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Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 22:37

Title: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 22:37

(to a woman of color) Hey baby, was your daddy a UPS Driver? Cuz since I met you I've been wondering what brown can do for me.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 22:38

Damn Girl, are you descended from one of the victims of the Donner party?

Because I would love to eat your ass.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 22:38

Did your daddy run a failed Mule Train?

Cuz your ass is out of control.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:38

Not to be blunt, but your daddy's name must be swisher, cuz damn girl you sweet.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:38

Does your dad work for BP? Because I'm thinking he could help us clean up the oil spill after we do some drilling later tonight.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:39

Is your dad a detective?

Cuz you look like you know a lot about dicks.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:39

Is your daddy a hangman?

Cuz I'd love to choke you while we fuck.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:40

Is your dad a pedophile?

Cuz he touched me when I was little.

I'm still in therapy.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:41

(to a black woman) Are you a descendent of thomas Jefferson having sex with a slave?

Cuz you kinda fuck like a white girl.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:41

Were you molested as a child?

Would you like some candy?

It's in my van.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:41

Is your brother a bully?

Cuz I want him to beat up my throat.

With his dick.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:42

Did your grandparents survive the holocaust?

Cuz you're really skinny.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:43

Do you enjoy the philosophy of Friedrich Nietzsche?

Cuz I want to Ubermunch your cunt.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:44

Did your father run a kennel?

Cuz honestly you're kind of a bitch.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:45

Your dad must have hated all your childhood pets.

Cuz I get the impression you're used to your pussy getting killed.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:46

Do you have a rape fantasy?

Because otherwise this is gonna be a violation of my parole.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 28 Dec 2010, 23:46

 :wink:

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: imagist42 on 29 Dec 2010, 00:50

(http://how-i-met-your-mother.maxupdates.tv/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/barney_stinson.jpg)

Who's your daddy?

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: imagist42 on 29 Dec 2010, 00:52

Seriously though have you had paternal relationship issues because I was consistently surprised when I saw how many "your daddy" jokes you kept coming.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Johnny C on 29 Dec 2010, 01:20

Hey baby, what's your sign? Oh yeah? Well where's the birth certificate

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: est on 29 Dec 2010, 01:34

Hey baby your mother must have been an angel, 'cos daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: calenlass on 29 Dec 2010, 02:21

It's good that you work this soul-killing retail/server/sales job because I think your frustrations with life make you so much better in bed.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: David_Dovey on 29 Dec 2010, 07:33

Hey baby do you like rape jokes because here are some

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: David_Dovey on 29 Dec 2010, 07:34

Hey baby was your mother an alcoholic because you have many of the signifying characteristics of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: David_Dovey on 29 Dec 2010, 07:35

Hey baby can I pay you money to have sex with me

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: David_Dovey on 29 Dec 2010, 07:37

Hey baby was your daddy Julian Assange because I want to have sex with you without a condom

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: David_Dovey on 29 Dec 2010, 07:38

Also take a leak on you

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: David_Dovey on 29 Dec 2010, 07:38

 :wink:

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Nodaisho on 29 Dec 2010, 09:20

How do you mix up R Kelly and Julian Assange?

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: tania on 29 Dec 2010, 09:36

get in the van or i'll fucking kill you

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Christophe on 29 Dec 2010, 10:05

Some people like to objectify women. I like to womanize objects.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Johnny C on 29 Dec 2010, 10:09

Quote from: tania on 29 Dec 2010, 09:36

get in the van or i'll fucking kill you

get out of my dreams and get into the van

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Johnny C on 29 Dec 2010, 10:10

are you from tennessee? oh. you look like a backwater hick with bell's palsy or something. figured i'd ask

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Johnny C on 29 Dec 2010, 10:10

do you come here often? i do. i'm coming right now

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Johnny C on 29 Dec 2010, 10:11

i'll give you thirty bucks to drink this glass full of my piss

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: ZJGent on 29 Dec 2010, 10:19

what's a lovely girl like you doing in a place like this?

... oh. you're a man.

what a coincidence, so am I. We should fuck.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Johnny C on 29 Dec 2010, 11:24

everyone clear the fuck out and give roddy some space, let a master have room in his studio

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: est on 29 Dec 2010, 15:27

I dunno man, Tania's one actually made me laugh out loud.  Maybe they should fight?

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: est on 29 Dec 2010, 15:30

Man, now you got me thinking about a THUNDERDOME thread/area where condemned boarders go to have a post-off, then we have a poll and the loser is banned.

TWO MEN ENTER, ONE MAN LEAVE

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: est on 29 Dec 2010, 15:32

Co-incidentally, that would have been a great headline to announce the first successful male-female trans op.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: tania on 29 Dec 2010, 15:33

Quote from: est on 29 Dec 2010, 15:27

I dunno man, Tania's one actually made me laugh out loud.  Maybe they should fight?

to be fair i've used this same pickup line like, eight times since i have been on this board but it's just such a classic (for anyone interested it's also got a phenomenal success rate)

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: vegkitkat on 29 Dec 2010, 15:45

Quote from: David_Dovey on 29 Dec 2010, 07:35

Hey baby can I pay you money to have sex with me

Of course, good sir.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Lummer on 29 Dec 2010, 15:45

If you weren't a filthy Jew I'd totally bone you.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Der Golem on 29 Dec 2010, 17:01

Your dad must've inseminated your mother.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: KharBevNor on 29 Dec 2010, 18:40

Quote from: est on 29 Dec 2010, 15:30

TWO MEN ENTER, ONE MAN LEAVE

ME TARZAN, YOU FUCKHOLE

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Demonic Angel on 29 Dec 2010, 19:26

I've just shit my pants, can I get into yours?

