THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: pwhodges on 02 May 2009, 00:43
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Let's just start by getting this clear - we are all going to die of swine flue. How do I know this? I don't, so it must be obvious.
(1) There are flue pandemics about twice a century; there hasn't been one for about forty years - so it must be due to happen now!
(2) My employer has sent me three emails in the last two days telling me how the institution I work for is preparing for the pandemic, and what we should do for ourselves. There is even a link on the homepage to their plans and advice page (http://www.ox.ac.uk/flu/). It seems we are in Amber 2 pandemic phase, so it must be true.
(3) Apparently 0.0000002% of humanity has caught swine flue, and some have died. Clearly our species is about to die out!
(4) Panic sells papers. QED.
Have fun.
(with apologies to anyone here who actually has it.)
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Oh shit not Amber 2 oh God no I love you Mum I'm sorry about all that stuff I did
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OH FUCK I SHOULD TOTALLY PANIC, BUT I'M NOT PANICKING...GUYS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME...DO I HAVE SWINE FLU?!?!?!
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http://doihaveswineflu.org/
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So apparently they've rechristened H1N1 as "Hamthrax" now
PANIX
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Wooo!
lets go looting!
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Oh shit not Amber 2 oh God no I love you Mum I'm sorry about all that stuff I did
I'm not.
So, how is the swine flu different than the bird flu? The progenitors of the former don't fly (unless I get a date)?
So far, the people that have died have fit the normal flu's profile, the 1918 influenza hit people that were strong, rather than old, young, or sick. We've mostly been seeing babies and elderly dead, and while I never thought I would say something like this, that's good news.
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I thought I had swine flu but it was actually tonsillitis.
Do pigs have tonsils?
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And they said I was crazy for buying that $10,000 level vi NBC suit.
Clearly swine flu has become like ebola, where on the off chance you get it, it causes you to hemorrhage from your pores and eyes and anus and doesn't act like the fucking flu.
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The Swine Flu is obviously just God's way of cleaning out the dirty heretics of the world while leaving the good folk like myself and Sister Peaks.
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The Swine Flu is obviously just God's way of cleaning out the dirty heretics homos of the world while leaving the good folk like myself and Sister Peaks.
fixed
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On the news last night a BBC woman was interviewing a man who had caught swine flu (THE FIRST PERSON TO CATCH IT FROM ANOTHER PERSON IN THE UK OMIGOD) and she sat there looking extremely serious and exteremely stupid in her industrial face mask. I can't help thinking she'd have been better off either ringing him up or, you know, eating an orange or two and washing her hands afterwards?
Swine Flu: only to be cured by the bizarre method of sawing holes into chicken's eggs.
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(http://www.gloriouscreative.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/20070702-keep_calm.jpg)
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now coming to a game console near you:
http://www.miniclip.com/games/stop-swine-flu/en/
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I think it is considered more panic-worthy because even if you got a flu shot this was not covered by the shot so you can still get it? Even though you can still get any mutations of the viruses the vaccine is for?
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The scary thing is that everyone who gets a cold is gonna be popping tamiflu and (IANABiologist) it'll end up getting resistant to it or whatever virii do.
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I am sick of hearing about this. I wish the media would get some real news.
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My understanding is that it's more contagious than regular flu. I think that what this means is that we're going to be fine. We live in nice well off countries that are pretty well prepared to handle the worst case scenario, which is half our respective populations coming down with it at the exact same time. This will never happen, unless Nodaisho happens to get that date.
This will stop being news worthy as soon people catch onto the fact that it is really only dangerous to developing nations, where it could wipe out a significant chunk of a large population in a much shorter time span.
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It's no more contagious than most other strains of H1N1, and considerably less virulent (at the moment, anyway; it does have the potential to mutate into something much more virulent, but this is no different to any other strain of Influenza A). As far as I can tell, the media are only overreacting to this because there is an animal name attached to it (and even then, swine flu is something of a misnomer).
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Interesting. This is a really good example of the media generating its own news. I look forward to the inevitable media analysis of the media reaction to this.
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http://doihaveswineflu.org/
I was so hoping this was going to be like http://hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com (http://hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com) where if you looked at the page source it was full of snarky goodness. Other than the keywords, I was left disappointed.
