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Fun Stuff => BAND => Topic started by: friend on 29 Mar 2010, 18:17

Title: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: friend on 29 Mar 2010, 18:17
I just heard on the news that ricky martin came out and is now a homosexual.  For those not previous aware, Ricky Martin is the sing sensation of such song as Copa de la Vida y Livin' la Vida loca.  He was child of Jose de San Martin and is the namesake of Marten :)
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: Zingoleb on 29 Mar 2010, 18:27
I becames a straight once
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 29 Mar 2010, 18:29
Were you driving while writing this? Because I can't condone texting and driving, probably why you had to brake from hitting that other car.


Also, not that I care, but didn't he basically let that fact slip during some interview a long time back when he still had a viable career?
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: Inlander on 29 Mar 2010, 18:41
Why is this thread in the Movies, TV Shows, and Books sub-forum? Has Mr. Martin ever written a book? Has he ever appeared in a movie, or starred in a TV show?

I'd move this thread to the Music sub-forum but frankly I'd fear for its safety if I did so.

Also I don't understand what we're supposed to do in this thread. Make fun of Ricky Martin? Make fun of gay people? Make fun of people who are in the closet?
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 29 Mar 2010, 18:45
Can we make fun of the OP?
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: JD on 29 Mar 2010, 18:55
This guy sent me a very odd pm.
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: friend on 29 Mar 2010, 18:56
It is a celebreation of him
Please dont make fun of gay persons in this thread, i am a supporter of gay homosexual bisexual transgender committee

feel free to make fun of me, just dont make fun of others who matter

This guy sent me a very odd pm.

ya its a really funny picture i LOL when horse keeps eating the air EDIT:  WHY DID YOU CHANGE YOUR PICTURE FROM FUNNY HORSE TO A ANGRY MAN????????
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: Zingoleb on 29 Mar 2010, 19:15
would you be my friend friend

I'll be your friend friend

lets be friends friend

Edit: Wait there's a 'gay homosexual' committee?
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: Boro_Bandito on 29 Mar 2010, 19:21
Friend is either a troll, a very young person, or an elderly woman who has found the internet at last.
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: Zingoleb on 29 Mar 2010, 19:27
penelope is abusive woman, i want to punch her in the liver

I'm guessing elderly woman because this sounds suspiciously like my grandmother
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: yellowfoliage on 29 Mar 2010, 20:27
Not only is there a Gay Homosexual Committe, they denied my application again. Guess I'll have to be straight for another year. Damn red tape.
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: David_Dovey on 29 Mar 2010, 20:31
You guys may know it as the "Homosexual Agenda". They're the guys who want to kill yr grandparents so they can be used as fuel to burn piles of Bibles, the fumes of which will be used to lull children into a comatose state from which it will be easier to brainwash them with lies about evolution and climate change.
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: Darkbluerabbit on 29 Mar 2010, 21:31
My guess is that English isn't Friend's first language.  But that's not really important.  My only problem is the phrase "becomes a gay" because it doesn't work that way, but it's hard to tell with new people whether it's sarcasm so I won't bother with it too much.

I'm generally glad when someone in the media decides to come out.  Ricky opted to do it on his own website rather than on a UsWeekly or whatever, which shows some class too.  Every person who comes out of the closet increases the visibility of LGBT people, which almost always helps decrease homophobia.  The more people are publicly gay, the harder it is for bigots to insist that the LGBT rights movement is some lunatic fringe "gay mafia."  The people who say things like what Dovey posted (and oh, they are out there) might be too far gone, but there is hope for the folks who are more moderate.

