THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: henri bemis on 24 Apr 2014, 06:25

Title: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 24 Apr 2014, 06:25
So, for those not familiar, Transmetropolitan is set in a cyberpunk/dystopian city.  All of the characters reside in The City, an enormous metropolis somewhere in the US, and the center of culture and politics.  The wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transmetropolitan) for it gives a pretty good overview, but it's not necessary to play the game (I'm taking serious liberties with the story anyway), but I do highly recommend the comic.  As does Sir Patrick Stewart - it's a favorite of his.  How can you not trust Jean-Luc?

Players:

1. Masterpiece - The Cat - Killed by villagers, day 2
2. Gareth
3. J - Channon Yarrow - killed by villagers, day 3
4. Method of Madness - Mitchell Royce - Killed by mafia, night 1
5. cesium133 - Spider Jerusalem - killed by mafia, night 4
6. Loki
7. ev4n
8. Game and Watch Forever - Yelena Rossini - killed by mafia, night 2
9. Linds - Fred Christ - killed by mafia, night 3

re-posting the cast for reference, it's just behind a spoiler to keep things less cluttered.
(click to show/hide)

Rules:
1. Though the theme of the game naturally lends itself to excessive swearing and debauchery, that doesn't mean you get to be a shithead to other players.  Keep your nasty in-character, non-personal, and light-hearted.  I don't actually expect this to be a problem, but figured it couldn't hurt to say.
2.  Days are 48 hours, nights are 24 hours. 
3.  During the day, post your votes in bold text.  If you change your vote, try to remember to edit the first one so they're easier to keep track of.  You can change your vote, or your night action (if you have one), as long as you do it before the cut-off time. 
If you don't vote or use your night action before the time is up, I'll assume you're abstaining.  If there's a tie in day votes, no one gets switchbladed.
4.  Posting in the game thread during the night is fine. 
5.  I'll reveal the roles of players as they're killed off.
6.  I'm starting with Day 0, because it sucks to be arbitrarily killed off before the game even starts.
7.  Dead scum only tell tales to dead scum, and only in private.  (so if you want to PM with a dead player about the game, that's fine.  Not that I could stop you, anyway, but it's cool).


Day 0

Free and fair elections - the cornerstone of American democracy!  Too bad that's bullshit - at least if you believe the columns of famed misanthropic journalist Spider Jerusalem.  According to him, your two presidential candidates - The Beast (incumbent), and The Smiler (challenger)- are both raging pieces of shit with slightly different flavors. 

The candidates have conspired to shut down the feedsites that publish Spider's columns, but the damage may already have been done.  As the candidates scramble to rehabilitate their images during these final days before the election, the people of The City are starting to finally rise up and demand the Truth.  And if the candidates can't kill off Spider and his known associates before election day, they might actually get it.

Spider himself has gone underground, but that doesn't mean he and his allies aren't still out there, undermining the candidates, inflaming the people with passion for justice and Truth (rather than venereal disease, for once).  They're pissed that they can't find him, and some support him only begrudgingly, but that doesn't mean they'll stop fighting the corruption of the election.

48 hours to post, vote, or abstain.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 24 Apr 2014, 08:38
alright fuckers, lets get this fuck'n thing going.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 24 Apr 2014, 09:24
"YEAH LET'S FUCKING DO THIS!

and what is that exactly?

CAUSE I'D IT'S TO BASH ALL YOU'S FACES IN I'M SO UP FOR IT!

and then we'll cuddle afterwards."
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 24 Apr 2014, 09:34
I came here when I heard there was an erection going on! Wait, it's an election? Oh. Well fuck it then, I'll just get some smokes and booze and be on my way.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: ev4n on 24 Apr 2014, 10:39
Hmm I'm going to be so out of character, I guess.

Not familiar with the background material, and not so much on cussing.

Definitely in favour of elections and regime changes.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 24 Apr 2014, 10:39
"dammit I mistyped,

I WAS GONNA SAY IF IT'S TO BASH ALL YOU'S FACES NOT THAT OTHER STUFF

stupid autocorrect."
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 24 Apr 2014, 10:43
Fuckin' voting, man. We should just get rid of it.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 24 Apr 2014, 10:45
"I vote to get physical with all of you.

