THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Hairy Joe Bob on 19 Nov 2010, 19:12
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I watched Zombieland recently and Woody Harrelson's character is mad for twinkies. Now...I live in Britain where the idea of self-inflicted heart disease revolved around fired meats rather than cream (although I hear you people, you sick, sick people, sometimes fry twinkies as well).
What the hell is a twinkie and why the hell are they so popular in America? Why have twinkies become such an important part of your culture and what the hell is wrong with you?
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They are yellow. They are cream filled. They are indestructible. If they were cognizant they would rule the world.
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Man I can't even remember my last twinkie.
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i ate a twinkie once, it was alright. i don't think about twinkies very often or feel like i've missed much the other hundred thousand days of my life i have made it thus far without eating twinkies.
one time while taking care of my aunt's dog while she was on vacation i had brought with me a box of twinkies inside my bag and when i wasn't looking he sniffed them out and managed to force his entire head inside the bag and eat the entire fucking box. literally - the box. plastic, paper, twinkies, everything. i was immensely terrified for the 24 hours after that he would die either from all the sugar or from developing some sort of blockage in his guts from all the plastic but as luck has it the stupid idiot dog was completely fine.
keep your dog away from twinkies.
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I can't decide which is grosser, twinkies or hershey's.
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No, give all the twinkies to all the dogs so no human ever has to eat them ever again.
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When I saw this thread I immediately thought it was about petite, effeminate homosexual men. That is the only kind of twinkie we have in Australia.
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why isn't anyone talking about what this thread should obviously about: the superior older brother of the twinkie, the zinger (http://www.americansweets.co.uk/ekmps/shops/statesidecandy/images/hostess-iced-vanilla-zingers-cakes-box-of-12-cakes-dated-13.05.10-9630-p.jpg)
if you can't tell from the picture, or if it doesn't work or something, a zinger is just a twinkie but with frosting on top. yes they are delicious and terrifying. i think i might actually go buy some right now. thanks alot
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don't call them twinkies! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAxVNQTqU1s)
(i just wanted an excuse to post that; mn has the best sports songs)
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man you know what i love? fucking, fresh produce.
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seriously though all these twinkies and hot dogs and noodles and fried cheese actually make me feel slightly ill, am i really the only person here who actually eats salad every day and like... likes it
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Probably, yeah.
Wait no. Harry too, probably.
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oh
i can leave, i mean it doesn't have to be a weird thing
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Ate Twinkie on my visit to the US this september, it tastes artificial and is really not worth the calories.
Murderbunny seems to like them though!
(http://lh5.ggpht.com/_ikWHorei_dE/TOdVASxgy0I/AAAAAAAAAc0/6sqRVCYXNdM/CIMG0313.JPG)
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oh
i can leave, i mean it doesn't have to be a weird thing
No, your alternative views provide the much needed diversity this forum requires to prevent it from becoming a group of trans-continental fatties eating shitty food and complaining about our chest pains.
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seriously though all these twinkies and hot dogs and noodles and fried cheese actually make me feel slightly ill, am i really the only person here who actually eats salad every day and like... likes it
I actually eat more salad than noodlebox.
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My mom tells me a fried Twinkie is actually alright, though I would never try one
Also, what would your twinkie be if the world ended? Mine would probably be an ice cream sandwich?
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I've never eaten a twinkie, I don't eat hotdogs (though I'm interested in trying those monstrosities posted earlier) and honestly the most unhealthy thing I do is go slightly overboard with cheese when I have pizza. The food I eat is actually pretty good and reasonably healthy, I just eat a shit load of it.
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Also, what would your twinkie be if the world ended? Mine would probably be an ice cream sandwich?
Probably salt licorice or popcorn.
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I've had a fried oreo once. Tasted like donut really.
