THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => BAND => Topic started by: SirJuggles on 21 Jun 2009, 00:07
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Let's face it. We like to think of ourselves as open-minded folks. And for the most part many of us are. But there is some bad music out there. Whatever your taste may be, there is probably something else that you simply can not stand. And that's ok. But every once in a while we let that categorical loathing get in the way of open appreciation. So why not take another look at that trash, and say something nice about it?
Case in point: I have never been a smooth jazz fan. All my life my dad has played his stacks of jazz CD's, all our radios have been tuned to the smooth jazz station. And I just can't bear it. It's so slow, the rhythms so boring. The vocals on some of the more mainstream albums he listens to have at points made me wish to leap from speeding cars. But my exposure to my school's big-band jazz program has softened me up a little. Sure, I'd still rather sit through a Carlos Mencia marathon than listen to a whole CD. But true, quality jazz music takes skill. Horn and brass instruments can be used to make some really cool music. And perhaps more than anything else I've realized I do in fact enjoy good jazz drumming. So while it's not my favorite, smooth jazz music is far from terrible.
*note: I originally intended to focus on a single band, but I couldn't find a redeeming quality to the Jonas Brothers :-( On that note, can we please refrain from "Yeah but there's nothing good at all about THIS band". That's missing the point.
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Well...uh, the kids like it... I suppose.
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I'm Not a Fan, But the Kids Like It!
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Let's face it. We like to think of ourselves as open-minded folks.
We do? I for one think that label is stupid.
"If you open your mind too much, your brains will fall out"
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I don't really have any particular style of music that I hate, because I'll usually try anything once.
But I'd say that processed, manufactured pop music is something I usually don't like. I don't mean just anything that's catchy, or ALL music that's not jazz or classical or whatever. I mean like the Spice Girls.
Pop music is a precise, refined art now and the tiny musical nuances a lot of these songs have I always find interesting, because you can trace these tricks and cadences and such into more credible music.
Plus, often the production is dead on. One problem with a lot of non-pop albums is that the production can be all wrong for the music being made, but in pop music because it's only meant to put over the person singing, the instruments surronding it are all perfectly played. They do exactly what is required and nothing else - something which can be a problem when you have a band with egos and such.
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Although I'd argue that a singer's ego is just as bad. Nothing objectively separates the value of singing from the value of a non-vocal instrument.
I suppose I dislike electronic music a lot. The vocals seem to follow a pattern that I can't accurately describe, but it's all in the similar use of intervallic leaps. I find the harmonies generally uninteresting and the lack of any real emphasis on varied, changing non-vocal melodies (such as you might find in instrumental sections of rock and metal) make the music boring and stale to me. Indeed, I might even consider the musicians, dare I say, small-minded for not taking full advantage of the electronic nature of the music and doing things with the sound that cannot be done with instruments.
After all, what's the point of breaking the technical boundaries of instruments if your music is:
Dum dum dadadum dumdumdum "Voo-aaa-caal meeeeh-loh-deeeee!" Wee woo wee woo dadadum
On the other hand
A lot of the vocalists seem to have very powerful range. The rhythms themselves can be quite interesting and fun. The potential in electronic music is otherworldly. I respect their capacity to write music without actually touching an instrument - just conceptualising it in their head and then putting it into the machine.
Note: Not talking about techno. I'm talking about the likes of The Presets.
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Although I'd argue that a singer's ego is just as bad. Nothing objectively separates the value of singing from the value of a non-vocal instrument.
You have a point there but it was the production I Was talking about, not the vocal.
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Deerhoof make good music, aside from that woman's voice.
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Coldplay could get away with their first album sounding slightly original.
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I was actually going to post something similar. Parachutes is not half bad at all. There are actually some very nice songs on it. Sure, there are some duds mixed in but 'Trouble' and 'Sparks' and a couple others are certainly listenable.
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Nickelback's lyrics are kind of nice? Sometimes? I mean, they had a couple songs that weren't "I suck at life. I cannot go on."
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Dwayne Michael Carter, Jr, Lil Wayne makes catchy party music.
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Billy Corgan, you are a pretty funny guy. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryYcyt8FPlg)
Attack Attack!, you have given this forum more than a week's worth of ecstasy resulting from your shitty, but even more ridiculous music.