BECAUSE WE CAN"
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 24 Apr 2014, 10:46
That's what they want, man! I'm not giving up my right to vote!

I just have the right to not go if I want.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 24 Apr 2014, 11:09
I vote fuck voting.

*lights cigarette*
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 24 Apr 2014, 11:57
"Gimme one of those."

Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 24 Apr 2014, 14:15
Show some manners kiddo. I'll let you have this one. But next time, I expect a please or a gun in my face.

*hands Masterpiece a cigarette*
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 24 Apr 2014, 14:26
"I'll be more than happy to shove a gun in your face if you wish.

MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE ASKED FOR TWO CIGARETTES.

Thanks, Gareth."
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 24 Apr 2014, 14:44
Gun in my face won't help you much when I have a gun at your dick.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 24 Apr 2014, 15:39
have you weird looking fucks been snorting data-pollen or something?
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 24 Apr 2014, 15:41
Eh, data-pollen isn't that good at getting you fucked up.

I mean, not that I'd know...
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 24 Apr 2014, 15:53
I've had better, but I'm over that crap now. Or I was, at least.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 24 Apr 2014, 16:05
"I'd need to have a dick for that, CUNT"

*Lights the cigarettes and relieves himself in front of everyone*

"aah, that had to be done. These cigarettes taste like crap.

I'LL STILL SMOKE UP ALL YOUR SMOKES"
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Method of Madness on 24 Apr 2014, 16:45
I have no fucking idea who anyone is, but apparently there's a spider. I should step on it.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Game and Watch Forever on 24 Apr 2014, 18:21
I think that guy already pissed on it. Stepping on it would put it out of his misery.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Method of Madness on 24 Apr 2014, 19:32
I'm nothing if not merciful.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 24 Apr 2014, 19:48
*sniff* Oh God, what's that smell?
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 24 Apr 2014, 20:08
probably the dried platypus semen you've been snorting.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 24 Apr 2014, 20:09
Hmm... oh, right. Forgot about that.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 24 Apr 2014, 20:19
data-pollen'll do that to ya.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Game and Watch Forever on 24 Apr 2014, 21:47
Guys... guys... I must be REALLY high right now. I can READ everything we're saying...
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 24 Apr 2014, 23:00
Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 25 Apr 2014, 00:45
"I believe you have a cigarette to lend me."

*snuggles up to Loki*
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 25 Apr 2014, 03:16
The message Hollywood needs to send out is 'Smoking Is Cool!'
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: ev4n on 25 Apr 2014, 06:41
I take it then I'm the only one not familiar with the subject matter?
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 25 Apr 2014, 06:45
Nah, I'm just making shit up as I go along.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 25 Apr 2014, 07:13
Hell's waking up every goddamn day and not even knowing why you're here.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 25 Apr 2014, 07:14
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 25 Apr 2014, 09:12
Does anybody know why we're here?
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 25 Apr 2014, 09:50
no, but i had some fuckers in robes come by my place the other night who claimed to. said they'd tell me all about it if i could just spare five minutes of my time. instead, i kicked them both in the balls.

or at least i tried to. as it turns out, they were from the Eternal Church of the Massocastrati and had renounced their earthly testicles in honor of St. Flanagan The Massochist.

things got a little awkward after that.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 25 Apr 2014, 10:01
"LOKI WHERE'S MY CIGARETTE"
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 25 Apr 2014, 11:57
 :mrgreen:

There's a bit less than 24 hours left until the first Night.  If someone's gettin' the switchblade (lynched), you better get votes in!  Or you can all just keep playing nice...ish.

Your filthy moderator is highly amused either way.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 26 Apr 2014, 01:57
"LOKI WHERE'S MY CIGARETTE"

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 26 Apr 2014, 12:21
As The City grew dark, the scum were all too preoccupied with their own drugs and genitals to worry about what devious, miserable shit the candidates might be planning behind their backs.  And fair enough - it's not like they've murdered anyone.  lately.

Night 1

Candidates, PM me the name of the player you choose to whack.  You have 24 hours to secretly discuss it among yourselves before sending me your answers.

Filthy Assistants, 24 hours to PM me what your night action will be.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 27 Apr 2014, 11:24
24 hours is almost up, and I'm still waiting on a PM, so I'll give it a few more hours, then post  :-).
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 27 Apr 2014, 12:48
Despite the government-imposed media shutdown, Mitchell Royce, chief editor at the Word (one of The City's major newspapers), has his employees scrambling to track down leads that could confirm the accusations in Spider's past columns (Did The Smiler really murder his wife and children, then make it look like an accident, in order to gain political sympathy?  Did The Beast really shit himself when he met with Spider, and does he really like to fuck people in the gall bladder - or does he only kind of like it?)  With solid proof, he might be able to find a cop decent enough to actually arrest the fuckers.

Alone in his office, he kicks his feet up on the desk and sighs, once again wondering if he's getting too old for this hard-hitting journalistic integrity shit.  It's dangerous to publish columns calling two of the most powerful men in the City "vicious cunts," and without any new leads, there's nothing much he can do.

He pours himself a shot of whiskey.  Just as he knocks his head back and swallows, he feels a cold, thin wire suddenly wrap around his throat from behind.

He hears a whisper in his ear - "Sorry, pal.  Gotta send a message.  You're in the communications business - I'm sure you understand."

He struggles, but it's no use.  The whiskey warms his stomach, and his vision goes black as the wire tightens against his neck.

Method of Madness
, an innocent newspaper editor, is dead.  His intern finds his body the next day, and word quickly spreads to Spider's other associates.

Day 1

48 hours  for everyone to vote
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 27 Apr 2014, 14:01
Who will look after that child? The angels? God? Satan? Emptiness? No, emptiness, milord!
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 27 Apr 2014, 14:25
What the fuck are you even talking about? Religion is dead, man. Believe me, tried it once. It ended badly...

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 27 Apr 2014, 14:26
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 27 Apr 2014, 14:32
Well... Tried telling you guys we couldn't trust those fuckers, but did anyone listen? No... I just got called an "activist" or a "terrorist" or some other shit. You all were too busy licking your buttholes to do anything. Now an innocent newspaper editor is dead. Fucking pieces of shit.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 27 Apr 2014, 14:36
What the duck are you even talking about? Religion is dead, man. Believe me, tried it once. It ended badly...
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 27 Apr 2014, 14:39
The thought of the newspaper editors being bumped off scares the shit out of me. Time was journalists were the biggest scumbags in town but now we can't trust anyone else.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 27 Apr 2014, 14:40
Which is why I asked. You were talking about angels and shit, which don't exist. Guns do. I am a very firm believer in guns. But God and angels? Pfft. Only as a money source from the weak minded.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 27 Apr 2014, 14:42
Goddamn, I don't believe in anything except nicotine these days. Well, nicotine and the papers, but I guess now that's fucked.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 27 Apr 2014, 14:58
Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything left to fear anymore. You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power, hiding behind your false idol, far from judgment, lives shrouded in secrecy even from one another. But not from God.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 27 Apr 2014, 15:02
You kidding me? I'm afraid of every closed door, and if Method's dead, that means I'm fucking afraid of every last one of you fuckers.

But then a cornered animal is something to fear in itself.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 27 Apr 2014, 15:49
Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything left to fear anymore. You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power, hiding behind your false idol, far from judgment, lives shrouded in secrecy even from one another. But not from God.

yeah, the beast used to talk about how fear kept people in line as well.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 27 Apr 2014, 18:57
Fear and God? Now you're just making me suspicious.

Vote Loki.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 27 Apr 2014, 19:03
"I believe you have a cigarette to lend me."

*snuggles up to Loki*

"I'd need to have a dick for that, CUNT"

*Lights the cigarettes and relieves himself in front of everyone*

"aah, that had to be done. These cigarettes taste like crap.

