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Fun Stuff => BAND => Topic started by: LiterSize on 05 Feb 2005, 06:51
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Ok, at the risk of another "list" or "name your _____" thread.....
Some of the wackiest lyrics you've ever heard? I offer to nominate....
"Your hair is eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeverywheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere screaming infidelities...." - Dashboard Confessional (for those that don't know)
Anyway, discuss!
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~i think ov sharp things in the mourning~
-Spahn Ranch
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Monty Python's Penis song....
Or Eric the Half a Bee
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Stephen Malkmus-The Hook
"At age 19 I was kidnapped by turkish pirates/mediterranean thugs/after some torture they considered me their mascot..
there is no time to pray and there is no time beg/and then its off with an arm or its off with a leg/and if I spare your life/its because it tires me.."
fantastic song!
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Q And Not U - "Y Plus White Girls"
since we breathe clock and telephone,
basement fires keep us so alive.
with confetti on the escalator steps, get set.
phone calls.
clock and tv sets.
sense-sex.
type and file.
i'm not paid enough to understand
that this position was always in demand.
the boys throw the girls into the pool.
so the girls throw the boys into the pool.
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In the dark,
Where all the fevers grow.
Under the water,
Where the shark bubbles blow.
In the mornin’,
By yer radio.
Do the walls close in t’suffocate ya?
You ain’t got no friends . . .
An’ all the others: they hate ya!
Does the life you been leadin’ gotta go?
Well, let me straighten you out,
About a little russian restaurant I know . . .
get yer shoes ’n socks on people, it’s right aroun’ the corner!
Out through the night
An’ the whisperin’ breezes,
To the place where they keep
The imaginary diseases.
Now scientists call this disease bromidrosis.
And well they should,
Even napoleon knows that.
But us regular folks,
Who might wear a tennis shoe
Or an occasional python boot,
Know this exquisite little inconvenience by the name of:
Stink foot.
Y’know, my python boot is too tight
I couldn’t get it off last night
A week went by, an’ now it’s july
I finally got it off
An’ my girl-friend cry
You got stink foot! stink foot, darlin’
Your stink foot puts a hurt on my nose!
Stink foot! stink foot! I ain’t lyin’,
Can you rinse it off, d’you suppose?
Here fido . . . fido . . .
Here fido . . . bring the slippers little puppy
Yes, that’s a good dog! yes!
Arf, arf, arf!
SICK.
Frank Zappa's Stinkfoot. Weird as hell.
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either
Atom And His Package - Shopping Spree
I CANT TAKE IT NO MORE
SO I"M GOING ON A SHOPPING SPREE, YEAH
I CANT TAKE NO MONEY
CAUSE I SPENT IT ON A SHOPPING SPREE, YEAH!
or annie's chewing gum
"you think I think your chocolate but i'm chewing gum."
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"Macdonalds
Macdonalds
Kentucky fried chicken and a
Pizza Hut"
....Need I say more?
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Nooooooooooooooo! Not the Fast Food Rockers!! *covers ears and rocks back and forth*
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Seatbelts : the singing sea
The singing sea
The talking trees
A Silent in a noisy way
The stars are bright
But give no light
The world spins backward everyday
A rainbow rat
A checkered cat
Go tail in tail around the road
The mouse is pleased
The moon is cheese
The sun is shining hot and cold
A golden bird
Today I heard
Sitting upon a silver branch
His little song was very long
Which made me sad and start to laugh
My sister is he
My brother is she
But there is only me in the family
When I grow up
I'll go down
The river to the Singing Sea
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Just as he hit
The ground
They lowered a tow that
Stuck in his neck to the gills
Fragments of sobriquets
riddle me this
three half eaten corneas
who hit the aureole
Stalk the ground
Stalk the ground
You should have seen
The curse that flew right by you
Page of concrete
Stained walks crutch in hobbled sway
Auto-da-fé
A capillary hint of red
Only this manupod
Crescent in shape has escaped
The house half the way
Fell empty with teeth
That split both his lips
Mark these words
One day this chalk outline will circle this city
Was he robbed of the asphalt that cushioned his face
A room colored charlatan
Hid in a safe
Stalk the ground
Stalk the ground
You should have seen
The curse that flew right by you
Page of concrete
Stain walks crutch in hobbled sway
Auto-da-fé
A capillary hint of red
Only this manupod
Crescent in shape has escaped
Pull the pins
Save your grace
Mark these words
On his grave
You should have seen
The curse that flew right by you
Page of concrete
Stain walks crutch in hobbled sway
Auto-da-fé
A capillary hint of red
Everyone knows the last toes are
Always the coldest to go
Make sense out of that, will you?
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"Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh, no! "
Ugh.
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There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium,
And gold and protactinium and indium and gallium,
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.
There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium,
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium,
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium.
There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium,
And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium,
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium.
And lead, praseodymium, and platinum, plutonium,
Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,
And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium,
And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.
There's sulfur, californium, and fermium, berkelium,
And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium,
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc, and rhodium,
And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin, and sodium.
These are the only ones of which the news has come to Ha'vard,
And there may be many others, but they haven't been discavard.
http://www.privatehand.com/flash/elements.html
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I have seen the golden goat
And he would like to lick my throat
I know he's mean
I know he's poor
I know he waits
Outside my door
The goat's too weak to do me harm
But he has got a big long arm
It fills my dreams
It's in my head
It makes me shake
And wet my bed
The Golden Goat by The Residents
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Red Hot Chili Peppers - Yertle the Turtle
Then down from below
In the great turtle stack
Came a burp from a plain
Little turtle named Mack
Just part of the throne
This burpin' little turtle
Looked up and said "I beg
Your pardon king Yertle"
I've pains in my back
My shoulders and my knees
How long must we stand
Here your majesty
"Silence !" the king of the
Turtles barked back
To the bad burpin'
Little turtle named Mack
I'm Yertle the turtle
Oh marvelous me for
I am ruler of all that I see
basically a take-off of Dr. Seuss, but to music its just strange.
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There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium...
"Tom Lehrer's muse is not fettered by such inhibiting factors as taste"
A lot of his songs are just as crazy, Poisening Pigeons, murdering a loving wife (this was in the 50's too), peddling dope, plagerising, killing game wardens. Great fun.
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"things i don't remember" - ugly casanova
things i don't remember
how the hell'd we get here?
how the hell did we get here?
things i don't remeber
dressed up alligators
how the hell'd we get here?
things i don't remeber
there were dressed up alligators
there was come on the piano
disco dancin' neighbors
who were born in mashed potatoes
caught with our pants down
hidin' in the dollhouse
figured out what we're good for
you're the sailor and i'm your port
things i don't remember
we undressed for the tailor
the skin was lightly salted
opened up a can of loud mouth malted
high-fives in your eyes
push the gas and now i'm kissin' good-byes
looking for a purpose
how the hell'd we get here?
there were things i don't remember
there were messed up alligators
there we endless conversations
noone's guts were really moving
all that dust was overflowing
all my mellow-bellied temptations
things i don't remember (x21)
figured out what i'm good for making anything look better
how the hell could our neighbor?
even then i was a sailor
there were jokes that didn't land
every end was too diciple in sand
things i don't remember
there was undress for the tailor
there were jokes that couldn't land
there were disco dancin' neighbors
they were born in mashed potatoes
how the hell'd we get here?
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Most of Isaac Brock's lyrics are pretty insane - but I do love that song
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Frank Zappa's Stinkfoot. Weird as hell.
Heh, and that's probably one of his more down-to-earth songs. :) Where's the nuclear powered pansexual Roto-Plooker? :D
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Almost cut my hair
It happened just the other day
It was getting kind of long
I could have said it was in my way
~Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young
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Just as he hit
The ground
They lowered a tow that
Stuck in his neck to the gills
Fragments of sobriquets
riddle me this
three half eaten corneas
who hit the aureole
Stalk the ground
Stalk the ground
You should have seen
The curse that flew right by you
Page of concrete
Stained walks crutch in hobbled sway
Auto-da-fé
A capillary hint of red
Only this manupod
Crescent in shape has escaped
The house half the way
Fell empty with teeth
That split both his lips
Mark these words
One day this chalk outline will circle this city
Was he robbed of the asphalt that cushioned his face
A room colored charlatan
Hid in a safe
Stalk the ground
Stalk the ground
You should have seen
The curse that flew right by you
Page of concrete
Stain walks crutch in hobbled sway
Auto-da-fé
A capillary hint of red
Only this manupod
Crescent in shape has escaped
Pull the pins
Save your grace
Mark these words
On his grave
You should have seen
The curse that flew right by you
Page of concrete
Stain walks crutch in hobbled sway
Auto-da-fé
A capillary hint of red
Everyone knows the last toes are
Always the coldest to go
Make sense out of that, will you?
With pleasure, its essentially about that Venegas guy jumping off a brigde over a road, committing suicide
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y'know, i used to like weird, oblique lyrics. but then like, i figure that a lot of the fuckers writing these lyrics are doing it on purpose, so that they seem all tortured and arty, but really they are bored middle-class kids.
fuckers.
either that, or they are on The Heroin. i think it's interesting that i'd actually rather than than for them to be trying too hard.
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Not only some of the strangest, but also quite depressing. This song has been stuck in my head of late...
Skinny Puppy - Mirrorsaw
"Through the window, blowing in, message ensured
walk within car passes terminal empty cracks started
showing through unlisted mystery a dead child was thrown
through a window wind opens windows carry promises true will unleash us
dogs bite flesh, biting, exposing,
freezing the soul, whirlwind blowing through the
crashes ceiling no fantasies gone ages ago
crashes through privacy gone ages ago
freezes hands, pale, lighter,
frozen paintings, illumination, illumination gone,
illumination, illumination gone, illumination not wrong,
sides heaving, chest boxed in, I will find the real
you/finally heal you, lighter, hand in smokes,
my treasures, there to know, I write a note,
tossed aside, tossed aside, shines through a
powder, baby the real you, blood shines through a powder,
reads the real you, love shines through a
powder, feel the real you, shines
through a powder, final curtain, what's become of me and you?"
