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Fun Stuff => ENJOY => Topic started by: SirDudley on 27 Jul 2011, 12:38

Title: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: SirDudley on 27 Jul 2011, 12:38
It's getting a movie. Featuring the U.S. Navy fighting alien warships. Again, U.S. Navy versus aliens. Also starring Liam Neeson.

What.

I definitely do not remember fighting aliens when I played Battleship as a kid. Unless there is a new edition out now pitting you against aliens that I have never heard about.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2011/07/the_secret_origin_of_the_battleship_movie.php


Again, WHAT.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: satsugaikaze on 28 Jul 2011, 03:49
AKA. Directors and Studio Executives Live Out Their Tragic Childhood Fantasies
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Border Reiver on 28 Jul 2011, 10:40
My childhood fantasties never involved Battleship
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Kugai on 28 Jul 2011, 15:55
My childhood fantasties never involved Battleship

Lucky you.

One has to wonder what the Execs were smoking this week
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Border Reiver on 29 Jul 2011, 06:16
Whatever it is - they aren't sharing with the rest of us
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Lines on 29 Jul 2011, 22:48
I saw a preview of this tonight. I honestly don't know what to think about it. But it has Liam Neeson in it. But...it's Battleship.

Someone had better say, "You sunk my battleship," or I will be disappointed. Not that I want to see it, but seriously. How could you not say it?



I am still waiting for Chutes and Ladders. Or a terrifying version of Candy Land. Somebody needs to scare some children.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: kemon on 30 Jul 2011, 03:36
i inadvertently watched most of the trailer.  it may actually be worth pirating once it's on dvd.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: satsugaikaze on 31 Jul 2011, 18:43
I've heard rumors that Liam Neeson has hit a rut in his personal life but I'm inclined to think it's just pure conjecture

But still, this is pretty nasty
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: SirDudley on 31 Jul 2011, 18:46
I've heard rumors that Liam Neeson has hit a rut in his personal life but I'm inclined to think it's just pure conjecture

But still, this is pretty nasty
I've heard similar rumors saying that Neeson is taking almost any movie offered to him to help get over his wife's death and not fall into a serious depression.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Jimmy the Squid on 01 Aug 2011, 06:35
I am still waiting for Chutes and Ladders. Or a terrifying version of Candy Land. Somebody needs to scare some children.

1) It's Snakes and Ladders.

2) In my head Chutes and Ladders would basically be Saw with...ladders. And chutes?

3)Snakes and Ladders would be like Snakes on a Plane but in a ladder factory.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Orbert on 01 Aug 2011, 08:08
I thought it was either Chutes and Ladders or Snakes and Arrows.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: pwhodges on 01 Aug 2011, 08:29
Snakes and Ladders in the UK; I've never even heard of the other versions.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: benji on 01 Aug 2011, 10:37
Snakes and Ladders is the original Indian game. Chutes and Ladders is the version most well known in the US.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Dazed on 01 Aug 2011, 10:52
Chutes and Ladders is a board game I grew up with in the US. Snakes and Arrows is a Rush album/tour I went to see in 2007
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Lupercal on 01 Aug 2011, 11:36
Snakes and Arrows is a Rush album/tour I went to see in 2007

o/

I bet Liam Neeson dies in his role. Because he does it with almost every role he takes on.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: valley_parade on 01 Aug 2011, 15:17
Liam Neeson as Neal Peart? I can't see it.  :mrgreen:
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: SirDudley on 01 Aug 2011, 15:42
I bet Liam Neeson dies in his role. Because he does it with almost every role he takes on.
Except "Taken", where he kills most of the cast. In about 100 different ways.

And "Ponyo", as that was Miyazaki doing a simple children's tale and not one of his big epics.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: satsugaikaze on 02 Aug 2011, 02:32
I bet Liam Neeson dies in his role. Because he does it with almost every role he takes on.
Except "Taken", where he kills most of the cast. In about 100 different ways.

And "Ponyo", as that was Miyazaki doing a simple children's tale and not one of his big epics.

I think if the rumors about him are true than another Miyazaki dubbing role would do him a world of good

And probably get him an awards nomination at the same time
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: IMMANotListening on 02 Aug 2011, 05:13
Did the executives play the same Battleship game as we did?

...

Because I definitively don't remember MY Battleship games looking like something that Michael Bay pulled out of his ass.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Border Reiver on 02 Aug 2011, 09:04
Brown, and covered in fecal matter? :roll:
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: SirDudley on 02 Aug 2011, 11:54
One thing that struck me as a better idea is to adapt some of the missions from the game Super Battleship back on the SNES.

Start the movie with that annoying escort mission where a severely damaged ship has to navigate through a minefield to safety and is pursued by subs. Let the ship sink (as opposed to making it to safety) and spark a war between opposing navies. Then cherry pick from the remaining missions for different skirmishes culminating with the game's final mission, "Total War", which was a slugfest between every ship on hand for both sides. Granted, this game left off aircraft carriers for action purposes (i.e., no big guns to be used by the player), but working them in would be very easy to pull off in a movie.

