THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Comic Discussion => QUESTIONABLE CONTENT => Topic started by: iduguphergrave on 06 Jan 2013, 10:35
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Nice to be back to regular strips again. FIRST PANEL:
(http://i.imgur.com/lNcOZ.png) (http://imgur.com/lNcOZ)
ENJOY
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Marten: So...How's my latte?
Dora: It tastes like feet...and kind of fishy.
Faye: That's what he said...
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Marten: "Why does this espresso machine have a red button that says 'Launch'?"
Dora: "That's not 'Launch', that's 'Lunch'."
Faye: "As in: 'There's a new Starbuck's opening. I wonder if it's still there after lunch.'."
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MARTEN: So, are you and Tai doing it yet?
DORA: That is none of your business.
FAYE: That's odd... Your sex life with Marten was our business whether we liked it or not! (http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1669)
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Marten: "Are you sure?"
Dora: "For the last time, I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!"
Faye: "Explain the test-sticks in the bathroom with the "positive" sign then."
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Dora: "Are you sure?"
Marten: "For the last time, I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!"
Faye: "Explain the test-sticks in the bathroom with the "positive" sign then."
Amended that for ya.
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Marten: But you shouldn't let Tai spy on Claire while she was putting on her swimsuit...
Dora: I don't get it, why she's so upset? What's the big deal?
Faye: We will see it in the next chapter of QC.
(?)
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Dora: "Are you sure?"
Marten: "For the last time, I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!"
Faye: "Explain the test-sticks in the bathroom with the "positive" sign then."
Amended that for ya.
"Those must be Pintsize's."
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Marten: "Uh, nice neck beard."
Dora: "IT IS NOT A NECKBEARD IT IS A HEAT SINK."
Faye: "Wow. You need either more coffee or less, I'm not sure which."
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Dora: "Bitter, with a hint of sass and a distinct aftertaste of scorn..."
Marten: "That's amazing!"
Faye (to herself): "How could she know...?"
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Marten: "So why is it that I only attract women who have serious emotional issues that inevitably sabotage our relationship?"
Dora: "We're just using you to work through those issues so that we can move on to stable relationships with other people."
Faye: "I have no idea what she's talking about, Marten. I really don't."
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(continued from Zebediah's hard-to-beat entry:)
FAYE: "So you oughta hang out your shingle, Marty: 'Marten Reed, professional relationship practice.'"
MARTEN: "I dunno. Seems kinda cynical and commercia .. "
DORA: "Dammit why does EVERYONE HERE HATE MONEY?"
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MARTEN: What's that sword doing, stuck in the ceiling?
DORA: That's Faye's new installation piece. It is called "Reverse King Arthur".
FAYE: Whoever draws the sword will be King of Coffee!
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Marten: "Maybe the machine needs a professional beep booper."
Dora: "I can beep boop it fine on my own, thank you!"
Faye: "Boy, does someone need a good beep booping. Jeez."
(Maybe Dora just isn't getting the kind of beep booping she needs from Tai at the moment... who knows?)
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Yeah, they're taking it slow.
Beep, but no boop yet.
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Dora: "Are you sure?"
Marten: "For the last time, I'M NOT PREGNANT!!!"
Faye: "Explain the test-sticks in the bathroom with the "positive" sign then."
Amended that for ya.
A trivial fact: In some cases, a man getting positive on a pregnancy test may hint to testicular cancer. (http://www.forbes.com/sites/daviddisalvo/2012/11/10/how-a-pregnancy-test-told-a-man-that-he-has-testicular-cancer/)
Thank you for subscribing to "facts you did not want to know".
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Can I hit him? Or would I be summoning valhalla's wrath?
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Asgard's surely?
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Oops.
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And Loki's not real popular in Asgard ATM - something about him and a practical joke involving some mistletoe, Hodr and Balder.
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Marten: Beep?
Dora: <upside down hello kitty face>
Faye: Boop.
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Asgard's surely?
I didn't know Shirley's in Asgard. Tell her "Hi" from me.
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MARTEN: Really, worse than the one I made?
DORA: It's so bad I've gone blind.
FAYE: When I suggested a "Heavy Metal" mocha I meant the music, not actually dissolve lead in the frigging beverage.
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MARTEN: "No, it doesn't work that way on Earth. Just because you've closed your eyes and can't see me doesn't mean I can't see you."
DORA: "Shit. Well, what if I covered my eyes with a towel? And someone get me a donut from the pastry case."
FAYE: "Daft as a brush, but very very ravenous."
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Marten: Actually, with the right hormones...
Dora: NOT IN POLITE COMPANY, Marten!