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Demonic Angel on 29 Dec 2010, 19:28

Can I kill you? I really prefer to fuck the freshly dead.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Ozymandias on 29 Dec 2010, 20:11

(http://www.checkoutmyink.com/assets/photos/0263/7785/164625_174068322623728_100000616843578_430783_2624385_n.jpg?1292804470)

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Inlander on 29 Dec 2010, 20:18

Wrong thread, dude.

Or is this stare-duck thing just popping up everywhere now, I dunno.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: scarred on 29 Dec 2010, 21:45

I thought he was just implying that flashing a woman your Psyduck would be enough to weaken her knees.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: ThePianoMan on 29 Dec 2010, 23:07

Baby, you remind me of Psyduck, because  the sight of you, like Psyduck, makes me think of horrible fanfiction-related perversity.

 :psyduck:

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: ThePianoMan on 29 Dec 2010, 23:11

Babe, you're like a pokemon, in that I'd like to touch you with my (poke-)balls.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Johnny C on 29 Dec 2010, 23:23

hey baby, wanna see my psyduck? ha ha. see it's tattooed onto my penis, and when it's erect it evolves into golduck. where are you going

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: scarred on 30 Dec 2010, 06:13

bby, I choose you.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Aurjay on 30 Dec 2010, 06:20

Does this smell like chloroform? No? Shit, hold on a sec...

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: David_Dovey on 30 Dec 2010, 10:24

Baby, was your daddy a Republican congressman because I think I blew him in an airport bathroom

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Cire27 on 30 Dec 2010, 10:34

(http://www.tvjab.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/carl.jpg)

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 30 Dec 2010, 11:32

Quote from: David_Dovey on 30 Dec 2010, 10:24

Baby, was your daddy a Republican congressman because I think I blew him in an airport bathroom

Yes.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 30 Dec 2010, 11:32

Quote from: est on 29 Dec 2010, 15:30

Man, now you got me thinking about a THUNDERDOME thread/area where condemned boarders go to have a post-off, then we have a poll and the loser is banned.

TWO MEN ENTER, ONE MAN LEAVE

They did this on hipinion, actually.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: calenlass on 30 Dec 2010, 13:17

Quote from: scarred on 30 Dec 2010, 06:13

bby, I choose you.

Whenever I would get sidetracked on account of not taking my ADHD meds, my ex would say "Katie-chu, return!". I always thought it was funny.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: ZJGent on 30 Dec 2010, 18:16

"For a fat lass, you don't sweat much."

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Jimor on 30 Dec 2010, 18:51

"You must be an angel, because I can hear Lucifer screaming your name from the bowels of Hell."

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Jace on 30 Dec 2010, 19:08

You could have what I like most in women, my penis.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: LeeC on 30 Dec 2010, 19:21

"girl you smell good, did you take a bath in rainbows and cupcakes."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqL-mA_rXDA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqL-mA_rXDA)

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: KharBevNor on 30 Dec 2010, 20:08

Quote from: Inlander on 29 Dec 2010, 20:18

this stare-duck thing

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: axerton on 01 Jan 2011, 09:00

so...how many fingers fit?

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Rot10Kid on 01 Jan 2011, 16:41

Quote from: axerton on 01 Jan 2011, 09:00

so...how many fingers fit?

(http://www.gogaminggiant.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/facepalm.jpg)

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: David_Dovey on 01 Jan 2011, 17:04

What the fuck is that avatar

Don't have that avatar man

Don't do it

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Hairy Joe Bob on 01 Jan 2011, 17:17

This thread started off kinda funny in an ironic way. Then it just got a bit horrible. I judge it thus.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Graphite on 01 Jan 2011, 18:08

I think that was always its aim, and it has apparently succeeded with aplomb.

Quote from: axerton on 01 Jan 2011, 09:00

so...how many fingers fit?

A dude actually said this at a New Years party we were at. Just... just let your imagination do the rest.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: Professor Snuggles on 01 Jan 2011, 18:18

Man this thread was supposed to be awesome and funny people were supposed to come up with jokes and instead there's a lot of really really bad posts in here and it's making it so much harder for me to try to hold on to my attempts at being a better/cooler/respectful/responsible boarder in 2011 like come on guys can't we have awesome threads?

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: est on 01 Jan 2011, 18:57

Han & I were talking shit the other day and realised that some variation of "Wow, you're so beautiful, but you'd look better with some colour in you" has probably been used at some point by a non-white dude as a pickup line.

Title: Re: Thread Where We Make Up Horribly Offensive Pick Up Lines
Post by: David_Dovey on 01 Jan 2011, 20:11

I sure fucking hope so