of said movies
-Man calls these people idiots, uses a thinly disguised media event as an excuse to beat on said people.
-Petition is started to teach the man some humility
-Man arrogantly dismisses petitions, states it'd take "a million" critics to make him reconsider his methods
-People begin to sign petition, get vocal in order to bring man down a peg or two
-Some more people decide the critics are a big joke and that it'd be funnier to dismiss their opinions and provoke/ridicule them rather than ignore the topic on which they have no opinion, but choose to contribute to anyway.
-People get bored of thread and go back to talking about how funny and cool it was that somebody urinated on the Mars Volta's expensive equipment and reminisce about the time that somebody landed a rock on Chad Kroeger's head.
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You're completely and totally correct. I need to work on my reading comprehension skill somewhat. I have to admit that I feel like something of an asshat for completely missing the point and misinterpreting the intention of the petition, and the majority of post in this thread. I picked my arguments poorly and chose the completely wrong thread for them. I presented them in a way that screams "I don't know what I am talking about!" and I'll try harder in the future.
That said...
a)Nickelback dude hit by a rock thrown by anonymous person.
That is never funny! Dude got hit by a rock by somebody who thought it'd be funny to hit him with a rock. Coulda put a dude's eye out. A rock is a projectile weapon.
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My friend got put into intensive care for a couple of weeks and had epilepsy for months after when he got hit in the head by a rock. Violence isn't always fun and games!
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I guess this opening sequence of Postal is what Boll was talking about when he called himself a genius
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt_tv7t79WY
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I guess this opening sequence of Postal is what Boll was talking about when he called himself a genius
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Vt_tv7t79WY
That tiny little clip alone has completely convinced me to go see Postal for myself.....I do hope it lasts in theatres for more than a day or two.
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Doesn't that one feature full frontal Dave Foley?
Count me in.
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Shit, that actually was pretty funny. And seems to capture a bit of that sort of controversy that a game like Postal is all about anyway.
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My friend got put into intensive care for a couple of weeks and had epilepsy for months after when he got hit in the head by a rock. Violence isn't always fun and games!
Dude got hit by a rock by somebody who thought it'd be funny to hit him with a rock. Coulda put a dude's eye out.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's just games.
I'd support a petition for throwing a rock at Boll ... but I can't be bothered finding one or starting one. Or clicking on the link to one. Posting is just borderline with regards to effort.
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Not flippin' likely...
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Man you guys. A lightningbolt just hit me.
What if he's right? What if, after the petition completes, we finally realize what marvels his movies are?
His name will be up there with Tarkowsky, Polanski, Bergman and Tornatore, and we'll be all "dude please make more movies" and he'll be all "nah you fucking hate them anyway".
It could be true...most of the people who hate him don't actually see his films....and most artists aren't understood or appreciated in their time....Uwe Boll might just be a genius.
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It might require genius to build a skyscraper out of diarrhea water. Doesn't mean I want to work there.
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If you don't like it, make your own films. Uwe Boll is not stopping you from doing so.
I fully plan to. Didn't stop me from signing the damn thing. On a slightly funny sidenote, I'm in my psych class at the moment, and we're studying abnormal behavior. One of the ways to classify abnormal behavior is if it violates the cultural standards of a society. I'd say his movies clearly violate the culture of excellent filmmaking by being really shitty, which a lot of other people agree with. So his behavior is abnormal, and has also been going on for a long time which is another clue in to someone having a mental disorder, so this isn't just temporary insanity. He's a megomaniacal tax law loophole abuser to boot. Dude needs to be in jail or in a mental hospital. That way we're no trying to censor him directly, and yet he still won't be able to make any more movies! Its foolproof
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Huh? Fuck off. While Uwe Boll seems to be a complete dick, and I don't think I've seen his films but I think I can trust the critics on them, calling someone insane and locking them up for violating 'cultural standards' sounds like the worst plan since the final solution. I know your post isn't really serious, but it makes me regret signing the thing (twice).
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Funny story: I just watched Dungeon Siege.
If it isn't one of the worst and most boring films I've ever seen in my life I don't know what is. It was boring, predictable, stupid and just unbearable to watch. The actors were mostly good, but there was the occasional person who was just like...eugh. But hell, the movie reminded me SO much like LOTR but just ripped off so badly. They managed to make some potentially great fight scenes boring....how they did that I don't really know too well. With that said I'm still going to see Postal.
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It's fine to talk about community censorship and defend Boll's suck-itdue as personal freedom, but then, it's the personal freedom of those who sign the petition to express their views. So don't go castigating people for using the freedom of expression when you're defending Boll's right to do the same.
Uwe Boll can make shitty movies. People can sign petitions to get him to stop making shitty movies, which he claims he will abide by. This isn't censorship we're talking about here. If he does indeed decide to not make movies (a long shot), it's of his own accord. Don't rail against the opinions of a group of people when their opinion isn't forcing someone to stop doing what they love to do. This petition isn't a binding action, christ.
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Huh? Fuck off. While Uwe Boll seems to be a complete dick, and I don't think I've seen his films but I think I can trust the critics on them, calling someone insane and locking them up for violating 'cultural standards' sounds like the worst plan since the final solution. I know your post isn't really serious, but it makes me regret signing the thing (twice).
literally only said it because I actually brought it up in class. Funny thing is there were several people in there who knew what I was talking about. Its not only not serious, and yeah, I sorta regret signing it too. I will defeat Boll in my own way, one day if I make it big I'm definitely going to have really negative reference to his stuff in my films. Or even better, have characters who completely and utterly trash him in their dialogues. I will make him my enemy, my... nemesis.
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OK seriously, that opening bit of Postal actually is pretty genius. I've never seen an Uwe Boll movie because none of them sounded appealing even if they were done well (I mean, I like video games, but the list of "good movies made from video games" basically begins and ends with Super Mario Brothers). But now I genuinely want to see Postal.
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the list of "good movies made from video games" basically begins and ends with Super Mario Brothers
Wait, what?
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(http://chrisallensite.com/wordpress/images/doom_bigposter.jpg)
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Edit : Seems the above post changed from TRON to Doom.
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I don't have any idea what you're talking about...
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The Doom was horrible, it murdered the story and was predictably hollywood.
I did enjoy the first Mortal Kombat movie.
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I think some video game movies are ok, not amazing but at least watchable. As mentioned above Mortal Kombat is one of them, mainly for the fact that the martial arts holds up and the soundtrack is actaully quite good. Streetfighter: The Movie is not wholly unenjoyable simply because Raul Julia steals every scene he is in, but then it's Raul Julia so you can't be that surprised can you? It's not a great film but it has jean Claude Van Damme in it so surely your expectations for it can't be that high? I mean have you seen Bloodsport/Timecop/Sudden Death/Hard Target/Any Van Damme film ever?
Another not too terrible video game is...Well I found the Resident Evil series to be really very ok. Not cinematic masterpieces but I didn't want to kill myself and everyone around me after I watched it like I did with actual hollywood blockbusters such as say, Transformers. Unfortunately other than that I can't really think of any others. Super Mario Bros was basically terrible, Doom I never even saw but I watched some of it on youtube and it made me really sad. I'm vaguely interested in seeing Bloodrayne but that's just because I like vampire flicks, I've never even knew it was a game until I read "based on the hit video-game" on the back of the DVD case at the video shop.
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I think the problem with video-game movies is that they choose video-games where you can't really do much to change it into a movie. Here are some video games that I believe would stand up incredibly well as movies.
Prince of Persia: Imagine this.....in Parkour. I first started thinking about this when I saw that French film...I think it was District somethingortheother and it had an insane amount of AMAZING parkour in it. The things they could do with Prince of Persia would be absolutely amazing. And the cool prince from The Sands of Time...none of that angsty anti-hero bullcrap.
Shadows of the Colossus: This is a slightly odd stretch, I'll admit. But this is the video-game that I want made into a movie the most. It'd be entirely green-screen and almost completely silent except for when Dormin speaks. It'd be just absolutely amazing.
God of War: Boobs, blood, swearing......it'd be the absolute perfect popcorn flick. It'd be exactly like Transformers in the sense that the movie itself would be terrible but everyone would love it because it'd be so much fun.
