THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Ozymandias on 09 Aug 2008, 11:34
-
What I am saying is that it is now required that since Kieffer has been banned twice that we should just go ahead and deify him and propagate the mythology of how great he was and how much less the forums are for lacking him.
He had the best fashion sense. If those Queer Eye dudes were mostly straight and combined into one person and then given amazing hair, that would be Kieffer.
-
This was not a good idea for a thread.
-
Fuck you, Bryan, the people deserve to know about everything Kieffer did for us.
-
well wasn't he the guy who gave Jeph the whole webcomic idea in the first place?
-
i hung out with him once in chicago with julia and he gave me cigarettes and we got high and watched wilco. also he was very nice to my friend leslie, which i appreciated cos it was the first time leslie had ever met people from the internet. very cool guy.
to make this story more suitable for a mythology thread, i guess i could lie a bit and say that while in chicago i also saw kieffer get so angry he threw a car and immediately after proceeded to bang every girl in grant park. or something.
-
He is pretty cool a lot of the time. Sometimes he goes a little far, but he is usually funny.
-
I hear his balls taste like bourbon.
-
Probably more like sweaty, hairy balls.
-
This was not a good idea for a thread.
Why is this in the past tense? :-D
-
I never really got the whole Kieffer thing. Like he came outta know where posted 6,000 times a day and had in-jokes with most of the regulars. Like he got all A's without ever having done his homework.
-
he was just one of those people who was clearly superior to everyone else, I think that was why he was ultimately banned. Jealousy is a deadly thing, and we all know that the fat cats
in Washington didn't like it when he stole the hearts of the masses.
Anyone else blame Jeph for this? Because I do.
-
Who better to plot mythology than the ones who new him not!
-
Right off the bat I though Kieffer was an alt account of Tommy or an invention of Est and Jeph. That is until I saw pics of him in the photo thread of the time.
-
Kieffer has been around longer than when he appeared out of nowhere. Much longer. Since before the dawn of the forums, actually.
He's the Morning Star.
-
so he was real? why was he banned?
-
Because he did too many good things for the forums and est got tired of not having to mod stupidity.
-
Licking Keiffer is a very similar experience to the hallucinogenic experience people receive after licking certain toads, only it tastes like Knob Creek and there is yet to be one bad trip reported. It is highly illegal, and highly fun.
-
Is this supposed to be random facts about Kieffer a la Chuck Norris facts? =lease tell me I am wrong. That shit is just not funny. Plus Wal Mart is now printing them on notebooks/posters/t-shirts. Ugh.
-
Actually, I intended it to be more truthful and less ridiculous than that.
I honestly believe his balls probably taste of bourbon.
-
God damnit I missed the point again. Carry on!
-
Like he came outta know where
Dude, really? Really?
To be honest, I loved Kieffer. He was the villain that everyone loved to hate. I mean, let's face it facts. In all the time he';s been banned, you people still talk about him. I'd say that's some staying power for the old boy right there.
-
To me, there seemed like there was the gabbly Kieffer who was a pretty alright dude, and the forum Kieffer who seemed to be a massive dick for nil reason.
I did like that "ratings as a poster" thread he made!
-
I just read his poster rating thread and I gotta say... he was one hell of a dude. I mean, he's like the kinda guy you kinda want to hurt severely but also the kinda guy you run to to be insulted.
-
Star Wars porn among other things.
-
And Kieffer was who again?
I jest. Kieffer is a pretty cool guy
-
And lo, God did give unto us his only son Kieffer, who was born to this world in the guise of a baby, but nay it was no ordinary baby for he was the Lord, given to us to absolve us of all sins. And so under the light of a single unyielding star did the Virgin Mother give birth to Kieffer in a stable, while three kings and three shepards watched on, and brought gifts. Then nothing happened for a long time and then we nailed him to a cross.
Good times.
-
Kieffer was banned because I organised it to be so.
Take that however you want to.
-
Jimmy is Judas, Pontius Pilate, and the Jews all in one.
-
Pontius Pilate wasn't a bad guy. He was a dude who liked being in power and didn't want the Jews to turn against him so he just did what they suggested and had a guy, who was basically a trouble maker, killed in the most horrific way imaginable.
-
Of course you'd say that you fucking murderer
-
Jesus christ, this is the best thread to come back to after 2 weeks' absence.
Thank you, Ozy.
(verbal irony intended)
Also, guys, why are we trading stories about Kieffer? Is this even necessary? I mean, everyone knows the notorious legends of the great Makeout Hobo. Don't they?
-
And lo, God did give unto us his only son Kieffer, who was born to this world in the guise of a baby, but nay it was no ordinary baby for he was the Lord, given to us to absolve us of all sins. And so under the light of a single unyielding star did the Virgin Mother give birth to Kieffer in a stable, while three kings and three shepards watched on, and brought gifts. Then nothing happened for a long time and then we nailed him to a cross.
Good times.
Best post in this whole dang thread.
-
What I do not think some of the newer people understand is that Kieffer was actually the Makeout Hobo.
How can you, O Comic Readers, not deify him now?
