THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Comic Discussion => QUESTIONABLE CONTENT => Topic started by: frullic on 13 Apr 2009, 09:09

Title: warning?
Post by: frullic on 13 Apr 2009, 09:09
what do you think was on the GSX 9500's warning on the box?
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: JD on 13 Apr 2009, 09:21
Do not put in reach of children.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Border Reiver on 13 Apr 2009, 09:34
Do not operate heavy machinery after using.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Random832 on 13 Apr 2009, 12:16
Caution: GSX9500 may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. GSX9500 contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use GSX9500 on concrete. Discontinue use of GSX9500 if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. If GSX9500 begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. GSX9500 may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, GSX9500 should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of GSX9500 of any and all liability. Ingredients of GSX9500 include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. GSX9500 has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt GSX9500. GSX9500 comes with a lifetime warranty.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Jimor on 13 Apr 2009, 12:34
GSX9500 comes with a lifetime warranty.

"I'd like a refund."

"And why is that, sir?"

"It killed my wife."

"Well I'm afraid that means the warranty has expired. Good day."
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Zingoleb on 13 Apr 2009, 12:48
Do not taunt GSX9500.

Your wife probably ignored this warning.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: JacobSnickers on 13 Apr 2009, 17:50
(http://collativelearning.com/PICS%20FOR%20WEBSITE/stills%202/ae3515.jpg)
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Jeff7 on 13 Apr 2009, 18:29
May cause immaculate insemination.

Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Jimor on 13 Apr 2009, 18:30
Do not taunt GSX9500.

Your wife probably ignored this warning.

Well, you know how Doms are...
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: KickThatBathProf on 13 Apr 2009, 19:50

Oh man.  The GSX9500 is really HAL 9000 in dildo form.  We are all doomed.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Spluff on 13 Apr 2009, 19:53
Point away from face.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: frullic on 13 Apr 2009, 20:20
Caution: GSX9500 may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. GSX9500 contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use GSX9500 on concrete. Discontinue use of GSX9500 if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. If GSX9500 begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. GSX9500 may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, GSX9500 should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of GSX9500 of any and all liability. Ingredients of GSX9500 include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. GSX9500 has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt GSX9500. GSX9500 comes with a lifetime warranty.

You have won THE GAME
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Shmee on 13 Apr 2009, 20:26
Caution: GSX9500 may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. GSX9500 contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use GSX9500 on concrete. Discontinue use of GSX9500 if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. If GSX9500 begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. GSX9500 may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, GSX9500 should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of GSX9500 of any and all liability. Ingredients of GSX9500 include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. GSX9500 has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt GSX9500. GSX9500 comes with a lifetime warranty.

Happy Fun Ball?
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Kugai on 13 Apr 2009, 23:17

Oh man.  The GSX9500 is really HAL 9000 in dildo form.  We are all doomed.

I'm sorry KickThatBathProf, this conversation can serve no further purpose.


:D
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: akronnick on 13 Apr 2009, 23:45
Why don't you take a stress pill and we can talk about this.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: JD on 14 Apr 2009, 03:53
Do not overuse
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: ndperfesser on 14 Apr 2009, 09:06
Caution: GSX9500 may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds. GSX9500 contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not use GSX9500 on concrete. Discontinue use of GSX9500 if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. If GSX9500 begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head. GSX9500 may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, GSX9500 should be returned to its special container and kept under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of GSX9500 of any and all liability. Ingredients of GSX9500 include an unknown glowing green substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. GSX9500 has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt GSX9500. GSX9500 comes with a lifetime warranty.

Do not feed the GSX9500 after midnight
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: JacobSnickers on 14 Apr 2009, 12:33
It doesn't even need a warning label.

Let me put it this way, Mr. KickThatBathProf. The 9500 series is the most reliable vibrator ever made. No 9500 vibrator has ever made a mistake or distorted information. They are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Zingoleb on 14 Apr 2009, 12:47
Does this mean it cannot penetrate fools?

So many idiots trying to place machinery in their genitals but unable to. Sad.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Rocketman on 14 Apr 2009, 14:57
Do not use while plugged into wall.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: bicostp on 14 Apr 2009, 20:56
Do not look into the operational end of the GSX 9500.
Under no circumstances should you ever *static*
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: akronnick on 14 Apr 2009, 21:03
GSX-9500 has entered the base!
GSX-9500 has entere....*krrrrkrrkkrr*
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 14 Apr 2009, 22:52
Do not insert in ear canal.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: plethora on 15 Apr 2009, 04:30
The first time I saw that "Warning" on the box, I thought it said "wang". True story.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 15 Apr 2009, 17:22
"Caution: Wet Floor"
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Tybalt on 15 Apr 2009, 17:49
Caution:  Children Xing
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 15 Apr 2009, 23:36
Do not use this product while operating heavy machinery.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Shmee on 18 Apr 2009, 08:52
Do not feed the GSX9500 after midnight

What would one feed it?  :O
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Rocketman on 18 Apr 2009, 10:10
Do not feed the GSX9500 after midnight

What would one feed it?  :O

It feeds on virginity.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: DoubleJ on 18 Apr 2009, 13:48
"Caution: Wet Floor Inevitable"
FTFY
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: LTK on 18 Apr 2009, 15:52
Do not expose to direct sunlight, as the device may be prone to melting, and the neighbours might see it.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 18 Apr 2009, 16:09
Wear protective clothing when using this device.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: raoullefere on 18 Apr 2009, 17:34
If you happen to own a Cyber-Surrogate Male Companion (commonly known as a 'Robotic Boyfriend'), attach the GSX 9500 as an accessory at your own risk. Don't say we didn't warn you. Because we did. If you're reading this, Hannelore, yes, this means YOU. Love, Dad.
p.s. Ahhhh-haa-ha-ha- ha-ha!

Title: Re: warning?
Post by: JD on 18 Apr 2009, 21:39
So the bait and tackle are out of beta?
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 19 Apr 2009, 22:55
What if the warning said "For external use only"?
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: LTK on 21 Apr 2009, 14:35
"EPIC EQUIPMENT. PLEASE USE RESPONSIBLY."
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Kugai on 21 Apr 2009, 17:09
'Do not use in Zero Gravity locations'
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 21 Apr 2009, 18:44
"This product warps time and space" (http://quark.physics.uwo.ca/~harwood/humor14.html)
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Wagimawr on 22 Apr 2009, 20:14
Come with this if you want to live.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: akronnick on 22 Apr 2009, 22:19
two words:

Guh, Roan!!!
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: raoullefere on 22 Apr 2009, 22:41
I'm not sure 'Guh' is a word. I think it otomatopia automatopia a soundy thing.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: celticgeek on 22 Apr 2009, 22:43
As in:  Galinda, with a "guh."  Yes, Onomatopoeia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onomatopoeia)
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Is it cold in here? on 23 Apr 2009, 14:54
I thought of a great one but it's too creepy.

In its place I'll offer "harmful or fatal if swallowed".
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Zingoleb on 26 Apr 2009, 15:35
Post the creepy one.

POST THE FUCKING CREEPY ONE.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: JD on 26 Apr 2009, 15:49
Why the hell not? post it.
Title: Re: warning?
Post by: Kugai on 26 Apr 2009, 17:20
'May cause eyes to bleed'