THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Comic Discussion => QUESTIONABLE CONTENT => Topic started by: snubnose on 14 Jan 2011, 00:58
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I'm just curious. :)
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No - never was (I was a rather repressed teenager, and times were different then). I guess I thought about it after my divorce; but I ended up (before getting anywhere) with the view expressed by the author in Scott Pilgrim vol 6:
BUT IT WAS HORRIBLE
FOR EVERYONE
AND THAT INCLUDES YOU.
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I too thought about it, and attempted it in college, but generally failed at it rather quietly with a minimum of awkwardness, thank goodness.
I'm much more like Marten in outlook: find lady, monogamy ensues.
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Serial monogamist. Sex is awesome, but it's never been a goal unto itself. It just happens to be a nifty benefit of being with the right person.
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Serial monogamist. Sex is awesome, but it's never been a goal unto itself. It just happens to be a nifty benefit of being with the right person.
The same basically. Now, if I could only find the right girl, that would be great.
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Nowhere near completely casual, I'll put a tie on if they must have one.
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I've always wondered what it is like for all those other people who's friends don't come with benefits. It's been over 6 years since I've had any friends that didn't also come with benefits. :psyduck:
I'm Monogamously Polyamorous? I have one soulmate partner, and all my friends are like "Well, I'm bored, want to have sex?" and it seems to be the default go-to thing to do.
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I've always wondered what it is like for all those other people who's friends don't come with benefits. It's been over 6 years since I've had any friends that didn't also come with benefits. :psyduck:
I'm Monogamously Polyamorous? I have one soulmate partner, and all my friends are like "Well, I'm bored, want to have sex?" and it seems to be the default go-to thing to do.
This is making me think of one of my favorite XKCD comics, but I can't find the exact comic for posting here.
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Historically, yes, I have been into casual. And polyamory. Had one serious long term on-again/off-again relationship for several years, but it remained an open relationship for most of the time we were together. When she died I went back to my "casual" routine. Eventually it got old, but old habits die hard. Now I am in another semi-serious relationship. This time I am trying to do the whole monogamy thing. I've never had a monogamous relationship before, so we'll see.
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I'm Monogamously Polyamorous? I have one soulmate partner, and all my friends are like "Well, I'm bored, want to have sex?" and it seems to be the default go-to thing to do.
That's how I was with the partner who die last year. Emotionally, she was my rock and as close to a "soulmate" as I believe exists. But outside recreation was permitted and did occur.
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That's how I was with the partner who die last year. Emotionally, she was my rock and as close to a "soulmate" as I believe exists. But outside recreation was permitted and did occur.
Way I figure it is you have two types of friends, or at least, a sliding scale of how close of friends you are.
On one side you have casual acquaintances. On the other side of the scale you have friends who are close enough are deep enough friends to truly love each other, and not have the friendship harmed at all by having casual sex with each other.
The word "casual sex" makes it sound, at least in my case, less appropriately intimate and trusting than it is. Makes it sound more random and not giving a shit. I trust my friends, and we love each other unconditionally. I would trust them with my life over my own blood family. That says something I think.
Probably that I'm out of my gourd :D
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I plead the 5th ("I refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate me")
:police:
But I did vote.
I will say this, though; I've never understood "friends with benefits". I love my friends, male and female, as friends. Sex tends to complicate things, though - and moves a friend into the category "lover". The notion that, after sex, you can casually just go back to being the friends you were is a little weird to me, and I've never found it to be true. Then again, I'm pretty close to pwhodges' generation, post summer-of-love, smack in the middle of the disco era, pre-AIDS. Well, post AIDS too, but I was married by then.
That may have been one of the things that precipitated the change - who can you trust to be "clean"? You know your friends! It just wasn't a concern in the age of the "zipless fuck" of the 70's.
There's probably a thesis in there somewhere for an up-and-coming Kinsey.
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This is making me think of one of my favorite XKCD comics, but I can't find the exact comic for posting here.
330
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This is making me think of one of my favorite XKCD comics, but I can't find the exact comic for posting here.
330 (http://www.xkcd.com/330/)
Linked for you. Then again, for the too-lazy-to-click,
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/indecision.png)
I like that xkcd supports hotlinking.
Edit: the mouseover text is "Hey, I don't make the rules. It's in the book."
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But you lose the popup line.
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Not really. I've had one friends with benefits relationship, but it turned to dating after 2 months, and it was exclusive. Go figure, it went downhill after that we made it "official". I learned from it though. Ex's should stay as such.
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But you lose the popup line.
I think I'd been following for a little over a year before I realized that there even were such things. :-P
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I am shocked, and also thrilled, to see that two other people voted for no sex before marriage. I thought I was the last of a severely endangered species. At close to 30 years old and still a virgin (in a serious relationship of over 5 years with a VERY patient boyfriend), I tend to catch a lot of flack from my coworkers, but the vast majority of friends respect and admire my decision.
I also assume that everyone has their own definition of sex, but in my case, pertaining to vaginal intercourse. We also agree with Marten that there will be no poo poo on the pee pee (:
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So oral/manual/other body parts doesn't count?
My take's always been, if somebody orgasms, it's sex.
Of course, it's better if everyone orgasms!
I've had a few incidents where no one did :| but not for lack of trying, so I'd still call it sex.
(Dammit, didn't I plead the 5th?)
