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Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: Pilchard123 on 04 May 2014, 11:15

Title: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: Pilchard123 on 04 May 2014, 11:15
Less serious than the one in DISCUSS, how about collecting favourite headlines and news snippets - real or made up - in here? I'll start with one from the Two Ronnies.

Later tonight, new details of the London bullion robbery. At Wandsworth police station, a man who's as deaf as a post and doesn't speak English, with a terrible stutter, bad breath and squeaky shoes is not helping police with their enquiries one bit.
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: Redball on 04 May 2014, 13:15
In 1962, this headline and subhead in the Battle Creek (MI) Enquirer and News seemed hilarious:

Girl Scout
cookie sale
to begin

1,900 youngsters
to peddle boxes


And a decade later, on a back page in the Daily Tribune of Royal Oak (MI):

Senator beats off, fingers assailants
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: Loki on 04 May 2014, 15:15
The fact that both threads have the same title in the "view unrecent posts" tab confused me to no end, so I took the liberty to distiguish it.
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: Zebediah on 04 May 2014, 15:32
A very recent headline that my wife saw - the writer must have been VERY proud of this one:

SILVER POUNDS STERLING
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: Detachable Felix on 04 May 2014, 17:49
Old news, but important:
(http://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/margate-seagull-thief.jpg)
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: GarandMarine on 05 May 2014, 06:38
(https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/t1.0-9/s526x395/10339589_315402671943674_1670676311166104436_n.jpg)

Please let this be real <3
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: Thrillho on 05 May 2014, 12:39
The fact that both threads have the same title in the "view unrecent posts" tab confused me to no end, so I took the liberty to distiguish it.

Slight snag. You were looking for lighthearted and you found lightheaded. Unless this is a thread about news stories that are only relevant to people who just stood up too fast.

Also, I'm not sure if this counts as actually lighthearted as it involves an actual death, but I saw the 'Gordon Ramsay sex dwarf eaten by badger' headline on the paper it came out on, and tweeted a photo of it. It was promptly ignored before going viral a couple of years later which kinda pissed me off a little.

Another good one - 'Radioactive paedo on the run.'
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: Barmymoo on 05 May 2014, 12:41
You know, I have been thinking since the subject line was changed that there was something off about it but couldn't work out what - my brain was reading "lighthearted" even though my eyes knew better.
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: cesium133 on 05 May 2014, 12:43
Wait, it wasn't reading that? I'm pretty sure it was "lighthearted" until you pointed that out.  :psyduck:
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: Loki on 05 May 2014, 12:45
:D you people.
It's a pun on "headlines".
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: Zebediah on 06 May 2014, 08:06
(https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/t1.0-9/s526x395/10339589_315402671943674_1670676311166104436_n.jpg)

Please let this be real <3

Completely real. The original story (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1416262/Court-refuses-trial-by-combat.html) is still on The Telegraph's website.

He even offered the court's champion a choice of weapons: "samurai swords, Ghurka knives or heavy hammers." Sporting of him.
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: GarandMarine on 06 May 2014, 09:15
I think Mr. Humphreys might be my hero.
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: GarandMarine on 06 May 2014, 11:55
https://www.abiresearch.com/press/q1-2014-smartphone-os-results-android-dominates-hi
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: Patrick on 09 May 2014, 02:51
relevant to this thread's interests: www.reddit.com/r/nottheonion
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: GarandMarine on 09 May 2014, 08:08
http://imgur.com/gallery/VF7mD
Title: Re: The (lightheaded) Headlines Thread
Post by: LTK on 09 May 2014, 09:17
A headline fresh from the pointless thread! :mrgreen: