THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Comic Discussion => QUESTIONABLE CONTENT => Topic started by: moodeyes113 on 20 Oct 2011, 06:51
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Or did she feel obligated to say it back? :psyduck:
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Yes.
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I don't even think that, after all this time, Faye would have been able to retain any idea of how "love" would feel like for her. (We all know "love" is a very subjective concept)
Because of that, I say she felt obligated and now feels remorse for either being untrue to herself or sort-of lying to Angus...
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Looking at the slightly ashamed/sheepish expression on her face in the last panel of today's comic, I'd say yes. I mean, yeah, she probably initially said it out of obligation, but now that she has she's now seriously considering it as possible, and it's scaring her for all the obvious reasons. Also, she's also probably both pissed at herself and simultaneously relieved for not taking Angus up on his offer, which is not helping her emotional state at all.
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Given her reaction it's probably a good thing she didn't go with Angus. If he'd said "I love you" at some point during the trip, which seems likely, Faye would have been in a situation where she wouldn't be able to get away from Angus when she felt uncomfortable.
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No matter how I slice it I always get back to Angus being an inconsiderate idiot with this one.
With his suggested level of insight into how relationships work, he should know that you NEVER spring the L-word on someone you're about to be separated from for the next few days (I think) or when the relationship is younger than (depending on the persons involved) 4 to 10 months... oO
I blame him for Faye's turmoil and torment.
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Well, Angus also has a record of popping things out of his mouth without advance screening.
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My brain of course dropped the "g" in "Angus" when I read the title.
Moving on.
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Agreed. I don't think Angus was trying to put Faye on the spot, he's just used to being more open with his feelings than Faye is (even if he is embarrassed by it on occasion (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2004)). Of course in retrospect it was obviously a mistake, but it's done now, and it's not like none of the other characters lead perfect, mistake-free lives.
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Meh, I've never understood that huge weight people put onto the word 'love', as if it were taboo in relationships. I mean, it's gotta come out at some point, no? Why make it a big deal, as if people didn't care about each other. I fall in love easily and don't make it a secret, and I don't get people who do. Must be an Anglo-American thing I guess...
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We Gringos always make things harder than they need to be.
Besides, we have all that Romantic Love baggage to lug around from the Renaissance on. It gets heavy, and makes us cranky.
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@Paranoid - He wasn't embarrassed. Obviously there was a cat on the stairs, and he's allergic. I mean, he said so plain as day :wink:
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Agreed. I don't think Angus was trying to put Faye on the spot, he's just used to being more open with his feelings than Faye is (even if he is embarrassed by it on occasion (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2004)). Of course in retrospect it was obviously a mistake, but it's done now, and it's not like none of the other characters lead perfect, mistake-free lives.
And it's a good thing, too, or this message board would be dead. :-D
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Meh, I've never understood that huge weight people put onto the word 'love', as if it were taboo in relationships. I mean, it's gotta come out at some point, no? Why make it a big deal, as if people didn't care about each other. I fall in love easily and don't make it a secret, and I don't get people who do. Must be an Anglo-American thing I guess...
Just because you hold it in longer than most other people doesn't mean you value it any more or less for yourself. I am talking about a common sense of consideration for how OTHER people might value that word.
(I myself haven't said it even ONCE in about two or three years... and I've never had a better relationship since :-D)
@Paranoid:
Agreed. I, too, don't think Angus MEANT to blurt it out like that. The moment seemed right for him no doubt. But it seems he failed to consider if the moment felt right for anyone else but him at that point.
(@Carl-E:
Quite the opposite. I found that granting the girl a little more freedom in a relationship than she's used to can be a very strong tool to keep her at your side. Worked for me so far. She's happy, I'm happy she's happy so I'm happy. And its a relaxed and trustful relationship. )
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Does Faye love Angus?
I don't think even she knows at this point.
I also don't think that Angus intended for it to be huge hairy deal, it was just the way he felt.
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I predict that she's gonna do a lot of soul searching for the few days that Angus is away
Then change her name and move to Alaska
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No - she'll move to California.
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And change her name to Eyaf Rekatihw.
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Yes Joanie loves Chachi.
That is the defining characteristic of Joanie and Chachi.
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You Americans and your stupid semi-incoherent cultural references! :-D
I maintain what I said about Angus. Anyone who drives another person into lonesome alcoholsome is not the good guy in any given scenario!
(Gotta resist the urge to shout this down a random podium...)
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WHAT? A person drives themselves into lonesome alcoholism. Maybe because they were wronged, but whatever the scenario it's because that person didn't like what they saw and chose to cope like an idiot.