For character focuses, choose a cocky rookie officer who has the cliched sibling/relative/parent who went down with the damaged ship as the main lead and place him in charge of a new task force. Have Liam Neeson be the admiral in charge of the entire fleet who is still uneasy of letting this new officer take a big command. Let the rookie bond with his crew and grow as a person through trial and error and a few embarrassing defeats. Then, develop the enemy fleet. Let them have depth and complexity as opposed to the one-note villains most action movies receive. At the final battle, let both the main lead and the enemy leader have one of those standoffs that are pure action fests that go down to the wire, with both accepting the other as a worthy opponent before the enemy ultimately loses.


There, I've made a better movie idea than what Hollywood has come up with in under 10 minutes. And one that is true to the nature of the original board game to boot.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: jwhouk on 02 Aug 2011, 16:57
That's why you'll never make it in Hollywood.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Torlek on 02 Aug 2011, 18:03
One thing that struck me as a better idea is to adapt some of the missions from the game Super Battleship back on the SNES.

Start the movie with that annoying escort mission where a severely damaged ship has to navigate through a minefield to safety and is pursued by subs. Let the ship sink (as opposed to making it to safety) and spark a war between opposing navies. Then cherry pick from the remaining missions for different skirmishes culminating with the game's final mission, "Total War", which was a slugfest between every ship on hand for both sides. Granted, this game left off aircraft carriers for action purposes (i.e., no big guns to be used by the player), but working them in would be very easy to pull off in a movie.

For character focuses, choose a cocky rookie officer who has the cliched sibling/relative/parent who went down with the damaged ship as the main lead and place him in charge of a new task force. Have Liam Neeson be the admiral in charge of the entire fleet who is still uneasy of letting this new officer take a big command. Let the rookie bond with his crew and grow as a person through trial and error and a few embarrassing defeats. Then, develop the enemy fleet. Let them have depth and complexity as opposed to the one-note villains most action movies receive. At the final battle, let both the main lead and the enemy leader have one of those standoffs that are pure action fests that go down to the wire, with both accepting the other as a worthy opponent before the enemy ultimately loses.


There, I've made a better movie idea than what Hollywood has come up with in under 10 minutes. And one that is true to the nature of the original board game to boot.
So...basically take the latest Star Trek movie, put it on water, add a little more character to the bad guys and call it done?
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: SirDudley on 02 Aug 2011, 18:07
So...basically take the latest Star Trek movie, put it on water, add a little more character to the bad guys and call it done?
I'd take that over piss-poor Michael Bay rejects.

But, that is my opinion. Everyone is welcome to their own.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Kugai on 02 Aug 2011, 19:10
"Mr. Sulu, Dive the boat please."
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: IMMANotListening on 03 Aug 2011, 03:11
Brown, and covered in fecal matter? :roll:

That's pretty much all of his movies in a nutshell.  :-D
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Blyss on 03 Aug 2011, 07:16
(http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2007/20070704.jpg)

Booyah!
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Lines on 04 Aug 2011, 11:44
I am still waiting for Chutes and Ladders. Or a terrifying version of Candy Land. Somebody needs to scare some children.

1) It's Snakes and Ladders.

2) In my head Chutes and Ladders would basically be Saw with...ladders. And chutes?

3)Snakes and Ladders would be like Snakes on a Plane but in a ladder factory.

It'd be kids sliding down slides and then HOLY FUCK THEY ARE EATEN BY SNAKES. Like Anaconda and Saw and Snakes on a Plane had a threesome and this was the accident baby with mystery paternity.

And Candy Land could have the potential to be one of the biggest mindfucks ever if the right person got a hold of it.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: SirDudley on 04 Aug 2011, 12:02
And Candy Land could have the potential to be one of the biggest mindfucks ever if the right person got a hold of it.
Candy Land. Featuring the film debut of Suda51.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Kugai on 04 Aug 2011, 20:03
Speaking of how Hollyweird changes things ........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfvLcozLwtE

 :-D
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: look out! Ninjas! on 05 Aug 2011, 17:32
Brown, and covered in fecal matter? :roll:
also blurry and on fire
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Jimor on 05 Aug 2011, 22:21
Speaking of how Hollyweird changes things ........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfvLcozLwtE

 :-D

I'll see your Ghandi II and raise you "Hollywood Makes a Cake" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNs2FdmiPyo).

"Does it have to be a cake?"
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Kugai on 05 Aug 2011, 23:07
Or is it a BeyCake?
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Border Reiver on 06 Aug 2011, 10:27
And Candy Land could have the potential to be one of the biggest mindfucks ever if the right person got a hold of it.
Candy Land. Featuring the film debut of Suda51.

Throw Tim Burton and Johnny Depp at it.  If it's not messing with people's heads then one of those two suffered serious head trauma from the throw.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: IMMANotListening on 06 Aug 2011, 17:31
^ And then to make it even worse, have Nicolas Cage as the villain because he only has one expression on his face.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Lupercal on 07 Aug 2011, 03:53
Not unless they take his face off, like in Face/Off.
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: Lines on 07 Aug 2011, 08:34
Noooooo, you people will ruin it!
Title: Re: Battleship (Yes, the board game)
Post by: satsugaikaze on 08 Aug 2011, 18:17
Throw Tim Burton and Johnny Depp at it.  If it's not messing with people's heads then one of those two suffered serious head trauma from the throw.

You talk about Burton and Depp as if they were separate beings