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To me, sex = vaginal (or anal, if you're into that ((eww)) ) penetration, with a penis. Oral "sex" is not sex in my book, to my boyfriend's delight, I am sure (: So yes, I routinely give/receive oral sex with him, and am completely comfortable (morally, emotionally, and physically) doing so, and still consider myself a virgin. I know the jury is still indefinitely out on that one, but that's just my personal take on it.
Yes, it is ALWAYS better if everyone orgasms! But if that's the case (that if someone orgasms, it's sex), what do you call masturbation? If you are masturbating by yourself and reach orgasm, did you just have sex with yourself? If that's the case, is any curious teen who masturbates and orgasms no longer a virgin, even if they've only ever been by themselves? :-o :-o :-D
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Question then:If your okay with everything else sexual, then why not sex itself?
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Yes, it is ALWAYS better if everyone orgasms! But if that's the case (that if someone orgasms, it's sex), what do you call masturbation? If you are masturbating by yourself and reach orgasm, did you just have sex with yourself? If that's the case, is any curious teen who masturbates and orgasms no longer a virgin, even if they've only ever been by themselves?
Sex takes two (or more) people. Mutual masturbation would be sex, but masturbation is just... playing with yourself. Like tickling, it's just not the same without another person!
But, as for being a virgin, I have heard people get more specific, with terms like "vaginal virgin" (and anal virgin, oral virgin, etc). If you're going too make those distinctions then fine, but don't pretend you're a "complete" virgin!
The opinions expressed above are those of the poster. Any resemblance to fact is purely coincidental. If you disagree, fine, but that's your problem, not mine!
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Question then:If your okay with everything else sexual, then why not sex itself?
Early childhood trauma. We'll just leave it at that (:
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But, as for being a virgin, I have heard people get more specific, with terms like "vaginal virgin" (and anal virgin, oral virgin, etc). If you're going too make those distinctions then fine, but don't pretend you're a "complete" virgin!
I can agree to that line of reasoning. Practically everyone I know in my age group in my region, and those of mutual friends around the country, do not consider oral as actual sex. Maybe it's a generational thing? Interesting. Ok then, to be specific, I am a 2/3 virgin, but my mouth is a slut puppy :wink:
I hereby change my vote to only while in a serious relationship, as I have only engaged in oral with my ex boyfriend and my current. At least I'm not pulling a "Clerks" with 37 conquests :-o
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Sex DOES complicate things. Or, more accurately, Emotional Involvement complicates things. Sex doesn't have to be complicated, but when you combine it with a preexisting emotional connection, it can get messy rather quickly. I have generally made it a point to not have sex with friends. Girlfriend or casual acquaintances only, not friends. My life has enough drama in it without adding more.
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Ah, the old "does oral = sex" debate. I think the line has to be defined by each person individually. I am a lesbian, so for me it counts. My general definition of sex is roughly "direct manipulation of the genitals (either with part of the body or a toy) without clothing in the way, regardless of whether or not orgasm is reached."
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Question then:If your okay with everything else sexual, then why not sex itself?
Early childhood trauma. We'll just leave it at that (:
Well, that's a whole different kettle of fish then, and your distinction makes sense.
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Practically everyone I know in my age group in my region, and those of mutual friends around the country, do not consider oral as actual sex. Maybe it's a generational thing? Interesting. Ok then, to be specific, I am a 2/3 virgin, but my mouth is a slut puppy :wink:
Yes, as an older forumite, I consider it a generational thing. My children tell me stories...
I was lucky enough to be Friends With Benefits with a wonderful woman a few years ago. We were exclusive for a year or two, with her maintaining, "I am NOT your girlfriend!" which I found amusing, since we were doing all the things GF/BF do together... But I was more in love, and when she found someone else, it was over.
[Also: I love that last sentence quoted above, and am strongly tempted to adopt it as my sig...] :laugh:
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My view on this issue has gone through several changes throughout my life (as I'm sure everyone's has).
1) I was going to remain a virgin until I got married. Period.
2) I decided to have sex with my (ex)boyfriend, who I had thought was "The One" I do not regret it one single bit.
3) That ex and I are still best friends and take part in "casual relations" from time to time and it is great fun and I don't feel uncomfortable, etc with the situation (as I thought I might).
4) Now that I live away from said friend, I find myself feeling *ahem* quite horny, quite often. I know at this present time I do not want to be in a serious relationship (finishing school, looking for a job anywhere). I do know that I miss the experience of sex and have, on occasion, met up with several people I know specifically for the purpose of "casual sex." And I haven't found myself developing feelings, etc for any of them.
There are my two cents...Basically I'm just horny.... :psyduck:
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THAT BEING SAID!!!!!!!
In this situation (Marten's *mother* suggesting he go out and have casual sex after just having gotten out of a relationship) I do not think casual sex is a good answer. Rebounding can lead to misguided emotions and other...things?
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[Also: I love that last sentence quoted above, and am strongly tempted to adopt it as my sig...] :laugh:
Feel free (:
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Yes. Yes I am.
I should say we are.
Wife-unit and I are bisexual, into the "swinging" scene and group sex. We both have a couple of partners we hook up with on a regular basis.
The "love/marriage" comes from a meeting of minds and meshing of personalities. We also realize that posing restrictions on each other (monogamy) would in fact destroy what is an essential part of ourselves.
It's hard to explain... but it works for us. And that is all that matters!!