OH MY GOD, IS DISAPPOINTMENT A SYMPTOM OF...SWINE FLU?!?!?
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I think it is considered more panic-worthy because even if you got a flu shot this was not covered by the shot so you can still get it? Even though you can still get any mutations of the viruses the vaccine is for?
Flu shots don't even prevent the regular old flu; it just weakens it when you get it supposedly.
Then again, the one year I did get a flu shot I was sicker than any year previously. I now no longer get flu shots and am healthy again.
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I am sick of hearing about this. I wish the media would get some real news.
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I was so hoping this was going to be like http://hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com (http://hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com) where if you looked at the page source it was full of snarky goodness. Other than the keywords, I was left disappointed.
I wasn't, the "I know Derek" thing is a meme from some other forum I frequent.
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@^^^: Vaccines trigger an immune response so that your antibodies will respond to the disease fast and efficiently. You often don't experience any symptoms if you have gotten a vaccine. Which is the whole point of the vaccine. The flu virus has 8 or so RNA strands, and a pig infected with four types of flu (two types of swine flu, human flu, and bird flu) acted as a vector and allowed these viruses to share RNA forming this new strain that was recombinant in H1N1. We don't have the antibody response from our immune systems for this new strain of H1N1 making you more susceptible to infection, and resulting in a longer infection while your immune system recognizes and responds to the threat. That is the ONLY difference between this new flu and any other flu.
Not getting sick by not getting the shot just anecdotal, and not indicative of you being any better off fighting the flu than if you had continued to get shots. Some people get a milder form of the flu from the vaccine if they inherited little previous immunity or are immunosuppressed. If you are in your teens to 40 something and healthy you are probably okay skipping the flu shot if you want, but it is better than the alternative. And, for children, the elderly, or people with certain types of diseases it can be really important to keep up on your flu shot schedule.
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I'm a rookie swine fighter:
http://www.swinefighter.com/
Can anywone tell I'm meant to be studying?
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(http://i199.photobucket.com/albums/aa210/blushingsapphire/piglet.jpg?t=1241274479)
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Guys guys guys. Unless this starts turning people into zombies, there's nothing to worry about! Even then, I think just baout everyone on this forum will be prepared! I mean, we had a thread about it and everything!
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Creating pandemics is fun (http://www.crazymonkeygames.com/Pandemic-2.html)
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We should all go to Madagascar. I hear that place is pretty safe from stuff like this.
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i would go mexico because it is the last place that swine-flu would come looking for me.
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...
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I am pretty sure that 50% of the average rural Mexican's diet is accidental consumption on pig feces through incredibly contaminated water, Dollface.
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I just read the words "WHO fundraising event" and haven't managed to stop laughing yet.
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(http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/comics/00000263.png)
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Guys guys guys. Unless this starts turning people into zombies, there's nothing to worry about! Even then, I think just baout everyone on this forum will be prepared! I mean, we had a thread about it and everything!
Several threads actually.
I was kindof hoping this one would devolve into the thousandth one :D
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I find it kind of funny that people are comparing this flu to Spanish flu, the one that virtually wiped out most of Europe that was left after WW1?
Personally I can't help but think that almost an entire century later we have advanced enough to be able to cope with this, hells about 50 years ago we were still giving labotomies to children for being too "excuberent".
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At this point I'm not sure who's more annoying, the people who care about swine flu or the people who don't.
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well, see which side you are on first.
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Goddamn I wasted my lame swine flu joke in the blog thread.
It is kind of interesting in that it's one of those things where I've literally walk past groups of people on the street talking about it.
Also this is awesome: pimp my swine flu mask (http://guanabee.com/2009/04/pimp-my-swine-flu-mask)
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Also this is awesome: pimp my swine flu mask (http://guanabee.com/2009/04/pimp-my-swine-flu-mask)
Fixed
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Oops, thanks.
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Several threads actually.
I was kindof hoping this one would devolve into the thousandth one :D
Can we make this thread about the zombie invasion now?
I mean, why beat around the bush?
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I was discussing the chance of zombie invasion from swine flu with my biology lecturer earlier. We decided it would just end up with Mexican zombie pigs, which don't sound all that scary really.