-
Kieffer started out as this young guy who was kind of cool and seemed to be trying really hard for people to like him, but he was kind of funny sometimes! Then he was actually funny and put on a snarky assholish manner as a part of his humour! It was some good times. The somehow he became a massive dickhole and wasn't that funny anymore and also maybe he thought that all the times I'd put him on 3-day temp bans for posting porn or being a massive fucking douchebag were jokes or something because the rules don't apply to him and anyway ha ha, who would ban him 4reals, rite?
-
Kieffer was actually the Makeout Hobo
Literally people, she's not exaggerating.
-
That, Est, sounds alot more like the Kieffer I remembered.
-
I heard that motherfucker had, like, 30 goddamn dicks.
-
I heard that motherfucker had, like, 30 goddamn dicks.
It was thirty two.
And they were all sentient.
-
I have no idea who Kieffer was, or is. Sounds funny tho.
-
Thanks for posting!
-
In real life Kieffer is just a human person. Same as all supposedly famous, popular, or different people are generally just boring old humans. I mean, in real life, he isn't even that much of a douchebag, or terribly funny. I mean, sometimes you think maybe he thinks he is more funny than he is, but then you realise that that would add a level of interest beyond common human mediocrity.
Shit D what am I saying, no way, the guy's actually a robot alien sex toy from the other side of Neptune.
-
I don't like what you're saying here, man.
I mean, if you were right, that would mean everyone here could be different in the meat world from how they are on here. I mean, that can't be true right?
That....don't fucking say that.
-
What, Ozy, you're expecting me to actually be Thomas Edison?
Well... I'm afraid there's something I gotta' tell you...
-
Nah. Kiff did.
-
Because this thread is the perfect way of deterring the idea that this forum is a trifle insular and cliquey.
Seriously, Jordan, a thread that is essentially little more than an excuse to make in-jokes and verbally fellate a guy who hasn't even been allowed to post in this forum for about four months now? How is this a step up from those RP threads you were complaining about?
I really do hate to sound so negative, but threads like this are quite probably a big part of the reason we don't get a lot of quality new folks in here.
What's next? The "Boro_bandito is a pretty swell guy thread?" The "Sam is a minor but grows a great beard thread?"
-
Well. Phil is pretty great. He might just deserve his own thread.
-
A lot of people on this forum are pretty awesome. Having met a bunch of them, I'd say that I'm sure a lot of other people are awesome in real life, too. I wouldn't make threads about individual people though to talk about their awesomeness. On this board it's generally pretty easy to tell if people like you or not.
-
I came damn near close to doing that once. Had a wicked bump on my noggin, afterwards.
-
I walked into a door. It hurt.
-
It was more of a dash.
-
I ran full pelt into a glass door as a kid. It won. I got a bunch of stiches in my forehead and the door just got gently cleaned.
-
blah blah blah no one would ever make a thread about me
-
I don't like what you're saying here, man.
I mean, if you were right, that would mean everyone here could be different in the meat world from how they are on here. I mean, that can't be true right?
That....don't fucking say that.
I am basically the same on the internets as I am in real life, only in real life I am much less articulate and more likely to burst into tears than open my mouth, usually these things happen at the same time. Also, I hit people more in real life and I don't actually look like the abandoned house on top of a bridge.
-
So wait, did Kieffer get a permanent ban or another temporary one?
-
How exactly did he kick out the door in one piece? It into the bathroom. It seems to me that that shouldn't logically happen. Maybe if the door opened outward it would make sense, but as it stands, it doesn't make sense to me.
Also, Jordan, I stand by my assessment that in-joke threads about people who aren't even technically relevant to the forum anymore are rather weak.
-
I was hoping the thread would garner support to get him back because at least he said interesting things.
-
Yet another thread about global warming on the internet is not a good or interesting discussion.
-
Where is the Thread Summarizer? If he doesn't get his ass in here, I'll have to do it myself.
-
Thanks for posting!
I know, I quantify your existence.
-
Guys I have a confession to make:
Most of the people on this forum are sockpuppets run by me: Kieffer, Est, all the mods, most of you as well. In fact I'm only talking to one other person here.
Seriously guys, it'a magical world of puppets!
-
Yeah yeah. Life is unfair - kill yourself or get over it.
-
I think it's Sarah Nixey isn't it?
-
Wait, wait, I missed the part where people were talking about meeeeeee.
I made that thread back when I had less than 200 posts or something. And I like how everyone was basically burying me into the ground until Tommy came along and defended me and everything suddenly changed.... good times.
Also I'm not the other person, mwahahahaha!!!
-
So wait, did Kieffer get a permanent ban or another temporary one?
Permanent. When he received temp-bans in the past he feigned contrition then shit-talked, so fuck that.
I was hoping the thread would garner support to get him back because at least he said interesting things.
Not going to happen. I have a feeling he has a way of at least reading the forum at the moment, and perhaps had/still has an alt account he posts with in a manner at odds with his previous posting style. To be honest if he does then I don't care and he can stay around. I banned his main account and then kept banning his alt accounts because he wasn't getting the message that he was being a shit-head. If he has an alt now where he is not being a shit-head then the point is moot, but I won't be removing the ban and giving him another chance formally.