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Actually there are rumours of a Prince of Persia film in the works that got put on hold due to the writer's strike. It's meant to have heaps of parkour and is going to be based off the latest game trilogy so it will have the cool Prince from Sands of Time and the second one will likely be a bit darker to match the tone of Warrior Within, whether that is a mistake is yet to be seen. The only thing I'm worried about is who was last on board to direct. Michael Bay. And it doesn't look like things have changed.
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Well then it'll be EXACTLY like Transformers....it'll probably be everything I expect it to be. Wow dude, thanks SO much for that, I totally had no idea. You just completely made my week.
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Why haven't any crazed fans of any of the source materials he has butchered killed him yet?
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Am I the only person who, when Prince of Persia is mentioned, thinks of the first two games.?
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Yes.
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Streetfighter: The Movie remains one of the most incredible piss-your-pants-funny motion pictures. It's so bad that it's bad.
The best thing is that out of the hundreds of people involved in the making of this film, at no point did anyone stop and say to the person next to them -
"Wait, this is utter arse. We're making a big pile of steaming shit. What are we thinking?"
Probably for the same reason that the Bay of Pigs fiasco occurred and the Challenger shuttle exploded. A bunch of yes-men all okaying these horrible ideas because they don't want to make the group look bad. Sometimes when this happens there are needless deaths. Sometimes you get a film with Kylie Minougue saying what she is doing (she actually says "front kick!" when kicking to the front and "side kick!" when making a side kick) and Raul Julia delivering fantastic lines such as "For you the day that Bison graced your village and killed your father was the most important day of your life. For me it was Thursday."
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Am I the only person who, when Prince of Persia is mentioned, thinks of the first two games.?
Hell no, I've got them both on an emulator right now. God the first one is so fucking hard.
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Probably for the same reason that the Bay of Pigs fiasco occurred and the Challenger shuttle exploded.
Well...the Bay of Pigs failed because Kennedy was at first all like "hell yes let's freaking invade Cuba, get the FBI all overz that we'll give 'em support." And then he changed his mind, pulled all American personelle out of the operation, leaving only the exiled Cubans to go and fight. The only support they got was American weapons.
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Actually, yeah, the first Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil movies were pretty good. And I did love the hell out of Silent Hill.
Super Mario Bros. is so good because it's so completely fucking batshit crazy. It's like David Lynch directed it crazy. And that's why I love it.
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Probably for the same reason that the Bay of Pigs fiasco occurred and the Challenger shuttle exploded.
Well...the Bay of Pigs failed because Kennedy was at first all like "hell yes let's freaking invade Cuba, get the FBI all overz that we'll give 'em support." And then he changed his mind, pulled all American personelle out of the operation, leaving only the exiled Cubans to go and fight. The only support they got was American weapons.
Yes but the reason was because it was basically the decision was being made by one guy and all the advisors and other people who had a hand in it did not speak up when they saw glaring problems because of what is essentially groupthink. Everyone wants a positive outcome so much that they will repress their misgivings so that everyone, especially a charasmatic and intelligent leader such as Kennedy, ends up looking great. The problems start when said leader has terrible ideas that no one calls him/her on.
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Tommy, Uwe Boll's movies wouldn't be so bad if they didn't rape the source material so hard. I have nothing against him making movies as long as he either does something original or stays true to the source material.
It's like, some band goes "We will do a cover album of Sonic Youth songs", but they actually just write a bunch of their own dissonant rock with female vocals and hope no-one can tell the difference.
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what exactly is your problem with Blonde Redhead?
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You know Uwe Boll is bad when you start talking about Bay of Pigs and the Challenger exploding instead.
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You know Uwe Boll is bad when you start talking about Bay of Pigs and the Challenger exploding instead.
Yeah....but in our defence The Bay of Pigs Invasion, the Challenger and the Cuban Missile Crisis are pretty damn interesting.
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Tommy, Uwe Boll's movies wouldn't be so bad if they didn't rape the source material so hard. I have nothing against him making movies as long as he either does something original or stays true to the source material.
