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Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: jhocking on 12 Nov 2009, 12:39
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Today I randomly remembered a short anecdote from years ago:
I happened to be standing by a door absent-mindedly saying "I am the gatekeeper" to everyone who walked through (I was checking IDs or something) and one person responded "I am the keymaster."
That was awesome. I am having trouble remembering why I didn't keep talking to her after that.
That was also a lame story, in that it goes nowhere and involves nobody of any significance. Do any of you have actually interesting stories about awesome geek mind-melds like that?
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I was at a festival waiting for a band to come on and I yelled "FRAK THIS" without even thinking about it. Some chick next to me yelled "SO SAY WE ALL."
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Once when I wore my Green Lantern t-shirt someone ran up to me and started saying the oath. I joined him and at the end we yelled out, "Beware my power... Green Lantern's light!" as loud as we could.
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People at the edge of a moshpit outstretch their arms with their hand in a fist to keep the people flailing from hitting the rest of the crowd. My friend said it looked like they were Green Lanterns and the guy was trying to fight his way out of the bubble. I could not stop laughing.
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Back when I worked at Michael's, I had a coworker who would always return from lunch and say, "Fear me, I have returned!" One day, she was working the customer service desk (note: she was helping someone) when I came back from lunch, so I said it to her. She asked why, to which I replied, "Supposedly I eat babies." (No response from the customer.) My coworker giggled and asked how I ate them. "Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew." My coworker laughed really hard, but I got the most disturbed look from the customer she was helping which made me laugh my butt off.
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We control the music for a large common area on campus at work, and I used to play The Beta Band or the Stiff Little Fingers a la High Fidelity and hope for a either someone to come up and say "This is good" or "Is this the new Green Day" but it never worked.
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I'd have tried "I Just Called to Say I Love You" to see if anyone accused you of playing sentimental, tacky crap.
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I think I heard my new favorite D&D pick up line last night.
"Well you must be magical, because look what you summoned!" *Looks down.
My friends are silly.
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I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say 90% of my conversations are nerdy banter. I work in a warehouse that stores video games(from atari and coleco to 360 and ps3), and my boyfriend programs for a genome center. Our conversations are the epitomy of nerdy. Once a coworker and I once quoted Highlander at each other. My boyfriend and I spent hours talking about Illusion Of Gaia last night. When we visited my best friend in Chicago, every conversation ended with us singing something from Dr Horrible.
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I was at a friend's house watching some movie, and this guy used a terrible D&D pickup line on me. (He noticed I had a d20 tattoooed on my back.) He came up to me, gave me the once over, winked, and said, "Will you be my dungeon-master?"
I swear to God I thought he was kidding. ...he wasn't.
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To add to the nerdy banter list:
My boyfriend and I are at the outdoor market here, there was a man behind us was singing and dancing and chattering. We were at a parking meter machine of sorts, for a paid parking lot. The people in front of us could not get the machine to work. They were complaining and complaining and the man behind us was teasing them. Finally, in a huff they left, and the machine worked fine for us. The man comented that my boyfriend must be a magic man. When we walked away my boyfriend commented that he was probably one of the Anansi boys, and I said he must have been Spider.
We are Gaiman nerds.
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I live in a flat with two other computer scientists.
I study computer science.
My life is episodes of nerdy banter after nerdy banter.
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Could you perhaps give us some examples?
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I'm going to assume it's about as incomprehensible to the everyman as xkcd would be to the baby boomer generation.
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old people know about passive agressive behaviour and creepy sexual anxieties
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While working in the deli, a coworker of mine commented on how a piece of meat was shaped like a Pac-Man ghost. i chuckled, and cut a piece of salami to rsemble Pac-Man, and therefore arranged "Deli Pac-Man". We laughed.
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old people know about passive agressive behaviour and creepy sexual anxieties
I mostly meant the obsession with raptors and the completely over-the-top math nerdery.
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I'm going to assume it's about as incomprehensible to the everyman as xkcd would be to the baby boomer generation.
Would it be as dumb, too?
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While working in the deli, a coworker of mine commented on how a piece of meat was shaped like a Pac-Man ghost. i chuckled, and cut a piece of salami to rsemble Pac-Man, and therefore arranged "Deli Pac-Man". We laughed.
I would buy a Pac-Man themed deli tray.
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Would it be as dumb, too?
Hey, man!
It probably would.
