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Fun Stuff => ENJOY => Topic started by: onewheelwizzard on 18 Jun 2008, 09:58

Title: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: onewheelwizzard on 18 Jun 2008, 09:58
Here's the description:

"The film follows the adventures of two comrades, Murat (Arkın) and Ali (Akkaya), whose ships crash on a desert planet following a space battle that apparently inserts footage from the actual Star Wars films as well as newsreel clips of both Soviet and American space rockets. While in the desert one of them says that perhaps it is a planet only populated by women, so the other man begins to do his whistle which he uses to attract women. However, he uses the wrong whistle, and they are then assaulted by skeletons on horseback. . . . The [film's main] villain mentions that he was actually from Earth and is in reality a 1,000 year old wizard. He tries to defeat the Earth, but his attacks are always repelled by a shield of concentrated human brain molecules. . . . While there, Murat develops a romantic connection with the only woman there (Uçar), who is tasked with looking after the children. The scenes in which they are together often play music from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Zombie minions of the dark lord soon attack the cave, and several of the children killed and turn into zombies themselves . . .

"A mentor, Peyda, then informs Murat about a sword made by "the 13th clan" by melting a mountain thousands of "space years" ago . . . . Unfortunately Ali is killed soon thereafter. Grief-stricken, Murat decides the next logical step is to boil his golden sword and gold-like human brain in a large pot and forge them into a pair of gauntlets and boots. Now girded with magically-endowed gloves and super-jumping boots, he sets off to find the dark lord and avenge his friend's death. After fighting the many minions, he comes face-to-face with his nemesis and karate-chops him in half. The film ends with a Star Wars-like ending speech where the watcher learns that human brain is the strongest weapon in the whole universe."

I dare you to sit through it from start to finish.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7069307816427160377
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: loam on 18 Jun 2008, 11:08
That is awful. There is no possible way I could sit through that whole thing. I'm surprised they could film the whole thing without killing themselves.
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: Dimmukane on 18 Jun 2008, 11:53
We could just rename this thread and talk about terrible rip-offs of movies that didn't pay any licensing, whether legally (here) or illegally (that godawful Bollywood version of Oldboy).
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: Ishotdanieljohnston on 18 Jun 2008, 17:07
The music alone nearly destroyed me. One of the guys in the credits is called Kunt. Lol.
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: Sox on 18 Jun 2008, 17:56
I would have watched the movie if you didn't type the entire thing in the first post!
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: De_El on 18 Jun 2008, 22:59
I done it! I watched it with some friends. And a little weed. It was kind of necessary.
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: Schmorgluck on 19 Jun 2008, 03:27
Yeah, the friends are quite necessary. The weed is a good idea, I'll try next time.

I've seen it sometimes ago, in widescreen, at a science-fiction convention. This thing is very, very hard liquor, it's not your average bad movie, it's the real thing!

To quote my post about it in the Terrible Movies Thread (http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,19098.200.html):
It's the astounding result of a total lack of means with a total lack of talent, put together by a drop of pretentiousness and a whole tank of shameless plagiarism.

It's full of surprises, in the sense that it manages to get worse even when you think it's impossible. It starts rock bottom, then it digs. With a massive drilling rig. And occasionally dynamite.
It's spectacularly bad and I heartily recommend it - if you're a bit pervert.
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: carrotosaurus on 20 Jun 2008, 06:09
It's not even laughably bad, it's much much worse than that. There are way too many cringe-worthy moments...
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: thepugs on 20 Jun 2008, 06:51
Having seen this a while ago, I can say this movie is so abominably awful that it crosses the line back into awesome.

HE KARATE-CHOPS A GUY IN HALF, GUYS.  IN HALF.
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: Snarf on 20 Jun 2008, 08:17
Snarf wants to know if Jar Jar Binks is in this.  Jar Jar makes Star Wars cool.
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: Border Reiver on 20 Jun 2008, 16:32
Snarf, it's time for you to resume your Quest.  At least until you realize that Jar Jar Binks is an abomination that needs to be expunged from Star Wars.  That said, he'd actually improve the Turkish Star Wars.
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: Scandanavian War Machine on 20 Jun 2008, 17:04
whoa whoa whoa

is it really that bad? i haven't watched it yet but i have a hard time believing the inclusion of jar jar binks could improve anything.
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: Schmorgluck on 20 Jun 2008, 19:08
One important advice for people who want to watch this train wreck: while it's fun if viewed in the right state of mind, don't watch it with bricks or other blunt objects at hand. Seriously. Because, at times, the temptation to smash your own head may be too high.
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: Border Reiver on 21 Jun 2008, 11:14
whoa whoa whoa

is it really that bad? i haven't watched it yet but i have a hard time believing the inclusion of jar jar binks could improve anything.

It's so bad that it has no redeeming features - it is not even a movie that is "so bad, its good"  It is "Yor - The Hunter of the Future" kind of bad....
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: Thaes on 21 Jun 2008, 11:32
I´ve watched the fighting scene at the end of this movie on Youtube and, well... I can´t come up with ways to describe it, really. I laughed the entire time I watched it, especially when he uses those throwing stars. Or when he fights the mummies (at least, I think they were mummies...)
Title: Re: Turkish Star Wars
Post by: RedLion on 21 Jun 2008, 22:10
This has been around for awhile, but yeah, it's mind-bogglingly atrocious. Turkish cinema is a, ah, underdeveloped art, to say the least.