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My best friend's a butcher, he has sixteen knives
He carries them all over the town at least he tries
Oh look it stopped snowing
My best friend's from Poland and um, he has a beard
But they caught him with his case in that public place
that is what we had feared
He severed segments secretly, you like that
He always had the time to speak with me I liked him for that
He severed segments so secretly, you like that
He always took the time
He always took the time
C'mon now pussycat
My best friend's a butcher, he has sixteen knives
He carries them all over the town at least he tries
Oh look it stopped snowing
My best friend's from Poland and um, he has a beard
But they caught him with his case in that public place
That is what we had feared
He severed segments secretly you like that
He always had the time to speak with me I liked him for that
He severed segments so secretly, you like that
He was growing on me
He was growing on me
Interpol - Roland
It's strange, but the strangeness is good.
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Galveston, she was my only friend
so I did and I don't want to talk about
i did it with the flowers
and I said dead, galvestons dead, galvestons dead, galvestons dead
galvestons dead, galvestons dead, galvestons dead
I think he might be dead
Galveston and I were best friends
at Junior high school we would walk and talk
and walk and talk
round fields of summer glass
and summer glass
stand up everbody
your not gonna get hurt by this..
so galveston and kerry
were walking in the park one day
walking in the park one day
i saw a blister
i saw a blister on a tree
i invited it to be me
one of the very early Idlewild songs that Roddy Woomble still wants to forget, and that's not counting 'Country Shite' either.
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With pleasure, its essentially about that Venegas guy jumping off a brigde over a road, committing suicide
...Dammit.
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There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium...
"Tom Lehrer's muse is not fettered by such inhibiting factors as taste"
A lot of his songs are just as crazy, Poisening Pigeons, murdering a loving wife (this was in the 50's too), peddling dope, plagerising, killing game wardens. Great fun.
Don't forget the Survivalist Hymn, Oedipus Rex, Werner Von Braun, Pollution or the Masochism Tango.
I vote for ANY Crotchduster song, but especially Let Me Into Starfish Land
[Grindcore vocals:]
THE A TRAIN NEVER STOPS,
AND I AM HEADED FOR YOUR HOLE,
I’D BE SO LUCKY IF I,
COULD CREAM IN YOUR ASSHOLE!
THERE’S SO MUCH SHIT THAT WE,
COULD MAKE EACH OTHER DO!
I’D RATHER FUCK YOUR ASSHOLE,
IF THAT’S O.K. WITH YOU?
HERE COMES THE HONEY,
WHEN I AM THROUGH,
BUT I AM NOT DONE CAUSE,
YOUR ASSHOLE IS SO NEW!
OPEN UP WIDE, HERE COMES THE TRAIN,
IF YOUR HEAD WAS BETWEEN YOUR LEGS,
ID LOVE TO SCREW YOUR BRAIN!
[The Darkness style vocals:]
Let me lick your asshole!
Let me lick it clean!
I’ll take you all to starfish land!
[Death metal vocals:]
LET ME LICK YOUR ASSHOLE,
LET ME LICK IT CLEAN!
I’LL SUCK OUT ALL THE PEANUTS,
I’LL SUCK OUT ALL THE BEANS!
I’LL TONGUE FUCK YOUR RECTUM,
I’LL DRIVE UP YOUR DIRT ROAD!
I’LL FELCH OUT MY OWN SEMEN,
AND SPIT IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!
[Jazz breakdown]
[Grindcore vocals:]
I LOVE BUNNIES!
I LOVE PINK!
I LOVE MY MOMS UNDERPANTS,
ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY STINK!
I LOVE RAINBOWS!
I LOVE BALLOONS!
I CRIED AT FOREST GUMP,
AND DISNEY CARTOONS!
[Gruff vocals:]
Boba Fett! Boba Fett!
Vader and Boba Fett!
Boba Fett! Boba Fett!
Vader and Boba Fett!
Boba Fett! Boba Fett!
Vader and Boba Fett!
GROOOOOAAARGGGH
Boba Fett! Boba Fett!
Vader and Boba Fett!
Boba Fett! Boba Fett!
Vader and Boba Fett!
Boba Fett! Boba Fett!
Vader and Boba Fett!
GROOOAAARRRGGHH
[Lounge music vocals:]
Luned up mustard glove
Anal love
Travelling butt-raping show
Steal a Mercedes
And grab the old ladies
And grease up your O....
LET'S GO!
[80's hard-rock Guitar Solo]
[Death Metal vocals:]
SHE SAID THAT I COULD TOUCH IT,
SHE SAID SHE’D LET ME IN!
I WARMED HER UP WITH MY MIDDLE FINGER,
SOME ANAL EASE AND GIN,
MY WANG WAS IN HER CRAP TRAP.
JUST ABOUT TO EXPLODE!
HER 30 YEAR OLD STEPMOM,
CAME IN AND DRANK MY LOAD!
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"Look at my hair! Like the design!" and the entirety of "Warning Sign" by Talking Heads
"1/4 of George Washington's Head
1/2 of George Washington's Head
3/4 of George Washington's Head
All of George Washington's Head" from TMBG's Violin and just about every other TMBG's song ever!
Most Beatles songs post Sgt. Peppers.
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either that, or they are on The Heroin.
Do not forget Peyote. *cough*The Mars Volta*cough*.
"Psycho Killer" is some kinda crazy, I know that much.
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Mindless Self Indulgence is pretty screwed up, but the best that's coming off the top of my head right now is fom Ecnegludni Fles Sseldnim:
me like to go down to the church and drink some holy water
but i don't like it... the priest don't like it
but me can't seem to help it
sail away - oh - away - oh
you live me life free like a birdie
cause me like to sing
me likes what me do
and me can't seem to help it
i went to the zoo and saw some monkeys
i went to the zoo and saw some monkeys today
i saw the giraffe but he didn't make any sound
sometimes me bad... oh, i forgot the words... um...
oh - we all going on a field trip -
a field trip - a field trip - a field trip -
a field trip - a field t-trip - a field trip -
a field trip - a field trip
Mr. Lonie is gonna be the true
Mr. Harry, he drives the van
sometimes me bad... eat me dental floss
pull him... pulling Jesus from the cross - touch me thing
sing somebody stole my Amy Grant records today
me think me turn 22 today
will somebody get me a present cause I turn 22 today
but they're not as pretty as Barbara Mandrel
then the milkman came - the milkman came and he took them fish
he took them fish now me crying - me crying
the milkman make me cry... then the mailman came
make me pee-pee on the floor
hide me sandwich in me drawer
the... hit my head against the door
this is some kind of dream
me likes to go down to the park
and take them nuts from them squirrels
and... you know what?
time is... it's the closet for me - the closet for me
it's so dark me cannot see
it's the closet for me - the closet for me
Mr. Harry said that will teach me
No, I don't want to do the special olympics one
my friend's the seat on my toilet
and he always seem to shout at me
oh, mister, don't you pee on me
when I'm shitting it's a totally different story
then he doesn't seem to play me mind
he's not afraid of my fat behind
and on the unfortunate occasion
when I miss the bowl and pee on him
lets me off with a smile and a warning
don't do it again...
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Oh yes, and don't forget SikTh's classic: 'When Will the Forest Speak':
Why can I not sleep?
Why am I turning?
Why are all the trees burning?
Forest fires, crooked liars,
Why am I so sullen and drained?
In the bush, it's raining,
Lost man on his own,
Has anyone thought to save him?
The monkey is waiting in the tree
Counts to three
Hearing the sound of the fume-fuelled wagon
He leaps on the back...
Attack! Attack! Attack!
No old heathen, not today.
The rain falls upon the acidic trees of the millennium scorn
The fire has vanished, leaving behind a trail of death for all to see.
The birds & the trees, then you & me
Lay twitching on the forest floor.
The yeti is waiting for us to take us into his home,
Care for us just like one of his own.
Wild bones!
Wild bones!
Wait! The yeti no longer has a home
The trees are gone & nothing has grown.
A table, a chair, an internet nightmare,
When will the forest speak?
When all is dried up and way too weak?
Wait for nightfall, it's so beautiful out here.
Up high in a wave of oxygen love I sit,
Up high on this glorified cement postcard I spit.
I spit, I spit upon thee.
Wait for your red skies,
Wait for the red skies,
Do you know how it feels to be alive?
Let me know, let me know how you feel...
When will the forest speak?
When the trees are dried up and way too weak?
Wasting a life on calculations,
Not enough money for operations,
Waste of life, statistics, plastic soldiers
Sound of sticks rubbing together.
All the people gather.
Wait for the man, he must have a plan,
Show me and make me a smile I can wear.
Me & you we can make up too,
No use for hate if you're wearing my shoes.
Be happy, be sad, be a wild rotten lamb,
Don't bother me now, I'm drenched to the bone.
A sound of a truck and an axe and a fall
Of a tree and a life and a planet so small
Sick to the bone of your dour heart of stone.
Let me know how you feel...
You say it's too hot so you can take off your top
A clank of a slot machine, coins bled unclean.
A beaten old lizard staggers over the road,
A hand and a heart, the lake in the park,
The candle won't light and the fire won't spark.
I'm worn and I'm torn but I still carry on.
The money is angry, the money has taken the...
Watching mayhem leaping from truck to truck,
This is where he rejoins his friends.
They feast, they drink, they talk about
How things used to be...
I still can't sleep.
I still can't sleep.
I still can't sleep.
A million minds and a million voices
A million thoughts, and only one choice.
