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Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: onewheelwizzard on 28 May 2008, 15:37

Title: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 28 May 2008, 15:37
Gentlemen, behold! (http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/29/science/29brain.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin)
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: imapiratearg on 28 May 2008, 15:43
That's freaking awesome.  Cyborg people are a scientific probability now!
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: pi on 28 May 2008, 15:58
soon, soon.
(http://www.chromewaves.net/images/interface/docOck.jpg)
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: ViolentDove on 28 May 2008, 16:18
A super intelligent half-cyborg macaque monkey would be an awesome supervillain.

It's only a matter of time...

Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: blanktom on 28 May 2008, 16:23
(http://scottthong.files.wordpress.com/2006/10/mojojojo1.jpg)
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Blue Kitty on 28 May 2008, 16:31
The future is now my friends.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Dissy on 28 May 2008, 16:34
This is old news, seriously guys.  I've known about this since 2006.

I remember cause it really pissed me off because that is my field of study, and I wanted to be a part of that team.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: ViolentDove on 28 May 2008, 17:16
You know Dissy, upon being excluded from the project, a real scientist would've sworn to get revenge, and created their own dark army of cybernetic monkeys to do their bidding.


Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: ImRonBurgundy? on 28 May 2008, 17:23
Yeah, but it's so hard to find funding for that sort of thing nowadays.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: KickThatBathProf on 28 May 2008, 17:26
Man you and Professor Farnsworth should get together and have a mad scientist party.

It would be great times
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: thepugs on 28 May 2008, 19:21
I knew I'd heard about this quite a while ago...

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn4262-monkeys-brain-signals-control-third-arm.html
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: RedLion on 28 May 2008, 20:04
It won't be the future until I have my goddam jetpack.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: ViolentDove on 28 May 2008, 20:09
You know they exist, right?

You could probably get one if you have enough money.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Thaes on 28 May 2008, 23:53
So now I know what Iīll do when I become filthy rich (after going to a laser surgery to fix my eyes, of course): replace both of my arms with cybernetic ones! My dream is coming true!
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: imapiratearg on 29 May 2008, 04:46
Yeah!  You could be like that weird four-armed dude from Mortal Komat!
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: 0bsessions on 29 May 2008, 06:24
I remember cause it really pissed me off because that is my field of study, and I wanted to be a part of that team.

Your field of study is cyborg monkeys? Does that fall under robotics or anthropology or what?
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Thaes on 29 May 2008, 08:21
Man why would you replace them? Just get two more!

Because organic arms will eventually become useless, while cybernetic ones will most likely last forever.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 29 May 2008, 09:28
So you're saying by the time you become filthy rich you'll be too old to enjoy it anyway, unless they've come out with robotic arms by then?
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Thaes on 29 May 2008, 09:30
Thatīs most likely the case, yes. I donīt want to be just an average rich person, you see.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Dissy on 29 May 2008, 11:19
I remember cause it really pissed me off because that is my field of study, and I wanted to be a part of that team.

Your field of study is cyborg monkeys? Does that fall under robotics or anthropology or what?

Robotic engineering.  And I actually want to one day see a way to get a usable prosthetic, like hands, and legs that function, and look real-ish
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: muffy on 29 May 2008, 15:07
When you do, can I have one?
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: RedLion on 29 May 2008, 15:45
You know they exist, right?

You could probably get one if you have enough money.

I was led to believe that they would be widely available for public usage in the "future."

Also. ROBARTS!
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Sox on 29 May 2008, 16:30
Honestly? That's about as likely as a readily available and cheap cure for cancer. Yes, it's something that should really be free to people unfortunate enough to need one. But you KNOW that if you can't afford it, you will do without.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: pi on 29 May 2008, 16:36
You know they exist, right?

You could probably get one if you have enough money.

I was led to believe that they would be widely available for public usage in the "future."

Also. ROBARTS!

The main problem with this is that once jetpacks become widely available for the public, the "future" will be "now", i.e. future=present. In this instant, when the future happens, there will no longer be a future, and things will cease to change. The temperature will become absolute zero.

This way, if, before this happens, we do not invent time machines to travel to the past, the only time that has a future, we, as a race, will cease to exist.

Jetpack Day is December 21/23 2012 according to the Mayans, sooner by other civilizations.