I'm not really a fan of his, I couldn't name a song that isn't Living La Vida Loca.  However, my grandma thought he was the bee's knees back in the day, and so did a whole lot of people.  If Ricky's coming out helps change even a few of those people's minds in favor of LGBT rights, even a little bit, then that is a step in the right direction.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Johnny C on 30 Mar 2010, 01:01
Maybe a funnier thread title would have been something like "Who Gives A Shit About Ricky Martin In 2010"
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: BeoPuppy on 30 Mar 2010, 01:30
I'm amazed that there was actually ever any doubt about mr. Martin's gay-ness.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: KharBevNor on 30 Mar 2010, 02:41
There's still people who claim Liberace wasn't gay.
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: Nodaisho on 30 Mar 2010, 03:32
Not only is there a Gay Homosexual Committe, they denied my application again. Guess I'll have to be straight for another year. Damn red tape.
No, you just have to be an unhappy homosexual until they approve it. Crack a smile, they crack your head in their miata's door.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: sean on 30 Mar 2010, 06:38
also most importantly i'm pretty sure you have to be licensed to stick it in somebody's pooper.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Theriandros on 30 Mar 2010, 08:31
This is as much of a surprise as Liberace.

Now, Gaahl, on the other hand, that was pretty surprising.
Title: Re: BRAKING: Ricky martin becomes a gay
Post by: Sox on 30 Mar 2010, 09:51
Make fun of people who are in the closet?

Seven o’clock in the morning
And the rays from the sun wakes me
I’m stretchin’ and yawnin’
In a bed that don’t belong to me
And a voice yells, “Good morning, darlin”, from the bathroom
Then he comes out and kisses me
And to my surprise, he ain’t you

Now I’ve got this dumb look on my face
Like, what have I done?
How could I be so stupid to be have laid here til the morning sun?
Must have Lost the track of time
Oh, what was on my mind?
From the club, went to his home
Didn’t plan to stay that long

Here I am, quickly tryin’ to put on my clothes
Searching for my car keys
Tryin’ to get on up out the door
Then he streched his hands in front of it
Said, “You can’t go this way”
Looked at him, like he was crazy
Said, “Ricky Martin move out my way”
Said, “I got a wife at home”
He said, “Please don’t go out there”
“Ricky Martin, I’ve got to get home”

He said...
...
...his boyfriend was comin’ up the stairs!

“Shh, shh, quiet
Hurry up and get in the closet”
He said, “Don’t you make a sound
Or some shit is going down”
I said, “Why don’t I just go out the window?”
“Yes, except for one thing, we on the 5th floor!”
“Shit think, shit think, shit quick, put me in the closet”
And now I’m in this darkest closet, tryin’ to figure out
Just how I’m gonna get my crazy ass up out this house

Then he walks in and yells, “I’m home”
He says, “Honey, I’m in the room!”
He walks in there with a smile on his face
Sayin’, “Honey, I’ve been missin’ you”
He hops all over him
And says, “I’ve cooked and ran your bath water”
I’m tellin’ you now, this dude's so good that he deserves an emmy.

Throws him in the bed
And start to snatchin’ his clothes off,
I’m in the closet, like man, what the fuck is going on?
You’re not gonna believe it
But things get deeper as the story goes on
Next thing you know, a call comes through on my cell phone
I tried my best to quickly put it on vibrate
But from the way he act, I could tell it was too late
He hopped up and said, “There’s a mystery going on
And I’m gonna solve it.”
And I’m like,
“God please,
don’t let this man open this closet.”

He walks in the bathroom
And looks behind the door
He says, “Baby, come back to bed!”
He says, “Bitch say no more!”
He pulls back the shower curtain
While he’s biting his nails
Then he walks back to the room
Right now, I’m sweating like hell
Checks under the bed
Then under the dresser
He looks at the closet...
...I pull out my Baretta
He walks up to the closet...
...He goes up to the closet
...Now he’s at the closet
Damn he’s opening the closet.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Sox on 30 Mar 2010, 10:03
(CHAPTER 2)