The need to find peace.
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Um, guys, Deerhoof?
The Eyebright Bugler
Hallelujah, the bugle call
Didn't make me feel tall
Bang your head to your favorite song
It's very mechanical
Hallelujah, the oom-pah-pah
Didn't force me to waltz
Bang your head to your favorite song
It's very mechanical
The only thing about this song stranger than the lyrics is the way she sings it...
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All of Graham Coxon's lyrics fall into the 'crap' and ridiculous look I'm a 5 year old who can't write
and The New Pronographers write some marvellous lyrics:
When I was a baby I looked like a pig
My nose was a snout and my ears were too big
My mother would poke at the holes
At the back of my head where my brain was exposed.
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Um, guys, Deerhoof?
Just about every deerhoof song has wierd lyrics. I love deerhoof so much.
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Oh, Im a lumberjack an' I'm OK
I sleep all night an' I work all day..
You should know the rest ...
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Um, guys, Deerhoof?
Just about every deerhoof song has wierd lyrics. I love deerhoof so much.
i think their lyrics are good stuff.
animal collective has awkward lyrics.
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"Every sperm is sacred!!!"
heheh...
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Don't get me wrong, I like Deerhoof. But there's no way you can call the lyrics normal.
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Normal for Deerhoof maybe. I love Deerhoof by the way.
The Blood Brothers lyrics really reminded me of Burroughs at first.
Six Nightmares At The Pinball Masquerade Lyrics
When the french maids cigarette turns
burns like a boiling tapeworm
(that was really something baby,
that was really something baby)
When the chandeleers shatter,
your guest's gowns turn to tatters, the portraits just chatter
(that was really something baby,
that was really something baby)
Can you feel your sweat beading porcelin?
Your skeleton outgrowing it's skin?
It's the pinball masquerade....
Oh Oh Oh I saw the curtains of hair,
Oh Oh Oh I saw my fingers tear.
They said "we are the six nightmares (oh yeah)
we are the six nightmares (oh yeah).
Oh Oh Oh I saw the face of a girl strapped to a poison pear she said:
"we are the six nightmares (oh yeah)
we are the six nightmares (oh yeah)"
I saw a millionaire eat his shadow,
I saw a water clock beat a widow
they said if one man's life is the sum of something
I want to see your fears materializing!"
Where are the six nightmares at this costume bash?
Open your throat look in the raw gash!
You hold each other by well groomed hands,
mumbling prayers to a neglected jesus.
The matradees quiver as they watch you shiver as the mask
and the mouth knit into each other.
Our laughter was deafining but our lips
but our lips but our lips were trembling.
Now the lady with the peacock mask,
is writhing around in broken monicle glass,
imprisoned like a beetle laying on it's back,
and the man striped up and clawed calico like a cat,
is trapped forever looking like that.
"all your luxury, all your well hidden trash,
all your empty wine bottles disguised as class,
all the bastard children you pay off,
all the money it takes for you to get off.
"May i have this dance?"
the dark dealer takes your hands...
All your memories all your forgotten plans/one night stands;
they are the six nightmares at the masquerade.
Oh Oh Oh I saw the mirrors cringe
Oh Oh Oh the choir voices bend
Oh Oh Oh the costume in my skin...they said
"we are the six nightmares (oh yeah!)
we are the six nightmares (oh yeah)"
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Xiu Xiu.
All that needs to be said.
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DEFORMED PENIS! YAY!
The first time I heard that song, I was cracking up.
That kind of laughing where you think your gonna pee yourself? I did pee myself.
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Ah yes, Xiu Xiu. I know have a mesh of what I can remember by them stuck in my head.
I can't believe I forgot how weird Ridementary Peni lyrics are
"Army Of Jesus"
v stone the crows + fuck the pigs + pass the ammunition to jesus- the holy ghost in mohawk hair has crept in every fucking where, ten tons of the babes foreskin + fifty-thousand skeletons of jesus. army of jesus. tho' the world ate all your shits they're still allowed to starve the turin shroud can't cover up your evil-smelling cloud deliver us from jesus, forever + ever, bloody men.
"B-Ward"
Discord in b-ward a cliche never bored
Discord in b-ward siggy siggy siggy fraud?
Discord in b-ward a goal that's never scored
Discord in b-ward excreaciating smell hell!
Discord in b-ward just trust in your lord
Discord in b-ward eaten not gnawed
Discord in b-ward good deeds fast flawed
Discord in b-ward occupants over-awed
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Legendary Pink Dots always have odd lyrics, my favorite: The Month After
The Month After
Under the table and down in the pit with out plastic
potatoes and Joe-Joe the dove on the spit. On the
spoons you made rhythm; I whistled the blues cos
my throats been misused and my voice is a crack in
the tar. In the jar is a tablet they sent in the post,
with a pamphlet. With an order; "Take this when the
pain gets too much!" I confess I feel nothing at all . . .
I'm bored and you're bald, but I laughed when you
called me the snail. My red trail runs behind me.
I'm guilty, no secrets. You're not such a picture
yourself--but your brown eyes I know so very well.
They're sadder and wiser; We've finally been
through it all. Now our time's slowly ticking away.
Do you think there's a heaven? [ Backwards: I feel nothing at
all ]
-
well.
Aphex Twin.
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, in the morning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, when I'm yawning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, in the morning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, when I'm yawning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, in the morning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, when I'm yawning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, in the morning
I wish the milk man would deliver my milk, when I'm yawning
I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
I would like some milk from the milk man's wife's tits
(repeat)
-
THE RAINDROPS x11111ur2309482304230948230948023.
-
I am shocked no one's put McLusky yet. Take “Dethink to Survive,� for example:
Secret fürhrers got your tongue and bitches got your car
And if it wasn't for the ‘86 World Cup it wouldn't have got this far
She was un in de in re contrary, pissed but almost right
If it wasn't for the snakes in cumberbunds it would happen every night
Dethink to survive!
Cartoon monkeys got you hard, it must've been the hair
Though jive bunny stole your creative fire you really didn't care
She was un in re in de decided, happy killing time
There's an eight percent chance that you know Charles Dance and you're no damn friend of mine
Dethink to survive!
Danny Baker!
-
Vast Souls
And Inhumans,
Bitten By Infected Jaws
Abandoned Minds
And Corpses
Lurking With Moulded Eyes
Lacerated Bodies
Without Mourners
Nodding In Gallows
Crushed Skulls
Tasting The Fur
Of Dying Cats
Needles, Injecting Pain
Flamable Skin
And Deadly Thirst
Beyond Mind
Is Sleep To Be Found
Leap, Leap, Leap, Leap
From Life,
Leave Yourself,
Die With Me
-
ok, i'll play.
TISM - (He'll never be an) Ol' Man River
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix
I saw his body thrashing round.
I saw his pulse rate going down.
I saw him in convulsive throes.
I said 'I'll have one of those.'
Hillary had, Hillary had
Hillary had it in his veins
Hillary had, Hillary had
Hillary had it in his veins
Hillary had Everest in his veins
Armstrong did moon, was not the same
Heroes explore to give us hope
River pushed back the envelope
Drank the slab, Drank the slab
Drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk
Drank the slab, Drank the slab
Drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk
I drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk
I injected some of Hendrix's junk
I booked a seat on Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane
Mama Cass's sandwich? - I ate the same.
Now I'm bored, Now I'm bored
Now I'm bored and there's no stopping
Now I'm bored, Now I'm bored
Now I'm bored and there's no stopping
Now I'm bored and there's no stopping
I need another celeb to fill a coffin
Where'll I get my next drug action?
Odds on it'll be Michael Jackson
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix
I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug
I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix
-
New Boyfriend by Flashlight Brown
I grew my hair and i felt better.
I went and bought a cardigan sweater.
I tried some smack it made me sick.
Now my stomach is a-ci-dic.
I thought, "for sure she's an addict".
She found me vaguely attractive.
Down at the beach where i met her.
She picked my nose, I felt better.
I'd eat dog shit to make me hurl.
I'd even dress up like a girl.
Your band will make us all the loot.
We'll name our first born after fruit.
Now if that's not fucking weird I don't know what is
-
Rasputina -- Rats
Very many years ago, the Bolivians were starving so,
They had rats as big as ponies there. They asked the Pope
To declare them fish.
We thank the Pope for granting us this wish.
When Friday comes, we'll all call rats fish.
We catch them with a net, kill with the gun.
We'll call it all forgotten when we're done.
They didn't look like rats at all, but like some horrendous horse doll.
Still they had to eat this thing.
In gratitude, the Pope-they kissed his ring.
Or the Pants Rock Opera....
-
Catfood, by King Crimson
Lady Super-Market with an apple in her basket,
Knocks on the manager's door.
Grooving to the Muzak from a speaker in the shoe rack,
Lays out her goods on the floor.
Everything she's chosen is conveniently frozen.
"Eat it and come back for more"
Lady Window-Shopper with a new one in the hopper
Whips up a chemical brew.
Talking to a neighbor while she polishes her sabre,
Knows how to flavor a stew.
Never needs to worry with a tin of Hurry-Curry.
"Poisoned especially for you."
No use to complain if you're caught out in the rain.
You're mother's quite insane.
Cat food, cat food, cat food, again!
Lady Yellow-Stamper with a fillet in the hamper,
Dying to finish the course.
Goodies for the table with a fable on the label,
Drowning in Miracle Sauce.
Don't think I am that rude if I tell you that it's cat food,
"Not even fit for a horse."
-
Um, guys, Deerhoof?
i know i'd find their lyrics odd, IF I COULD FIND THEM.
but for now- Franz Ferdinand, "Michael"
Michael
You're the boy with all the leather hips
Sticky hair, sticky hips
Stubble on my sticky lips
Michael
You're the only one I'd ever want
Only one I'd ever want
Only one I'd ever want
Beautiful boys on a beautiful dancefloor
Michael
You're dancing like a beautiful dance whore
Michael
Waiting on a silver platter now... and nothing matters now
not so much odd, as unexpected.