I'LL STILL SMOKE UP ALL YOUR SMOKES"

Goddamn, I don't believe in anything except nicotine these days. Well, nicotine and the papers, but I guess now that's fucked.

But then a cornered animal is something to fear in itself.

So... ahem... just a thought... we have two people throwing hints that they're The Cat. Obviously they can't both be him...
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 27 Apr 2014, 22:48
"Damn right, I'm the baddest cast in the city.

STILL WAITING ON MY CIGARETTES YOU DICKS"
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: ev4n on 28 Apr 2014, 04:58
I'm glad Loki's post raised more eyebrows than just my own.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 28 Apr 2014, 05:39
Vote Masterpiece.

I gave you a fucking cigarette.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Game and Watch Forever on 28 Apr 2014, 06:41
So... ahem... just a thought... we have two people throwing hints that they're The Cat. Obviously they can't both be him...

We're all The Cat. At least a little bit... on the inside. One of us is just way more than the others. Those times you want to lick yourself inappropriately? That's the cat. Those times you feel like tripping someone down stairs and hope they die? That's the cat. Those times you want to cough up hairballs? That's the cat. Those times you want to throw your own feces at others? That's just you being a sick fuck.

Also, I don't think being a God freak makes a murderer. Just crazy. Despite my hesitance, cesium may be on to something... or he's just full of it.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 28 Apr 2014, 07:36
I'm always full of it.

I'd embrace the spirit of The Cat by licking my asshole right now, but honestly my asshole tastes pretty bad.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 28 Apr 2014, 09:17
"WELL GARETH OBVIOUSLY I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!

I have no reason to die, yet Gareth obviously wants me dead.

 Obviously, I vote Gareth.

DIE MOTHERFUCKER"
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 28 Apr 2014, 22:52
Vote to fuck Loki with switchblades.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: ev4n on 29 Apr 2014, 05:05
Vote Loki
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 29 Apr 2014, 05:19
I don't really trust any of you, but I think I trust Masterpiece the least, so...

Vote Masterpiece
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 29 Apr 2014, 05:22
"Y'all can go fuck yourselves.

WITH A FRIGGIN FORK"
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 29 Apr 2014, 07:26
I'm not gonna win this game if I cannot play it my way.


*sigh* It seems noone appreciates a good movie quote nowadays. So I am gonna continue this with gloves off now.

Vote ev4n.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Game and Watch Forever on 29 Apr 2014, 10:38
Yeah... something's not right here.

I don't think really think Loki or Masterpiece are at fault here (yet), so let's try to (probably unsuccessfully) even the scales:

vote Masterpiece
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 29 Apr 2014, 13:33
(I just want to let you guys know that my computer did something wonky last night [the keyboard stopped working, and then it just wouldn't turn on].  It seems fine now, but if I disappear for a few days it's because my computer is on drugs and I had to take it in to get fixed).

24 hours(ish) left.  so far, the count is:

Loki - Linds, J, ev4n
Masterpiece - Gareth, cesium133, Game and Watch Forever
Gareth - Masterpiece
ev4n - Loki

Remember - if there's a tie, no one dies.  There's still time to change your vote, if you want (don't have to, of course).
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Game and Watch Forever on 29 Apr 2014, 13:49
Wait, what? Hasn't it already been 48 hours or am I actually on drugs?   :psyduck: Ahhhhh...
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 29 Apr 2014, 13:58
AHH, you're right!   :psyduck:  I'll post soon.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 29 Apr 2014, 14:10
Accusations fly wildly throughout the day, and though Masterpiece and Loki are the main suspects, attempts to swing the vote one way or the other have failed.  Royce is dead, but no one has enough evidence to determine who might have done it, and everyone lives to see another night.  If ever there was a time to pray...
Night 2

24 hours for night actions.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 29 Apr 2014, 14:34
"Loki I want it to be said that I could have gotten you killed by changing my vote, and that I chose not to do so. I appreciate you not doing the same.