Well...
Now he’s staring at me like
As if he was starin in a mirror
Dude yells 'honey let me explain!
He says 'you don’t have to go no further,
I can clearly see what’s goin on
Behind my back, in my bed, in my home'
Then I said 'Wait a minute now hold on!'
I said 'Mister we can work this out!'
Ricky Martin said 'honey don’t lose control.'
I tried to get him to calm down,
He said 'hoe I should’ve known,
That you would go and do some bogus shit up in my house
But the Christian in me gave you the benefit of the doubt.'
I said 'we need to resolve this.'
Then he stepped to me, I’m like, 'whoa,
There’s a reason I’m in this closet.'
He says, 'yeah what are you talkin close?'
'I met this dude at the Pagis club
And he told me he was totally straight and single.'
Then he said 'man please,
I’d kill you if you didn’t have that gun in ya hand.'
And then I said 'but yo Ricky Martin chose me.'
He said 'don’t give me that mack shit please.'
His phone goes off and then things get a little more interesting
He steps a little closer
I point my gun and says 'I’m not the one you after!'
He says 'son I bet you didn’t know my man,
Did he tell you that I was a pastor?'
I said well good 'that’s betta right,
Why can’t we handle this Christian- like?'
And I started to put the gun down,
Til I saw his face still had a frown.
Ricky Martin started cryin, sayin 'baby I’m sorry!'
Then he said 'baby not as sorry as you’re gonna be.'

I started inchin out,
He says 'no I want you to see this.'
Said 'I gotta get out this house.'
He said 'not til I reveal my secret.'
I’m like 'what is goin on inside his head?'
Then he takes his phone and calls somebody up and says
'Hello, Baby, turn the car around,
Listen I just need for you to get right back here now.' (CLICK)
He looks at me and 'says well since we’re all comin out the closet,
I’m not about to be the only one that’s broken hearted.'
And Ricky Martin said 'what do you mean?'
And he said 'just wait and see.'
I said 'somebody betta talk to me.'
And then his phone rings
He picks up and somebody says 'sweetheart I’m downstairs.'
And he’s like I’ll buzz you up,
I’m on the fifth floor, hurry take the stairs.'
And I’m like 'who is this mystery lady that you’re talking to?'
He says 'in time you both will know the shockin truth.
Baby this is something I been wanting to get off my chest for a long, long time.'
Then I said..
NIGGA, I'ma shoot you BOTH if you don’t say what’s on ya mind!!!'
He said 'wait I hear somebody comin up the stairs.'

And I’m lookin at the door..
...He says 'I think you betta sit down in the chair...'
I says 'I’m gonna count to four!!!!'
...1, he says 'mister wait.'
...2, Ricky Martin says 'please don’t shoot!'
...3, he says 'don’t shoot me.'
...4, Ricky Martin screams...

Then a knock on the door, the guns in my hands...
...He opens the door, I can't believe...
...it's a chick.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Melodic on 30 Mar 2010, 10:10
fuck fuck fucking fuuuuuuuck this thing
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: KharBevNor on 30 Mar 2010, 10:54
Now, Gaahl, on the other hand, that was pretty surprising.

I dunno. I reckon there's probably quite a few people in extreme metal in the closet. And metal in general. Like Udo Dirkschneider. I mean, come on.

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a0/Udo_Dirkschneider.jpg)

You might say 'oh, but like, half of that is just because he's German'. This is true, but then you must realise Udo is the lyricist behind 'Balls to the Wall' and 'London Leatherboys'.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Theriandros on 30 Mar 2010, 11:37
Cue discussion of the closeted homosexuality of a genre of music that sometimes involves large amounts of leather.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: friend on 30 Mar 2010, 11:48
is there a greater percentage of homosexual among artistics than average populace?

it seems most gay people i have come to know have much creativity :)
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Alex C on 30 Mar 2010, 12:17
I think it should be duly noted that as flamboyant as Liberace was, he was most famous in the 50s. That was an era where even country artists were practically contractually obligated to show up to at least one television performance with a gaudy ass costumes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1zw5pZ5q5E&feature=related), or in the case of Hawkshaw Hawkins, pastel suits. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24skJ7zXz4U) Besides, ol' Liberace successfully sued for libel on at least one occasion, so when you add that into the simple fact that some things were just not talked about, it's not necessarily -that- crazy that some people might not get the memo. Well, okay, dumb people. Because he was obviously pretty gay.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Theriandros on 30 Mar 2010, 13:13
We should make a list of all the gays who music.

And then we'll have Captain America start rounding them up.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Tom on 30 Mar 2010, 13:31
<-----HEEYYYY-AYYYYY
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Tom on 30 Mar 2010, 13:35
(http://www.dudetubeonline.com/2007/07/04/cap0704a.jpg)
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Zingoleb on 30 Mar 2010, 13:46
We should make a list of all the gays who music.