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Yes. I don't think I'm cut out for a real relationship... but most of the time, casual sex isn't worth the hassle or the risk, so I don't do it very often. What was it Warhol said? "I prefer a nice cup of tea"? Basically that.
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The "love/marriage" comes from a meeting of minds and meshing of personalities. We also realize that posing restrictions on each other (monogamy) would in fact destroy what is an essential part of ourselves.
It's hard to explain... but it works for us. And that is all that matters!!
There are a surprising number of people who rethink these cultural restrictions and experiment to see what works better.
I've been fascinated by this messy topic for decades, and now anthropologists are finding more evidence (and rethinking things that Darwin and others misinterpreted) showing that the human animal is NOT naturally monogamous. (That's correct, females too.)
See the book, "Sex at Dawn" and others. I've always wondered about that whole "til death do us part" dogma and why it's so difficult and does seem to destroy essential parts of our selves.
Not to mention another person essentially owning your sexuality: "if you cheat even once, I'll take you for everything you've got, and make you pay for the rest of your life. We may be incompatible, or I may cut you off, but you're stuck, buster."
Only 10,000 years ago, just before agriculture transformed everything, we all lived in small hunter-gatherer groups, and pretty much SHARED EVERYTHING... Cooperation within the tribe was vital, no one knew or cared whose children were whose (and we were all closely related anyway.) [Plus, there was no war, famine, poverty, or tyranny, but let's stick to one topic.]
Honestly, I don't think society would collapse if we loosened up this one artificial restriction... It might take some adjustments, but I don't believe it should Destroy Marriages and Lives if someone succumbs to another's charms.
Have you heard that "Culture is your operating system; but it's not your friend." ?
(I hope The Moral Guardians ignore me.)
:-o
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F*ck, no.
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Can't really have an opinion; 19 years old and still a virgin. :oops:
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Can't really have an opinion; 19 years old and still a virgin. :oops:
Is this virgin by choice or virgin by circumstance? I think it could have a difference....
What are your feelings on the idea of casual sex then?
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Can't really have an opinion; 19 years old and still a virgin. :oops:
The poll only asks what you want, not what your situation is.
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Can't really have an opinion; 19 years old and still a virgin. :oops:
Is this virgin by choice or virgin by circumstance? I think it could have a difference....
What are your feelings on the idea of casual sex then?
Woah, it ain't by choice, I'm a horny teenage boy. I'd be down for it.
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The "love/marriage" comes from a meeting of minds and meshing of personalities. We also realize that posing restrictions on each other (monogamy) would in fact destroy what is an essential part of ourselves.
It's hard to explain... but it works for us. And that is all that matters!!
There are a surprising number of people who rethink these cultural restrictions and experiment to see what works better.
Tradition is code for "we're too damn lazy to come up with a better idea." See also seniority and union.
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Well, for most of my adult life, I have lived by the old axiom of "if you're not 100% comfortable with an idea, don't do it". Yeah, my first year in college I did try casual sex, and I will honestly say, I lost interest in it very quickly. Then I met this amazing girl, we went out for nearly two years, and it was far more satisfying (for me personally) to have a relationship like that then casual hookups. It was more fun to keep things interesting between us then to wake up and struggle to remember what the girl's name is, especially if you were hungover....
Anyway, different strokes for different folks, whatever floats your boat, puts the wind in your windsock or shivers your timbers, what works well for one person, doesn't necessarily work for others.
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I have a two-and-a-half year old who wakes her mother and I up at all hours of the night because she peed/pooed/had a bad dream/wants some water/got cheated on her investments, and is a complete bundle of energy/crystal methamphetamine from the time she gets home from daycare at 5 until she goes to bed at 8. Then we get to deal with the screaming and crying for another twenty minutes.
I'd take any sex I could get right about now. It's been a while. :-D
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Thank god my kids are nearly grown. Instead of waking us in the middle of the night, we spend half the night waiting up for them...
:?
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For me it has been totally dependent on where my head is at. I have been through phases where I definitely was not in a headspace for a relationship, and when I was trying to be "normal" and date people, I would run out after about three dates, usually without sleeping with them because it was seen as some sort of "seal the deal" thing. So I went through what I jokingly refer to as various "arbitrarily slutty" phases--which I should really rename because I think words like "whore" and "slut" are just generally harmful loaded things to perpetuate. I think they were incredibly helpful to my development as a person, because they put me in situations where I had to learn to communicate my needs and boundaries very clearly. Generally I tend to vascillate between two ends though--either I'm uncommitted and having a fair amount of casual sex, or I'm with a long-term partner or dating several people with the intent to find a long-term partner. But I don't use casual sex as a "rebound" as Ms. Reed is suggesting, or as "prep work" for a monogamous relationship. After a bad breakup, I generally have to take an extended break just for myself.
I think I'm just not in a place to want or deal with polyamory. When I am in the head space for monogamy, I don't really crave anything (or anyone) outside that--and I'm bisexual, so I guess that's a little unusual. When I am not, I also tend to not be in a head space for any kind of commitment either, but then I have struggled with commitment in the past.