Jet, you sure picked a good Iggy Pop song to rip off.
Dexter Holland, you are a very educated man.
Pennywise, when I was 11 and played that ESPN snowboarding game on the original Playstation, I thought your song was the best when I played the half-pipe level.
Chad Kroeger, you are not my roommate.
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Alright seriously, we've all listened to Limp Bizkit at one point or another and moved our head to the beat.
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All of us?
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I guess playing death metal would be hard on the vocal chords, so...perseverance and endurance, I guess. And I suppose speed metal would make your arm tired, so same there.
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Singing along in your head counts too.
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I can appreciate how difficult it probably is to play Progressive Rock I suppose.
Justice's songs sound pretty OK the first time you hear them.
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I am pretty sure the crunky autotune stuff would be pretty sweet if I was pretty drunk and in a dancing mood and if there was an attractive lady within my personal area
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Yeah.
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Actually come to think of it the "attractive lady" thing was an afterthought but on further consideration it is most certainly crucial.
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The music of the Insane Clown Posse serves as a focal point for a community of people who otherwise may not have any real sense of it. Juggalos are as they are because of the variety of factors, and the existence of a network of people who relate to the same things in the Insane Clown Posse's music and do so very strongly simply gives people who might otherwise feel isolated from the world at large a sense of connection to their fellow person.
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Stone Temple Pilots...They're elegant bachelors.
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I guess Metalcore/Deathcore gives people who don't have the ability to think for themselves a refuge against having to TRY and think for themselves.
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Hooray condescension masked as tolerance!
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Rob Zombie: you do not live in my house.
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the same can also be said for the postal service.
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The music of the Insane Clown Posse serves as a focal point for a community of people who otherwise may not have any real sense of it. Juggalos are as they are because of the variety of factors, and the existence of a network of people who relate to the same things in the Insane Clown Posse's music and do so very strongly simply gives people who might otherwise feel isolated from the world at large a sense of connection to their fellow person.
Johnny, I say without sarcasm that I love this post and it is my favourite of yours.
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well, i'm sure death cab for cutie has gotten a lot of dudes laid by putting it on a mix cd with shitty hand-drawn artwork involving vines and sweaters so power to them
Hey!
Thanks for the idea.
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well, i'm sure death cab for cutie has gotten a lot of dudes laid by putting it on a mix cd with shitty hand-drawn artwork involving vines and sweaters so power to them
Yup.
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Alright seriously, we've all listened to Limp Bizkit at one point or another and moved our head to the beat.
Nah
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So why not take another look at that trash, and say something nice about it?
I only hate stuff that is beyond redemption.
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Led Zeppelin make good music, aside from that woman's voice.
FYP
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well, i'm sure death cab for cutie has gotten a lot of dudes laid by putting it on a mix cd with shitty hand-drawn artwork involving vines and sweaters so power to them
the only reason i'm defensive about this is because i'm a proponent of the shitty hand-drawn mix cd artwork
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I'm Not a Fan, But the Kids Like It!
+1 Awesome post.
Uhh... I hate BrokenCYDE... The guy managed to do a song with Lil' Kim, and Lil' Kim IS hot.
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The Cars..sure can palm mute.
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Is tribute to this thread (http://www.electrical.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=10481), she is so so great, no?
Si si.
Salute BRW!
Rob Zombie, you still don't live in my house.
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Oh hey, Greenday your musics sound pretty rockin'.
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Billy Joe, I understand you it's okay (we're pretty well fucked) at least you're not the Living End ...
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just please don't shit all over my god damn city with your cash cow.
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I still dont find any redeeming qualities to Grindcore.
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Slipknot...
um...
You have three times as many drummers as most people do, and that's a lot.
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(http://www.hiphoprx.com/content/uploads/2007/11/lil_kim.jpg)
WAS hot.
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dear brokenCYDE,
thank you for teaching me that if i ever want to get laid by over 5000 underage girls (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=85699815&albumId=849753) then all i have to do is start a shitty crunk band. that is useful to know.
also, thank you for choosing a pig as your mascot. perhaps by presenting swine in an anthropomorphic, almost human, manner you have gotten people to reconsider the way they view their animal friends. maybe the next time a scenester kid is about to eat delicious bacon, they will remember their friend the crunk pig and refrain from consuming his brethren's flesh. on the flip side, all of those who are disgusted and repelled by your music might find the taste of pork tainted as they now associate anything to do with pigs with your terrible screaming. as a vegetarian, i appreciate this.
ps, douche with the hot pink shirt... i'll admit it. you would be pretty cute if you weren't so gross.