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Man we watched Clash of the Titans last night and there was like 20 minutes of making fun of the owl being R2D2.
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We are currently hosting another MTG party, and there has been countless hours of nerd talk. All very interesting.
However, someone invited this new guy who apparently hadn't really played magic before. And then he basically shit-talked about WOW for a portion of the night. He plays, but only because all his friend's "don't play sports anymore, don't want to go outside anymore, and are happy to just sit there and get fat." which I guess is what he is doing. Everyone here, excluding myself, plays WOW, happily. WTF dude. That's pretty rude of you. He pretty much fits into the jock stereotype so well, which is sad. I have never heard the word "gay" or "fag" so misused before. Now a story involving the phrase "jungle monkey" ugh.
But uh yeah. Sacklands! Stories of eating gas station food because of conventions and competitions! Building decks! Play testing! Interesting stories!
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I am ok with "nerdy banter" only when it doesn't consist solely of people making out of context quotes from supposedly obscure movies that basically every other person in the world has seen.
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I am ok with "nerdy banter" only when it doesn't consist solely of people making out of context quotes from supposedly obscure movies that basically every other person in the world has seen.
NI NI NI
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Friend: Oh man, I had an exam asking "If any animal could be a rock what animal would you pick and why".
Me: Obvious answer is Geodude, Onyx, Diglet and Dugtrio.
Friend: ...Graveler and Golem
Me: Shit, can't believe I forgot those
Friend: But dude, wanna know what I put down? Wookie. I put down Wookie and the fucked up thing is I got half a mark for it. I would've gotten a full mark if I had explained why.
Conversation happened last night at a 21st.
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I am ok with "nerdy banter" only when it doesn't consist solely of people making out of context quotes from supposedly obscure movies that basically every other person in the world has seen.
YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA
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I am ok with "nerdy banter" only when it doesn't consist solely of people making out of context quotes from supposedly obscure movies that basically every other person in the world has seen.
GO TO LUDICROUS SPEED
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I am ok with "nerdy banter" only when it doesn't consist solely of people making out of context quotes from supposedly obscure movies that basically every other person in the world has seen.
KHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN
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Friend: Oh man, I had an exam asking "If any animal could be a rock what animal would you pick and why".
wtf kind of exam question is that? I'll occasionally put joke questions on my tests, but then I mark it correct for basically any pen mark whatsoever in the answer area.
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I was wondering about that too but then I remembered that 25% of my third year electromagnetism mid-sem was a question about the magnetic properties of frogs. (they're diamagnetic (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-xw_fmB2KA))
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"I would turn mosquitos into rocks, because then I wouldn't have to worry about mosquito bites anymore."
That's the only kind of answer that is even remotely sensible, and that's the sort of discussion you would have in a kindergarten class, not on an exam.
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So I was at a Big John Bates show, kinda rockabilly with burlesque dancers. I was dancing like mad and ended up smacking into a boy who was also dancing like mad. I apologized for hitting him, and he said "It's okay, we're sine and cosine, we cancel each other out!" to which I replied "soh cah toa it goes". I don't know if sine and cosine actually cancel each other out, I was just impressed enough with myself for blurting something about sohcahtoa.
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They don't, unless you watch any number of stupid sci-fi shows where "out-of-phase" means something really important.
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If you take the sine of an angle, and then the cosine, you actually go back in time so that neither happened. It's pretty awesome!
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The saddest part about this is that I was actually better at trigonometry than I was with anything else mathy. I haven't done anything mathy since 2004!
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They don't, unless you watch any number of stupid sci-fi shows where "out-of-phase" means something really important.
If two waves arrive out of phase, they could form a node and hence cancel each other out. Serious business.
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If two waves arrive exactly pi out-of-phase, with the exact same amplitude, then they will cancel each other at that exact point at that exact time. Sin and cosine, however, are exactly pi/2 out-of-phase, and therefore do not cancel each other all the time. I know this crap way too well, because I deal with waves for a living.
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cos(sin(x)) =! x
There's specially defined inverse functions for that.
But they're not really functions, just over a specific domain.
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There is rarely an instance when my roommate and I are cooking that the phrase "Let the spices flow!" does not get yelled.
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One of my friends knew people who made cinnamon beer. I bet you can guess what they called it.