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Well if the average pig can go through two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute, imagine what that means for the average zombie pig.
Don't be too glib about this, man.
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But I will be alright, because I live in a city. Living in a city = no pigs, unless you count the wind-up kind you get in toy shops :-)
Now they would be scary zombified.
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Also this is awesome: pimp my swine flu mask (http://guanabee.com/2009/04/pimp-my-swine-flu-mask)
Fixed
Are you allowed to actually fix something when you say "fixed"? It took me about 5 minutes to realize it wasn't a joke.
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Well if the average pig can go through two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute, imagine what that means for the average zombie pig.
Don't be too glib about this, man.
Pigs also have thick skulls. At least wild pigs do. Handguns won't do it for headshots, unless you use a magnum, +P+ 9mm, .357 sig, or 10mm auto.
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Woo! Something else for the president to worry over!
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Pigs also have thick skulls. At least wild pigs do. Handguns won't do it for headshots, unless you use a magnum, +P+ 9mm, .357 sig, or 10mm auto.
Which, according to Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide, means you have to turn to swords, which means you have to turn to katanas. Or maybe you could just stay the hell inside when you hear reports of Zombie Pigs running free through your city. Seriously, pigs cannot operate door handles.
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They can use their thick skulls and immunity to pain to butt through doors though!
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Pigs also have thick skulls. At least wild pigs do. Handguns won't do it for headshots, unless you use a magnum, +P+ 9mm, .357 sig, or 10mm auto.
Which, according to Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide, means you have to turn to swords, which means you have to turn to katanas.
Or just use a rifle, like you should be doing. 30 (or 40, without getting into drums) rounds beats 6, 15, or even 20 any day of the week. And the farther I get from a zombie pig, the better.
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I just realized I misread 'handguns' as just 'guns'. Whoops!
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Fuck you guys
I'm constantly terrified of being eaten by zombies and now I'm unloading rounds in my bacon so that it won't eat me before I eat it
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Zombie pigoons?
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ZOMBIE SHITE FLYING FROM THE SKIES
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Swine flu makes everything zombirific.
(http://img223.imageshack.us/img223/9182/zaomviewu.png)
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PANDEMIC! PANDEMIC RIGHT HERE! GOT THAT PANDEMIC! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9DznkHpEUIQ)
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Are you allowed to actually fix something when you say "fixed"? It took me about 5 minutes to realize it wasn't a joke.
I usually use "fixed that for you" when I joke. Mabye "fixed bad link" would've been better.
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Thats actually kind of a scary picture.
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I'll bet they're really planning the best way to chew on each others brains there.
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Pigs also have thick skulls. At least wild pigs do. Handguns won't do it for headshots, unless you use a magnum, +P+ 9mm, .357 sig, or 10mm auto.
I'm going to be buying a Glock 30, fucker fires a .45 APC. Think that'll do the trick?
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hells about 50 years ago we were still giving labotomies to children for being too "excuberent".
We still are. Only in pill form instead of brain chopping.
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Pigs also have thick skulls. At least wild pigs do. Handguns won't do it for headshots, unless you use a magnum, +P+ 9mm, .357 sig, or 10mm auto.
I'm going to be buying a Glock 30, fucker fires a .45 APC. Think that'll do the trick?
While firing an armored personnel carrier at someone would be effective, it seems ammo would be prohibitively heavy (you're looking for ACP, but the typo was funny). And apparently, it doesn't, some people in switzerland tested it out in order to pick defense pistols for going pig hunting. I'm not sure even the +P+ 9mm ammo does the job, but most of it is pretty much the same as 357 sig.
Don, at least the pills aren't permanent, and you can choose to go off them.
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And apparently, it doesn't, some people in switzerland tested it out in order to pick defense pistols for going pig hunting.
Come zombie pig apocalypse, the Swiss will be prepared.
Just like they are prepared for everything. ever
(Guys, I'm a little bit afraid of the eminent Swiss invasions)
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Would the Swiss still be neutral in a war they started?
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The swiss don't start conflicts, they finish them
Also pills are easy to stop taking, growing bits of your brain back... thats a bit harder.
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Lahti l-39, 600 Nitro Express revolver and XM-79 grenade launcher
overkill is the only kill i know.