And then we'll have Captain America start rounding them up.

For a harem, apparently.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: friend on 30 Mar 2010, 18:11
count me in :)
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: David_Dovey on 30 Mar 2010, 21:27
No Rahm Emmanuel you must have plausible deniability

I dunno. I reckon there's probably quite a few people in extreme metal in the closet. And metal in general. Like Udo Dirkschneider. I mean, come on..

Halford has repeated numerous times in interviews that the amount of prominent metal musicians in the closet would shock the hell out of most fans.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: yellowfoliage on 30 Mar 2010, 23:18
You know what, Dovey? I was just today talking to a friend who when I mentioned Rahm Emmanuel's name he was all, "Who's that?" An American friend here in America. And if I'm not mistaken, you live in Perth and you recognized his face from a 100x100 avatar gif. This country fucking depresses me sometimes.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Inlander on 30 Mar 2010, 23:24
I regret that I did not recognise that that was Rahm Emmanuel, but in my defence I think it's because in that photo he's smiling, which I think would put most people of the scent.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: David_Dovey on 30 Mar 2010, 23:26
It's because everything I know about current affairs is from The Daily Show/Colbert Report.

Also because U.S. politics is way more interesting/horrifying than Australian politics. Oh sure, we have crazy here but nowhere near the bounty of utter lunacy that America manages to spring up every minute of every day.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: SWOON! at My Gravitas on 31 Mar 2010, 04:01
You're welcome, everybody.  You're welcome for making your countries seem saner by comparison.

Believe me, it is hard work being this hostile and irrational all the time.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: dancarter on 31 Mar 2010, 05:11
Wow.  Words cannot express my indifference.

Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Zingoleb on 31 Mar 2010, 06:04
No Rahm Emmanuel you must have plausible deniability


That's it! I've been staring at his picture and going, "Who the fuck is that?"
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: 20 jazz funk greats on 31 Mar 2010, 06:11
There's still people who claim Liberace wasn't gay.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: 20 jazz funk greats on 31 Mar 2010, 06:13
mehhhh i am not one of them. unspoken russian laws say "no ring no bring"
i don't even want the rings.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Inlander on 31 Mar 2010, 06:21
I don't care if he's gay or straight or Rickysexual, just as long as he's not one of them Puerto Ricans I keep hearing about. All with their special flags and their marches and their livin' their lifestyles all up in my face.

I've never met a Puerto Rican but I know it's not natural. Did you know that if two Puerto Ricans raise a child that child will grow up to be Puerto Rican too? It's true, I've seen the statistics!
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Zingoleb on 31 Mar 2010, 06:24
Did you know if ONE Puerto Rican does it it happens, too?

I lost my brother that way. I'll always miss you, Candido Candelaria.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: yellowfoliage on 31 Mar 2010, 06:30
Just like the damn Jews.

Also, to the Aussies: you have no idea how bizarre it is to have one-on-one conversations with Tea Partiers. And here in Colorado they are everywhere.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Zingoleb on 31 Mar 2010, 06:33
Argh!

Okay, so there's pretty only one coffeeshop in this county - Elsewhere. It's run by this Polish woman who laughs bitterly at the idea of global warming and holds Tea Party conventions inside of it. One guy keeps showing up who looks like Ian Anderson and keeps advocating getting together guns and going to war with the Democrats