Having said that WHERE ARE MY GODDAMN CIGARETTES?!"
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 29 Apr 2014, 14:59
GO FUCKING BUY SOME ALREADY! Jeeze. Nobody likes a chronic cigarette bum.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 29 Apr 2014, 16:22
Masterpiece, I've killed men over less. I've tried to have you killed over exactly this. But again, I could also have killed Loki by changing my vote to him from you.

But I didn't.

Because Loki buys his own. Fucking. Cigarettes.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 29 Apr 2014, 17:21
Masterpiece, I've killed men over less.
"Well there you have your murderer, pissheads."

*relieves himself and goes to sleep*
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Game and Watch Forever on 29 Apr 2014, 19:08
"Loki I want it to be said that I could have gotten you killed by changing my vote.

But again, I could also have killed Loki by changing my vote to him from you.

Can someone explain to me wtf he did to piss you all off?  :? I actively look for reasons to lynch him on principle and can't find any! Sadly, this seems to be a bizarro world where I actually think he's on to something.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Game and Watch Forever on 29 Apr 2014, 19:27
Note: I'd question why the Masterpiece hate... but I think the streets can only hold so much pee... I can understand wanting to give them time to drain.  :meh:
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 30 Apr 2014, 00:44
I have nothing against Loki, I was merely making a point to Masterpiece so he knows his place.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 30 Apr 2014, 06:15
Can someone explain to me wtf he did to piss you all off?  :? I actively look for reasons to lynch him on principle and can't find any!

For the first time ever, you and I are in total agreement.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 30 Apr 2014, 07:36
"Well I'm certain I won't survive the night."
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 30 Apr 2014, 07:38
I'd be surprised if any of us do.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 30 Apr 2014, 08:17
Every night I'm convinced those fuckers are going to get me.

"Can't sleep; clowns'll eat me"
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 30 Apr 2014, 19:30
You can't take a piss in The City without splashing on someone's dirty secret - most of the junkies, freaks, and brainless babies don't even bother to try to hide their hobbies, especially after dark.  That can make life difficult for an investigative journalist, but no one could ever accuse Yelena Rossini of being bad at her job.

She's found a credible lead - a woman who swears she saw The Beast try to fuck someone with a switchblade.  He wasn't successful, but she has photo evidence of the attempted murder.  Indeed, she's found the identity of The Beast.

Knowing her life is in jeopardy, especially with this new information, Rossini rushes to find a safe place to upload her findings.  The main feedsites are down, but surely there's someone who can work around them. 

But in the darkness and chaos of the streets, no one seems to notice when she's shot through the chest, or when a figure in dark clothing searches her body, stealing and destroying the evidence she'd found.

Game and Watch Forever, the investigator, is dead.

Day 2

48 hours for votes.


Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 30 Apr 2014, 19:36
Well that's just fucking great.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 30 Apr 2014, 21:57
"Well, looks like I'm alive after all."

* rummages through Game and Watch's stuff *

"and would you look at that!"

* pulls out his cigarettes *

"Christmas came early!"

* smokes *
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 01 May 2014, 00:01
Well thank Christ you're so fucking sympathetic.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: ev4n on 01 May 2014, 05:27
Am I reading this right, or was all that just flavour text?  GaWF was the investigator, had found the beast, and voted Masterpiece?
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 01 May 2014, 05:49
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 01 May 2014, 08:38
If I die, I don't recommend you rummage through my stuff. Especially the box under the bed labeled "Totally not my porn stash".

So yeah, I still don't trust Masterpiece...

Vote Masterpiece
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 01 May 2014, 10:42
Vote Masterpiece. Obviously.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 01 May 2014, 10:48
Other thoughts on the game: Game and Watch Forever defended Loki yesterday. Most likely he investigated Loki the first night and he turned out to be innocent. Thus we may want to take a look at who voted to lynch Loki.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 01 May 2014, 12:13
"Yeah let's all vote Masterpiece. That'll make it easier for the rest of you to find the true Killer here."