Also, re the virginity/what-is-sex debate, since the primary significance of these acts is experiential and personal, these are totally subjective definitions that should be seen as a personal mechanism for organizing and relating to experiences, not a social metric for judgment. If we let go of our assumptions about what "normal" sex is, we find we all have boundaries of things we are uncomfortable with, things we are only willing to do or attempt with certain people (real or potential), things that are totally within our comfort zone, and acts and situations that hold particular meaning for us (good or bad). For example, many people with open relationships agree to reserve certain activities, often as simple as holding hands or kissing, for their primary relationship, even though when using a traditional progression model of sex that puts vaginal penetration as the final and ultimate objective of sex, it would seem illogical to attach more meaning to "lower" activities than "higher" ones. Intimacy comes in all kinds of flavors and is fundamentally shaped by the experiences and identities of the intimate partners. Attaching tons of social importance to ideas like virginity, especially using a rigid heteronormative reproduction-centric definition as is commonly applied, doesn't do a whole lot but harm people through arbitrary social shaming. If individuals choose to attribute special importance and status to vaginal penetrative sex in their own lives, that is totally fine--but that is THEIR decision, and not anyone else's to enforce upon them or shame them for their adherence to or deviation from that standard.
TL;DR slut-shaming is Rude and the meaning of sexual acts is individually determined so don't worry about it too much
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(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/drama.png)
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Phineas' Corollary;
For every change in the rules, there is an exponential increase in the number of rules needed to deal with the change.
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I am shocked, and also thrilled, to see that two other people voted for no sex before marriage. I thought I was the last of a severely endangered species. At close to 30 years old and still a virgin (in a serious relationship of over 5 years with a VERY patient boyfriend), I tend to catch a lot of flack from my coworkers, but the vast majority of friends respect and admire my decision.
I also assume that everyone has their own definition of sex, but in my case, pertaining to vaginal intercourse. We also agree with Marten that there will be no poo poo on the pee pee (:
i've always thought this to be a relic of past times, when birth control didnt exist yet and women had to have the (sortof) financial and social security of having a husband (in those times divorce was unheard of as well) before they could risk getting pregnant
not liking casual sex is one thing, but imo thats taking it a bit to far in todays society
myself...meh a bit in between i guess, not randomly or super exclusive
i basicly have to care about a person
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I am 20 and have been in my first relationship (which also happens to be a committed one) for almost exactly two years now, being a virgin until that. So I cannot really tell. Back when I was single, I was "not that type of guy", though.
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I've done casual before. Twice that I can think of. Once was the best bad sex I'd ever had; the other time got ugly because I made the mistake of going with the stereotype and assuming that he was only up for something casual. Though we did at least keep talking long enough that at least I don't feel we parted on bad terms.
I've had a couple of experiences with poly. I really can't tell if I would *never* be okay with it, or if I just had a bad experience because I had a really mistaken idea of what to expect, and by the time I had my head sufficiently wrapped around everything the connections were totally poisoned between me and others. It really doesn't interest me right now, though.
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Thank god my kids are nearly grown. Instead of waking us in the middle of the night, we spend half the night waiting up for them...
:?
You know, I try to remind myself not all men are that way. o.0
I just hope the one I chose will not be that way when we start our family. (Edit: I'm responding to you, about the post above yours, not directed towards you at all.)
I am a one person only kind of girl. I have tried casual sex, I did not enjoy it what-so-ever. It was very awkward, that was when I realized I only enjoy it with someone I love and care about. Everyone marches to a different beat.
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i've always thought this to be a relic of past times, when birth control didnt exist yet and women had to have the (sortof) financial and social security of having a husband (in those times divorce was unheard of as well) before they could risk getting pregnant
Religious-moral belief reasons or simply the feeling that its more romantic this way could also be a reason.
Thank god my kids are nearly grown. Instead of waking us in the middle of the night, we spend half the night waiting up for them...
:?
You know, I try to remind myself not all men are that way. o.0
I just hope the one I chose will not be that way when we start our family. (Edit: I'm responding to you, about the post above yours, not directed towards you at all.)
I am a one person only kind of girl. I have tried casual sex, I did not enjoy it what-so-ever. It was very awkward, that was when I realized I only enjoy it with someone I love and care about. Everyone marches to a different beat.
Um.
About your first sentence: what way ?
I checked and this is your first posting in this thread. So I dont understand: what is this way that not all men are like ?
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i've always thought this to be a relic of past times, when birth control didnt exist yet and women had to have the (sortof) financial and social security of having a husband (in those times divorce was unheard of as well) before they could risk getting pregnant
Religious-moral belief reasons or simply the feeling that its more romantic this way could also be a reason.
This kind of argument is almost made by requoting myself....
but for the hell of it: current organized religion is sortof the same deal, based on out-dated values and ancient shortsighted beliefs
and feeling it as more romatic would lead me to conclude you either come from a similar environment or are such a hopeless romantic i'd probably hurl at this sight of said person & partner :roll:
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I'd like to think no, but I've never been good enough with women to have a really rounded, knowledgeable viewpoint on the issue. From the girlfriends I have been....er..."lucky" enough to have, I'll just assume that one woman would be more than enough for me.
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Before anyone picks it up, I'll remind people that the forum rules prohibit discussion of religion.
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Um.
About your first sentence: what way ?
I checked and this is your first posting in this thread. So I dont understand: what is this way that not all men are like ?
Maybe I said that wrong. I am mostly responding to when Armadillo said "I'd take any sex I could get right about now. It's been a while. grin" because he hasn't gotten any due to having had a child.