You are not serious. It is fuckin' impossible to rape Dungeon Siege or Bloodrayne. In fact, I would not be surprised if the films were steps up. And that's not even counting Postal, which is an awful game, and the movie looks gonzo funnay.
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BloodRayne 2 was an incredibly enjoyable game.
I don't recall it having a story, however, aside from "You should probably slice these people up. Also, you may wish to shoot them. It's your call, really."
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Slashdot Story (Today) (http://slashdot.org/)
WoW Insider (http://www.wowinsider.com/2008/04/21/blizzard-to-boll-thanks-but-no-thanks/)
WoW Response (http://moviesblog.mtv.com/2008/04/18/uwe-boll-wont-ever-be-entering-the-world-of-warcraft/)
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Let's remember that Uwe Boll wanted rights to both WoW and Metal Gear Solid. If he can't stay true to a shallow storyline like Bloodrayne or similar gorfests, how the hell is he supposed to make a good movie out of something ten times as complex? That still isn't particularly complex?
In any case, Uwe Boll should stop making movies.
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I'd love to see Uwe Boll's interpretation of Metal Gear Solid 2
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Huh, did MadAssAlex's post get eaten? Weird.
And I'll probably take some flack for saying this, but for all their cinematic flair, MGS games would make great Uwe Boll films. I mean, it's action-stealth-action-exposition-speech-exposition-wash-rinse-repeat-exposition. All Uwe would do would be replacing the stealth parts with 'splosions. I mean, who else but Uwe Boll would give every minor villain an impassioned dying speech about how their lives went so, so wrong? I can't think of any. Maybe Oli Stone.
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I'd love to see Uwe Boll's interpretation of Metal Gear Solid 2
I believe there is a Chinese version of it being made....or was made. I know however that the dude who made MGS was actually asked if he would let Uwe Boll adapt his game into a movie to which he nearly had a heart-attack before saying "no."
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Japanese version. Remember, Chinese are communists, Japanese just make great porn!
EDIT: FUCK my post was eaten what gives
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Bah. 770,000+ more signatures. This is taking too long. D:
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Uwe Boll is the perfect person to do Metal Gear Solid movies because THE GAMES MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE AND HAVE RETARDED PLOTS.
There. I said it.
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Uwe Boll must never, ever stop.
Who else is qualified to do the inevitable QC movie adaptation?
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David Lynch.
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I'm sorry jeph, but he might be dead soon.
(He challenged Micheal Bay to a Boxing Match)
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And Bay will inevitably use a giant transforming robot as his champion.
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I was under the impression that he was just going to take out wherever the match was being held with a giant comet.
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Who else is qualified to do the inevitable QC movie adaptation?
My mom, and she would leave the lens cap on.
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I was under the impression that he was just going to take out wherever the match was being held with a giant comet.
I think we've both got the wrong impression but one thing for sure is that it will be epic yet inconsequential.
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The AV Club (http://www.avclub.com/content/blog/i_paid_ten_dollars_to_see_postal) has a few things on the movie. They gave it a C- (http://www.avclub.com/content/cinema/postal), which is better than the F they gave the Dungeon Siege movie at least.
When I left the theater the projectionist came down and asked me what I thought of the film. I told him that I had expected something far worse and he abashedly confessed “The opening scene, you know, where the terrorists are arguing about the exact number of virgins they’ll receive in paradise, it’s almost, you know, kind of,” and then, measuring his words very carefully continued “mildly amusing”. This seemed to surprise him tremendously. Heck, it surprised me as well. This strange interaction summed up the whole experience of seeing Postal: Boll may not have made a movie that was, you know, good, or clever, but he certainly provided an utterly singular cinematic experience. You gotta give the guy that much.
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.........why don't you people understand? Uwe Boll is a REAL F*cking GENIUS. He even said so.....so it must be true! God...next thing you're going to say is that Michael Jackson touched those kids and that Kennedy was shot from the back......seriously people. People like Eli Roth and Michael Bay are just stupid retards who make the same movie over and over again. Michael Bay tried retorting....and now Boll has challenged him to a boxing match.......
but seriously guys...the man has the rights to Far Cry.....don't insult him TOO much or he'll get angry and actually direct a good film.