* puffs the cigarette *

"OF COURSE THAT SHIT HEAD GARETH WILL TRY TO CONVINCE YOU THAT I'M PLAYING TRICKS AND AM DOING THIS TO FOOL YOU, CAUSE YOU KNOW, DYING WILL BE SUCH AN EFFECTIVE METHOD OF FOOLING YOU, HELPS ME SO MUCH IN THE END"
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 01 May 2014, 16:41
"Yeah let's all vote Masterpiece. That'll make it easier for the rest of you to find the true Killer here."

you do make a convincing argument there, so I'm with you. Vote Masterpiece.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 01 May 2014, 18:26
Agreed. Vote Masterpiece. I mean, cigarettes are cool and all, but rifling through the pockets of a dead guy for them is not. Only a killer would do that, I think.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 01 May 2014, 23:13
"YOU'RE ALL SUCH IDIOTS"
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: ev4n on 02 May 2014, 05:16
Yeah.

vote Masterpiece
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 02 May 2014, 18:22
Masterpiece - cesium133, Gareth, Masterpiece, J, Linds, ev4n


The New Scum don't take kindly to the murder of their own - at least now.  Yeah, Mitchell Royce was kind of a bastard, but Yelena?  You don't fuck with Yelena and get away with it.

Unfortunately, today, they're all too angry (and possibly high) to notice that they're being played.

The Cat takes it in stride, though - she was bored of eating lizards anyway, and everyone she knows is way too fucking stingy with their cigarettes.  She's ready to shit on the other end of the great proverbial litter box.

But she doesn't go out without a hearty laugh as you great fucking dumbasses swarm and kill her.  She licks the last bit of lizard blood off her nose and thinks see you soon, dickheads!

Masterpiece is dead.  He was The Cat.

Night 3

Get yer night actions in!  24 hours.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 02 May 2014, 18:46
Shit. Gareth must've been the one that was lying. I'm bad at this.  :psyduck:
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 02 May 2014, 19:15
Hmm. Maybe bandwagons are actually a bad thing sometimes.

Or at least when they're not profitable...
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 04 May 2014, 04:25
anyone feel like going to Long Pig for dinner?
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 04 May 2014, 16:52
Fred Christ, half-alien love messiah, lounges in the headquarters of his Church of Christ, being 'tended' to by several of his Brides of Christ.  With the success of his cult, the devout loyalty of his followers, and the substantial bankroll of The Smiler, he feels happier than a pig in well-seasoned shit, and powerful - powerful enough to do anything he wants.

So powerful, in fact, that he's thinking of ditching his loose alliance with The Smiler.  Why should that dicksmear get all the credit for the hard work Fred has done staging riots at The Smiler's behest?

He knows enough secrets to bury both the candidates, and he thinks it's time to put them to good use.  He knows Spider isn't wrong about these guys, and with the election so close, he's no longer sure he wants either of them in actual power.  Fuck, if he helps bring them down, maybe he could be elected President!

But the candidates have ears everywhere, and his Brides may not be so devout, after all.  Fred finishes, and shoos his Brides away.  Then he falls into the deep, contented sleep of a raging megalomaniac, visions of the entire City licking his boots and groveling for his favor.

Not an hour later, one of his Brides sneaks back in, a dark cloak covering her usual habit.  He's grinning in his sleep just before she drives a long serrated knife into his chest, twists, then disappears back into the night.  He didn't even have time to call out.  At least he died happy.

Linds, the not-exactly-innocent (but definitely not mafia) Fred Christ, cult leader, is dead.

Day 3

48 hours for votes.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 05 May 2014, 08:40
*crickets*

I guess if The Cat were still alive, he'd eat those crickets.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 05 May 2014, 20:37
if you don't find a bad guy today, your chances of beating the mafia aren't looking so great.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 05 May 2014, 20:39
True. Well, I was suspicious of Masterpiece and Gareth, but Masterpiece turned out to be innocent, so...

Vote Gareth
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 06 May 2014, 04:06
yeah, what the hell, i'll vote gareth too.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 06 May 2014, 04:07
So we're voting for me just because I voted for Masterpiece?

Even though everyone voted for Masterpiece?