I've had a horrible past with men, my trust in a man committing to me and only me is very shaky at this point in my life (hence why I said what I said, not all men are sleaze balls like the ones I have known and I always try to remind myself that there are some pretty damn good men out there). I don't know if Armadillo was implying that if another woman tossed herself his way he wouldn't hesitate to cheat, unless his wife was ok with that, however he didn't say so. I am wrong to assume the worst of his situation, sorry.
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Faithful or no, having a newborn in the house kills everyone's sex life. It's just the way of the world.
Don't worry, a week or so after the babe starts sleeping the night through, it all comes back!
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Faithful or no, having a newborn in the house kills everyone's sex life. It's just the way of the world.
Don't worry, a week or so after the babe starts sleeping the night through, it all comes back!
no personal experience, but i would immagine sleep depravation kinda does that to your sexlife
not like its any change from the 9 months before that (well for most people), do most guys in that situation rekindle the intimate relation with their right hand ;o? poor suckers
Before anyone picks it up, I'll remind people that the forum rules prohibit discussion of religion.
sorry must've missed that, is there a rules topic i missed somewhere?
thought i read em all
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Ooo, I can't find that as a rule in the main rules thread either! However, "no religion or politics" has been imposed by the moderators since before I joined this board, and more recently a separate forum (Discuss) was started which allows them in civilised discussion. The Discuss forum has an introductory thread (http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,20968.0.html) by the forum administrator (admin > mod), est, which refers to this matter. Because Discuss currently doesn't allow you to post until you have 100 posts elsewhere, and because I'm not sure if you can even see it before then, I quote the post:
Welcome to the DISCUSS forum!
This is a place for lively discussion/civil debate on any topic. The "No religion or politics" rule does not apply to this section of the forum, however all other forum rules still apply, including insta-bans for porn, gore and other obviously offensive material. Links out to artistic nudity is allowed if it is within reference to the topic being discussed - and I must stress artistic nudity as being what is generally regarded as fine art, not some anime tentacle rape bullshit.
Insults, ad hominem attacks, trolling, baiting, passive-aggressive bullshit and other forms of shit-dickery will not be tolerated at all in this forum. Disagreement with another poster's opinions is welcome. However if you cannot voice your disagreement without resorting to personal insults, you have no place here. Anyone found being a jackass will be barred from this section of the forum completely for a time fitting with the kind of behaviour displayed, and any offensive or overly disruptive posts may be either edited or removed wholesale to keep conversations mostly on-track.
Basically this is an experiment in creating a "serious" (and fairly heavily-moderated) forum where people can talk about things that would normally garner a "why are you posting this?"
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no personal experience, but i would immagine sleep depravation kinda does that to your sexlife
not like its any change from the 9 months before that (well for most people), do most guys in that situation rekindle the intimate relation with their right hand ;o? poor suckers
No personal experience either, but I've heard that sex is quite allowable until quite late in pregnancy, apart from, um, positional issues.
Edit - @pwhodges your link to the introductory thread comes up with a "does not exist or is off limits" page for me, and I'm under the 100 post limit (although darn close!)
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I'll see if we need to update one of the main rules threads so that the rule is clear to all...
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I think I'm just not in a place to want or deal with polyamory. When I am in the head space for monogamy, I don't really crave anything (or anyone) outside that--and I'm bisexual, so I guess that's a little unusual. When I am not, I also tend to not be in a head space for any kind of commitment either, but then I have struggled with commitment in the past.
Haha are you in my headspace?
Yeah pretty much that. I've slept with friends (who remained friends, no weirdness), both boys and girls, and I've slept with practically strangers (I seriously can't remember some names lol), and I've had open relationships where I dated someone specifically but occasionally we slept with other people. Sometimes separate, sometimes together. (I'm not a swinger per se, but my friends were.) But then I had a relationship that went on and on and my feelings changed, and I just didn't want to sleep with other people anymore without him being involved, and he felt the same way (yay for that, haha.)
That was my first long-term relationship so I didn't know my feelings on the matter would change...but I think they do. I think that if I fall in love with someone, I still want to have casual sex but only if they're a part of it because I laaav theeem and I like their parts best of all. But maybe sometimes I'm attracted to other parts..and I will wholly admit, being bisexual, sometimes I really crave the parts I'm not currently getting. 8'D lols
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No, I would NOT cheat on my wife if some random woman threw herself at me. I married her for a reason, and take my vows seriously.
Good God, can't a guy make a "my sex life's gone into the crapper since the knee-biter got pooped out" crack without being assumed a complete jerk? I mean, I'd bet they've found a similar joke written in hieroglyphics.
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I apologize again. I didn't mean to step on toes, but the way it read seemed like it was so.
And yeah, stress/lack of sleep/babies are sex killers. However, headaches are no excuse, sex helps! :wink:
I like to call babies demon spawn. At least I know mine will be, because I was a terrible kid... and I will get paid back by having kids that are worse than how I was.
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y'know alot of this would be alot easier to follow if gender were indicated somewhere...
I'm just sayin'
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I apologize again. I didn't mean to step on toes, but the way it read seemed like it was so.
And yeah, stress/lack of sleep/babies are sex killers. However, headaches are no excuse, sex helps! :wink:
I like to call babies demon spawn. At least I know mine will be, because I was a terrible kid... and I will get paid back by having kids that are worse than how I was.
so by that logic your grandkids will be the antichrist?
y'know alot of this would be alot easier to follow if gender were indicated somewhere...