I'd hate to know what you think of every other time this happened in the comic...
Adding: I think it's good that Angus is looking out for his own needs in this relationship. It would be very easy for someone to become the "oh, but she has issues..." doormat. Firstly, that doesn't help Faye out of her self-centred mindset (not as a criticism, but I find people who are grieving/depressed can get this way and it makes them sadder) and secondly, she'd probably be insulted if he treated her like crepe paper. Oh, and thirdly, it takes him out of his supportive/caring role and pulls him into her funk.
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Sorry, you need to change your name now.
That was awesome.
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Indeed it was. Although it should be added that it might have been too soon. We don't know how their relationship has progressed and how much actual time has flowed since they got together. At least I don't, huh huh.
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It is kinda obvious: no matter how long the relationship lasts, Faye is always going to fear that Angus is going to leave her. They could be old, grey, married 50+ years - and she'd still think he's going to leave and never come back.
Unfortunately, "Coping Mechanism" won't fix something like that.
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Is that like a plot prediction? Like, where you think Jeph is going with this?
Oh, and thanks gize :-D
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Nnnnnnnnn... No, not really.
I do think that as long as Angus and Faye are together, she's going to have that issue. Kinda like how Dora had that self-worth issue while she was going out with Marten.
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Oh noes, not another Dora/Marten!
Anyway, isn't it weird to project her daddy issues onto her partners? That seems quite Freudian and attached to the gender stereotype of "Man as the provider." I know Faye rejected Marten and had issues with Sven, but I thought that related to her generally unstable state, not to her father's suicide colouring her view of all men. (That's a question.)
This whole father vs. boyfriend thing is still making me go UNGGGGGHHHH. Like, obviously she's gonna have trust and abandonment issues, but I feel like those would come out with Marten, a stable, platonic confidant. If I were her I'd be more scared of losing the rock than the whirlwind.
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She's had abandonment issues with Marten: 309.
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I think the issues are concerned with love, and the loss of a loved one, not so much her father. She's taking the common reaction of self-insulation, and though she's gotten close to Marten (and had a hard time coping with that for quite a whie pre-Dr. Corinne), she absolutely freaked out over Sven, and that was more of a fuckbuddy situation (until Sven grew up a bit, and then she had to keep him at a distance).
But now, she doesn't have a good friend or a fuckbuddy (I really hate that word, and the idea behind it).
She's in love, and more importantly, she has a new loved one. I think that in her mind, loss is now just around the corner.
And if she's not careful, that expectation will be self-fulfilling, no matter how patient Angus is.
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It is kinda obvious: no matter how long the relationship lasts, Faye is always going to fear that Angus is going to leave her. They could be old, grey, married 50+ years - and she'd still think he's going to leave and never come back.
Unfortunately, "Coping Mechanism" won't fix something like that.
I'd say that with continuous therapy and support and getting used to having him around, there's a good chance she might get over that fear. Though I understand your point.
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One could hope that would be the case, the problem would be that at the first sign relationship trouble, Faye will accuse Angus of trying to leave her. Without a high degree of self realization on Faye's part, this could spiral downward very quickly. Good thing she's got lots of friends and a therapist who can help point it out when she starts sabotaging herself!
Angus needs to be in this for the long haul, and I think he is, considering his choice of words as he got on the train. The only way he'll be able to prove that he won't abandon her is through his actions, no matter how weird she gets. That's the kind of commitment that only comes with true love, and so I really hope he was both being sincere, and realized what he was saying. He may not realize all the implications, especially for Faye, but I think that if he means it, they can make it work.
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If I were writing a cheap sitcom whose name rhymes with "Trends" I would have Marten give Angus a Talk during a guys' night out. There'd be a speechabout how fear of abandonment is going to be an essential part of Faye's character, occasionally expressed in a "hurt them (or at least keep them at a distance) before they can hurt me" mode.
If I were writing a cheap sitcom.
I'd rather see how Jeph handles it.
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If I were writing a cheap sitcom whose name rhymes with "Trends" I would have Marten give Angus a Talk during a guys' night out. There'd be a speechabout how fear of abandonment is going to be an essential part of Faye's character, occasionally expressed in a "hurt them (or at least keep them at a distance) before they can hurt me" mode.
If I were writing a cheap sitcom.
I'd rather see how Jeph handles it.
If I were writing a cheap sitcom whose name rhymes with Trends, I'd make sure something would always happen to the guy and girl so they could be together at the sitcoms end. Something will happen that will end their relationship...it might not be tomorrow, or next month, or next year, but at sone point Faye will be single again. I'd be surprised if it doesn't.
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"I love you" means nothing in English.
You can love your new coat or that movie you just saw.
"I love you" doesn't mean anything. When I finally do get with someone, I have no plans to say it.
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FWIW, QCF: I get told by someone I love "I love you" every day.
Only thing is, she always says, "I love you MORE!" And that's when the arguing begins. ;)
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WHAT? A person drives themselves into lonesome alcoholism. Maybe because they were wronged, but whatever the scenario it's because that person didn't like what they saw and chose to cope like an idiot.
I'd hate to know what you think of every other time this happened in the comic...
Any other person and I would've agreed with you. But in this case, Faye certainly didn't wake up that morning thinking "Hm... I'm gonna go get drunk on British time today and ruin Marten's dance." ... Angus - in my eyes - is an inconsiderate buffoon (man, what is UP with me and my raging today?) for saying something serious liek that in a situation like that.
(I actually agree with questionablecontentfan about "I love you" sometimes meaning nothing at all... but in this case it "could" and thats the heavy part.)
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"I love you" means exactly what the speaker intends it to mean.
However, saying it with the expectation of the reflexive "I love you, too" in return can be tantamount to extortion.
Never say it without meaning it, and never expect anything in reply. But be ready to talk to the one you love... so try not to say it when you're climbing onto a train!
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Or when he's about to be frozen in carbonite.
He probably has other things on his mind at that moment, so that's a really bad time.
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If only Angus knew someone with a social protocol database.
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But be ready to talk to the one you love... so try not to say it when you're climbing onto a train!
YES! Thank you, man.
@akronnick:
Nice reference. And also, saying "I love you" while having a head full of other stuff to worry/think about is THE worst idea I can think of right now. oO
@Is it cold in here?:
He does. Oh wait, you probably know that.
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Yeah, I don't see that Angus did anything wrong here whatsoever.
No manipulation, no lying to himself or his partner, just casual emotional honesty here. There's no way we can reasonably expect him to anticipate all of Faye's insecurities, and in any case, trying to do so wouldn't help either of them in the long run.
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"I love you" means exactly what the speaker intends it to mean.
However, saying it with the expectation of the reflexive "I love you, too" in return can be tantamount to extortion.
Never say it without meaning it, and never expect anything in reply. But be ready to talk to the one you love... so try not to say it when you're climbing onto a train!
New times reflexes: These days it's "I know". 8-)
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I dunno man, that's just asking to get your ass frozen in carbonite...
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Any other person and I would've agreed with you. But in this case, Faye certainly didn't wake up that morning thinking "Hm... I'm gonna go get drunk on British time today and ruin Marten's dance." ... Angus - in my eyes - is an inconsiderate buffoon (man, what is UP with me and my raging today?) for saying something serious liek that in a situation like that.
(I actually agree with questionablecontentfan about "I love you" sometimes meaning nothing at all... but in this case it "could" and thats the heavy part.)
Uh... That's not what I meant at all. Anyway, I guess it comes down to what you think was going on in his head. It was probably a mistake, but I don't see why we need to assign blame. I mean, he just said he loves her, and he's proved a few times that he cares about Faye, so my guess is if Faye wants to resolve this he'll cooperate enthusiastically. I'll start getting angry when she communicates her needs and he dismisses them.
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"I love you" means nothing in English.
You can love your new coat or that movie you just saw.
"I love you" doesn't mean anything. When I finally do get with someone, I have no plans to say it.
There's also more than one way to feel about someone: http://xkcd.com/968/
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I think this also raises the question from "The Talk" she admits to having feelings for Marten. So to answer if Faye loves Angus also requires answering the question if Faye is over Marten. Unless you think she can love two people at once. But that doesn't seem like her MO.
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I think those feelings finally resolved into the love you have for a good friend (flower-pits). She doesn't need to be "over" Marten in that way in order to love Angus. You can (and usually do) hold more than one type of love in your heart for more than one person.
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- Storge - Affection/Fondness Love; Marten has this level of "love" for Tai in that he works with her at the library. It's also more or less the kind of "love" that Faye has for Raven.
- Phileo - Friendly Love; This is more like the level of "love" that Marten shares with Faye - that of a good friend and confidant. It's also the kind of "love" that Momo expresses to Marigold (and vice-versa).
- Eros – Romantic Love; This is more like what Angus and Faye are experiencing. Dora might argue that Sven ended up having this kind of love for Faye - while Sven would argue otherwise.
- Agape – Unconditional Love. This doesn't come up in this strip all that much. It's also the most difficult to express.