Apocalypse future.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 29 May 2008, 16:39
anybody ever think that maybe the Mayans weren't predicting the apocalypse but maybe they just got sick of counting?
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: MrSteevo on 29 May 2008, 17:30
or did anyone wonder how reliable a prediction of the future by a race that got WIPED OUT is.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: pi on 29 May 2008, 17:49
You seem awfully sure of yourself for a person still living in the present.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Yakob on 29 May 2008, 17:50
I like how zen the monkey looks. You can almost hear him think "Do or do not, there is no try."
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: ViolentDove on 29 May 2008, 18:01
Are we living in The Future?

Let's see...

Flying Cars - check
Jet-packs - check
Robotic limbs/eyes controllable by thought - check
Clones - check
Genetically engineered animals/plants - check
Hologram phone calls - check
Autonomous killing robots - check

Teleportation - nope
Only food available a multi-purpose high-protein slop - nope
Living on another planet - nope
Artificial intelligence - not really
Time travel - nope

I'd say we're maybe half-way there?


Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Blue Kitty on 29 May 2008, 18:47
Man, we shouldn't tamper with time travel and teleportation any time soon, that shit will fuck you up.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Dissy on 29 May 2008, 21:10
You forgot Warp Drive!  With Warp Speed comes the sloutions to all other problems!  Including cancer
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Johnny C on 29 May 2008, 22:32
God reached his hand down from the sky
He flooded the land then he set it on fire
He said, "Fear me again. Know I'm your father.
Remember that no one can breathe underwater"

So bend your knees and bow your heads
Save your babies, here's your future
Yeah, here's your future

God reached his hand down from the sky
God asked Noah if he wanted to die
He said no sir
Oh, no, sir

God said here's your future
It's going to rain
So we're packing our things
We're building a boat
Where God will create the new master race
Cause we're so pure
Oh, we're so pure
So here's your future

God told his son it's time to come home
I promise you won't have to die all alone
I need you to pay for the sins I create
His son said, "I will but Dad, I'm afriad"

Yeah, so here's your future
Here's your future
Yeah, here's your future
So here's your future
So here's your future
So here's your future
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: 0bsessions on 30 May 2008, 08:19
Artificial intelligence - not really
Time travel - nope

Time travel is essentially proven implausible by the fact no one has ever popped up and proven it exists by now. In the whole of future human existence, if time travel were invented, you can be sure that some dumb twat would find a way to sneak his way back and blow the whistle.

Also, video games have A.I.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: jhocking on 30 May 2008, 08:35
He said "not really," not just "no." The AI in videogames is not terribly advanced. I'm guessing that by "Artificial Intelligence" he's talking about something you could actually hold a conversation with.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Dissy on 30 May 2008, 08:52
He said "not really," not just "no." The AI in videogames is not terribly advanced. I'm guessing that by "Artificial Intelligence" he's talking about Data aka Ol' Yellow eyes.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: jhocking on 30 May 2008, 09:27
Although Da Vinci's inventions were advanced for their time, I think we can safely assume that a guy from the future wouldn't do things like study alchemy.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: jhocking on 30 May 2008, 09:32
That way madness lies.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 30 May 2008, 10:52
Time travel is essentially proven implausible by the fact no one has ever popped up and proven it exists by now. In the whole of future human existence, if time travel were invented, you can be sure that some dumb twat would find a way to sneak his way back and blow the whistle.

Stephan Hawking would disagree with you. he says that while time travel is theoretically impossible as far as we know (not to mention the fact that we've seen no visiters from the future, obviously), it could be possible if it required some ridiculous rift or warp in space or some ungodly energy source that, at this point, hasn't existed yet. so if that thing came into existence at some point and made time travel possible then you would only be able to travel within the lifespan of that thing, whatever it may be.

for example, they are turning on some kind of blackhole generater in September and some speculate that it could destroy us all or even have visitors from the future showing up. this is all highly unlikely but if Stephan Hawking says so, it must have at least some merit.

for a crude visual representation made by me in Paint, see link. (http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e243/hile-gunslinger/timetraveldiagram.jpg)
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: jhocking on 30 May 2008, 11:11
That's not how videogames work.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: redglasscurls on 30 May 2008, 13:18
Am I the only person who is slightly uneasy with the wording of this thread's title? I feel like it ought to be "run" not "ran"
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 30 May 2008, 13:26
i never noticed because i always just see the capital NY and ignore the rest.

but now that you mention it, yeah that's not right at all.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: calenlass on 31 May 2008, 05:14
I hate this thread because of its horrible grammar.


Other than that, good show.