I'm just sayin'
some people prefer to keep that to themselves, as with most personal info
internet is full of crazies :)
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y'know a lot of this would be a lot easier to follow if gender were indicated somewhere...
That's what people's profiles are for.
some people prefer to keep that to themselves, as with most personal info
internet is full of crazies :)
I don't think that information that reduces the number of people you could be to just half of the planet is seriously compromising, do you?
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some people prefer to keep that to themselves, as with most personal info
internet is full of crazies :)
I don't think that information that reduces the number of people you could be to just half of the planet is seriously compromising, do you?
I think it's usually more of a way for people to avoid "indecent" advances (thus usually done more commonly by females than males). Probably a holdover from the "old days" when people would be like "Oh, wow! A girl on the internetz! I must have your phone number!"
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Also, some folks do not want to have their opinions discredited based on gender. "Well of course a MAN would say something so offensive!" or "Silly wimmins, with their hysterical irrationality!" The old, if a man says A he's assertive, if a woman says A she's a bitch; if a woman says B she's kind, if a man says B he's a wuss.
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Anyone who offensively misused information in that kind of way on this board would be out on their ear PDQ.
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so by that logic your grandkids will be the antichrist?
No, they would be perfect angels. That's how it works out. The parent goes through hell with their kids, then when the kids grow up and make their own babies, the grandparent pays their babies back by spoiling the mess out of the grand babies!
Great grandparent? The great grandchild gets away with murder. I've learned this from my boyfriends incredibly large family.
....I just lost myself.... :psyduck:
Of course I'm saying all of this in a light hearted manner. I hope you aren't taking me serious. =D
Edit: Woooooah. Fixed the quote text. Whoops.
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Idk, I've never understood sex with random strangers... but sex with a friend I trust I'm ok with. I have an odd situation in being both polyamorous and being very wary of physical intimacy with people. I have to REALLY REALLY trust them. My wife on the other hand... has much less of a problem with that. (but still, people we know and that I don't hate (that rule works both ways, she can veto any specific person for me as well), and we have to communicate it to the other beforehand). But hey, it works for us and we are happy.
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I'll see if we need to update one of the main rules threads so that the rule is clear to all...
It appears that the rule ("no religion or politics") was removed in view of the Discuss forum being created, which at that time was visible to all. So I guess that I was a touch too sensitive; sorry, all.
If mention of religion or politics leads to behaviour that breaches the rule that says "BEHAVIOR: Please be civil" that's another matter, of course; and I guess that serious discussion of those subjects belongs in Discuss anyway, just as a matter of tidiness.
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I might be into casual sex, if...bleh, I don't want to say it. It's rather...embarrassing. (and no, I'm not talking about size)
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OK, so why did you post that if you redacted the whole thing?
you're such a tease!
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so by that logic your grandkids will be the antichrist?
No, they would be perfect angels. That's how it works out. The parent goes through hell with their kids, then when the kids grow up and make their own babies, the grandparent pays their babies back by spoiling the mess out of the grand babies!
Great grandparent? The great grandchild gets away with murder. I've learned this from my boyfriends incredibly large family.
....I just lost myself.... :psyduck:
what i got from this is if you dont have grandparents you are/were a horrible child?
otherwise you seriously lost me ;o
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And yeah, stress/lack of sleep/babies are sex killers. However, headaches are no excuse, sex helps! :wink:
My headaches always get worse when I orgasm. Like way worse. ): Which has been annoying at times...when you just wanna get off and go to bed and then inadvertently make it impossible to sleep for the next hour or two... >n>
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Well, my girlfriend swears sex DOES help against a headache. I suppose it depends on the way you have sex; as long as no major movings of head are involved, it will most likely be fine. Somebody should probably write a doctor paper on it. :D
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Actually, I think it depends more on the headache type - some come from increased blood pressure, and if you're a guy, all the blood coming back into your system from losing your erection would increase your overall BP, so your headache would get worse...
But yeah, the shaking probably doesn't help.
Disclaimer; I have a doctorate, but am not a Doctor, nor do I play one on TV
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But he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.... :mrgreen:
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Is it just me who has no idea what I'm 'into'? If I try to have a serious relationship, I'm really bad at connecting with people and I always end up either being too open and naive or too cold and uncaring. If I try to do it casual, I tend to always end up having feelings or getting nervous or something else retarded. Nothing seems to make any sense to me. I'm kind of curious that most people here seem to know exactly what works for them. The impulses towards loneliness and horniness that we all feel, I have no idea how to interpret or what to best do about them :?
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Well, my girlfriend swears sex DOES help against a headache.
This. And how. The endorphins do wonders for a headache.
Well, provided it's not a full-blown migraine. But then, I doubt you could get anyone with a migraine to do anything in bed besides lie down with the covers over their head and maybe try to sleep. :psyduck:
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Well, my girlfriend swears sex DOES help against a headache.
This. And how. The endorphins do wonders for a headache.
Well, provided it's not a full-blown migraine. But then, I doubt you could get anyone with a migraine to do anything in bed besides lie down with the covers over their head and maybe try to sleep. :psyduck:
Sometimes you can't even do that. Nothing is worse than waking up in the morning from the sheer splitting agony your head is in.
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I slept 4 days when I had my first migraine.. when I was awake I was laying in bed crying myself back to sleep. 4 days worth of migraine for a 12 year old = no fun.