-
Dark Tranquillity - Cathode Ray Sunshine
Carry our streams
Lift up our less than elated lives
Transmit our selves
We breathe out
Where no one whispers
Take in all the dark light
turn the nighttime into day
Cathode ray Sunshine
speak out and we receive
Show me and let us in
Alienate
Block out all
amid the breaking of the light
See it again and again
Single sight
Sensory perception
turn the nighttime into day
To our great distrust
Escapism a means of
getting through alive
Take it in and spit it out again
That measly filth
Focal degradation
Bring the chaos into light
Cathode ray Sunshine
Burn
As much as I like Dark Tranquillity, they sing aboust such weird crap all the time. Though that just makes it amazing to sing to.
-
Dare i mention Beck? his "midnight vultures" album presents us with a few examples, this one in particular. sorry, it's the whole song... couldn't help myself!
"Nicotine and Gravy"
I’ll be your chauffeur on a midnight drive
It takes a miracle just to survive
Buried animals call your name
You keep on sleeping
Through the poignant rain
I think we’re going crazy
Her left eye is lazy
She looks so israeli
Nicotine and gravy
I’ll feed you fruit that don’t exist
I’ll leave graffiti
Where you’ve never been kissed
I’ll do your laundry
Massage your soul
I’ll turn you over
To the highway patrol
I think we’re going crazy
Things don’t even faze me
Her left eye is lazy
Nicotine and gravy
Miracles amaze me
She looks so israeli
Love the way she plays me
I think I’m going crazy
I don’t want to die tonight
-
Silly lyrics, but I still love the song and the band to death:
Faith No More - 'We Care A Lot'
We care a lot about disasters, fires, floods and killer bees
We care a lot about the NASA shuttle falling in the sea
We care a lot about starvation and the food that Live Aid bought
We care a lot about disease, baby Rock, Hudson, rock, yeah!
We care a lot about the gamblers and the pushers and the geeks
We care a lot about the crack and smack and whack that hits the street
We care a lot about the welfare of all the boys and girls
We care a lot about you people cause we're out to save the world
YEAH!
And it's a dirty job but someone's gotta do it
We care a lot about the army navy air force and marines
We care a lot about the SF, NY and LAPD
We care a lot about you people, about your guns
about the wars you're fighting gee that looks like fun
We care a lot about the Garbage Pail Kids, they never lie
We care a lot about Transformers cause there's more than meets the eye
We care a lot about the little things, the bigger things we top
We care a lot about you people yeah you bet we care a lot,
YEAH!
Well, its a dirty job but someone's gotta do it
And it's a dirty song but someone's gotta sing it
-
"Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again "
McArthur park!!!! that was actually a number one for the late great actor Richard Harris, once saw some fottage of him performing it live with a full orchestra, just the passion with which you see this massive drunken Irish "man's man" singing about a ruined piece of confectionary is something to behold
-
We care a lot about the Garbage Pail Kids, they never lie
We care a lot about Transformers cause there's more than meets the eye
I actually think this is my favorite couplet in all of music, ever. First encountered on the Grosse Point Blank soundtrack, which also contained Mirror in the Bathroom, sample lyrics:
Mirror in the bathroom
please talk free
The door is locked
just you and me.
Can I take you to a restaurant
that's got glass tables
You can watch yourself
while you are eating.
Listens 1 thru 20, I wondered why the singer wanted to take his mirror to a restaurant.
--Moiche
-
Rotting from the inside
Over-incubated by the heat of fear and love
The self's coagulated
Egg...
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
Boiling hard in euphemism
Slowly becoming part of the water
Like a frog who never knows
The jacuzzi's getting hotter
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
How'd you know I was looking at you
If you weren't looking at me?
A stagnant pale perfume
Conceived to block the pores
The clotting glands encroach
The endless comfort of a mom
Deep inside my tanning salon
Wishing life was poached
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la
I can't seem to differentiate
Between the yellow love you give and the white sex I take
I just want to fertilize you
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
The cracks finally appear
Release cholesterol tears
The flooded cyst drains itself of pus
The lonely stomach chills unless it's drunk
So as she drives she'll close her eyes
Feel it warming up inside
edisni eht morf gnittoR
evol dna raef fo taeh eht yb detabucni-revO
detalugaoc s'fles ehT
Egg...
Oh an egg comes out of a chicken
Oh a chicken comes out of an egg
There's no place like home...
I love Mr. Bungle.
-
Ah, Icon of Coil. I'll list Wiretrap here, but I really wanted Android. All of this stuff about rebooting and deleting, and trash bins being full. Hilarious.
Wiretrap - Icon of Coil
Hey Mr. Speaker
Are you connected?
Are you jacked in today?
Is it you or is it me?
Hey Mr. Speaker
What do you hear today?
Do you want to be allowed?
Who turns you on today?
Turning up
Don't stop
Here to stay
Press play
Mr. Speaker, I love you
Turning up
Don't stop
Here to stay
Press play
Mr. Speaker, I love you
Thanks Mr. Speaker
For letting us dance the night away
Just you we dance the mono
With your brother we dance in stereo
Hey Mr. Speaker
Just want to let you know
Just how much I appreciate
That you're hangning around
(that you're hanging around)
How are you doing?
What do you got to leave with my student
Just you we dance the mono
With your brother we dance in stereo
-
The Dead Milkmen. I think that explains itself.
-
Wax Mannequin - Power Blaster
Pick up the Power Blaster.
You can shoot the lasers,
you can be a master like the heroes on TV.
You can shoot them one by one or one two three.
Yes indeed.
Meow meow meow me-meow me-meow (goes on for a while like this.)
Ooooooooh
Pick up the Power Blaster.
You can shoot the lasers,
you can be a master like the heroes on TV.
You can shoot them one by one or one two three.
Yes indeed.
This is the best song ever written, and then choreographed by me as a performance for the security camera in the main entrance to my university.
-
Alkaline Trio wins here with Fuck You Aurora's line
"You're the cutest grave digger I'd ever met."
-
here's the lyrics to a song by a fellow called Momus. He's rather clever and funny and one of the primary features of his musical style is a penchant for moog synthesizers.
here is the first verse to "The Penis Song"
Buckminster Fuller, inventor of the geodesic dome
Once gave a lecture he entitled 'Everything I know'
Taking the title literally, he spoke four years or so
And I intend to do the same, so make yourself at home
(Pull up a chair, smoke a cigar or something)
Cynthia Plaster Caster once took my cast and showed me
In a penis exhibition in a gallery on Broadway
So many people saw my penis in its glass case
They recognise my penis now before my face
the entire song lyrics are herehttp://www.phespirit.info/momus/20010115.htm
-
from Wicked (the musical) the song What is this feeling. Keep in mind that this song sounds INCREDIBLY happy. It's an upbeat song, and the main part of the weirdness is thus:
GALINDA AND ELPHABA
What is this feeling Loathing
So sudden and new? Unadulterated loathing
I felt the moment For her face, her voice
I laid eyes on you Her clothing
My pulse is rushing Let's just say:
My head is reeling We loathe it all!
Oh, what is this feeling? Ev'ry little trait
Does it have a name? Makes our very flesh
Yes: Begin to crawl:.
Ahhh: Ahhh:
There's more, and it's just as funny
-
No one has mentioned Wesley Willis, and I find that appalling. Go to www.alternativetentacles.com and download some mp3s to enjoy.
Here's some Stormtroopers of Death:
I woke up, can't wait to eat
Got my cereal, boy was I beat
Opened the fridge, and to my dismay
There was no milk, my mother will pay
I want some milk, my coffee grows cold
I want some milk, I should've been told
I wish I had some god damn milk
My Cheerios just ain't the same
I wish I had some god damn milk
Too bad the milkman never came
I can't go out to the store
I'll just wait till my mother buys more
I'll just have wheat thins and beer
If I get sick, the toilet is near
GG Allin songs are ridiculous too, but I'll refrain from posting any. I will, however, recommend "Drink, Fight and Fuck" and "Ass Fucking, Butt Sucking, Cunt Licking Masturbation" and also "Anti-Social Masterbator".
-
I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun see how they fly
I'm crying
Sitting on a cornflake waiting for the van to come
Corporation teeshirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you been a naughty boy. You let your face grow long
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen
I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob
Mister City Policeman sitting, pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky, see how they run
I'm crying, I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying
Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife pornographic priestess
Boy you been a naughty girl, you let your knickers down
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen
I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob
Sitting in an English garden waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come
You get a tan from standing in the English rain
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen
I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob goo goo goo goo joob
Expert textpert choking smokers
Don't you think the joker laughs at you? (Ha ha ha! He he he! Ha ha ha!)
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snied
I'm crying
Semolina pilchard climbing up the Eiffel Tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man you should have seen them kicking Edgar Alan Poe
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen
I am the walrus, goo goo goo joob goo goo goo joob
Goo goo goo joob goo goo goo joob
Goo gooooooooooo jooba jooba jooba jooba jooba jooba
Jooba jooba
Jooba jooba
Jooba jooba
I am the Walrus-Beatles
Come on, this was like the original song that makes no sense lol. Except it was on purpose, but still counts!
-
How about this old classic:
Fish heads
Fish heads
Roly poly fish heads
Fish heads
Fish heads
Eat them up, yum
And I'll second the motion regarding Beck and Midnite Vultures. How about that girl Debra?
I met you at JC Penney
I think your name tag said Jenny!