(It is "run". "Has run" is the singular present perfect tense of the verb "to run", and "run" is the participle. "Ran" is the singular preterite and does not use helping verbs. Also I guess no one knows how to form proper appositives or direct addresses with commas anymore.)
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: smellslikemagic on 31 May 2008, 19:01
So as far as those monkeys can tell, they can magically manipulate objects to do their bidding.  They probably think they are Overlords of some description.  This is NOT a good thing!  It can only lead to Monkey Terror, i.e. terror inflicted upon us by monkeys.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: jhocking on 31 May 2008, 19:49
dude no that is hilarious. Imagine the look on their face when they turn on their human captors, only to realize that the arms have been turned off.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: ViolentDove on 31 May 2008, 20:13
Stephan Hawking would disagree with you. he says that while time travel is theoretically impossible as far as we know (not to mention the fact that we've seen no visiters from the future, obviously), it could be possible if it required some ridiculous rift or warp in space or some ungodly energy source that, at this point, hasn't existed yet. so if that thing came into existence at some point and made time travel possible then you would only be able to travel within the lifespan of that thing, whatever it may be.

for example, they are turning on some kind of blackhole generater in September and some speculate that it could destroy us all or even have visitors from the future showing up. this is all highly unlikely but if Stephan Hawking says so, it must have at least some merit.

for a crude visual representation made by me in Paint, see link. (http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e243/hile-gunslinger/timetraveldiagram.jpg)

Also, time travel into the future is a whole bunch easier, and theoretically plausible. Because mass can curve space/time, basically all you have to do is be in proximity to something suitably massive enough to warp time relative to the rest of the universe. Time "slows" for you in relation to everything else, and you pop out in the future. The problem would be surviving it.

They did this experiment with a clock on a plane, and a clock on the ground. They calibrated both of them to the same time, then flew the plane around for a bit. Because the clock on the ground was closer to the mass of the earth, it ended up slower than the one in the plane.

Or something like that... my memory is a bit sketchy on the subject.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Thaes on 01 Jun 2008, 02:31
So as far as those monkeys can tell, they can magically manipulate objects to do their bidding.  They probably think they are Overlords of some description.  This is NOT a good thing!  It can only lead to Monkey Terror, i.e. terror inflicted upon us by monkeys.

Cybernetic Monkey Overlords... Sounds like a good name for a band (or for a horror movie, if someone finished the title with something like "from 6th Dimension")
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Barmymoo on 01 Jun 2008, 08:59
And how do we know it hasn't happened already?

Quote from: Busted
I've been to the year three thousand
Not much has changed but they live under water
And your great-great-great-granddaughter
Is pretty fine.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Tom on 02 Jun 2008, 15:19
Like Rapture before the shit hit the fan.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: GenericName on 02 Jun 2008, 15:44
Guys, we're traveling into the future right now

Also, I third the "old news" proclamation.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Dissy on 02 Jun 2008, 16:36
future, bah.  The future is not here, its tomorrow
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Scrambled Egg Machine on 02 Jun 2008, 16:53
I regularly do. I still am amazed by the scope of technology in my world.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: ViolentDove on 02 Jun 2008, 17:34
Yeah... when wifi is free and ubiquitous, it'll be pretty futuristic. Anything you want to know, anytime, you'll be able to find out. It'll totally ruin pub trivia.

Also, I'm kind of worried people won't have to store knowledge in their heads any more, because information on everything will be so easy to access. I guess this is kind of a semi-irrational fear.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: RedLion on 02 Jun 2008, 21:41
A while back, I read that, scientifically, there's more information in a week's worth of The New York Times than most people in the 1700's learned in their entire lives.

On some level, that almost scares me.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: jhocking on 02 Jun 2008, 23:15
Yet another of the many fine reasons to be glad you are alive today and not the 18th century.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: GenericName on 03 Jun 2008, 02:57
But no one reads a week's worth of the New York Times, unless they're going on a trip and have nothing else to do in the car.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: jhocking on 03 Jun 2008, 04:00
I don't think the point of that little factoid is that someone is going to learn an 18th century lifetime of information in a week, but rather it's a vivid and easily grasped demonstration of how much more information is at our fingertips in this day and age.
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 03 Jun 2008, 10:58
i maintain that we are not in the future yet, but will be when they replace the internet. (http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/223005/technology_replacing_the_internet.html)
Title: Re: Probably the greatest headline the NY Times has ever ran
Post by: waterloosunset on 03 Jun 2008, 13:21
monkeys, a chip and a mechanical arm. hmmm.

rule 34....