Faye: Oh yeah, cause it's not like I've overheard THAT conversation before.
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Faye: "Are you calling me polite company?"
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Marten: Actually, with the right hormones...
Dora: NOT IN POLITE COMPANY, Marten!
Faye: Oh yeah, cause it's not like I've overheard THAT conversation before.
MEANWHILE on the other side of the looking-glass
MARTEN: I will NOT grow a pair for you!
DORA: Actually with the right hormones---
FAYE: Good God, not this conversation again...
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Marten's reluctance to "grow a pair" could be taken several ways...
anyhoo...SECOND PANEL:
(http://i.imgur.com/lssKX.png) (http://imgur.com/lssKX)
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Dale: "By the way, the pizza is poisoned...and the antidote is in my pants."
Hanners: "This is how I die?!"
Marigold: *contemplating*
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Dale: “No, seriously: these are my actual eyes.”
Hannelore: “AAAAAHH!”
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Dale: They give me X-Ray vision.
Hannelore: AAAAAHH!
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DALE: "And sometimes I rearrange the toppings so each slice has an odd number. Or in a Fibonacci sequence -- counterclockwise! I think it tastes better than clockwise. At least on Tuesdays. I also am looking into the possibility you can have complete memories of entire episodes of your life that never really happened. Like, say, living on or visiting a space station. Or you can have actual episodes in your life that you don't remember happening. We think that's what happens with Pizza Girl. She stuffs her costume, by the way. And did you know that if you ask, some pizza places will put a topping on one half of the pizza but not the other half?"
HANNELORE: (BSOD)
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DALE: "And sometimes I rearrange the toppings so each slice has an odd number. Or in a Fibonacci sequence -- counterclockwise! I think it tastes better than clockwise. At least on Tuesdays. I also am looking into the possibility you can have complete memories of entire episodes of your life that never really happened. Like, say, living on or visiting a space station. Or you can have actual episodes in your life that you don't remember happening. We think that's what happens with Pizza Girl. She stuffs her costume, by the way. And did you know that if you ask, some pizza places will put a topping on one half of the pizza but not the other half?"
HANNELORE: (BSOD)
I have long hair, an undercut, very blue eyes. Am about 1.7 meters tall, pale, wear mostly black and can be easily identified by my concentrated stare. If we should ever meet, prepare yourself for some serious leg humping.
(Also: *voice of Horus* "B'sod!")
DALE: "My powers are beyond your mortal imagination. For instance, my eyes can see straight through your clothes!"
HANNERS: "Aaaaah! Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow! Dishonor on .... "
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Dale: "I also work part-time as a hit man."
Hannelore: "Please tell me my mother has never hired you."
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I have long hair, an undercut, very blue eyes. Am about 1.7 meters tall, pale, wear mostly black and can be easily identified by my concentrated stare. If we should ever meet, prepare yourself for some serious leg humping.
Well, you sound like an improvement on my last leg-humper: Short, saggy, waddled when walking, snorted and snuffled all the time, had a severe underbite, floopy ears and patchy, brindle hair. Had to be taught to not shit on the carpet.
So, thanks. I think.
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Dale: "Could you clean my glasses for me? I ran into a flock of fireflies on my bicycle."
Hannelore: "Eww!"
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Canon.
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Dale: My glasses aren't supposed to glow!? Maybe we should call a physicist.
Hannelore: We called Francis, but when he saw the picture, he screamed something about Cerenkov radiation and hung up the phone.
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Dale: "So what do you do for a living, sweet-tits?"
Hannelore: "It's Hannelore, you cumbarge."
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Dale: It's like, with these... I can see. See some celestial event. No--no words. No words to describe it. Poetry! They should've sent a poet. So beautiful. So beautiful... I had no idea.
Hannelore: We do know a poet who lives nearby. He doesn't use and adjectives beflow 5-dollar ranking though
Marigold: *Momo's Holopony error was much more alarming*
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Hannelore: Seriously though, what makes your glasses do that all the time?!
Dale: It's the humidity.
(At the risk of beating a dead horse)
(Wait, was I seriously the first person to think of that? :P)
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Hannelore: Seriously though, what makes your glasses do that all the time?!
Dale: It's the opacity.
alt
Hannelore: Why do you guys keep beating a dead horse?!
Dale: It's the tenacity.
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Why did WAYF suddenly stop being jokingly exasperated, and join in with people who ran his one joke from a few weeks ago (http://forums.questionablecontent.net/index.php/topic,28496.msg1115399.html#msg1115399) into the ground?
It's the futility.
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Hannelore: Intensity? Clarity? Luminosity? Fulgidity?
Dale: Lucidity.