You hypocritical bastards.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 06 May 2014, 06:03
Thinking about it some more, I remember being a bit suspicious back when J yelled "FUCK" 1000 times upon the first death.

Cancel my vote for Gareth
Vote J
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: ev4n on 06 May 2014, 06:31
2. Gareth
3. J
5. cesium133
6. Loki
7. ev4n

I think our 24 hours are nearly up.

I'm kind of leaning Loki but since a tie is useless

Vote J
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 06 May 2014, 08:00
I also vote J for survival if nothing else.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 06 May 2014, 22:18
well, fuck.

you'll all regret this.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 06 May 2014, 23:09
Personally I have gut feeling we should nick Gaz or cesium. I know I am harmless (and have nothing useful to contribute whatsoever), and I feel so is ev4n, and I don't know about J.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 07 May 2014, 18:29
J - Gareth, ev4n, cesium133
Gareth - J
uncedided - Loki

It's not easy to get the drop on Channon Yarrow - she knows her business, and she's fucking good at it.  She's been scrambling around the City trying to protect you all, and though she may not have always been on time, she put in a better effort than any of you useless hemorrhoids.

Despite her protests, the Scum close in - surely, she must be an agent of the candidates!  Right?!  Right?  Uh... right?

Luckily, she managed to swipe Spider's bowel disruptor before he went AWOL.  Unluckily, she failed to set it to "fatal intestinal maelstrom", so while she gets a few shots off, none are able to stop the lynch mob.  By the time the crowd's frenzy has worn off, and you realize what you've done, it's too late.  Channon is trussed up outside the City capitol like a thanksfucking turkey, and the Beast and The Smiler are about to high-five a job well done.

J, aka Channon Yarrow, aka YOUR FUCKING PROTECTOR, is dead.  And you all have mild diarrhea.

The Final Night

Night actions, 24 hours.  Remember, candidates - Spider is still alive, and if you don't kill him tonight, the Scum still win.  Your target will determine the outcome of the game.  No pressure, and happy hunting!
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 07 May 2014, 18:57
Welp, we're boned. Knew I shouldn't have changed my vote...
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 07 May 2014, 22:14
Fuck this. I am tired of all this shit. This city does not deserve anything.  The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"

... and I'll look down and whisper

"No."
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 07 May 2014, 23:09
I'd say 'you've got the wrong game, son!', but actually... it's pretty fitting.  Spider v. Rorschach, 2014.  They both live, everyone else dies, but who gives a crap, really?  Certainly not them.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 07 May 2014, 23:17
An old Spider dies. A
young cop lives. Fair trade. (http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0401792/quotes?qt=qt0363981)
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 09 May 2014, 23:12
*whistles*
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 09 May 2014, 23:36
I'm sorry, I'm working on the final scene but had some really not fun times the other day and I'm just working shit out.  Also, I've only received a PM from one of the evil fuckers in this game!  So I needed the extra time, and figured I'd give everyone else some extra time.  I'm sorry, and I will have a new post up within the day.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 09 May 2014, 23:38
It's alright. I don't mind having extra time on this goddamn floating piece of rock, wretched as it may be.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 10 May 2014, 18:09
Things aren't looking so great, so after one last bender in the City, Spider wakes up in an alley with a splitting headache, and his face covered in dried vomit - not all of it his own.  With both his filthy assistants dead, along with most of the people he thought he could count on in the City, he's giving up.  Heading back to the country.  Fuck this city.  The Beast or The Smiler, whoever wins, the wretched fucks deserve him. 

He wants to get the stink of bile off him, but the only liquid handy is the half-empty bottle of Smegma Vodka he didn't finish before he passed out, so he dumps it over his head, rubbing away the chunks.

Feeling slightly refreshed, and about to get moving, he hears a beep from his glasses - Lau Qi, co-founder of The Hole (the underground feedsite Spider had planned to use to expose the candidates once and for all) appears on the lens, looking excited.
"Spider, we're back online!  I hacked through government's shutdown, and we can finally go public!."  When she notices the defeated look in his eyes, her smile drops.  "You... you did find something, right?"