It

drives

me

fucking

crazy.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Inlander on 31 Mar 2010, 06:49
There was quite an interesting article by Jonathan Raban in the most recent New York Review of Books about the recent Tea Party conference (the one that Sarah Palin spoke at). According to Raban, the Tea Party is pretty much split in two: the crazy old white people, and the old white people who wish their new political organisation wasn't full of crazies because they're fairly pragmatic and realise that only crazies are going to vote for other crazies.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: David_Dovey on 31 Mar 2010, 06:55
Yeah I can't imagine how infuriating it is to be a rational, sensible conservative in the U.S. at the moment.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Theriandros on 31 Mar 2010, 09:48
... And then Obama comes out and says that the Tea Party was founded by birthers.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: KharBevNor on 31 Mar 2010, 10:23
I'm sorry but, if you were sane, why would you belong to the Tea Party movement?
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Emaline on 31 Mar 2010, 14:21
There's a Tea Party protest coming up(as in Tea Party-ers protesting), and my boyfriend and I were thinking of getting some people together to go counter protest.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Nodaisho on 31 Mar 2010, 14:44
I'm sorry but, if you were sane, why would you belong to the Tea Party movement?
Because you are strongly opposed to the Obama administration and think that wrapping yourself in historical political references is romantic rather than annoying. I know some guys that are part of it that seem sane. I disagree with them, but if everyone I disagreed with was insane, this entire world would need to be an asylum.

Jeans, they don't call themselves teabaggers, I never heard that used before I heard it here.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Inlander on 31 Mar 2010, 16:07
Raban's article is here: http://www.nybooks.com/articles/23723 (http://www.nybooks.com/articles/23723). It's not too long, and it's quite an interesting read.

These three paragraphs will give you the gist:

Quote
The drollery vanished as he climbed aboard his old anti-immigration hobby horse. "The revolution has come. It was led by the cult of multiculturalism, aided by leftist liberals all over, who don't have the same ideas about America as we do." Since George H.W. Bush's administration, RINOs (Republicans In Name Only) had been conspiring with Democrats to boil us like frogs in the "cauldron of the nanny state." "Then something really odd happened," Tancredo said, "mostly because, I think, we do not have a civics literacy test before people can vote in this country. People who could not spell the word 'vote,' or say it in English, put a committed socialist ideologue in the White House. His name is Barack Hussein Obama."

Though a ripple of cheers and applause spread through the ballroom, I was taking my cue from a middle-aged couple sitting immediately in front of me. When they clapped, I clapped. When they rose to their feet, I did too. Now they exchanged a hard-to-read glance and their hands stayed in their laps.

My guess was that few in the room were offended by the association of the "literacy test" with the Jim Crow laws, though some may have been. But everyone I'd met so far was in a position to know immigrants, legal and otherwise; they employed them in their houses and businesses, to look after their children and work on their yards. The idea that Maria and Luis, or Tatyana and Dmitri, had somehow subverted the political system to bring about Obama's election struck them as insulting and absurd.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Dimmukane on 31 Mar 2010, 16:31
man how do we go from talking about ricky martins' tight leather pants to the fucking teabaggers

how are these things connected

someone do one of those six degrees things so i can understand

dammit edward
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Zingoleb on 31 Mar 2010, 17:46
man how do we go from talking about ricky martins' tight leather pants to the fucking teabaggers

how are these things connected

someone do one of those six degrees things so i can understand

dammit edward

I'm sorry!

Though to be fair connecting 'Ricky Martin' and 'teabagging' probably isn't much of a stretch
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Theriandros on 01 Apr 2010, 08:39
Argh!

Okay, so there's pretty only one coffeeshop in this county - Elsewhere. It's run by this Polish woman who laughs bitterly at the idea of global warming and holds Tea Party conventions inside of it. One guy keeps showing up who looks like Ian Anderson and keeps advocating getting together guns and going to war with the Democrats

It

drives

me

fucking

crazy.


Ah, so heeeere's where the thread went off-topic.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: look out! Ninjas! on 02 Apr 2010, 01:30
man how do we go from talking about ricky martins' tight leather pants to the fucking teabaggers

how are these things connected

someone do one of those six degrees things so i can understand

dammit edward

I'm sorry!

Though to be fair connecting 'Ricky Martin' and 'teabagging' probably isn't much of a stretch

Not now that we know, anyway.

Before, I was completely and utterly sure he was straight. I also ate pop-tarts and drank Dr Pepper.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: Thrillho on 02 Apr 2010, 09:07
Ricky Martin has also admitted publicly that he enjoys giving golden showers.

Basically, Ricky Martin likes to piss on dudes.

It's like boarding school all over again.
Title: Re: Ricky Martin Comes Out As Heterosexual - PSYCHE
Post by: David_Dovey on 02 Apr 2010, 18:22
Source please