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Well, shitty techno, we meet again - at least you're fun to mindlessly dance to for a few minutes.
Gangsta Rap - has given something for Tipper Gore to complain about, thus keeping her attention away from other aspects of our culture, such as violent videogames and the use of the n-word, the f-word (gay one), etc. on network TV. At noon. On a Sunday. (TBS: O Brother Where Art Thou?. Great movie. But really? No censorship?)
Uhhm... hip hop is bringing poetry to the masses? Set to a beat? I guess... piffle!
J-Bros. Thanks for proving that you don't have to be a young blonde tan girl to annoy the hell out of the music industry.
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Those Jonas Brothers sure are good at lip-syncing and pretending to play guitars. Keep it up, guys!
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dear jonas brothers,
thank you for attempting to teach 13 year olds chaste moral values. maybe dumb young girls who salivate over you silly little christian boys are then too distracted to consider women like lady gaga or heidi montag as role models for how to dress and behave. i don't know any of your songs but i am pretty sure you are not singing about how girls need to suck your dick to earn your love and attention! i appreciate this!
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I guess in the event of a misled teenager who will later see the light and contemplate the true progression of music and art in a mixed relationship between awesomeness and virgins in doveblue skirts, at age 12 he or she lives and breathes Papa Roach or The Fray will somehow be redeemed for his past actions in mosh pits where he acted like a ninja.
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Dear Norwegian black metal,
Your music sounds pretty okay when you don't record it on an answering machine in a public restroom.
Signed,
your secret admirer
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Led Zeppelin make good music.
FYP
FYP
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This Will Destroy You, you sure sound like a boring version of Mogwai really well.
Explosions in the Sky, you sure can tremolo-pick really fast.
Maps and Atlases, you sure know how to fingertap.
Billy Talent, you sure... no. I can't do this. Fuck you, you shitty fucking no-talent cocksuckers who had the gall to shit all over Waiting Room.
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Red Flag was fun.
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thank you for teaching me that if i ever want to get laid by over 5000 underage girls (http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=85699815&albumId=849753) then all i have to do is start a shitty crunk band. that is useful to know.
- DID YOU KNOW BROKENCYDE HAS A SEGMENT OF THEIR LIVE PERFORMANCE WHERE YOUNG GIRLS GET ONSTAGE AND PULL DOWN THEIR PANTS TO "SHOW YO COOCH, WIN A SMOOCH"
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Kenny Chesney, your concert in Fargo on Saturday brought a ton of people into my workplace, many of which were incredibly stupid and fun to laugh at. Including the lady that asked me what 75% off would be for an $8 item.
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Nickelback, your singer's voice sounds kind of like Scott Weiland's (Stone Temple Pilots) or the singer of Pearl Jam. And those bands are good bands.
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Chad Kroger, you look kinda like Jesus.
He's pretty cool.
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Korn...
...I like your seven string guitars.
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- DID YOU KNOW BROKENCYDE HAS A SEGMENT OF THEIR LIVE PERFORMANCE WHERE YOUNG GIRLS GET ONSTAGE AND PULL DOWN THEIR PANTS TO "SHOW YO COOCH, WIN A SMOOCH"
...
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Keith Richards I like your face
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Katy Perry, you made me remember that other, slightly better novelty hit about kissing a girl.
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When I hear Katy Perry's name, I think of Joe Perry, and then I listen to Aerosmith. Thank you for directing me to good music.
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...
Is that one of them koans?
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Katy Perry, your name reminds me of a cute girl one of my friends is trying to set me up with. That's pretty cool.
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Deathmole reminded me to get the mole on the back of my neck checked out. Thank you for helping me avoid skin cancer!
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Katy Perry, you are not Aerosmith.
FYP
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Deathmole reminded me to get the mole on the back of my neck checked out. Thank you for helping me avoid skin cancer!
I thought you liked Deathmøle...