Rje, that's no good. =[ I guess we're all a tad bit different in that nature. I figured endorphins would pretty much kick in no matter what for anyone.
Carl-E shaking doesn't really help, I agree. However, after having an orgasm I generally forget about the head rattly feeling I had moments before. :-D
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I was a virgin til I was 21, mainly because there was no one I knew that I wanted to have sex with. When I was a teen some of my friends used to joke that I was asexual, which I wasn't. I got plenty randy, but it just never seemed to attach itself to anyone. I thought about doing it with my best friend as a sort of see what the big deal is about thing, but I figured it would be a really bad idea for me. He offered and I totally loved the guy, but it would have been wrong because 1) I really needed him as a best friend and I didn't want to risk getting things all twisted up in my head. 2) He preferred men even though he did sleep with ladies on occasion. 3) It would have felt slightly incestuous as our relationship was almost brother/sister like ... admittedly more on my end than his.
I can't do casual for the basic reason that I have to be into someone to get physically excited by them. I can look at someone attractive and think them attractive, but I've never been one to see an attractive person and think "I'd like to jump on that and ride it like a pony!" (A friend of mine actually said this once)
I'm definitely into monogamy. I don't think I'm emotionally capable of dealing with an open relationship. When I love someone, I'm not good at sharing their attention/affection with others. This is true of non-sexual relationships as well. I kind of have this thing where I like to be the center of the universe. :roll: I'm not an easy person to be live with, but a point in my favor is that I know what my issues are and I try not to let them run me to the point where I make people miserable.
I'm bisexual, but I am not one to crave sex from one gender or the other. Sex is awesome, I don't particularly have to have it from a man or a woman to make it so.
Sex and headaches ... I've had it work both ways. I guess it depends on the headache.
I apologize again. I didn't mean to step on toes, but the way it read seemed like it was so.
And yeah, stress/lack of sleep/babies are sex killers. However, headaches are no excuse, sex helps! :wink:
I like to call babies demon spawn. At least I know mine will be, because I was a terrible kid... and I will get paid back by having kids that are worse than how I was.
so by that logic your grandkids will be the antichrist?
Well, my grandma' called me both demon spawn and devil child, and there are days when I'm pretty sure my middle child is the antichrist. :evil:
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Sex and headaches ... I've had it work both ways. I guess it depends on the headache.
Speaking of "both ways"... when I am tired, sex tends to make me awake, but when I am rather awake, it makes me tired.
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Sooo... it's good in the morning and in the evening!
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OK, so why did you post that if you redacted the whole thing?
you're such a tease!
It's because...oh hell with it, Internet anonymity can be a good thing at times.
Thing is, I don't know how to broach the subject of sex with a girl. Sure, talking/joking about it with them I can do just fine, but initiating the actual act itself...is much harder. In short, I blame it on the fact that I have a really hard time reading people and either miss or misinterpret the vast majority of whatever subtle body language is being directed at me, not to mention I suck at picking out subtleties in speech that point one way or the other.
So yeah, casual sex might be fun, if I knew how to get to it.
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Doctor O - I'M DOING IT WRONG :cry:
haha nah I bet it's a combo of how my body tenses a lot when I climax (like my head too, which actually kind of hurts when it happens but I don't even know I'm doing it til afterwards when it's like 'ow my neck >_<') and my insanely irregular breathing lmao. I'm pretty sure I hyperventilate at the rise and stop breathing at the climax. My orgasms are stupidly intense. Being asthmatic probably doesn't help huh? :mrgreen:
But the endorphins *are* nice indeed =w=
Sex and headaches ... I've had it work both ways. I guess it depends on the headache.
Speaking of "both ways"... when I am tired, sex tends to make me awake, but when I am rather awake, it makes me tired.
Haha omg what is that - oh yeah those endorphins. When it makes me awake, it makes me awake. I'm all ::shoves partner to the side:: Cuddling? Nap? Wtf are you talking about, we've got to go jogging! And clean EVERY ROOM EVERYWHERE! And REPAINT THE HOUSE! REPAINT THE NEIGHBORHOOD! C'mon, c'mon!! ::runs out the door::
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Speaking of "both ways"... when I am tired, sex tends to make me awake, but when I am rather awake, it makes me tired.
Haha omg what is that - oh yeah those endorphins. When it makes me awake, it makes me awake. I'm all ::shoves partner to the side:: Cuddling? Nap? Wtf are you talking about, we've got to go jogging! And clean EVERY ROOM EVERYWHERE! And REPAINT THE HOUSE! REPAINT THE NEIGHBORHOOD! C'mon, c'mon!! ::runs out the door::
I just hope you remember to put some pants on before you go running out the house.... Being brought home by the cops, wrapped up in a blanket, does not actually sound like it would be a pleasent experience.
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Yes, it is ALWAYS better if everyone orgasms! But if that's the case (that if someone orgasms, it's sex), what do you call masturbation? If you are masturbating by yourself and reach orgasm, did you just have sex with yourself? If that's the case, is any curious teen who masturbates and orgasms no longer a virgin, even if they've only ever been by themselves? :-o :-o :-D
... I think my brain just imploded. Well-thought, but damn. My easily-cinfused poor brain is having a day today.
And Carl-E ... pleading the fifth? Here? GAH .. you should know better. This place is Overshare HELL! We're in a tactical TMI testing zone!