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man you guys, the point wasn't that the boy was wrong, it was my punnnnnnnnnnnn. though i blame the pun on my old radio friend's dj name, which was DJ Sohcahtoa. He was called "the trigonometric tricksta". he is an engineer and the weirdest person i have ever met (http://themountainfold.com/?page_id=2).
also how important is it that i watch dune? i feel like i am always missing out
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I haven't watched Dune. I want to, but more because it's David Lynch than it's Dune.
Also, I was aware that it was a pun, but then I responded to this:
I don't know if sine and cosine actually cancel each other out
Hell, my friends and I misuse math all the time to make jokes. Fourier transforms are big fodder for us, because they are pretty much used all the time in optics stuff, and the jokes are never mathematically sound. Though, my favorite conversation happened via text:
Person 1: What's your favorite semiconductor?
Person 2: InUrAss
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also how important is it that i read dune? i feel like i am always missing out
fix'd
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I figured that she was wondering about seeing it, because not reading it is unthinkable.
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I haven't done either!! Getting a copy of a movie or miniseries is easy, but finding the book seems more difficult. Though I have read every wikipedia article once in an effort to understand.
I take it that it is pretty important. ok!
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Read it. Then watch the miniseries. The Lynch film version is utterly skippable.
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I hope the book is as good as everyone says it is, because the miniseries is pretty blah.
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It's a pretty good book. It's as dated as most books of a similar vintage are.
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Oh hey, page break. Here's an ocelot.
(http://www.bigcatrescue.org/images/000BigCatPhotos/ocelots/ocelotsAmazingGrace.jpg)
YOU'RE GOING TO ACCEPT IT AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT.
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I can accept it, but I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT!
Also, I was just thinking about it while taking a shower, and I was beaten to the punch, so I'll agree with this:
It's a pretty good book. It's as dated as most books of a similar vintage are.
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I did not like reading Dune or anything else in the Dune series, I tried, it bored me terribly despite a couple of interesting premises.
I should maybe watch it though sometime.
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I like it! It's a kitty!
(http://thatgirlwithablog.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/ocelot1.jpg)
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(http://www.worldzootoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/zooocelot.jpg)
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Hell, my friends and I misuse math all the time to make jokes.
There's a running joke amongst my friends that Laplace transforms make any problem simpler. Any problem at all, from differential equations to girl troubles to being on fire.
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I don't know about you, but any time I have to use the residue theorem to solve a problem, that shit is not simpler. Well, it still might be simpler than girl trouble.
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Dune is a motherfucking awesome book.
In my senior year of High School I took a course on Science Fiction literature, which was definitely one of the best courses I had ever taken in any institution of learning. At the end of every semester of the course they have the Dune Trial, which is essentially a week of a role-playing court-case where Paul Atredies is put on trial for being bad to society. For those who have read the book, you will no doubt be familiar with the Baron Vladimir Harkonnen, who tends to enjoy the pleasures of young slaveboys when he's not being a cruel sadistic fuck towards other people, like the Atredies family or the Fremen or whatever.
The year before I took the course, my friend was taking on the role of the Baron.
I was his slaveboy.
Basically this entailed me in a pair of tighty-whities and a bow tie and a rope around my neck, while the Baron did terrible things to me like pour water on me (which on a Desert planet like Arrakis basically means you are going out of your way to be an utter cunt) or make me motherbird-feed him candy or rubbing Taco Bell mild sauce on my chest. I got kicked out on Day 3, when the Baron got into a scuffle with a Fremen warrior, which in turn got the Sardukar warrior involved, et al. This somehow ended with the Baron licking mild sauce off of my nipple. The teacher basically put a kibosh on it and made the bailiff tug me out of the room by my rope.
When I took the course, the guy playing the Baron took it to the ultimate level of grossness. Baiscally he had two slaveboys, and once he was about to pour Campbell's clam chowder on them before the teacher put the kibosh on that and made the slaveboys leave the room. But that wasn't the ultimate act of awfulness that caused him to end the time-honoured tradition of the slaveboy. The last day before the verdict was to be handed out he hid a zip-loc bag full of lemonade (taped up with duct tape) near his crotch, with his slaveboys nearby. I think y'all can guess where this is headed...
Long story short, the slaveboys were kicked out for good, and so it came to pass that the teacher said "no more sexual slaveboys" at least for a long time.
(Also before the trials began a bunch of the students decided to fill the classroom full of sand and cinammon to simulate the environment of Dune. It smelled like a fucking cinammon cookie for weeks after the trial, up to my graduation.)