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Aerosmith, you are old and hopefully will die soon.
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James Blunt: Sometimes when you sing really high it doesn't hurt my ears!
Nirvana: Okay well only Kurt Cobain! You liked the Vaselines and Daniel Johnston. I like those bands too!
Green Day: When your singer sings, he opens his mouth really wide and it's funny!
Evanescence: There is this lady who sings your famous songs every single week at karaoke. She seems to enjoy it a lot!
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Nickelback, two days after my twenty-first birthday I was in a shitty dive bar watching a fat lady sing an out-of-tune rendition of "Figure You Out". Thank you for your valued contribution to my twenty-first birthday.
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KISS:
You're amusing to watch live with the sound muted and the Nutcracker playing in your place.
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KISS, I liked Detroit Rock City (the movie). Way to merchandise yourselves in a way that didn't completely suck.
Matt & Kim, you have that song on the Bacardi Mojito commercial, and Mojitos are good drinks, if somewhat girly.
Charles Mingus, I always love your bass playing on other bandleaders' albums. Yours are just not my thing.
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Orgy: My ex-girlfriend really enjoys you and I suppose that you made her happy.
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Sufjan Stevens: You have a pretty cool first name.
Elliott Smith: err, you give junkies and yuppies something to bond over. Good work helping to bring the classes together.
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Kings of Leon: your song Sex on Fire makes my friend run away screaming for it to stop, which is pretty funny to watch.
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Dear Coldplay,
Of the absolutely obscene amount of money you are probably making right now, hopefully a sizable portion will be donated to charity. That would be pretty cool of you.
Dear Paramore,
"That's What You Get" is fun to sing on Rock Band, I guess.
Dear Chris Martin,
20 years from now, when Coldplay has broken up and they're only remembered as a thing of the past, albeit a popular thing, I hope you have your own television show on MTV or VH1 or one of those other channels that nobody with any self-respect chooses to watch. I would enjoy never watching that show.
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Coldplay have some cool album covers.
Phish lure all of the worthless hippies out of my hometown while they're on tour.
"Go Getter Greg" by Ludo has humorous lyrics.
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Midwest metal- Your fans have facial hair that makes mine look luxuriant and well-kept by comparison. However, to be fair a dead bear on fire could say the same thing.
Asher Roth- You proved that there is a God. Unfortunately, he hates us all.
Heavy Heavy Low Low- You guys are hilarious. Your fans don't even know that you're a parody in most cases. Congratulations!
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hey gangsta rappers, your music fucking sucks shit for the most part, but i'm usually able to put aside my disgust for a few seconds in awe of how fast some of you are able to spit rhymes.
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hey gangsta rappers, your music fucking sucks shit for the most part, but i'm usually able to put aside my disgust for a few seconds in awe of how fast some of you are able to spit rhymes.
Jesus Christ, boy. Next time I see you on MSN you are getting a fucking education.
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Silkworm, pirating your albums is cheaper and safer than renewing my Amitryptyline prescription.
Also you can drink whilst listening to Silkworm, which helps a lot.
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Deerhoof, you make the eternal, cold, dreamless sleep of death a marginally less terrifying concept owing to your presumed absence from it.
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Radiohead, one day, all that you have wrought will be nihil.
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Weedy dude from Coldplay, I would probably fuck you up the arse in a public toilet if I was wired on a cocktail of vicodin, ecstacy, ketamine and booze, wearing two durex extra strong and we both had paper bags on our heads.
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Eminem, I would only need like, three months of ninja training tops to be able to break into your house and twist your head off with my bare hands.
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I've always found the best way to discover something... or rediscover it... is seeing it live. I've gotten into a lot of good music by seeing them play live even when I didn't really want to go in the first place.
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Steven Tyler, there are actually vile, creeping things that scoot around the bottom of the Marianas trench eating whale shit that die the instant they see sunlight which have more repugnant lips than you.
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Khar, your particular brand of hate makes me so happy that I have taken it for my sig.
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But by the end of his quintuple-post he's just insulting people.
Go start a "let's make fun of music we don't like!" thread, because in case you missed this thread's title, you seem to be in the wrong place.
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Jonas Brothers, your album sales and related merchandise contribute greatly to the profit of the company with whom I have a part-time job. Thank you for helping me stay employed in this shite economy.