*EDIT: I spelled place "plas" .. duh
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Ah, it's good to see that humanity can't kick its social instincts and many still prefer relationships.
Not that there's anything wrong with that...
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I can't do casual for the basic reason that I have to be into someone to get physically excited by them. I can look at someone attractive and think them attractive, but I've never been one to see an attractive person and think "I'd like to jump on that and ride it like a pony!" (A friend of mine actually said this once)
I'm definitely into monogamy. I don't think I'm emotionally capable of dealing with an open relationship. When I love someone, I'm not good at sharing their attention/affection with others. This is true of non-sexual relationships as well. I kind of have this thing where I like to be the center of the universe. :roll: I'm not an easy person to be live with, but a point in my favor is that I know what my issues are and I try not to let them run me to the point where I make people miserable.
This. I am the exact same way. I used to get insanely jealous when I was a child when my parents would say another little girl was adorable. I'm not as bad as I used to be, however when it comes to someone I love and am intimate with, it's still there. When I was approached in the past by an ex about a three-some, I replied "If I were to allow it, I know my emotions will overtake me and the moment she touches you I will be on top of her beating her ass. No."
Haha omg what is that - oh yeah those endorphins. When it makes me awake, it makes me awake. I'm all ::shoves partner to the side:: Cuddling? Nap? Wtf are you talking about, we've got to go jogging! And clean EVERY ROOM EVERYWHERE! And REPAINT THE HOUSE! REPAINT THE NEIGHBORHOOD! C'mon, c'mon!! ::runs out the door::
Exact same way. Usually we knock each other the hell out in the middle of the daytime. When we knock each other out, those cuddles and naps are the greatest. :-D
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I am open to it, but I also do relationships.
I guess this. I never really thought about it much. I'm currently happy in a 2 year monogamous relationship, before that I was in an open relationship for about 6 months, and before that certified man-whore.
I never really gave it much thought, I just kinda went with the flow.
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Your user pic is strangely appropriate to the discussion.
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well at least I added something, I guess.
:psyduck:
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I don't see anything wrong with the casual thing. If you're not in the right places to become emotionally involved with someone but you're into them, why bother complicating things by trying to label it as something more than casual.
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And Carl-E ... pleading the fifth? Here? GAH .. you should know better. This place is Overshare HELL! We're in a tactical TMI testing zone!
Screw tactical, this is full on strategic TMI bombardment!
Good fun to read though.
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Well, had my first casual experience this past week. Gotta say that I was...bored.
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I only like serious relationships. I like emotions.
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My fiance and I have discussed threesomes or opening the relationship or whatever, but have decided it wouldn't work as we are too attached to each other :-D
We were each other's firsts, more out of wanting to find the right person than anything.
So, I s'pose neither of us are into casual per se, but that doesn't stop me from being an extremely affectionate drunk and him getting a chuckle out of my "25% Gay" side making itself known. (Of course, most of that is the fact that he's the stereotype "Woo! Girl-on-girl!" type :roll:)
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Thing is, I don't know how to broach the subject of sex with a girl. Sure, talking/joking about it with them I can do just fine, but initiating the actual act itself...is much harder. In short, I blame it on the fact that I have a really hard time reading people and either miss or misinterpret the vast majority of whatever subtle body language is being directed at me, not to mention I suck at picking out subtleties in speech that point one way or the other.
So yeah, casual sex might be fun, if I knew how to get to it.
Me too. :-(
I don't see anything wrong with the casual thing. If you're not in the right places to become emotionally involved with someone but you're into them, why bother complicating things by trying to label it as something more than casual.
In theory, if we humans could avoid complicating things, misunderstanding, reading more into each others behaviors, etc, it could be a better world, though much romantic fiction and most sitcoms would disappear.
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though much romantic fiction and most sitcoms would disappear.
You make it sound like that would be a bad thing.
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Dude, not the sitcoms! We need our Seinfeld...oh, wait. OK, but Scrubs...hmmm...right...um...well, there's always That 70s Show...Damn it!
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The idea of "no strings attached" is just that, an idea. In practice, there are always strings attached; it's just a matter of how obvious they are to you. Even with a prostitute, there are strings--in the form of cash.
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In theory, if we humans could avoid complicating things, misunderstanding, reading more into each others behaviors, etc, it could be a better world, though much romantic fiction and most sitcoms would disappear.
Not gonna happen:
http://xkcd.com/592/ (http://xkcd.com/592/)
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This is making me think of one of my favorite XKCD comics, but I can't find the exact comic for posting here.
330 (http://www.xkcd.com/330/)
Linked for you. Then again, for the too-lazy-to-click,
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/indecision.png)
I like that xkcd supports hotlinking.
Edit: the mouseover text is "Hey, I don't make the rules. It's in the book."
Love this.
I'm unintentionally monogamous. I got out of one LTR, happy to see freedom and expecting to be super-manwhore-man, but stumbled into another LTR. I'm happy here, so I guess it's not in the cards for me.
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Mmm, a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. I think I'm more inclined to go with a serious relationship now.
Then I remind myself I'm 21 and I should have fun, so I slap myself.
Then I remind myself it's not like I'm reeling in the fine honeys to begin with, so I slap myself again.
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Keep slapping yourself like that, and you might give people the wrong impression.
Unless you really are masochistic...
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Or that you work in NCIS.