I cold-step to you with a fresh pack of gum
Somehow I knew you were looking for some
Like a fruit that's ripe for the picking
I wouldn't do you like that Zankou Chicken
'Cos only you got a thing
That I just got to get with
I just got to get
Get with you
And you know what we're gonna do
I wanna get with you
And your sister
I think her name is Debra
Oh girl, I only wanna be down with you
'Cause you got something that I just got to get with
I pick you up late at night after work
I said, "Lady, step inside my Hyundai
I'm gonna take you up to Glendale"
Yeah, gonna take you for a real good meal
Cos when our eyes did meet
Girl you knew I was packing heat
Ain't no use in wasting no time gettin' to know each other
Cos only you got a thing
That I just got to get with
I just got to get with you
And your sister
I think her name is Debra
I wanna get with you
And your sister
I think her name is Debra
Lovely lady, girl you drive me crazy
Lovely lady, girl you drive me crazy
I'll just throw Primus into the mix also, because all their lyrics are wacky.
~~Willis, grabs himself a can of Pork Soda
-
"I may not be a qualude living in a speedzone but I could be restfull I could be someones home..."
From When All the Stars Were Falling by Lisa Loeb.
-
How about almost all black metal? I love the music, but the lyrical themes end up just being silly. Aaaaagh, the Christians are a plague, aaaaaaaaarrrrgh, slit their throats, aaaauuuuugh, lets find a goat and anally rape it!!!!!!
Marduk, Glorification of the Black God
Glorification of the black god
In the shape of a black goat - The dark lord himself
Presiding over the revelry..
Demons, witches, and spirits of Darkness await
And watch with pleasure on the succumbed virgins
And innocent souls.. Soon to be sacrificed
The only light is the gleam of the torches from the inverted women wombs
And the fire from the cauldron, in which human fat is being boiled
There are a few exceptions to the ridiculousness rule in bm, like Emperor, but not many.
-
Cocteau Twins.
-
The Left Rights (Jimmy Urine's of Mindless Self Indulgence side project) Darth Vader:
Darth Vader
Maybe not now but some time later
You're very phallic
You're big, black and metallic
only you could be so cold
Lord Vader
Fuckin' shit up with your lightsaber
you're but the learner
and now you're very much gayer
I sense a disturbance in my ass
Darth Vader
-
the deftones- when girls telephone boys:
Always the same old taste just new injury
Well I'll wear the claws if you'd like that
Yeah if you'd like that we can ride on a black horse
A great new wave Hesparian death horse
...blah...
You always sharpen your teeth 'cause you're like that
and you're like that everythime you pull heart back
And her compact's carving deeper in your lap
I would call but I forget where the phone is at
-
Aaaaagh, the Christians are a plague, aaaaaaaaarrrrgh, slit their throats, aaaauuuuugh, lets find a goat and anally rape it!!!!!!
Sounds like a plan!
On that note, is it bad taste to nominate songs one wrote ones-self? As I think this is appropriate right now:
CHRIST-RAPING BLACK COFFEE
In the dark satanic winternight
I sit amidst the Orianthan wood
And clutch with grim determination
On the ancient thermos flask ov Seth
I slowly twist the rune-ed lid
Excitement misting on my breath
I pour the ebon nightblack draught
And drink deep the cup ov pure pernicious evil!
Caffeine overdose
To deaths borders come close
The beverage ov Belial
In an insulated phial
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
They don’t serve it at Starbucks
Its symptom is mindfucks
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
Beans of darkness ground pure
‘Tween the thighs ov Satan whores
Christ-Raping Black Coffee!
I drained the final dregs
Felt the deadly curse come over me
I stagger forward blindly
Needed a Luciferian pee
So I dropped down my trousers
In the middle ov the darkwoods
And the ancient cryptic icefiends
Froze my balls right off!
Foil-fresh from hell
It sounds deaths knell
First choice ov Satan’s knights
When they’ve got a late night
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
As black as your soul
It resembles liquid coal
Christ-Raping Black Coffee
A deadly death potion
That increases bowel motion
Christ-Raping Black Coffee!
(In the original all the 'of's are spelt 'O V' but this forum changes them back to 'of' for some reason).
-
I'm gonna second the Beatles here. They have rekindled my love for old music. I've been singing this song to my friends for weeks. They officially hate me now. You gotta love it, though. Nothing like delightful absurdity.
I Am The Walrus--The Beatles
I am he as you are he as you are me
and we are all together
See how they run like pigs from a gun
see how they fly
I'm crying
Sitting on a cornflake
Waiting for the van to come
Corporation T-shirt, stupid bloody Tuesday
Man you've been a naughty boy
you let your face grow long
I am the eggman
they are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob
Mr. city policeman sitting
pretty little policemen in a row
See how they fly like Lucy in the sky
See how they run
I'm crying
I'm crying, I'm crying
Yellow matter custard
Dripping from a dead dog's eye
Crabalocker fishwife
Pornographic priestess
Boy, you've been a naughty girl
you let your knickers down
I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob
Sitting in an English garden
waiting for the sun
If the sun don't come you get a tan
from standing in the English rain
I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob
Expert, texpert choking smokers
don't you think the joker laughs at you
See how they smile like pigs in a sty
See how they snide
I'm crying
Semolina pilchard
climbing up the Eiffel tower
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna
Man, you should have seen them kicking
Edgar Allan Poe
I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' joob
Goo goo g' goo
goo goo g' joob goo
juba juba juba
juba juba juba
juba juba juba juba
juba juba
-
"I Wanna Piss On You"
by gg allin
I wanna piss on you, I wanna piss on you
You ain't shit to me, 'cause I'm better than you
I wanna shit on you, and rape your little sister too
I wanna piss on you, my pecker has a yearning to
I wanna piss on you, I wanna piss on you
Shit in your mouth, piss on you
Fill your mouth with super glue
My glands can't hold it in, I've got an Uncle Yen
Wanna pull it out again, and urinate on everyone
I wanna piss on you, my peckers got a yearning to
Gotta pull it out again, and urinate on everyone
I wanna piss on you, fill your mouth with super glue
I'll piss on you and your sister too
I wanna rape that bitch
Piss, piss, piss on everybody, yes
Piss, piss, urinate, piss 'till your face is yellow, yea
Your hair is yellow, it's dripping down your chin
It's going in your mouth again
I wanna piss on you, I hope you drowned, I hope you do
I wanna piss on you, fill your mouth with super glue
I wanna piss on your mother too
And rape your sister, she is so cool
I wanna piss on you, everyone should be pissed on
I wanna piss on you, I hate you, I wanna piss on you
I wanna shit on you, piss on you and rape you too
I wanna piss on your brother, wanna piss on your father too
I wanna piss on you, wanna piss on you, you, you
I wanna piss on you, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss on you
-
In that vein
The Anti-Nowhere League - So What?
So fucking what!
Well I've been to Hastings
And I've been to Brighton
I've been to Eastbourne too
So what, so what
Well I've been here
And I've been there
And I've been every fucking where
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Well who cares, who cares what you do
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you
Well I've sucked sweets
And I've sucked rock
And I've even sucked an old man's cock
So what, so what
Well I've fucked a sheep
And I've fucked a goat
I've had my cock right down its throat
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Well who cares, who cares what you do
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you, you
Well I've drunk that
And I've drunk this
And I've spewed up on a pint of piss
So what, so what
And I've had scag
I've had speed
I've jacked up until I bleed
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Well who cares, who cares what you do
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you, you
Well I've had crabs
And I've had lice
And I've had the pox and that ain't nice
So what, so what
Well I've fucked this
And I've fucked that
And I've even fucked a schoolgirl's crack
So what, so what
So what, so what you boring little cunt
Who cares, who cares about you
Who cares, who cares about you
You, you, you, you....
-
That reminds me:
'Recycling is Gay' by Anal Cunt
YOU P.C. FUCKING FAGGOT
WHY DON'T YOU THROW IT AWAY
I'LL NEVER RECYCLE
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
MY GARBAGE CAN IS FILLED
WITH PLASTIC, CANS AND GLASS
IF YOU TELL ME TO RECYCLE
I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
RECYCLING IS GAY
Can't... stop... laughing...
-
Anal Cunt reached their pinnacle of awesome with 'You (Fill In The Blank)':
we're so dumb,we've got nothing new to say
we write the same song 30 times a day
about how you're a cunt or you're dumb or you're gay
but we'll keep writing them anyway
[chorus:]
you fill in the blank [x4]
fill in the blank is dumb
fill in the blank is gay
fill in the blank's a cunt
and tom pascual is short
[chorus]
-
A SQUID EATING DOUGH IN A POLYETHELENE BAG IS FAST AND BULBOUS.
NEON MEAT DREAM OF A OCTAFISH.
captain beefheart, anyone?
-
Just about anything written by Billy Corgan. nuff said
-
'You (Fill In The Blank)'
Which one is that from? Didn't even see it. Was funny, though. I also like 'Everyone In Anal Cunt is Dumb':
Is that Scott and Tim, or Gilbert and Lewis
I let them in the band, didn't know that they'd screw us
Mike Mahan had no brains, Tim has no spine
Fred's a fucking asshole, and Paul would always whine
First we had a spic, a pollack, and a geek
Who'll play guitar for Anal Cunt next week
Seth's an alcoholic, Tim can't play drums
Everyone in Anal Cunt is dumb
Fred had his hair in those stupid fucking braids
Tim has a kid, but he never gets laid
John dyed his hair, so we kicked him out of the band
Scott's got a dumb tattoo on his hand
-
It's off 'I Like It When You Die'.