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but seriously, how can you tell me this doesn't look delicious
(http://baguettebakerycafe.com/images/Mandarin%20Orange%20Pecan%20Salad.jpg)
(http://www.gimmesomeoven.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/pomegranate-salad-with-honey-cider-vinaigrette1.jpg)
(http://img.recipezaar.com/img/recipes/19/05/47//large/picJ2fQzL.jpg)
(hot dog thread, take note - the no. 1 rule in ever making a food-based argument is to make sure you never use anything but really good looking photos)
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Hey my noodles are the motherfucking mona lisa
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yeah those were some pretty good noodloh wait oh shit dogg i just realised we live in the same city! totally gonna go to noodlebox next week
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You get so much food in those things.
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I always assumed twinkies were like lamingtons, but long and cream filled, rather than cube shaped and, uh, cream filled?
Twinkies would be much better if they were lamingtons.
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Also, I used to work as a place that made noodles a la Noodlebox and they were so good. Then I realised that our shop wasn't the most hygienic of places and the smell of noodleshops like that bring back memories of that time and I lose my appetite. Fuck you Yummy Noodle.
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I avoid Twinkies most of the time. Though every summer, I buy a box and FREEZE THEM which makes them tastier, plus it's cool and more filling than an icepop. Even though there's the empty calories, and the sugar. But, too, they don't melt and get all messy.
I love salad. My friends accuse me of being a rabbit. And FRIED OREOS? Oh, God, tell me that's a lie ... I've heard they even fry Snickers bars ... Gross. Then there's fried ice cream ... No wonder so many of us Americans are dying of heart disease and cholesterol! We're frying every damn thing!:
And I prefer Zingers, too. My gran and I used to have the raspberry ones occasionally when my parents were gone.
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Never, ever underestimate what Americans will deep fry, especially in the midwest and the south. We can and will coat anything in batter and infuse it with fat. Hell, some guy in Texas deep fried BEER.
The beer is placed inside a pocket of salty, pretzel-like dough and then dunked in oil at 375 degrees for about 20 seconds, a short enough time for the confection to remain alcoholic. When diners take a bite the hot beer mixes with the dough in what is claimed to be a delicious taste sensation.
http://www.fieldandstream.com/blogs/hunting/2010/09/texas-chef-successfully-deep-friesbeer
As ridiculous as it sounds, I'm somewhat impressed. A friend and I once tried to deep fry Jolly Ranchers and it did not end well.
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I bought one from Cybercandy in London once. It was gross, I was quite disappointed.
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I had a deep fried Twinkie once back when the whole deep-frying everything craze started. I was not impressed.
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I haven't had a twinkie in years. (The deep fried ones are terrifying.)
HOWEVER. Hostess cupcakes could kick a twinkie's butt.
(http://www.pamelamichellejohnson.com/images/cupcakes.jpg)
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I have to agree with Linds that the Hostess Cupcake is superior to the Twinkie.
However the chocolate covered Twinkie known for some reason as the Chocodile is pretty tasty.
(http://www.freshchocodiles.com/images/chocodile_unwrapped_food_finds.jpg)
Actually I haven't had Twinkies or Chocodiles in ages and the last time I had a Hostess Cupcake it was disappointing. Perhaps I've gotten too old for snack foods.
P.S. I have never seen a salad I thought looked delicious. This possibly explains my weight and cholesterol problems.
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man i am from the southern US and have never had a twinkie, or even heard of a chocodile. chocodile? really?
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Before WWII twinkies were filled with banana cream. They switched to vanilla cream when bananas were rationed, and then never switched back because vanilla cream was more popular. I so want to try a twinkie filled with banana.
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Fun fact: before Twinkies had banana filling, they were a strawberry shortcake! But when strawberry season was over, they couldn't produce them. So banana filling it was!
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but seriously, how can you tell me this doesn't look delicious
Doesn't look that appealing to me, largely because I am not sure what's on them or such, I think. I don't like salad very much, largely because of the dressings, largely because of not liking certain common ingredients for taste or texture reasons. I eat real, healthy BREETEESH food. Potatoes! Vegetables! Occasional meats! Some rice and such. I am still overweight but that's because I comfort eat junk food like crisps or chocolate bars when I am depressed or stoned, and I am either depressed or stoned pretty much all the time.
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So basically Twinkies are the result of over-producing things to the point where those things are no longer available so they just substitute whatever is available at the time? How American.
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This thread is disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. You make me sick, all of you. Bless you tania for your picture of salads.
Yes this thread is my fault. I make myself sick.
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(http://www.thisiswhyyourefat.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/Robbys-30th-Birthday-Cake.jpg)
hellooo
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Fun fact: before Twinkies had banana filling, they were a strawberry shortcake! But when strawberry season was over, they couldn't produce them. So banana filling it was!
That is close but not entirely accurate:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkie#History
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I've never eaten a twinkie, I don't eat hotdogs (though I'm interested in trying those monstrosities posted earlier) and honestly the most unhealthy thing I do is go slightly overboard with cheese when I have pizza. The food I eat is actually pretty good and reasonably healthy, I just eat a shit load of it.
Don't forget your Burger King addiction..
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I have never had a Twinkie but Zebra Cakes are basically a gift from God.
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Every put your dick into a pile of twinkies? Feels just like some mexican tar herion, except in your penis.
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Deep fried Oreos are goddamn delicious. The place I got them from, they're battered in funnel cake mix and then fried, and then dusted with powdered sugar. The cookie gets soft and the filling kinda starts to dissolve and it's amazing. They also did Twinkies the same way but Twinkies freak me out. They're all squishy and spongey and I don't like the cream filling and there's so much of it and ew.
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The red ones on that tower are probably Raspberry Zingers.
Cream filled and covered in Raspberry coating and coconut.
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Yeah, they look like snowballs, but in log form.
I would much prefer a twinkie with banana cream. The regular ones are kind of bland, but then again, they probably will be one of the few foods that survives the apocalypse. That's really creepy to think about.
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(http://www.lifelounge.com/resources/IMGDETAIL/fat_america_news_detail.jpg)
GO USA
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Oh come on. That whole thing is a myth.
Twinkies do not survive any longer than any other cake product that is mass produced and pumped full of preservatives. They only stay fresh for like a month or two. Maybe half a year before they are no longer eatable.
http://www.snopes.com/food/ingredient/twinkies.asp
I would like to add that I got this book for the library a few years back.
http://www.amazon.com/Twinkie-Deconstructed-Ingredients-Processed-Manipulated/dp/1594630186
It's amazing that the same ingredients that go into a Twinkie go into Concrete, cardboard and weed killer.
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Oh come on. That whole thing is a myth.
Twinkies do not survive any longer than any other cake product that is mass produced and pumped full of preservatives. They only stay fresh for like a month or two. Maybe half a year before they are no longer eatable.
http://www.snopes.com/food/ingredient/twinkies.asp
I would like to add that I got this book for the library a few years back.
http://www.amazon.com/Twinkie-Deconstructed-Ingredients-Processed-Manipulated/dp/1594630186
It's amazing that the same ingredients that go into a Twinkie go into Concrete, cardboard and weed killer.
Remember that scene in Die Hard?
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I don't like walnuts on my salad. Fuck those salads Tania.
Seriously though, I'm sure a lot of people on this forum eat pretty decent most of the time, but that shot is boring as hell to talk about, so we don't. What isn't boring to talk about, are monstrosities of colon-blocking deliciousness. Mmmmm.
That picture of the chocolate covered Twinkie and the non-annoying new person's story of freezing Twinkies reminded me of these caramel filled cake things that I ate a bunch of when I was in Timmins, which were amazing when you froze them. Canadian people, any idea what I'm talking about? My google-fu gives me nothing.
I had a chocolate-covered Oreo from FAO Schwartz. That was fantastic, I don't care what you say.
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Every time I see a picture of a twinkie I am disappointed it doesn't look like this:
(http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2009/05/26/1225716/439105-candidate-attacked-by-lamington.jpg)
Stop showing me your non-lamington twinkies, dammit.
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to be honest dovey i think i am just jealous and resentful of all you skinny fucks who are actually able to eat whatever you want and not somehow end up hideously, morbidly obese unlike some people (tania people)
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Tania you've met me, I'm not skinny at all. I do have a lot of fun though.
Goddamnit Hannah I am depressed THANKS TO YOU. I'm getting Vegemite and Milo brought over when Sam's folks come to visit at Xmas, but I don't think they'll be able to bring lamingtons. Oh lamingtons, I never appreciated you fully enough when I had you :-(
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you know you can make lamingtons yourself, right?
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Sure I can. Will I? That is a question that remains to be seen. (I probably will not) (I did make a mean banana bread last week though)
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I don't like salads, I generally don't eat vegetables because I guess I am trying to die but i just never do
I like lots of pasta and oreos and filipino things like tinola, which does have vegetables, i do eat vegetables sometimes.
I really like strawberries
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I've never eaten a twinkie, I don't eat hotdogs (though I'm interested in trying those monstrosities posted earlier) and honestly the most unhealthy thing I do is go slightly overboard with cheese when I have pizza. The food I eat is actually pretty good and reasonably healthy, I just eat a shit load of it.
Don't forget your Burger King addiction..
I can't find any burger kings here so I guess it's only an american thing.
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We have Burger Kings in the UK, but it's never achieved the same level of penetration as McDonalds, KFC or even Pizza Hut. The Isle of Wight, for example, a unitary county, has no Burger King franchise whatsoever. Perhaps Burger King simply lacks the will? McDonalds will probably have burger flippers on the fucking moon before NASA gets back there.
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Also Burger King in Australia (there are some, but most of them are rebranded as Hungry Jacks) doesn't taste the same as american ones. Also it's not served to me by people with delightful american accents. It makes me sad.
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You should just come back!
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I'm skinny, I eat whatever I want, but lately I have realised that processed food is disgusting (seriously, that coating it leaves inside your mouth? vomit). Salad is the way to go.
SALAD. SO DELICIOUS.
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I find the most disturbing thing about processed foods to be the preservatives. I am just starting to worry about the net effect of dumping preservative-laden food through my digestive tract for the past twenty-four years and it bothers me. I am imagining my intestine, semi-embalmed. I know that is not the case but I worry about my micro-fauna hangin' out in my gut and I don't want to kill them with preservatives I want them to be strong and to be my pals!
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Also preservatives make me really ill.
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What the hell is a twinkie and why the hell are they so popular in America? Why have twinkies become such an important part of your culture and what the hell is wrong with you?
Twinkies are somewhat popular due to being one of our older national brands, but compared to Oreo cookies, Doritos, or Lay's potato chips they're small-time snack foods and actually aren't all that popular. I haven't seen anyone buy or eat a twinkie in years. When I worked at a gas station in college we didn't bother even carrying Hostess food products (Even their cupcakes, which have always outsold twinkies) and at the time I think they were filing for bankruptcy. Twinkies basically have negative cultural cachet, but notoriety gets press even when you can't sell more than 500 million a year (Which, is actually kinda sad by US snack standards-- there is 300+ million of us, after all). When it comes right down to it, they're known in part because they're one of the default foods you cite when you decide to call someone a fat lazy fuck. They're also older than dirt so thanks to WWII they're one of those items foreigners associate with the US despite the fact that we're usually too busy eating Snickers and washing it down with a Coke or Pepsi to be bothered eating one.
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That picture of the chocolate covered Twinkie and the non-annoying new person's story of freezing Twinkies reminded me of these caramel filled cake things that I ate a bunch of when I was in Timmins, which were amazing when you froze them. Canadian people, any idea what I'm talking about? My google-fu gives me nothing.
(http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:Mf0zB6kDOuOQGM:http://www.canadaonly.ca/images/ahcaramel.jpg&t=1)
Fucking yes
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Everything I know about Twinkies I learned from the Simpsons; namely, that you cannot kill them.
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I like those chocolate covered pretzels, Flipz I think they're called. And Oreos. I love Oreos.
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The only things remaining come the Apocalypse will be cockroaches, Twinkies, and the faint smell of cat pee.
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Sounds like my front room's one-third of the way towards being a post-Apocalyptic nightmare!
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Oh come on. That whole thing is a myth.
Twinkies do not survive any longer than any other cake product that is mass produced and pumped full of preservatives.
You guys are not very good at reading the thread.
Also, further down the page I linked:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkie#Shelf_life
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Fucking yes
Fucking YES
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Does you hideous obese country make anything snacky that's not hideously overstuffed with dairy products? I want to visit and eat your horrific foods without having an allergic reaction to near everything.
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I'm pretty sure there is nothing organic left in these foods.
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I'm pretty sure there is nothing organic left in these foods.
There is something wrong with this sentence. I've worked it out, it's the word 'foods.'
I can't believe we live in a universe where these are 'foods.'
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:(
I apologise for my sentence structure and/or word choice. I am sorry they offend you.
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Oh. That wasn't a dig. I was just slagging off twinkies, not you :-)
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Oh good! Phew.
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Does you hideous obese country make anything snacky that's not hideously overstuffed with dairy products? I want to visit and eat your horrific foods without having an allergic reaction to near everything.
Last I heard, Australia and New Zealand are number 2 and 3 on the WHO fat list and you guys deep fry candy bars at a far higher rate than we do, so you'll probably feel right at home.
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Does you hideous obese country make anything snacky that's not hideously overstuffed with dairy products? I want to visit and eat your horrific foods without having an allergic reaction to near everything.
Sunchips. Graham crackers. Goldfish. Granola bars. Various fruit chews/candies that are low in sugar and still quite delicious.
Seriously, we aren't all fatties and don't eat that crap all the time. There are better things in life than those made by Hostess and Little Debbie.
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I have lived in the US my entire life and I've maybe tried a twinkie once. So no, they aren't that hard to avoid if you don't want them.
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They're also older than dirt so thanks to WWII they're one of those items foreigners associate with the US despite the fact that we're usually too busy eating Snickers and washing it down with a Coke or Pepsi to be bothered eating one.
I know about Twinkies from this (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkie_defense).
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Linds ... Plants V Zombies FTW
That picture of the chocolate covered Twinkie and the non-annoying new person's story of freezing Twinkies reminded me of these caramel filled cake things that I ate a bunch of when I was in Timmins, which were amazing when you froze them. Canadian people, any idea what I'm talking about? My google-fu gives me nothing.
Yay, I'm non-annoying ... I take it that most of the new people make people want to scratch their retinas, or develop short-term memory loss?
The only things remaining come the Apocalypse will be cockroaches, Twinkies, and the faint smell of cat pee.
THAT ... is awesome.
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I hate packaged cakes :c My friend loves frozen Ah Caramels. But I hate Them.
Wait is that a canada thing to do? I thought it was just my friend.
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As far as I can tell they only exist in Canada. And maybe only Eastern Canada, seeing as I haven't been able to find them here (although that may be because of Canmore being relatively small, maybe they're around somewhere in Calgary?)
Anyway dear, almost-but-not-quite-foods thread; today at breakfast I had a smores flavoured Pop-tart.
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This is the latest data I could find for obesity rates in countries:
http://durangobese.blogspot.com/2010/10/top-30-obese-nations-of-world-with.html
Australia is #6 but they must not be counting Sydney because everyone here is relatively slim due to all the cigarettes and drugs and stress.
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Also Burger King in Australia (there are some, but most of them are rebranded as Hungry Jacks) doesn't taste the same as american ones. Also it's not served to me by people with delightful american accents. It makes me sad.
No no no no no no no, Jimmy, you have it all wrong. AUSTRALIANS are the ones with delightful accents, not Americans!
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Stress always makes me eat more. I've heard everything tastes better when you're emotional. Also, Twinkies have a 25 day shelf life, if that means anything to anyone. This makes me sad because I thought they were indestructible.
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Dude Hartley WTF
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I died then came back to life. The underworld is excellent but I missed you guys.
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Hi!
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Hello! I see everyone is still doing well.
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that's what you think!
...no, yeah, we're fine.
So I went to the store earlier with the intention buying some zingers because of this thread, but once I was standing there in front of the aisle-end altar to sugar and preservatives, I just...couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to relive being 12 and eating a bunch of sugary crap with wild abandon.