"Yup.  I found out we're fucked.  I know you've been out of the loop, but everyone's dead - except Detective Newton - you've already got everything I know, and it's up to her if she wants to go on a suicide mission.  I'm leaving."

He kills the call and starts to head out of the alley when he notices a kid - a filthy girl dressed in rags, no more than 10 or 11, standing at the entrance.  She looks a bit scared as she twists her hands behind her back.

"Hey, mister!  I can't find my dad!  Can you help me?"

I don't have time for this shit.  I've got to get out of the City.  But he approaches her anyway, hoping to get rid of her quickly.  When he's close, she pulls a hammer from behind her back and swings it up, hard, straight into his balls.

Spider collapses as The Beast steps up behind her and hands her a giant lollipop.  "Good work, kiddo!  I'll take it from here."  The child skips away, licking at her candy.

"You thought I could let you leave?  No.  Every breath you take is a threat to me.  Goodbye, Spider."  He wraps his meaty hands around Spider's neck and squeezes.  This is personal.

Spider is dead.  The Beast mounts his head in his office, and The Smiler donates his body to the CPD cafeteria.

The Mafia/Candidates win!

Of course, only one of them can be president... one can only hope they end up killing each other.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 10 May 2014, 19:57
Dang it, I knew Loki was a bad guy!
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 10 May 2014, 22:20
Dammit!
I'm not. I am  in fact the only honest character in the game!
Malandra Newton, "the only honest cop in the city". Which is a bit ironic.

I was trying to sacrifice myself at the end, hoping they'd think I am the Spider and come for me :(

Vote motherfucking ev4n, by the way.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 10 May 2014, 22:32
Yeah, you're not just the only honest cop in the city, but probably the most decent person in the game.  If you want to stay that way, though, you should probably avoid the precinct cafeteria for awhile...

The game is technically over, but if all you dead motherfuckers want to come back and vote for president (it IS election day), I'll write an epilogue for the winner.  The Beast, or The Smiler?  ev4n or Gareth?  I'm not telling who is who, though they're welcome to campaign.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 11 May 2014, 00:26
How did you guys not lynch me? Seriously now.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Loki on 11 May 2014, 00:28
Well spoken Gareth. The crowds are practically now bustling with excitement to elect you for president.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: henri bemis on 11 May 2014, 00:34
They almost did lynch you - you're just that good.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Lines on 11 May 2014, 06:01
Dammit!
I'm not. I am  in fact the only honest character in the game!
Malandra Newton, "the only honest cop in the city". Which is a bit ironic.

I was trying to sacrifice myself at the end, hoping they'd think I am the Spider and come for me :(

Vote motherfucking ev4n, by the way.

Ah. When I looked at the list, your name didn't have a character named next to it, so I assumed you were mafia.

But all those quotes talking about religion made me suspicious, because I thought you were trying to play as my character. I didn't recognize any quotes until you use the one from watchmen.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: cesium133 on 11 May 2014, 07:46
After I got Masterpiece killed, I realized I had completely screwed up, and tried to win the game by killing off all the Scum except myself. Clearly it didn't work...
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Masterpiece on 11 May 2014, 08:51
Told you it was Gareth
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 11 May 2014, 08:52
*grin*
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: J on 11 May 2014, 12:14
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Method of Madness on 11 May 2014, 13:21
Gareth for President, and I know for a fact that he killed me. (He told me so right after it happened)
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Thrillho on 11 May 2014, 13:31
Dead men don't vote.

Unless it's for me, while I'm committing electoral fraud.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: Method of Madness on 11 May 2014, 13:32
Gareth F. Kennedy aka Gareth Terwilliger.
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: ev4n on 12 May 2014, 06:56
Vote motherfucking ev4n, by the way.

O hai there!  How r u?
Title: Re: Mafia Game Thread - Transmetropolitan
Post by: de_la_Nae on 13 May 2014, 18:58
I heart all you miserable bastards.

Or was it I eat your hearts?

Spleens maybe?

Fuck, I've gotta stop these Long Pig binges.