Though, I do love how just randomly crazy they were getting by 'It Just Gets Worse':
'I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT'
I WAS ON MY WAY TO TURN IN ILLEGAL ALIENS TO THE INS
AND YOUR STUPID FUCKING DOG WAS BARKING AT ME
IT SOUNDED LIKE A SINGER FROM A GAY DEATH METAL BAND
I WANTED TO KICK IT IN THE FUCKING FACE
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
AFTER I BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF IT
I WANTED TO THROW IT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING WINDOW
BUT I NEEDED MONEY TO BUY SOME MORE WHISKEY
SO I SOLD IT TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
I SOLD YOUR DOG TO A CHINESE RESTAURANT
YOUR FAMILY ORDERED PU PU PLATTER
YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WERE EATING
IT WAS YOUR FUCKING GAY FAITHFUL DOG
WHILE YOU WERE AT THE RESTAURANT I LIT YOUR HOUSE ON FIRE!
-
Yeah, Anal Cunt are always the best when they're attacking really stupid, trivial shit. Particularly their fans.
And of course, The Dillinger Escape Plan (man, I'm glad I have enough self-distance to laugh at this):
'Everyone Who Likes The Dillinger Escape Plan Is A Faggot'
Harvey Fierstein told me you guys ruled
John Zorn called to tell me you're great
The caller ID was from a gay bar
You guys fucking suck
Any guy who likes you
Like Neurosis and dicks up his ass
You think you're so fucking original
Gay bars used to be original too
You never get bad reviews
Because all the writers shoot up cum
Everyone who likes you
Is a gay homosexual faggot
-
My favourite attack on a band is '311 sucks' where Seth just garbles random wicki-wah style gibberish for 30 seconds over lazy hip-hop type music then it all goes grindy and he screams "YOU FUCKING SUCK!!".
-
I like Bright Eyes, but this part of Bowl of Oranges reminds me of something David Brent would write...
And I came upon a doctor
Who appeared in quite poor health
I said there's nothing that I can do for you you can't do for yourself
He said oh yes you can, just hold my hand, I think that that would help
So I sat with him awhile
Then I asked him how he felt
He said I think I'm cured
No, in fact, I'm sure of it
Thank you, stranger
For your therapeutic smile
-
Arkhon Infaustus - Domination Xtasy
Orgiastic murder
Blood on the ground
A body for an altar
She draws the sign of her inner hell...
In this dark dungeon
A dark sexual mass
The corset tormentor
With dildos and handcuffs
Brings her soul to xtasy
Bondaged he cries
Sodomized he screams
She spits on your face
Like the wimp on his cross, soon you will die!
The dark mistress always sucks down the dead
The dark mistress only sucks down the dead
Your death makes her cum
A fistfucking prayer, an angels requiem
The whore queen commands
He obeys randy and thanks his executioner
She lashes the air with the devil's tail
Her eyes filled with hate, "obey to get her down"
Hurt me, love me, she's a pain paid hooker
You're my pain, my goddess... worship her cunt you slave!
The empress has left
Her slave sleeps forever
The praying mantis is satisfied till another night
Next night, she'll come
Just for you... your death'll make her cum!
crazy french people
-
Aesop Rock - One Brick
Thing is, they do make sense, but I swear he must spend more time obfuscating his lyrics than he does writing them. Whatever, it's a great song, and "the room reaks of a thousand bayonettes" is an awesome line.
I start my city with a brick (one brick)
Then add another brick (two bricks)
Brick by brick, I manufacture homes for fallen angels
I ain't no great Samaritan, that's just the way the game goes
Respect the polars but acknowlege middle-value rainbows
My snout turned up from dream factory eyelids
Slingin bottled prosperity for the kamikaze colonels
Yeah rocks the match that burned the Nazi journals
And plottin verticals amidst blatantlly horizontal
Models then swallowed by famished potholes
And I'm tired
Tied up on these functions
Killer cottoncandy clouds and huckleberry justice league
Another knuckle-dragger dungeon breed
Run, breathe, sit, bellow
Wild Aes scream through your style to hear the echo
Aight then, flinch for the great granddaddy payback
When Little Billy bought a Tugboat
Now he thinks he's Captain Ahab
Facist takes for the pegleg's birds and eyepatches
Learn that lesson, you'll be swashbuckling with the best of them
Wonder why you wept over spilled milk
And got your crayons wet, the room reaks of a thousand
bayonettes
I'll fision vision with a lie longer than your most walked
meridian
Connecting life with that little species of midians
We've now officially scraped barrel bottom
Aesop Rock an Apple to the core but ya'll ignored him
I know a planet made of porcelain
And once I get tired of holding this gavel up
Ya'll prayer circles met him up born again
I ain't too good for tap water
Play 'Taps' out of order
For a ballad, corpse a dead man walkin
You can lead a man to a city but that don't assure civility
You can beat a man to death with Aesop Rock bootleg cd's
(That's more fun anyway)
Some cats Float, some cats don't
I speak in Farenheit and burn off colon lyric
Diss blatant harassment, spit honor, whistle fearless
Don't dismiss the billygoat appearance for that common sheep
-
This song is silly but I love it anyway, in their early days they did a lot of these, now they are a lot more serious and still manage to be great... A wonder really.
Kashmir - Lollypork Stomp
The moon was hanging cool and full above the waving swimming pool as we were feeding mouths with meat and drool.
'Cus we were having christmas feast a merry one with pork and grease...
And every guest was eating meat like beasts!
'Cus santa gave us lollypork and everyone was gay.
The smell of frying pig was in the air.
I really think that eating piggypork is quite O.K.
As long as the meat is well done I think it's fair.
Fanatic vegetarians would call us rude barbarians but before they did we forked them on the grill!
The taste was quite 'mermaliar' reminded me of aliens but salt could give it ooooh the last thrill!
And santa gave us lollypork and everyone was gay.
The smell of frying pig was in the air.
I really think that eating piggypork is quite O.K.
As long as the meat is well done I think it's fair.
My youngest son once asked his dad: 'How can it be that I am so fat?
You taught me lollypork was for my health!
The skinny kids with baseball bats still kick my ass and tell me that my family was never one of wealth!
'And santa gave us lollypork and everyone was gay.
The smell of frying pig was in the air.
I really think that eating piggypork is quite O.K.
As long as the meat is well done I think it's fair.
As long as the meat is well done I think it's fair.
As long as the meat is well done I think it's...
and one more:
Kashmir - Could We Kill Fred?
Fred did go long but he did not go all the way.
Siezed every day though his surfboard sank in the bay.
Loaded his mind with a sauce spiced in all he found hip.
'Micro chip dip!'
Searched for the hype stuff and feared to be a hypocrite: Turned 'E' to 'C' in a band where he did not fit.
Fred was the founder of every invention before.
Fred throws out his brain jumps on a train to be on time digs cool magazines... Flips through the pages of his mind.
Day is gone but he keeps the 'blackfiles' on.
Fred is in the house tries to be seen among the crowd Fred's a friend of the band still they don't know the man that acts so loud...
Please notice him... He's... Proud... Of... His... Style.
You want him dead I ask could you kill Fred?
Go for his neck and you'll get your own head. Your own head.
Fred dyed his hair told his friends he would shoot himself.
Friends he had none so it must have been someone else.
No one objected his threat so poor Fred took it back.
Fred turns on T.V. tries to collect the frequency this reality must be reflecting Freddy's key.
Day is green and he'll keep the arnet's on.
Next week Fred is saying 'oh I must break this cozy shell'.
He steps into a plane and tries to break it in Nepal.
Please notice him... He's... Proud... Of... His... Style.
You want him dead I ask could you kill Fred?
Go for his neck and you'll get your own head. Your own head.
Fred is like proud to be a part of this x-rated generation leaving no specific sensations except for once in a while when some hair-dyed fellow locks himself in a shed just to blow off his own head.
Sometimes Fred makes a sandwich with his girlfriend Lizzy and some foreign drugged up 'ho' he calls Janis.
Sometimes Fred is checking out the 'Strawberries' of this particular season last week Fred was 'in' to directing movies this week it's political meetings and friday he'll be a host in what he thinks is his own 'Fred Sullivan show'.
You want him dead I ask could you kill Fred?
Go for his neck and you'll get your own head.
You want him dead I ask could you kill Fred?
Go for his neck and you'll get your own head. Your own head.
-
When it comes to shit lyrics no one out does these Brazilian lads:
Sarcofago - Desecration Of Virgin
___________________________________
Seven night before
of scared birthday
the lord make himself
present at virgin's home
Demons suck you pussy
and fuck 'til the delight
she isn't more virgin
because was fucked by Satan
He put the virgin of for
fucking your asshole
the orgy haven't stop
ejaculating on her mouth
She suck... a hammer of Satan
and reach the first orgasm
he breack laws of God
and prophane the mother of Gods
Sarcofago - Deaththrash
___________________________________
More a hard core metal night start
let me torture you with my growls
making you burst your head on the stage
playing the simphony of atomic war
If you are a false don't entry
because you'll be burned and died
the nuclear drums will chrush your brain
slaughtering all with intensive pain
The blood of your heads
spread in our faces
violence and death
are with we desire
not that's enough
we want more blood
come up on stage
drag out our heads
deathrash
Get out here and destroy all
killing all falses bastards
because is this with we want
this is our message...
"If you are a false don't entry
because you'll be burned and died"
Is that not the best line ever?
-
Hahahaha, Sarcófago fucking wins \m/
-
Oh jeez, that's reminded me. Though they're a joke band, fuckin' Blackthrone
PANZERFAUST DIVISION BLACKTHRONE
The world is becoming a very black
Prepare for our next attack
When you come with your panzers
We rise and shoot with panzerfausts
Then you die!
Black forces of evil!
Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone
Infernal hordes of Satan!
Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone
You can't live after we have killed you
Because you are then very necro and dead
Your panzer is to be broken after we've
risen with our panzerfausts
Dark evil Inferno men!
Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone
Our defence-line is so thick
With the power of evil we attack and kill
You cannot do anything because we always have
our panzerfaust division Blackthrone ready
Dark evil Inferno men!
Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone
Hellish outlaws from Satan's side
Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone
Panzerfaust Division Blackthrone
Fistfucking the face of you
666 times in a day
Our defence-line is so thick
With the power of evil we attack and kill
Your tanks will be broken always
"You can't live after we have killed you
Because you are then very necro and dead"
\m/
And on the note of uber-metal piss-take awesomeness, who could forget the mighty Tankard?
666 PACKS
We have a deal with Satan
A contract signed in Hell
We sacrifice a virgin
He makes our record sell
SATAN! - To Antichrist we pray
EVIL! - To hit the charts one day
666 Packs - Seven days of death and pain
Satan - Thirteen hours blood will rain
666 Packs - Nine black bats will eat your brain
Satan - Good with numbers? Join our cult
We have the baddest evil
Come buy our merchandise
A plastic skull, a T-Shirt
That says "I shit on Christ"
SATAN! - is thrashing to the beat
EVIL! - on seven days of week
666 Packs - Seven days of death and pain
Satan - Thirteen hours blood will rain
666 Packs - Nine black bats will eat your brain
Satan - Good with numbers? Join our cult
On stage we slaughter poultry
In songs we slaughter man
Black masses, guts and torture
We do the worst we can
SATAN! EVIL! - on blood and gore we feast
SATAN! - I am your Judas Priest
666 Packs - Seven days of death and pain
Satan - Thirteen hours blood will rain
666 Packs - Nine black bats will eat your brain
Satan - Good with numbers? Join our cult
-
Three Businessmen - I walk for my Lawn
I walk for my Lawn
I walk all day Long
All the time it's hard for me
Feel the pain inside my knee
I hit a rock
it flies up and breaks the skin
I swear I'll never do this kind of thing again
Everydau it's like a madman in the jungle
Trying to cut all of it down
I walk for my lawn
I don't eat nylon
Polyester's OK
I like it all day
I see a purple double knit sweater walking by
Unattached to a body pushing a hand mower
All of a sudden I look outside
And the grass has grown so much taller
I don't know how I could let my lawn go
I'm living in urban squalor
I tried to start the mower with my foot inside the hole
I sliced off four toes, oh no
The blad caught some of the blood
And spewed it all over the ground
My next door neighbor hear my screaming sounds
They calld an ambulance it showed up right away
They said 'Are You Crazy? Are you gone?"
I walk for my lawn even with one foot gone
I don't eat nylon - The day is so long
My neighbors have cadillacs
I have a battle axe
I'm going after the Joneses
I'm not going to use this mower anymore, oh
Don't you know sometimes the pressure of living in the
Golden ghetto gets to me
I don't know what to do
I get on a riding mower and I got after my Neighbors - Slash
Augh!
I'm so tired
"It's okay, it's just Jack on his riding mower."
I'm so tired, polyester's okay
At leas that's what some say - I'm so tired
I don't eat nylon, don't eat nylon, don't eat nylon
-
Sum 41 - A.N.I.C
(F**kin' Shit)
You look like ass
You smell like shit
So why are you such a dick?
You walk around like you're the tits
You always make me sick
Bound for agony
You life's catastrophe
You look like ass
You smell like shit
So why are you such a dick?
You walk around like you're the tits
You always make me sick
Bound for agony
Your life's catastrophe
You're an asshole
You're an asshole
You're an asshole
You're an asshole
You make me sick
Edgar Allan Poe, go home, this is a masterpiece, beautifully rendered piece of true adversion for the everlasting and OMINOUS universe.
...I know this is cheating a bit but they sort of ask for it ;)
-
When it comes to ridiculous lyrics, mighty metalheads SACRED STEEL cannot be far:
Dark Forces Lead Me To The Brimstone Gate
[A retrospect on the Dark Lord's ninth forbidden Journey]
([THE TYRANT KING:] "I look into myself to ask the Fates for answers but even the Voices of my Soul remain silent. Still sleeping I murmur the Ritual Words of the time-lost Invocation : ARA'SHA NIMU KO'SHA ! The third Dream-Gate opens and I fall onward through the Crystal Ball...")
(The apostate on the Voyage to the center of Cythraul)
"Weird Dreams, dark Visions, black Spells ensorcell me !
Sword tight (in my trembling hands), grim mission, come forth those Voices sing..."
[THE WITCH:]
"The Secrets once forbidden are gifts to be unveiled !
Beware (my son) ! For Hell's Damnation waits if you should ever fail !"
(The Sojourner is trapped in the Delirium of the Fall)
[THE TYRANT KING:]
"A royal Balefire (I see the Valkries taking my dead body to the Hall of Kings) !
A King's soul, haunted, doomed !
A Warrior's death pyre ! A mortal earthbound tomb"
"I follow to the Ancient Call, DARK FORCES !
I'm falling through the Crystal Ball, DARK FORCES !
I've come to face my Sacred Fate, DARK FORCES !
(I beg thee) DARK FORCES, lead me to the Brimstone Gate !!!"
"Death-Ring ! Black Magic ! Your Wielder I shall be !
Doom-Sword ! Dark Terror ! Your Steel my Victory !
Wrath-Sceptre ! Wand of Spells ! Sign of a God-King's Reign
I fear not Death nor Hell nor Fire !!! I shall not fail !!!"
("I enter to the Stygian Pyramids. Realm of the descendants of a race even older than the Old Gods themselves !")
"Shield blessed by Sorcery, anointed by her Spells
I'm drawn into the Black Abyss of fiery Hell !"
("I am reborn in Bloodshed to wreak Havoc, Death and Hate
Upon the lost souls doomed, where endless Pain awaits !")
"I call thee... DARK FORCES ! DARK FORCES ! (Priests of the Serpent-Race !)
DARK FORCES ! (Sorcerers of Time ! Disciples of the Worm !)
DARK FORCES ! DARK FORCES !
LEAD ME TO THE BRIMSTONE GATE !!!"
(Before the Council of the Serpent. The Dreamer stands alone, facing the Trial of the Elder Gods.)
[THE ELDER GODS:]
"Behold these Treasures ! We know your Soul is pure.
Take them and use them to rule this World once more !"
(The Neophyte on the way back to the second Dream-Gate)
[THE TYRANT KING:]
"Thus spake the Elders !
The Gods of Metal, Steel and Iron and Glory
(I am) Reborn to reign as King !"
"DARK FORCES LEAD ME TO THE BRIMSTONE GATE !
DARK FORCES LEAD ME THROUGH THE BRIMSTONE GATE !!!"
("Passing the third gate, I return to the crimson world.")
"...And to a world of Slaughter I awake !"
-
Army Of Metalheads
Come hold me close my dear Brother
Now as I take my last Breath
So many Souls I have taken
Now it's the time for my Death
I'll drink from the Skulls of the False Ones
With my Comrades waiting beyond
We'll fight 'til the End of Forever
'Til the Final Battle is done
Anoint me in Metal and Steel
In Death I am King
Metalheads
Metalheads
Metalheads
Our Army of Vengeance is back from the Dead
Metalheads
Metalheads
Metalheads
Our Army of Vengeance is back from the Dead
Reign from a Throne made of Thunder
Wielding the Lightning of War
Hunting the Posers forever
In Life as in Death evermore
Gathering Soldiers of Metal
Undead, Immortal and True
Leading them into the Battle
An Army of Cold Iron Doom
-
On the subject of the first Sacred Steel, NOBODY can defeat Bal-Sagoth
And Lo, When The Imperium Marches Against Gul-Kothoth, Then Dark Sorceries Shall Enshroud The Citadel Of The Obsidian Crown
[Chapter 1: The Voyage of the Sorcerer]
The war between the Imperium and the allied Vyrgothian Kingdoms had raged
for years. Beginning as minor disputes over border territories, the conflict
had swiftly escalated into a full-scale bloody war, a vast series of epic
campaigns, fervently perpetua ted by the Emperor Koord and the Over-King of
Vyrgothia, both eager to smite their traditional ancestral foes and to win
great glory and the adulation of their people by seizing victory in battle.
Recent months had seen the forces of the Imperium display a staggering degree
of tactical mastery and battle prowess, contemptuously crushing the Vyrgothian
armies in a series of great battles, 'til at last, following the slaughterous
Rout of the Fields of Kai-Vorg, The Empire's finest fighting force, the fame
d and far-feared Legion of the Ebon Tiger, stood unopposed not five day's
march from mighty Gul-Kothoth, the greatest and most ancient fortress-city in
all the Vyrgothian kingdoms. The Legion of the Ebon Tiger could not easily
count their numerous and r esounding victories, and their commander, the
legendary warlord Baalthus Vane, made it clear to the Emperor that he was
eager to press on deep into the enemy's lands and seize the prize which
awaited him; the siege and capture of ancient Gul-Kothoth! And yet the Emperor
Koord did not order the Legion to march, for disturbing information had of
late been relayed to him by his spies in the Vyrgothian Royal Court... Dire
rumours abounded that the Vyrgothian mages had at last discovered the ancient
arcane r ites which would unlock the aeons-fettered power of the dread
Obsidian Crown, a fearsome mystical artefact countless thousands of years old,
a black-jewelled circlet believed once to have been borne upon the immortal
brow of the legendary Shadow-King him self! And it was written in legend,
that should the ancient spells of might entwining the artefact be reawakened,
then incredible near limitless ruinous power would thus be bestowed upon any
army carrying the Crown into battle... Had the mages of Vyrgoth ia truly
ascertained the time-lost conjurations required to empower the Obsidian Crown,
hidden for centuries deep within the marble vaults of its ebon citadel? Eager
to know the truth, the Emperor dispatched his most powerful sorcerer across
the great In land Sea to the Court of the Over-King, under the pretence of
offering the terms for the Vyrgothian surrender. He was bade use all his
sorcerous skills to discover the truth... a truth soon made clear by the
disdainful refusal of the Imperium's terms, an d the grimly fearsome message
given the sorcerer by Vyrgothia's Master Wizard, with which to return to the
Emperor: "And lo, when the Imperium marches against Gul-Kothoth, then dark
sorceries shall enshroud the Citadel of the Obsidian Crown..."