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Oh good more jacking off about guns
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next stop, sexy ladies and fast cars.
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and then, switzerland.
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next stop, sexy ladies and fast cars
I've always preferred guns, sexy ladies, and motorcycles.
(http://a1.vox.com/6a00c2251dc877f21900d4143860393c7f-500pi)
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TBH, the leg gun would be a bit of a turn off for me.
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It's good to know that it serves more than just the purpose of transport and having a physically attractive shape, though.
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True but you know using it in your HANDS might make it more useful.
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If you ever need to be catapulted over a concrete fence and land in the middle of an army of demented zombie types you'll see how nice that gun for leg is.
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Zombie pigoons?
If this is a Margaret Atwood reference, my day just got a lot better.
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Also this is awesome: pimp my swine flu mask (http://guanabee.com/2009/04/pimp-my-swine-flu-mask)
I lived in Washington State when Mt. St Helens blew up and we had to wear those masks around for a couple of weeks until the ash was gone. We did the same thing. Somewhere there are some great pictures of me and my sister with some crazy shit my dad drew on our masks for us.
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Magriiiiiitte
Jens sometimes I wonder if we're not the same person
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Cinco de Mayo celebrations may be muted due to the swine flu. I just read something to that effect.
You mean...the Day of the Dead might not be as happy as it usually is because people are dying? What travesty.
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Cinco de Mayo =! Dia de los Muertos
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My Spanish teacher sucks ass. I'd go tell her this except I think I'd be arrested if I ever went near the school again.
Every fifth of May we had to learn about this goddamn holiday and colour in paper skulls to appease them.
Edit: Aww. I fail. I don't like being ignorant.
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Cinco de Mayo celebrations may be muted due to the swine flu. I just read something to that effect.
You mean...the Day of the Dead might not be as happy as it usually is because people are dying? What travesty.
:?
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I don't like being ignorant.
Look things up before talking about them then?
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Cinco de Mayo =! Dia de los Muertos
=! != !=
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≠ ?
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+ !
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8==D
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<dick><
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8==D~~O:?
Speaking of the zombie guide, solanum doesn't infect animals, it just kills them. It also says "be on the alert for suspicious explanations such as West Nile virus or mad cow disease. Either could be examples of a cover up".
or perhaps maybe "Swine Flu"?
Guys, I am maybe gonna be stocking up on canned food and crowbars, ok?
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OH SHIT (http://bouncewith.me.uk/europe/8027043.htm)
WE'RE FUCKED NOW
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Can we end this thread yet?
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Can we end this thread yet?
21 more posts about zombies, then 3 pages of jacking off about guns and we can end the thread.
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http://www.onemorelevel.com/game/pandemic_2
This thread is just getting started.
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When I went to visit my sister in Boston Harvard dental school was closed because of swine flu (she's a student there.) One of the other students had caught swine flu.
I was so close to dying
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That's a shame Joe Hocking.
Ally I told you to finish the god damn job!
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Creating pandemics is fun (http://www.crazymonkeygames.com/Pandemic-2.html)
*wag of that finger to Patrick*
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http://doihaveswineflu.org/
I was so hoping this was going to be like http://hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com (http://hasthelhcdestroyedtheearth.com) where if you looked at the page source it was full of snarky goodness. Other than the keywords, I was left disappointed.
OH MY GOD, IS DISAPPOINTMENT A SYMPTOM OF...SWINE FLU?!?!?
(I checked the source before I saw this post)
I found:
<!-- A site by David of davidocoulter.com, who is a terrible person. -->
and
<meta name="author" content="Pigsy McFlu" />
That was a good laugh.
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(http://www.japanhero.com/Graphics/heroprofileL/saiyuki/pigsy.jpg)
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Because of swine flu my friend won't be able to live in Japan over the summer.
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I just realized that no one made the obligatory topical humor comment.
They said there would be a black president when pigs fly. 100 days later; Swine Flu.
Hurr hurr i'm clever
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I believe someone did that 2 pages ago.
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I believe someone did that 2 pages ago.
I believe you may be thinking of the bad jokes thread, not the swine flu thread.
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Right, I was starting to wonder where the heck I saw it