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Dale: "My glasses are a special bio-sensitive nanoparticle mix which fluoresces in the presence of pathogens."
Hannelore: "Ohmigodohmigodohmigod"
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DALE: Well I'm heavenly blessed and worldly wise, I'm a peeping-tom techie with x-ray eyes...
HAN'LOR: Well I'm glad you're doing alright and getting good grades.
Point if you know the song and artist without looking.
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DALE: "... And that's why this Apple iGlasses are better that the Ellicott-Chatham's model"
Hannelore: "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"
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Surely they're called iEyes though? :P
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Surely they're called iEyes though? :P
http://oddanimals.com/aye-aye/ Nah, that's what these are.
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HAN'LOR
This is now Hanners' Klingon name. "Qapla' Han'lor!"
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Surely they're called iEyes though? :P
iSee... :D
Dale: "It's pretty cool, actually. I mean, I'm levelling up my WoW character as we're talking."
Hannelore: "How do you control your character? No, wait... How do you actually see where you're walking while you're playing?
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How do you actually see where you're walking while you're playing?
He can't. That's why he occasionally runs into trashcans (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1771)
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Dale: "By the way Pizza Girl, I know that you're not the hero we want, but you are the hero that North Hampton deserves..."
Hanners: "?!?"
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DALE: Well I'm heavenly blessed and worldly wise, I'm a peeping-tom techie with x-ray eyes...
HAN'LOR: Well I'm glad you're doing alright and getting good grades.
Point if you know the song and artist without looking.
I got a point! Mule on cover.
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The future's so bright...
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iEyes Cap'n! If you see Cherenkov radiation in the air, make a will. Keep it short. Write quickly.
D: "Surely you didn't think a pair of glasses could absorb continuous, super-powered eye-beams without some sort of energy release?
H: "Arrgh! Don't take them off!"
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Dale: "Everytime I blink, my glasses switch around the hue of the colors I see. It's super cool. I think they were crafted from some asteroid from Jupiter."
Hanners: "My god. Your vision must be full of stars."
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Dale: "Everytime I blink, my glasses switch around the hue of the colors I see. It's super cool. I think they were crafted from some asteroid from Jupiter."
Hanners: "My god. Your vision must be full of stars."
DALE: Nah, just some monolithic vision-care corporation with franchises in every mall.
HANNERS: Gah! Pun! LEAVE NOW.
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There's a piece of Star Trek parody in which the Enterprise comes across a monolith. The crew observe that it is white, unlike all the black monoliths found near Earth.
Picard muses philosophically "It is difficult to understand why so advanced a race would resist monolithic integration."
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Wait...it that a pun on racial integration? Lol, space racists.
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DALE: ...and when I looked down there was glue everywhere. It was a rather *glasses go dark* sticky situation.
HAN'LOR: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=csi&play=true)
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Dale: "Everytime I blink, my glasses switch around the hue of the colors I see. It's super cool. I think they were crafted from some asteroid from Jupiter."
Hanners: "My god. Your vision must be full of stars."
Were you trying to reference 2001: A Space Odyssey?
Because A for effort, though it doesn't quite roll off the tongue if I'm honest.
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Dale: "Everytime I blink, my glasses switch around the hue of the colors I see. It's super cool. I think they were crafted from some asteroid from Jupiter."
Hanners: "My god. Your vision must be full of stars."
Were you trying to reference 2001: A Space Odyssey?
Because A for effort, though it doesn't quite roll off the tongue if I'm honest.
You have no idea how hard it was to make Dale get it across and still have it be grammatically acceptable at least. I am open to suggestions... oO
(I tried to find a better term for what goes on with the colors in the flight-through-space-time scene. But to no avail.)
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Dale: Open the Pizza Box, Hannelore.
Hannelore: I'm sorry Dale, I'm afraid I can't do that. I'll get grease all over my fingers.
... Nah. Too much of a stretch. :psyduck:
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Dale: Open the Pizza Box, Hannelore.
Hannelore: I'm sorry Dale, I'm afraid I can't do that. I'll get grease all over my fingers.
[ ... ]
Marigold: "What's in the box?! WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!"
... and on from there we go. :psyduck:
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DALE: "What do you think you are doing, Hannelore?"
HANNELORE: "Eating pizza! Duh!"
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Dale: "That slice of pizza has gone cold. I think I use my heat vision to heat it up."
Hannelore: "Be careful! It wouldn't be the first apartment to burn down in this building."
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Dale: "So, I said, I'll take care of the kid. I've already got permission from the brass. Hey, it's not like I'm going to put the moves on him ."
Hanners: "How could you even think of such a thing?"
Marigold: *trying not to spit-take*