I will remember them as they were, delicious and harmless, and try not to ruin them with stuff like "facts" and "the truth." Rose-colored glasses, and all that.
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Man, I wonder what the cream buns we used to get in primary school would taste like these days. They were basically just a bread roll filled with fake whipped cream.
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In my head, the fake whipped cream is like expanding sealant foam.
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In reality, that is not that far from the truth.
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Yeah, that's a pretty accurate statement. It's scary.
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Well. Hell.
Thank you, Australians. I never once had a Chocodile (in fact, never had I heard of a chocolate-coated Twinkie before this post) in my life, but after hearing and seeing these lamingtons, I had to Google them.
Upon finding a recipe for them, being a home-baker, I had to make them. 3 DIFFERENT RECIPES ... I am weak. But my neighbors and ladies at my church now love me for it. Lamingtons have been officially released into the Kansas City Metropolitan area!
LOOK OUT, AMERICA!
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Watch out, soon you'll start becoming embroiled in interminable lamington debates such as "Jam: bastardisation or essential ingredient?" and . . . Actually that's the only one, really.
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I venture that the same question could be asked of cream.
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Actually, I figure that is just what the Kansas City Metropolitan area needs, nockiemommy. Keep up the good work!
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Lunchy, cream in a lamington is just silly and surely everybody realises that it's just a manifestation of a depraved mind.
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I know, I know, and in a lactose-intolerant family I have only ever had creamless lamingtons. Bakeries around here, however, seem to think that LAMINGTONS NEED CREAM ALL THE TIME.
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There's that Sydney decadence everyone's always talking about.
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Actually, I figure that is just what the Kansas City Metropolitan area needs, nockiemommy. Keep up the good work!
So long as I possess a creative and inventive mind, an oven, stove and have access to yummy ingredients ... The work shall continue!
And I actually made 6 batches ... Two of each recipe ... One batch of each with a cream center, and the other a half-batch with berry jams and grape jams... I am admittedly on the jam side of the Jam V Cream debate.
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After two days of wanting a lamington I had one on saturday with a pot of tea at a local cafe. Ben had cheesecake, and I got his extra scoop of ice cream and oh man it was delicious. Now I want more, but am too lazy to actually make them.
I am glad you are liking them, Nockie! The thing is that popular around valentine's day is to make pink ones, and I can guess that people have made green ones for st patrick's day. Oh man, I just had the best idea. Red and green lamingtons for christmas! I want to see if I can convince someone to do that, it would be hilariously silly and perfect.
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It would be simple, really ... make 2 white cakes and color them with food dye ... Then use a marbling technique ... Or do a white and a red and marble for the whole peppermint candy effect. Alas, I am definitely seeing more lamingtons in my future!
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Oh no, you misunderstand: it's not a jam vs. cream debate, it's a filling vs. no filling debate. When you get a lamington in Australia it's an even bet whether it's going to have jam in the middle or nothing. Personally I prefer no filling: I have a suspicion that a lot of people put a layer of jam in the middle of their lamingtons in a desperate attempt to compensate for the fact that the sponge is too dry. Ideally you want a light, moist sponge with a deliciously moist chocolate coating.
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Oh no, you misunderstand: it's not a jam vs. cream debate, it's a filling vs. no filling debate. When you get a lamington in Australia it's an even bet whether it's going to have jam in the middle or nothing. Personally I prefer no filling: I have a suspicion that a lot of people put a layer of jam in the middle of their lamingtons in a desperate attempt to compensate for the fact that the sponge is too dry. Ideally you want a light, moist sponge with a deliciously moist chocolate coating.
*GASP* Alas! I blanked on trying them sans filling ... Dammit. Well, I suppose I should get the baking-sweets out of my system before I seriously start working off this baby-weight. More lamingtons tomorrow LOL .. This time ONE batch plain, no filling. I might like that even more than with the jam!
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Oh shit. Oh shit lamingtons. I have to have one as soon as I get paid. Shit.