[The Wizards of Vyrgothia:]
Darkly bejewelled circlet of night,
Crown of the Elder King,
Unfettered at last the Trinity of Might,
The sceptre, the sword, and the ring.
[The Sorcerer:]
I stand upon the oaken planks of this great ship, (the splendid flagship of
the Imperium's navies)
Gazing at moon-gleam dancing on the vast, dark sea...
(And in my mind I behold) black crystals gleaming... ensorcellment!
I am enthralled by this nighted spell...
For I know that the slumbering sorceries
Of the Shadow-King's crown shall soon be reawakened...
And as I return to my emperor (shackled to such woefully grim tidings),
My spirit is borne upon the leathern wings of a great sorrow...
[Chapter 2: The March of the Imperium]
[The Emperor:]
Call forth the Ogre-Mage of the Black Lake
And the Swordmaster of Kyrman'ku,
Let them speak the Words Which Unfetter...
Enshrined for countless centuries, within its darksome citadel,
Five score and ten against the Tiger, (curse) the black crown of the
Shadow-King!
By all the dark gods, I swear I'll not be dethroned!
A seething forest of blackened blades,
A churning sea of ebon war-chariots,
A searing storm of flaming shafts,
All this havoc and more shall I unleash against my foe...
Into battle! The Legion shall march... the fall of Gul-Kothoth is nigh!
The Legion of the Ebon Tiger... six thousand elite warriors of the
Imperium, the pride of the Emperor's forces... Bolstered by heavy cavalry, and
a squadron of deadly scythed chariots... further reinforced by the Imperial
Frontier Army of one hundred tho usand highly trained spearmen and archers...
and never has this force met its match in battle or siege...
[Baalthus Vane:]
Our banner flies ever glorious, undefeated we stand, steeped in victory.
The Iron Phalanx, six thousand strong, our ever-honed blades, the Tiger's
gleaming claws.
Pride of the Empire, Scourge of the Vraii,
Masters at Turonium, and Kai-Vorg.
Smiters of the Southern Host, Routers of the Horde, Bane of the Over-King, we
march to war!
And so, the Emperor himself rides to rendezvous with Baalthus Vane,
accompanied by his sorcerous aide. The Legion of the Ebon Tiger reaches
Gul-Kothoth at dusk on the fifth day of their march from the fields of
Kai-Vorg, halting upon the great arid plan which stretches before the city,
the huge dust cloud sent up by their massed arrival obscuring the dying embers
of the setting sun. As the vast army begins to make camp, arraying their
splendid tents and banners, and assembling their gargantuan siege-wag ons,
the Emperor stands gazing at the huge brooding walls and colossal cyclopean
gates of the city-fortress before him, vowing that a torrent of red slaughter
shall befall Gul-Kothoth, regardless of any sorcerous trinkets the Vyrgothians
may possess, and that the Over-King shall pay dearly for his sublime
arrogance. And twelve leagues distant, an army of five score and ten, bearing
the Obsidian Crown, approaches the city...
[To be continued in Chaper 3: The Wizards Do Battle]
Just look at the TITLE.
-
dammit! now i have the roly-poly fish heads song AND the i like bumblebee bumblebee tuuuuuuna songs going in my head. at the same time.
but i am going to have to vote for the Detachable Penis song, for sheer surreality, and everything to spew from SOAD. i liked them, then my little sister got ahold of my toxicity cd and played that goddamn song Bounce nonstop for a few months. bouncebouncebouncebounceupdownupdown but just one pogo stick! bleh!
Jump, Bounce, Down, Up
I went out on a date,
With a girl, a bit late,
She had so many friends,
Gliding through many hands.
I brought my pogo stick,
Just to show her a trick,
She had so many friends,
Gliding through many hands.
Jump Pogo. Bounce Pogo, Down Pogo, Up Pogo
Unannounced twister games,
All players with no names,
They lined up double quick,
But just one pogo stick,
Everyone gets to play,
Runaway, expose',
It was so exotic,
But just one pogo stick.
Jump Pogo. Bounce Pogo, Down Pogo, Up Pogo
Oh, I like to spread you out,
Touching whoever's behind
Jump Pogo. Bounce Pogo, Down Pogo, Up Pogo
-
ANYTHING BY MIDGET HANDJOB...
seriously, those guys are messed.
An excerpt:
Tied it all in knots.
A box situation carousel
resting somewhere down inside your colon
not resting so well.
Giraffe skin apolstry
charred black christman tree
slaughtered lambs
jewish hams
and it's a pretty tasty setup.
Got a little grease under your nails
Set out on a pleasure trip
forgot to bring your sails
Stumbled up against a placard
hanging backwards
looks something like a half assed fairy tale
A gravel paths no bubble bath
overblown tide pool film
The scripts been read and sealed in led
and tossed out to the sea
settling on the bottom
looking up
a shark swims by
but leaves no love.
anyways, the whole song is pretty much like that.
yeah...
go Keith Morris.
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kikanjuuneko wrote:
We care a lot about the Garbage Pail Kids, they never lie
We care a lot about Transformers cause there's more than meets the eye
I actually think this is my favorite couplet in all of music, ever. First encountered on the Grosse Point Blank soundtrack, which also contained Mirror in the Bathroom...
That is one of the greatest soundtracks of all time.
My ridiculous lyrical fave is by GWAR:
Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish
Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish
Gonna take a rivercarp and ram it up your butt
You slut
You whore
Why are you my Mom? (repeated)
Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish
Fishfuck, baby
Gonna fuck you with a fish
Gonna take a moa-moa and swim it up your butt
You slut
You whore
Why?
ALSO:
Ottowa Bonesaw by The Sugarplstic
Ottowa Bonesaw
I see Shannon shot from the cannon
Bet she'll land in the folley-folley shade
Her bed is always made
There's a crow in the meadow
And I've cleared my place, so...
Hey Mr. Locks, did you see the man, see the man drown?
Yes I did. Gone down with the boat
Off the Chimminy Rimminy coast, what a shame-oh.
(Black-hearted Dutchmen merrily, merrily.)
I see Brian running from a lion.
If he trips, he will surely, surely wade
Through the dreams that things are made of...
Crow in the kennel
And I cleared my place, so...
Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Saw
Ottowa Bone, Ottawa Bone, Ottowa Saw
Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Saw
Franklin agrees
We're invincible in principled hands.
(Don't be to cock-sure)
Sticks and stones
Weepin' widdle on the griddle of Japan, no, no.
Stake all you can, sing merrily, merrily.
I see China half a mind behind ya'.
One step back and a word is all it takes
To magnify mistakes
There's a crow in my tummy, in my belly,
in its place, so...
Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Saw
Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Saw
Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Bone, Ottowa Saw
Ottowa Bonesaw
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I'll take the whole Trey Anastasio/Mike Gordon/Jon Fishman/Page McConnell/Tom Marshall catelog for the win please. YEM, Llama, Scent of a Mule, Dog faced Boy, Run like an Antelope, Meatstick, etc. bizarre lyrics thy name is:
(http://www.cosmic-hippo.org/Graphics/phish.gif)
-sam
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They Might Be Giants Fingertips
Everything is catching
Yes, everything is catching on fire
(Everything's catching on fire)
Everything is catching on fire (everything's catching on fire)
Fingertips
Fingertips
Fingertips
I hear the wind blow
I hear the wind blow
It seems to say, "Hello, Hello,
I'm the one who loves you so."
Hey now everybody now
Hey now everybody
Hey now everybody now
Who's that standing out my window?
I found a new friend
Underneath my pillow
Come on and wreck my car (come on)
Come on and wreck my car (come on)
Come on and wreck my car (come on)
Come on and wreck my car (come on)
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
Aren't you the guy who hit me in the eye?
Please pass the milk, please
Please pass the milk, please
Please pass the milk, please
Leave me alone, leave me alone
Who's knocking on the wall?
All alone all alone
All by myself
What's that blue thing doing here?
Something grabbed ahold of my hand
I didn't know what had my hand
But that's when all my troubles began
I don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I just don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I don't understand the things you say
I can't understand a single word
I don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I just don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I cannot understand you (I don't understand you)
I don't understand you (I don't understand you)
I heard a sound, I turned around
I turned around to find the thing
That made the sound
Mysterious whisper
Mysterious whisper
Mysterious whisper
Mysterious whisper
The day that love came to play
I'm having a heart attack
I'm having a heart attack
I'm having a heart attack
I'm having a heart attack
Fingertips
Fingertips
I walk along darkened corridors
And I walk along darkened corridors
I walk along darkened corridors
And I walk along darkened corridors
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YESSS! I am such an avid TMBG fan that I loaded up fingertips in individual songs, and as one condensed "masterpeice". I think it's fun to listen to Apollo 18 all the way through so you can hear all of "Fingertips" leading into the epic space-groove of "Space Suit". I recorded a rockin' version of that with my crappy keyboard yesterday.
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Apollo 18 is lovely. Perhaps I should listen to it today. I have not listened to it in awhile. Fingertips is one of my favourite songs. I especially like it live :D
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not really 'ridiculous', but slightly mind-boggling on your first listen, is Blur's 'Girls & Boys'-
love in the nineties
is paranoid
on sunny beaches
take you chances looking for...
GIRLS WHO ARE BOYS
WHO LIKE BOYS TO BE GIRLS
WHO DO BOYS LIKE THEY'RE GIRLS
WHO DO GIRLS LIKE THEY'RE BOYS
ALWAYS SHOULD BE SOMEONE YOU REALLY LOVE...
love it.