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Deerhoof make good music, aside from that woman's voice.
Came here to post this
Jonas Brothers, your album sales and related merchandise contribute greatly to the profit of the company with whom I have a part-time job. Thank you for helping me stay employed in this shite economy.
One of them has been seen playing a Jazzmaster.
That's the closest I'll ever come to saying anything nice about them.
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will.i.am, you never make advertisers sad by turning down their endorsement deals.
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But by the end of his quintuple-post he's just insulting people.
Go start a "let's make fun of music we don't like!" thread, because in case you missed this thread's title, you seem to be in the wrong place.
Your posts woud be excellent if not for the images and hypertext they contain.
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Big band covers of popular songs: Because of you, I now spend every elevator ride trying to figure out which hilarious bassoon-only version of a terrible pop song is blaring from overhead instead of fastidiously inspecting myself in the door's reflection.
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Attack Attack, you have brought the members of the QC forums much enjoyment over the last several days, and furthermore - if the rumors are true - you have a relatively good sense of humor about the whole ordeal. You named a song after a Nick, Jr. character who I laughed at many a summer day in my youth. Also, there's a period of about three seconds, right at the beginning of that song, if I don't look at you on the screen and forget for a few seconds what mangled mess of technorape is about to happen to my ears, that I am reminded of the intro to a Pig Destroyer song.
Have you listened to them, Attack Attack? I like Pig Destroyer quite a bit. I don't know that you would enjoy them, as they lack Autotune or Korg presets, or flat-iron straightened hair, but if you were to wear a PxDx shirt on stage, you would probably expose some of the scene kids to a really good grindy band that maybe they would enjoy, and that would be swell of you.
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But by the end of his quintuple-post he's just insulting people.
Go start a "let's make fun of music we don't like!" thread, because in case you missed this thread's title, you seem to be in the wrong place.
Your posts woud be excellent if not for the images and hypertext they contain.
Even without that they would still beat yours.
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Internet. Serious business.
Anyway,
Country- You love drinkin', I love drinkin'. We could be friends if you would shut your damned mouth every once in a while.
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Dear Rush,
No band whose music I hate has ever given me such joy. Neil Peart, without you and your terrible lyrics the Yo La Tengo Sugarcube video wouldn't be as enjoyable. Geddy Lee, you sound like a eunuch and for some reason think it's funny to have chicken on stage. This isn't really funny, but it's kinda funny that your fans think it's funny. People say you're a genuinely nice guy and it's fun to tell Rush fans that you sound like a woman, since I have found that this usually just encourages them to tell you surprisingly funny Geddy Lee jokes, and I can't really ever hate a band with inoffensive fans. And uh, third guy from Rush, if you were more memorable I would have felt compelled to to spend more time on this post than I would have liked, so in a way it's a plus that you're so bland. Oh, hey, google says you're named Alex! I'm named Alex!
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Aww, now i don't like YOU anymore, Alex.
totally.
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Stevie Ray Vaughan and Double Trouble at least had one talented member.
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Mick Jagger, you were *personally* responsible for David Bowie getting laid once.
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Neil Peart is also a very good drummer. And Geddy Lee is a surprisingly good at bass for doing that and singing at the same time. Also, they have a very good sense of time, considering all the weird timings they screw around with.
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MGMT, you...
Yeah, I can't do it.
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You named a song after a Nick, Jr. character who I laughed at many a summer day in my youth.
I forgot about that! Simmer down!
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John Cage... er... provided good raw material for student theses.
Chumbawumba... er... provided a catchy tune for our Rugby League's TV commercials.
Sex Pistols... er... er... No, sorry, that one's beyond me.
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Dance, trance, club, dub, house acts ...
... you have been in my life for quite a while now mostly because you get played so friggin' loud that it's hard to shut you out when the neighbours are having a party. Personally I find your 'music' soulless and pointless. But then I was never all that much into drugs. You, however, did give people who want to dance an endless stream of, well, bass, I guess, to dance to. And people who dance are generally inoffensive. At least while dancing. So, maybe, the world has become a safer place since more people have now more ... music ... to dance to.
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Disturbed, you uh...Hmm.
I'll get back to this later.